How can I escape the psychology of caring about people's evaluation of themselves?

Personally, if you want to care less about people's evaluation of yourself, there are three problems that need to be improved.

first: in fact, if you think about it carefully, you care so much about what others say about you, but have you found out whether you are also a person who likes to comment on others. This point should be ignored by many people. In fact, this is a reflection of a psychological problem. You like judge very much, so in your mind, you will feel that others are like this and that, judge yours. If you can let yourself judge others less, naturally your heart will not feel that others are judging you.

second: people who care about others' comments and opinions about themselves are relatively less confident, and even have some inferiority complex. No matter what reason they are not confident, they will pay great attention to their performance in front of others, right? Are you dressed appropriately enough? Does body language seem silly? And so on ... In fact, continuous learning, progress and growth, and continuous improvement of self-confidence can solve this problem.

In daily life, it is normal to care about other people's comments, but you should not care too much. Paying too much attention to other people's opinions is a sign of self-distrust. Different people have different evaluation criteria for things. Your behavior can't satisfy everyone. If you always act according to other people's opinions. Over time, it is easy to form an indecisive character without definite opinions, which will have an immeasurable negative impact on your life.

So, how can we get rid of blx? 1, first of all, we should straighten our mentality, set ourselves a short-term goal at work, and then concentrate on the realization of the goal to enrich ourselves. Every time you accomplish a goal, your self-confidence will be better improved. 2, don't be a good man. Learn to refuse. Have you noticed that most of the so-called nice people around you have traces of pleasing personality? They like to help others do things without a bottom line. I'm afraid I've done something wrong and offended others. As everyone knows, this bottomless help often doesn't bring the desired effect. On the contrary, it will do bad things with good intentions and offend people invisibly. At this time, they will be extremely annoyed and will work harder to make up for others, which will form a vicious circle. Bring serious interference to your life and make a mess of your life.

Therefore, we should care about ourselves rather than others. Born to be human, we should build our own lives, for ourselves, for our parents and for our children. Only when you are happy and confident can you help others more appropriately.

in the final analysis, we should be confident people.

this problem is very common. Everyone cares more or less about what others think of him, especially the people he cares about.

To solve this problem, I think we can start from the following points:

1. Have a clear understanding and positioning of ourselves. Know what you can and cannot do. What you can and can't do.

2 Have a certain understanding of law, morality and the way of the world, and avoid breaking some taboos. I think this is also very important. Knowing the law is because this is a legal society and there must be corresponding laws and regulations to abide by. The human society is a social society, and morality is a norm which is different from other animals and formed by long-term development of human beings. It is the knowledge of most people, and we all think it is right. Abide by the law, be ethical, and not violate the taboos of the world, so that we can have a clear conscience and be right when we do things. Have a clear conscience

3 have a clear understanding of your actions or things. I think there is no problem if it does not harm others' interests and social justice. If it is self-struggle, self-improvement, entrepreneurship or entrepreneurial failure, let alone how others evaluate it. After all, many people don't even have the courage to do it It's not terrible to brag, what's terrible is to realize all the bragging cows.

I don't know what the subject is talking about, so I can't give specific opinions. Good luck and a healthy world.

First of all, we must be fully aware of this phenomenon. Most people have people and things we care about at different stages, so most people can't escape from this right or wrong evaluation! Objective understanding! But we can learn to make a step whether you can know yourself. When you know yourself better, you can objectively evaluate whether your people are in line with the facts! If it is, accept it. If it is not the other person and someone you care about, communicate and let him know that you know you! This premise is based on the people you care about! Because we actually care more about what people who care about think of us!

Then, let's analyze the psychological situation first, and then gradually get rid of this problem according to the four methods provided below.

Generally, people who are used to listening to others' comments have the following two kinds of psychology:

People are eager to have an accepted and recognized appeal, hoping to be liked by everyone. Once this appeal is strong enough to wronged themselves and meet the requirements of others, it becomes a kind of ingratiation.

