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A humorous classic sentence. Humorous sentences necessary for chatting.

Classic sentences of verbal humor

1. There are no handsome guys in the world. With high technology, it will come naturally.

2. Online dating makes me lovelorn every day.

3. My heart is not a bus, it is not that you sit down when there is an empty seat.

4. Our love, the doctor said that we have tried our best.

I'll try my best to save money to buy an ATM.

6. I am noble because you kneel down!

7. How beautiful the sharp entanglement is.

In today's society, toilet water can be used as tap water.

9. Admit your mistakes and never change.

10. With the block printing machine, you can make money quickly.

1 1. It's better to cook than to mix, not to be second, not to be soaring.

12. It's time to hug each other, and Yang is watching.

13. This wind is really obscene, and it has dried my mouth.

14. Only by eating all the time can you maintain your complete personality.

15. Qian Qian, a son and daughter of China, has hundreds of millions of people. If this doesn't work, replace it.

16. Touch screens are popular in mobile phones and computers now. A friend especially felt: Now that technology is developing so fast, it is hard to say which day TV will touch the screen. Another friend said: you are so stupid! Do I have to walk over and poke with my finger without the remote control?

17. if marriage is the grave of love, then: blind date is to see feng shui for the grave; Confession is digging your own grave; Marriage is a double suicide; Empathy is moving the grave; A third party, it's a grave robbery!

18. Nothing that can be solved with money is a problem. The problem is that I am poor.

19. Flowers often don't belong to people who appreciate flowers, but to cow dung (flowers always wither, and they must be accompanied by cow dung when they wither).

20. Gold always shines, but when there is gold everywhere, I don't know which one I am.

2 1. Many women want me to be their son-in-law, but their daughters don't want to.

22. I am driving a flying car, trying to release the pressure constantly.

Don't bully me just because I can't speak English. I can answer from Baidu or sogou.

24. clap your head to make a decision, clap your chest and promise to leave.

25. You are just a bitch, always trying to sow discord between us and our parents.

Humorous sentences necessary for chatting

1. Without toads, swans would be lonely.

Yes, it's my great pleasure to play the fool. If you think it's true, I'll pretend to be you.

3. The fat is so thick that it hurts to move!

How big your life is, how much homework you have.

5. I wish you: high position, light responsibility, more money and less work, staying close to home, sleeping until dawn every day, hand cramps, spending money to receive gifts, and others working overtime for a raise!

6. You, you, you goblin, poisoned me with your love poison, but refused to give me the antidote! Little villain! Oh! I'm dying! Help me! The solution is simple: give me your love!

Looking at your dirty face, I have an impulse to throw up.

8. Asking what the world is like will only make people die unsatisfied.

9. When I am dead, I have something to burn, little things to call my soul, and big things to dig my grave.

10. If I throw a glass of water in your face, it will ruin your face.

1 1. Never give up, never leave this life; If you don't like it, die.

12. I don't want to live, but now I don't want to die and I can't afford to die.

13. The moon is bright in the park. Couples are in pairs. Look up at the moon. Where's the wife?

14. As long as the hoe jumps well, there is no wall that cannot be dug down.

15. I not only have a car, but also my own!

Classic humorous sentences when chatting.

1. Loneliness is a person's carnival, and carnival is the loneliness of a group of people.

There are so many people who look down on me. Who are you?

3. What is happiness? Happiness is that cats eat fish and dogs eat meat, and Altman beats small animals!

4. The reason why anonymous college students don't become nuns is that she hasn't passed Band 4, and buddhist nun won't accept it.

The so-called surprise is that the rabbit you are waiting for comes, followed by the wolf!

6. Rich people are grandfathers! But there are even more people who owe money and don't pay it back!

7. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes it.

8. The heart is a pocket. When things are loaded less, it is called scheming. When you are a child, it is called the brain. When I was a child, I called it scheming. It is often called scheming.

9. Man is a lazy animal, just like a frog caught in a stew pot: the water is heating, although it is uncomfortable, it can be tolerated, so it is tolerated. When the water is boiling, it wants to resist and escape, but there is nothing it can do.

