Send a circle of friends to force a summary.

Pretend to be forced? b？ What did you mean at first? Big? In other words, it can be literally understood as pretending to be very powerful, and there are many such people in the circle of friends. The following are the sentences I carefully arranged for you to make friends, hoping to help you!

Send funny sentences in a circle of friends

1.？ Do you know what you are in my heart? The goddess suddenly sent this sentence.

I immediately asked: What is this?

? Half is a male god. ?

I was flattered, and then she said, half of it is menstrual disease. ?

My nephew likes roast duck very much. He wanted to eat roast duck today, but he didn't say anything. He said to me:? Uncle, uncle will freeze to death if he doesn't eat roast duck in winter! ?

? Why? I was shocked.

? If you don't eat roast duck, you won't kill the duck. If you don't kill a duck, you won't pluck its feathers. Without duck feathers, you can't make a down jacket. Without down jackets, we will freeze to death. ?

The two armies confronted each other in the valley, and the guards came in to report the situation of the enemy. Sir, the enemy reconnaissance plane is taking pictures of us. ?

Sir:? Pass on my orders? Don't laugh! ?

Part-time job in the supermarket during the summer vacation.

A guest came in and asked, How much is that red plum?

? Four and a half dollars. ?

? So what?

? China is 45 yuan. ?

He resolutely took out 45 yuan.

I respectfully handed a pack of Chinese: I knew it was the big boss at a glance! ?

He said impatiently, cut the crap, four and a half! ?

Send humorous sentences in a circle of friends

1. Recently, my wife tried her best to make me quit smoking. Today, I have a meeting at work. During the break, I took out my cigarettes and gave them to the big boss and the second boss. The boss held out his hand. I opened the cigarette case and sprinkled a handful of melon seeds. Me? I was stunned.

2. A friend broke up with her boyfriend and asked why. She said:? Son of a bitch thinks my breasts are too big, and says that I don't know how many men have touched my breasts. If he can't accept it, he will break up! ? Well, that's the best fucking reason to break up.

It is said that a college girl broke up with her boyfriend and said: I found another boyfriend in the physical education department. We've been dating for a year, and you have to give me 2K for the loss of youth. ? Are boys afraid? A new boyfriend from the sports department? And want to find a way to export natural gas. On the day of payment, both the girl and her new boyfriend were present. The ex-boyfriend brought 10 boys, and everyone came over and gave the girls 200 yuan. After three or four months, the girl cried and her new boyfriend broke up.

I said to my dad: If you work harder and suffer a little, I will be a rich second generation now, just enjoy it every day. It's your fault. ? He thought:? You're right. Let me tell you something. From now on, your son will be a rich second generation. Enjoy your life, okay? I am anxious: Why? ! I suffer hardships and let that boy enjoy it? ! ? Well, that's what I thought. ?

The tiger king and the lion king were drinking in the bar and then crying. Then the fox waiter came over and asked, Why are the two big brothers so sad? The lion king patted the fox and pointed to the tiger king, saying that there is a tigress in his house and a Hedong lion in my house. Brother, how did you spend your life? Hearing this, the fox immediately said with tears and grievances. Two big brothers, my fox is not worried! ?

6. The old monk regretted that he had never seen a woman before. The young monk went down the mountain and found a prostitute to show him naked. After reading it, the old monk sighed with emotion: How like a nun! ? Then I closed my eyes.

7. I was sitting in the shop when suddenly a child rushed in and jumped on me, which scared me to death. I thought someone had hurt the child, and then she hid under the table, and a man and a woman followed her and looked around. I thought of the trafficker, but I didn't say anything, so I let her hide. Soon she hugged my leg and screamed, and someone outside came in to pull her. I didn't see anything for a long time, except that she said piteously, Aunt! Help me! I don't want an injection! ?

8. There is a little girl at home, and one morning I braided her hair. Lori:? Mom, do you know why my eyes are so big? Me:? Do you still have to ask? Of course, because mom and dad have big eyes. ? Lori:? No? Me:? Then why do you think it is? Lori:? Because you pulled my eyelids up when you braided my hair. ?

9. I passed the primary school after work and saw a little girl asking the little boy:? Can you do all the questions in today's exam? Little boy:? Yes ? Little girl:? Then can you play basketball? Little boy:? Yes, both. ? Little girl:? Then what won't you do? Little boy:? I won't dislike you. ? As a result, the little girl kissed the little boy. I'm going against the sky, love. Think about yourself again. I deserve to be single. Ah, what a painful understanding?

Send a forced word in a circle of friends

1. There is a MM with a particularly flat chest, and I am afraid that my boyfriend will know that I dislike myself, so I will keep it from my boyfriend. Finally, they went to bed for the first time, turned off the lights and got into bed? When the boyfriend touched MM's chest, he said, Honey, don't sleep on your stomach! ?

The young couple share a bed with their son. In the middle of the night, the couple secretly made out and suddenly found that their son was gone! After searching for a long time, it turned out that my son was hiding behind the door with his knees. Husband and wife shouted:? Come back quickly, there is wind behind the door! ? The son said angrily: Don't lie, it's windy under the covers! ! ?

3. The wife asked her husband: If I am crazy, will you still love me? The husband said firmly: Honey. ? The wife pondered for a while and said sadly, you really love me! ?

Before the wedding, the groom asked the host:? How much does it cost to hold a wedding? The host said:? The more beautiful the bride, the more expensive it is! ? The groom is embarrassed to give his master a dollar. The host paused, looked back at the bride, and then got back fifty cents.

5. The Academy of Fine Arts is taking a human body class. A girl was drawing when she suddenly dropped her pen on the ground! The girl shouted at the male model:? I'm older and younger, and I'll fucking let people draw it! ?

6. That man is chatting up beautiful women in the bar. The man asked: I wonder what kind of man a beautiful woman is interested in? The beauty was silent for a while and whispered: big money, coarse equipment. ?

7. One day, a school was having a tense exam! The exam topic is "Similarities between Bad-hearted Radish and Pregnant Women"! Only three students passed! The answers of these three students are:? It's all bugs. ? Only one student got full marks! The answer is:? It is too late! ?

8. It is your duty to sleep with your wife; Sleep comfortably and happily with mistresses; Sleeping with classmates is an old love; Sleeping with rich women is to get more money; Sleeping with a young lady is a contribution to foreign aid; Sleeping with widows is the contemporary Lei Feng spirit!

9. The wife asked her husband: Do you like my tenderness, or are you infatuated with my sexy figure? The husband was embarrassed for a while and answered:? I like your sense of humor! ! ?

10. Miss was taken away by the criminal police for questioning. Miss sophistry:? I just sold two yuan condoms to two hundred yuan! ? The criminal police team asked him angrily: How dare you quibble! What happened afterwards? Miss explained:? After that? Later, I taught him how to use it, which belongs to after-sales service. ?

1 1. After the tsunami, there was a rotting male corpse floating in the village, and only the lower body could argue! A village woman looked at it and said, this is not my man, nor the village head, nor the accountant. ? The village girl looked at it and said, this is not my brother-in-law or my brother-in-law! ? Then a widow came over and touched it and said, go home, it's not from our village. ?

12. The wife and husband were shopping when the wife's skirt was suddenly blown up by the strong wind! The wife pressed her skirt in a panic and shouted:? Oh, my God, the spring is leaking! ? The husband gave her a white look and said, please! This is dirty clothes! ?

13. a:? Dude, why do you look so sad? b:？ I accidentally posted my wife's nude photos online! ? A:? Then it's too early for you to be sad now. If that post sinks, you will be sad again! ? Think about it and you will understand.