In the company, there are always people who are lazy to ask for help to finish her work, so she can't help saying "You are the best" and chose to work overtime. There are always relatives who have the cheek to ask for something, saying that they are asking for nothing in return, and they can't bear her saying, "Hey, it's only a matter of how much their relatives don't help." Had to handle affairs all relatives face; Friends invited to play, but they didn't want to go and were afraid that their friends would be unhappy, but they went anyway, and so on.

please others, win a good reputation, gain a good card, but suffer yourself. When you are wronged to a certain extent and your emotions accumulate to an explosion, you want to get rid of yourself and even hate yourself. Please don't make yourself happy.

I'm afraid that others can't say it well and I'm afraid of taking responsibility, so I often choose to shift the responsibility to others, so I don't have to take responsibility myself if I listen to others' words. This is the psychology of many people. Listen to your own inner choices, but you are afraid that doing badly will make people hate or look down upon them. You don't want others to hate or look down upon them. In contrast, you would rather listen to others.

There was a girl born in 199s who just graduated from college and got married on a blind date. Every time she quarreled after marriage, she said, "Didn't you arrange it? I listened to you and didn't make my own decision. What else do you want?" She is afraid that her choice will be discussed by others, and there is always something unsatisfactory in marriage. She doesn't want to be accused of making a bad choice, so she shirks her responsibilities.

Escape psychology, which means not only escaping from responsibility but also from facing oneself. The more you dare to face yourself, the more you want to escape, which seems to be negative. But many times, because it can make you feel more relaxed psychologically, many people often choose to escape inadvertently.

No matter what kind of psychology you are out of, please or escape because you care too much about other people's comments, and you will be ignored and suppressed. In the long run, you will lose yourself, or you will hate yourself because of contradictory struggles. Once this kind of emotion has the upper hand, it will do great harm to body and mind.

To get rid of this emotion, you can try the following methods, gradually establish correct self-values, learn to judge and choose others' evaluations, and more importantly, have courage and determination. Step by step, don't worry.

I always feel disgusted and hate myself because I'm too timid to sayno. I clearly want to say no, but when I say it, it turns into "Yes". The more I say this, the more I hate myself, but I just can't change this.

It's not your own fault. Try to accept your kindness to the world. If you are really bored, you can say, "OK, but don't do it next time, okay?" Many good people just can't sayno. Hurting others is far more painful than hurting themselves, but they feel tired afterwards and feel unworthy. Repeated torture, it is better to change a way.

I still didn't say no this time, but I expressed my attitude. Help is not a blind compromise, and no one owes anyone. Therefore, we can accept ourselves or say, well, it doesn't matter, we have further expressed our vision. Whether to accept it or not is someone else's business. We have learned to let ourselves go.

Japan once set off a "parting" storage method that swept the world. At first, I just started cleaning up the house, which taught everyone how to clean up the house in order. "Breaking up" is not only to teach people to lose things, but more importantly, to clean up their emotions.

it hurts a little at first to throw away all those outdated, unnecessary and useless items, but it will be forgotten later. When you see a tidy home, you will feel good. Tidying up your mood is just like tidying up your things. Care about other people's comments, and let yourself fall into the tangled evil influence.

I don't like this dress very much, but I bought it at a high price. Maybe I will use it on some occasion next time. But this occasion has never come, and the clothes have become old, but they are reluctant to throw them away because of a little possibility. Throw it away! Don't occupy precious space with useless things.

If I do this, will others feel bad? If they feel bad, will they hate me, reject me and keep away from me? If I ask them for help in the future, will they refuse me? Repeatedly entangled, carefully maintained. Throw it away! Don't occupy our minds with emotions that don't help us grow up.

If you are willing to let go, what should you do if you leave your hands empty? No, that's not the case. Only when you let go can you free your hands and create more value. Carrying too much baggage will never go far, and carrying too much emotion will not make you strong.