10. Life is like an electrocardiogram. If everything goes well, you're dead.

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Talk about humorous sentences necessary for chatting.

On the humorous sentences necessary for chatting (1) 1. I said I liked Li Bai's poems better, Lu You got angry, and then the family couldn't surf the Internet.

The lost girl finally found her place.

There are plenty of people's backgrounds, and I only have my back.

Xiaoming was deeply impressed by the teacher's teaching, so the next day, he had a pair of false teeth.

I wanted to eat my sadness one by one, but I got fat one by one.

6. Be strong. Failure is also a part of success. Where you fall, you are wrong.

7. Sleeping is such a thing. I still sleep soundly at my school desk.

8. A class, a harem, there are always several people competing for favor.

9. I think my math scores are worthy of the math teacher's face value!

10. Brother, don't make me use my power in Beijing. I don't want to start a bloody relationship.

1 1. Just look at me coldly and don't hit me just because you can't get me.

12. People who used to turn to ashes can recognize it, but now they can't recognize it with makeup.

13. Don't help me. I'm not drunk. The road ahead will move. Help me keep that road.

14. What kind of women chase men's barrier yarns? Just across the Sahara desert.

15. Describe your category, from vertebrate to invertebrate, and finally to mollusk.

16. You are most likely to have a heart attack at the moment when the results are announced.

17. People hold hands and I hold the dog to see who is unhappy with a bite.

18. If I were a princess, I would save a frog, but all I met were toads.

19. There are two reasons why inviting girls out to play failed. One is that she is too lazy to wash her hair, and the other is that your invitation is not worth washing her hair.

20. You don't have to be able to do the problem, but the volume must be loud.

Humorous sentences necessary for chatting (2) 1. How to transfer the money in my head to the bank card and wait online? Urgent!

2. It's almost the Spring Festival, so let's all bask in our own objects in case there is the same paragraph.

It doesn't matter if no one gives you a gift. You can come to me. As long as you mention it, I will sayno..

4. Self-cultivation of girls taking photos: Take only one of 3,000 selfies.

If there is an afterlife, I want to make a quilt, either lying in bed or basking in the sun!

6. Do you know who is the best diving partner in China? Mother-in-law always falls into the water at the same time.

7. When people say that they are going to bed, they actually want to lie in bed and play with their mobile phones. If they get up, they will also sit on the toilet and play with their mobile phones.

8. Don't call me for no reason, and don't call me for no reason.

9. It pains me to see skinny African refugees on TV, but my grandmother said, "Baby, don't be fooled by the TV now. They will have no money to eat, so their mother will take them to have a perm! "

10. At the age of teenage flowers, you grow into a succulent plant.

1 1. College students meet for the first time after work and choose the zoo. Everyone agrees because only here can we feel that we are still individuals!

12. Busy! Super busy! Super busy! Super Isaiah is very busy!

13. I want to go back when I leave school. When I came back, that feeling was gone.

14. Count your money until you get cramped and sleep until you wake up naturally!

15. When quarreling with my wife, I roared: "Don't think you are beautiful, I won't dare to hit you!" I thought she would be happy to hear this, but I didn't expect her to say, "Don't think that what you said is very reasonable and I will let you go!" " "

16. I don't even believe in punctuation.

17. I'm sleepy in spring, tired in summer, tired in autumn, hibernating and dreaming of four seasons. How can I listen carefully?

18. I fell down in the street, and when people around me laughed at me, I got up and fell a few times, killing them.

19. I used to be a thin man, too, until one sentence changed me. You eat, eat, you are not fat. I mistakenly thought I was really not fat.

20. But all the delicious food is winking at me, and I can't help feeling lucky.

Talk about humorous sentences necessary for chatting (III) 1. When my hair is waist-length, I will cover my body fat, even if I am squatting, I will be cold and arrogant.

2. Carnival is the loneliness of a group of people, and loneliness is the carnival of one person.

When I love you, I am what you say. What do you say you are when I don't love you?

I changed her from a girl to a girl; She changed me from a boy to ... a poor man.

The biggest trouble for boys is creditors, and the biggest trouble for girls is lovers.

