The impact of the lack of basic family functions on children

1. Case

Xiao Kai is a fourth-grade boy. After his parents divorced, he lived with his grandmother and rarely saw his parents. Grandma is old and has no power over Xiao Kai's education. She can't control him. She can only feed him and clothe him in life. She can't do anything about his study or psychological changes. She can't supervise him to complete his homework or supervise him to complete his homework. Communicate spiritually with him. Xiaokai also has an older sister who is boarding at another school and goes home on weekends.

Xiao Kai is not serious about studying, and his academic performance is relatively poor. There are many unfinished questions on each exam paper. Xiao Kai's classroom performance is not good and he often doesn't listen carefully. No matter how passionate the teacher is on the podium or how actively the students speak below, he always spends a short time listening to lectures and spends more time reading extracurricular books or playing games. The little thing at hand may turn around and talk to the classmates behind, harass the classmates at the same table, or leave the seat and walk around, ignoring the teacher's criticism. He spoke less during group discussions and was unprepared for news broadcasts. He always refused to let other students in the group speak. For the teacher's questions, even if he knew the answer, he rarely raised his hand. Instead, he shared the answer with the students around him and encouraged them to raise their hands to speak. Xiao Kai's homework completion is poor. He often asks other students to help copy them in the homework registration book. He often does not complete the homework on time and does not hand in the homework on time. The quality of the homework handed in is not high.

Xiao Kai gets along well with his classmates. He likes to make trouble and tease his classmates, and he often uses words or gestures to jokingly mock his classmates. He likes to play with his classmates, who are also very tolerant of him. If there is no fight, I will help break up the fight. Xiaokai will take the initiative to help students in need. For example, I help my classmates pat the dust on the back of their clothes, lend my other pair of white cloth shoes to other students to wear at the school sports meeting, help clean the classroom, cheer for my classmates at the school sports meeting, etc. There is a sense of class honor and high popularity among classmates.

Xiao Kai is a cheerful and lively child, smart, cute, and helpful. He likes reading comic books, is interested in scientific experiments, and is good at sports. Do not know how to respect others, bother others or belittle classmates at will, and are unwilling to admit mistakes and apologize if they offend others. He is quite emotional and a bit capricious. He has a lot of fun when he is happy. When he is unhappy, he puts on a bad face and says, "Don't bother me!" Then he walks away without paying attention to anyone. I am quite sensitive at heart, and I am a bit repellent towards unfamiliar people. I feel that I am not good enough, but I still want to leave a good impression on others. Pay more attention to success and failure. For example, at the school sports meeting, before the game, he would joke with me: "I won't be able to run very fast later. If I lose, I will lose." During the game, he ran second in the group stage and was very happy. , full of expectations. After hearing the result of the broadcast, he was ranked fifth in the grade. The smile on his face immediately disappeared, the corners of his mouth pulled down, and he sullenly refused everyone's comfort and walked away alone. Lonely inside, longing for warmth. At school, there are classmates to play with, but when she comes home from school, she is the only one with her. Xiao Kai is actually very lonely and longs for someone to accompany her. During the internship period, although the time was very short and I didn't talk much with him, I clearly conveyed the message "I like you and I am willing to help you" to him. He gradually got close to me, and finally One day we were leaving and he held my arm tightly, not wanting me to leave and asking me to stay with him for a while longer. 2. Analysis

The above is the situation of the research object Xiaokai. The reason why Xiao Kai has the above-mentioned behaviors and personality traits is mainly because Xiao Kai lacks the normal family education he should have and does not truly enjoy the warmth of family.

Family education refers to social activities in family life where parents (first of all, parents) consciously and consciously implement certain educational influences on their children through their own words and deeds and family life practices in accordance with the requirements of cultivating talents in society. . The family is the cradle of children's growth. It can be said that children's physical development, knowledge growth, intelligence cultivation, especially the cultivation of moral character, good behavior habits and the formation of personality are all first nurtured and enlightened in the family. Family education is the longest education a person receives in his or her life, and its impact on children is long-term and lasting. Good family education is a necessary condition for cultivating high-quality talents, a catalyst for optimizing children's minds, the best supplement to school education, and an indispensable part of the entire education work.