How wonderful it would be if there were no other people's comments and everyone just did what they wanted. People are troubled by interpersonal relationships, people always influence their judgment because of other people's comments, and people like or hate themselves because of the quality of other people's comments.

Therefore, people can't escape the big net of interpersonal relationship. Since they can't escape, they must learn to face it. Escape is not the solution. Escaped the responsibility just to find a wallpaper for my heart, and when the real result comes, I can't hide. In the end, it will only hurt yourself deeper.

how can I be happy if I am hated? Everything is not perfect. You must know that it is impossible for everyone to like it. There are always people who hate themselves, more or less. We can tolerate one person who hates ourselves, why can't we tolerate 1?

Because I lack the courage to tolerate 1 or even 1 people who hate me. Courage is not as weak as imagined, and the instinct of survival gives human beings inherent courage. From birth, people have overcome the law and broken through many obstacles before they get the most precious life in the world.

In times of crisis, people can always overcome their inner obstacles and show courage to face difficulties and solve their sufferings. Therefore, don't underestimate your potential inner courage. Once you find the courage and taste the sweetness, you will eventually break the spell, break the net and get your own happiness.

what others say is always hovering in my mind, just like an abyss. Even if you have the courage, you may get a short period of peace by putting aside these thoughts. It may not be long before others say it again, and others say it again, gradually occupying the brain. Courage is the sword that gives us to cut off evil influence, but it can't replace happiness.

you still have to find your own happiness. Everyone's happiness is different, because happiness reflects your own value. Where does everyone's value reflect? It never depends on the guidance of others, but on your own feet.

at the age of 26, Mr. Lu Xun gave up medicine and joined literature, because he realized that medicine can save several lives, but literature can save countless souls. Where is the value? Some people once lamented that without an excellent doctor, I don't know how many lives would be lost. But Mr. Lu Xun knows his own value very well, and it is a higher realm to mold soul of china and an idea.

Maybe I don't have the knowledge and foresight of Mr. Lu Xun, but everyone has the value that they admire in their hearts. Value is not what others say, but what they seek. The search may not be so smooth, it doesn't matter, I just lack some necessary abilities.

It is not enough to improve your ability and achieve your goal by courage, but also by knowledge, skills and ability. Polish the knowledge, skills and abilities you need. When I concentrate on enriching myself, I also abandon the interference around me.

From accepting oneself to focusing on oneself, forming a powerful psychological mechanism, decisively abandoning the dross that drags you down, and taking courage, you can definitely stop being influenced by others, strengthen your own value, and finally you can definitely reap your own happiness.

In our life and work, we communicate with our family, friends, colleagues and even strangers. We judge the people around us, and the people around us judge us.

We sometimes judge the people around us according to our own judgment.

Of course, this is a two-way process, and it is inevitable to be evaluated by people around you.

why should we care about the evaluation of ourselves around us?

Because we are social animals, those evaluations are a basis for us to evaluate our position in the environment.

we will evaluate our position in the environment according to the evaluation from the surroundings, and then make corresponding adjustments.

so it's normal to care about other people's comments! ! !

But everything has two sides, so does evaluation!

Some comments are untrue, and some are even malicious! Such an evaluation is bound to seriously interfere with your own mentality. Seriously, it will hurt your heart!

So we should make a scientific screening of those evaluations in combination with our own cognition.

Don't pay attention to those comments that don't conform to yourself!

Those evaluations that do not conform to and interfere with yourself can be avoided appropriately!

We should respond resolutely to those malicious comments.

As for escaping from the so-called "bad mood".

mood comes from your reaction to things. If you want to improve that "mood", the key point is often not the "mood" itself, but the thing that makes you feel bad.

you have to make sure that you have an objective understanding of that thing! Then you can take corresponding countermeasures to make you escape from the "bad mood".

Or turn your energy away from the thing that makes you "in a bad mood", look at the scenery and listen to your favorite songs.

I hope it can help you.

This is actually a question of cognition. If you know yourself well and recognize it at the same time.