6. Some people say that if you have a baby, you won't have dysmenorrhea. Have one!

7. There are many levels of inferiority complex. The highest state of inferiority is boasting that everything is a genius.

8. After studying Chinese for nine years, it is better to talk about QQ for half a year.

If I don't beat you, I will turn against you.

10. Don't do anything wrong, throw all the dirty water on yourself. I have to save it for flushing the toilet.

1 1. Feelings precipitate over time and disappear over time.

12. When you see through it, pretend you don't know.

13. You did badly in the exam! It broke my heart, not to mention my parents.

14. I am so poor, why am I fat? I don't know how this meat grows. This problem has puzzled me for many years.

15. Not everyone is a vegetarian. Being a vegetarian is just an act.

16. Deliberate unhappiness is also a kind of hypocrisy, and the degree is not small.

17. My waist flashed, and it was not youth that caused trouble, but stress.

18. People die by mistake, which is the highest level of murder. Even the medical examiner can't identify the cause of death.

19. Even if there are no flowers on the road, I can still enjoy the desolation.

20. The road to success is always under construction!

Super humorous and funny chat sentences Super humorous chat sentences

Super humorous chat sentences

1. Handsome is useless! Finally, I was eaten by a chess piece!

2. What is tolerance? Xiaoming went home to show his father after the exam. Dad: Math scores! Xiaoming frightened his father:: Chinese points! Xiao Ming nodded, and the condensed air in the trembling atmosphere was terrible. Xiao Ming feels that a blood shed is coming to him. Dad took a deep breath and said slowly, Ming! You, you are a little biased!

3. When looking for a girlfriend, look for someone who doesn't like makeup! Draw once in a while! I will feel heartbroken if I find a general makeup! Not occasionally! Easy to die suddenly!

Due to long-term separation, Cowherd and his cow have been cancelled on Tanabata. I hope everyone knows.

5. Tanabata buddies shouted: Is Cowherd as miserable as me? He can at least see his wife once. I have lived for so many years and have never seen his wife once!

6. Don't ask me how to spend this Tanabata Valentine's Day this year. I really want to skip it and muddle along. But I still admit cowardice, and I just feel sad.

7. How can you have love and refuse to be hurt at the same time? Don't forget that Cupid shot an arrow, not a rose.

8. It is forbidden to urinate here, and tools will be confiscated.

9. I struggled to climb to the top of the ladder, but found that I climbed the wrong wall.

10. When I got home at night, my husband didn't put the key in the lock hole for a long time. Daughter-in-law said angrily: if it is a woman who opens the door, she must be anxious.

1 1. Peacock tried to open the screen, but it showed its asshole!

12. It's hard to find rich people without money.

13. Theoretically, I have two kinds of smiles: grin, obscene, grin, very obscene. In fact, people say that I laugh extremely obscene.

14. Look at a beautiful mm, but there is no way to strike up a conversation. Pick up a brick by the roadside and step forward. Classmate, did you drop this?

15. Drive my brother home. I asked him: Do you have the money to take a bus? This product actually said to me: How can a man not wear a card! Only you can make the bus card fresh and refined.

16. Please don't disturb while taking a shower. Please buy tickets for voyeurism, 40% for individuals and 20% for groups!

17. Time is the best teacher, but it's a pity that he finally killed all the students.

18. Yuanyang drowned in the water; Fly with me and fall to your death!

19. Teacher, can we change the teaching methods? Like dreams.

20. Having milk is not necessarily a mother, but having money must be a grandfather!

2 1. My neighbor's child's name is Zhu Chuan. Every time his mother buys clothes for him, she always tells people that she bought clothes for our family Zhu Chuan.

Many years ago, a remote mountain village just had electricity, and every household used light bulbs. An old lady somehow turned off the light and blew it like a kerosene lamp for a long time, but it still didn't go out. She said to herself, this new thing is really good, windproof.

23. Give you a watermelon. When you are in a bad mood, you can use a small knife to cut and cut. At the same time, you can vent and shout loudly: I kill melons, I kill melons, I kill melons!

24. A shy boy finally got up the courage to ask his beloved girl: What kind of boy do you like? The girl said: the boy who is congenial to you still asks the same question, so he has to say sadly: can't you have a flat head?