For primary school students, even if they enter school and their interactions with teachers and classmates gradually increase and become closer, the time spent with their parents decreases. However, their parents are always their closest people, and their home is always the warmest. harbor. Some parents now believe that as long as they provide their children with the best possible material and learning conditions, they have fulfilled their parental responsibilities. This is not right. What children need is not only material satisfaction, but more importantly, parents’ care for them. Parents can do many things with them, understand their own thoughts, communicate with themselves, and share happiness and pain with themselves. . In this case, Xiaokai’s parents are divorced and neither of them lives with him. His parents do not participate in family education. Xiaokai cannot get the spiritual support of his parents. He cannot find a home for his soul and cannot feel the love and warmth. Lots of questions.

Normal family structure and normal parent-child relationship are important prerequisites for the success of family education. Incomplete family structure and lack of family education will have adverse effects on children in many aspects. The divorce of parents can cause great trauma to children's hearts and disrupt their psychological and emotional balance. The educational function in the family is jointly undertaken by both parents. The absence of one parent will cause the family's educational function to be deficient. There are also obvious problems with intergenerational education: (1) It leads to doting. The old man loves his grandson even more. He is reluctant to beat or scold him, and he will try his best to satisfy the child's needs. The elderly have devoted their feelings to their children in their grandchildren, and they always want to give the best things to their children. Because most children nowadays are only children, the elderly will have psychological scruples, fearing that their children will blame them if they make a slight mistake, so they rely on their children for everything and do not correct their children in time when they make mistakes. (2) The educational concepts of our ancestors are backward. Regardless of the changes of the times, many ancestors still use old ideas to demand their children, give them too much old experience, and lack the cultivation of pioneering spirit and divergent thinking. (3) Unable to help children in their studies. The knowledge of our ancestors is relatively old and cannot help children with their studies or supervise their homework. (4) It has a great impact on the development of children’s personality and behavioral habits. In this case, Xiao Kai has no parents to take care of him, but is raised by his grandmother. There is a big age gap between his grandparents and grandchildren. His grandmother adopts an indulgent and free way to satisfy Xiao Kai materially, but Xiao Kai is not satisfied spiritually and emotionally. I can't communicate, I can't share my mood, I can't feel the warmth of home, I feel lonely inside. Grandma can't help Xiaokai with his studies. Every time Xiaokai writes a family notebook, he has to ask his classmates to complete it. Grandma cannot supervise him to complete his homework. Xiao Kai has poor self-discipline and does not complete his homework on time. Without the words and deeds of his parents, Xiao Kai did not develop good behavioral habits, nor did he develop very well in terms of moral character. 3. Suggestions

1. Maintain close contact between parents and children and create a good family education atmosphere.

Family education is composed of parents and children. If any one is missing, it will be incomplete, which will cause the lack of family education and have no impact on the growth of the child. The success of family education requires the efforts and initiative of parents. Parents must shoulder their own responsibilities and cannot pass it on to their grandparents. As parents, you should pay more attention to your children, meet with them frequently, communicate with them in a variety of ways, understand your children's thoughts, pay attention to your children's development and changes, and satisfy your children spiritually. Only in a close parent-child relationship and a good family education atmosphere can children feel the care and love of their parents, feel the warmth of the family, and develop healthily in all aspects.

2. Teachers should pay more attention to these children and give them more care and love.

Teachers, especially head teachers, will have a clearer understanding of students’ situations. When students study in school and get along with teachers, they have more trust in teachers. In addition to teaching and solving doubts, teachers should also pay attention to the psychological needs of students, give them more care and love, and help them form good personalities and develop good behavioral habits. For example, in class, when they perform well, praise them in time; when they make a mistake, don't rush to deny them, but listen to them, guide them to analyze, understand, admit their mistakes, and dare to Correction; you can assign them some tasks to show your trust and support for them; let the better students in the class get close to them and drive them.

3. Grandparents change their educational concepts and discipline their children correctly.

The ancestors should realize that their educational concepts are backward and do not meet the requirements of the times. They should learn more about the current situation of education, take the initiative to change their own educational concepts, and should not pamper their children too much and praise them when they are due. Praise, reward when you deserve it, and take responsibility when you deserve responsibility. Communicate more with your children’s parents so that they can better understand their children’s development and changes. Talk to your children more and listen to them about what happened at school so that they can talk and express their emotions.

3. Integrate family education with school education.

Both family education and school education are important components of education, and the combination of the two will have a great positive impact on the growth of children. Parents’ visits to schools or teachers’ home visits promote communication and cooperation between home and school, enhance both parties’ understanding of their children, and help them develop better.