What are the profound self-deprecating sentences?

Put down your posture, I am the master of my road.

A good man has no good wife, but a lazy man marries a cuttlefish.

Live well, every day there is a new blow.

I was drunk and nobody obeyed, so I held the wall.

Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

Come on, you are the worst. Come on, you are the fattest. Please, you are the poorest.

Today, I fell down the stairs and it didn't hurt at all. Unfortunately, there is so much meat on it.

Lao Tzu has always regarded beauty and money as dirt, and they have always treated me like this.

Travel doesn't have to care about the destination, but the scenery along the way. Because I only have enough money to buy a round-trip hard-seat train ticket.

I want to be different from others every day, and the result is the same every day.

Criteria for judging whether a person is a "waste": anyone can do the same thing better than him.

Don't do things that don't care about other people's feelings under the banner of true temperament. After all, this will only expose the fact that you have no education and low emotional intelligence.

How hysterical you cry, people will think you are making a mountain out of a molehill. The word "empathy" is just an idiom in the dictionary, that's all.