25. A woman bought breakfast with counterfeit money. The stall owner is annoyed: Elder sister, even if you give counterfeit money, at least it is printed. Your bill is actually painted! To say the least, forget to draw. You can draw five tens or seven.

26. Have you eaten? You should eat this. If you haven't eaten, don't look yet.

27. A farmer was walking on the ridge with two loads of dung. A man went up and asked, Grandpa, how much is this sauce a catty? The farmers made no noise. The man reached out and dipped a little into his mouth and tasted it, thinking, I won't tell you how much a catty is unless you tell me.

28. This wolf cub has been a vegetarian since birth. Wolf parents and wolves rack their brains to train wolf cubs to hunt. Finally, Sirius's parents and the wolf were pleased that Machete's son was chasing rabbits crazily. The wolf cub grabbed the rabbit and said, boy! Hand over the carrots!

29. Someone rode a bicycle to the street, passed a junction and left it alone. When the traffic police saw it, they exclaimed: Good palms! Someone waved happily and replied: comrades have worked hard!

30. When I am angry, I will pick up the phone and dial a foreign number. Without adding zero, I will soon hear someone say to me: I'm sorry.

Selected super humorous chat sentences

1. What wakes me up every day is neither peeing. It is not an alarm clock, nor a dream, but poverty.

Doing nothing every day is also a kind of pain. God, for my piety, let me bear this pain alone!

On the first night of joining the army for her father, Hua Mulan wrote to the widow Sun at the head of the village, saying, It's a great loss if you don't come!

I thought the air was free until I bought a bag of potato chips.

I heard that I can find the check-in records online now, and I immediately panicked. How embarrassing it would be if someone found out that I had never opened a house!

After careful investigation by the police, the criminals finally surfaced, and the director decided decisively: get them out quickly!

7. Couple, M: Since we got together, we have gone out for a barbecue every night, and I have a beer belly. Woman: I didn't expect the crystallization of our love to be reflected in you first.

8. I quarreled with my wife today. I said to her: Do you believe I hit your husband? Then I slapped myself. She looked at me and said I dare, and then she snapped. I was slapped again and told Nima not to follow the routine!

9. My father-in-law quarreled with her mother-in-law, and her mother-in-law was angry: I will take my grandson back to my mother's house tomorrow and never come back. At this time, the daughter-in-law heard: Good idea, keep my son and take your son away! The whole family was suddenly happy, what a humorous daughter-in-law!

Humorous sentences suitable for chatting

1, oval face, red crisp hands, slender waist of willows, small cherry mouth, almond-eyed eyebrows, and skin as white as lotus root. You are really beautiful, more beautiful than plants. Are you a legendary vegetable? !

2. A pirated windows CD says: We paid the original price in Qing Dynasty, so we don't need to activate it. Please feel free to use!

My wife supported me to buy a car for the first time, so I don't have to worry about bringing things when I go to see my mother, and I can bring more things back when I go to see your mother.

Women like two kinds of flowers all their lives: one is to spend money, and the other is to spend as much as possible!

6. Anyone can write dozens of modern poems a day as long as they are shameless.

7. Being lazy in bed in the morning, I took out six coins from my pocket: if I throw six heads, I will go to class! I've been thinking about it for a long time. Forget it. Don't take the risk.

8. Woman: She can like you, but she doesn't love you; She can love you, but she won't marry you; She can marry you, but she can't have children; She can have children, but the children are not yours.

9. In college, a cyclist may be a tutor, and a Mercedes driver may be a logistics person.

10, an employee p C was arrested by public security experts and became the company's annual scandal. Reason for dismissal: going to such a cheap place will make the company lose face!

1 1. As soon as I took off my cotton trousers, Miss Chun came lightly.

12, I can't stand this commercial sign, which says: tear it down, give money, sell it! I threw her 5 yuan to buy a down jacket, but she wouldn't sell it. It's too deceiving consumers!

13, girls are like moon cakes in the Mid-Autumn Festival, which are worthless after fifteen nights.

14, spent 80,000 yuan to buy a pottery jar of the Western Zhou Dynasty. I went to Jianbao column for appraisal yesterday. The expert said seriously: which Western Zhou Dynasty is this? This is from last week!

15, after the results of the college entrance examination came out, the teacher sighed and said: In fact, not being admitted is a kind of happiness for you and the university ~

16, one day after I graduated from college, I saw a classmate I hadn't contacted for a long time release his horse on the other side of the river, so I laughed at him and said, What a mess! As a result, he quarreled with me. I'm angry: damn it, bring it on if you dare! He is also angry: who is afraid of being short, just bring the cow here!

17, don't even know Beckham, how dare you talk to me about basketball!

Humorous sentences suitable for chatting Common humorous chat sentences

Humorous sentences suitable for chatting

1. A man keeps his word. If I say no, I won't pay back the money!

2. I'm not RMB, why does everyone like me? !

It's not difficult to be single, but it's difficult to deal with people who try their best to get you to end it.

If you have time to learn Feng Shui, you can make up for the regret that you can't afford a good house before you die.

5. Confucius said: Don't eat every day, don't sleep at night. It's no use thinking about it. Let's go to Weibo.

6. Oh, my God! I found another penny, and I made a fortune!

In the face of the enemy's torture, I have only three words: I will say anything. ....

You are beautiful, but among us handsome guys, it's not your turn. ; )

9. Brother, I'll throw a brick first. Throw the jade if you have it.

10. Help if you are in trouble, and help if you are not.

1 1. I thought I was evil. I didn't know until I met him. There are very few people who are better than me.

12. Those who can't lose weight are always in turmoil, and those who can't eat fat are fearless.

13. Your appearance is inaccurate and the proportion is not good.

14. Not only am I lucky, but my beriberi is also good.

15. I am not RMB. How can I make everyone like me?

16. If you are destined not to give me the expected response, then keep a safe distance.

17. Our goal: Look at money and earn more.

18. Go to the supermarket to knead instant noodles when you are in a bad mood.

19. Get out of here and keep getting out of here.

20. In the dead of night, missing becomes so presumptuous.

2 1. Please don't take my tolerance for you on the spot as your shameless capital.

22. Zhuge Liang never took a single soldier before he came out of the mountain. Why should I have work experience?

23. Memory is a bridge, but it leads to a lonely prison.

I knew you were a monster as soon as I opened my eyes.

25. I am a passer-by who you turn around and forget. Why should I spend time with you on earth?

Common humorous chat sentences

1. Happiness is a comparative level. You can't feel it until something is at the bottom.

Love is like a ghost, many people believe it, but few people meet it.

When I was young, you and I made many mistakes because we didn't learn love well.

4. How to be a woman without cruelty, pettiness, affectation and scheming?

5. I wanted to turn around luxuriously, but I hit the wall in a low-key way.

6. The personality you think is actually blind.

7. Probably only what I heard in the hearsay is true.

8. We must drive the non-mainstream out of China.

9. Have you been thrown three times at birth and only been caught twice?

10. You can lie to me, but since you said it, please try your best to round this lie down, and don't let me expose it or I will kill you.

1 1. Standing at the crossroads of life.

12. At present, I am wasting my time, I am blurring the present, and I am afraid of the future.

13. The most attractive person is Master Kong, and thousands of people hit on him every day.

14. Yes, pig has been read backwards.

15. When I came to this world, I didn't intend to go back alive!

Humorous chat and interesting sentences

1. Women watch Korean dramas and use a lot of paper towels every year. In fact, isn't it the same for men to watch Japanese dramas?

Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compete with you.

What do you want others to scold you most? Being rich is amazing.

4. Time raped the past, leaving behind evil seeds called memory!

5. Ask a friend today: If you win 5 million, what's the first thing? He took his mobile phone and said, I called to borrow money and borrowed all my relatives and friends.

If you want to test my patience, please prepare your patience first.

7. Give me a girl and I can create a country.

8. I hope to win a heart and not be blind date!

9. I am also the seed of infatuation, and I drowned in the rain.

10. If sometimes you think my words are too heavy, thank you, I did it on purpose.