Joke Collection Website - Mood Talk - After seeing off her only son, Yaoyao, 29, has no relatives to rely on, but she is unwilling to get married.
After seeing off her only son, Yaoyao, 29, has no relatives to rely on, but she is unwilling to get married.
It is fitting to describe the love of Shang Guanyunzhu, a famous Shanghai movie star during the Republic of China.
In a sense, this sentence also applies to the love of Shang Guanyunzhu's daughter Yaoyao.
They, one depends on love to face reality; A person relies on love to escape from reality.
one
196 1 year, Yaoyao 17 years old.
17 years old, the same age as Hua, girls at this age often know nothing about feelings.
In the years of Jinse, "finding a heart and relying on it from now on" is something that many girls often fantasize about.
Yaoyao is one of them.
This year, she has grown into a big girl, not only as tall as her mother, but also inherited her face value, beautiful and petite.
However, Shang Guanyunzhu is very strict with Yaoyao. In addition to strict education, she will also interfere with Yaoyao's dress. For example, she will let Yaoyao wear the same homemade tights as herself to keep slim.
In Shang Guanyunzhu's view, as an actor, it is natural to pay attention to his own image. Moreover, Yaoyao is her daughter, so there should be no difference.
Therefore, in addition to asking Yaoyao to keep fit, Shang Guanyunzhu will also buy Yaoyao many luxurious clothes. In that era when men, women and children generally wore cloth shoes, Yaoyao wore a pair of leather shoes to school every day.
As soon as the students who didn't know her saw this dress, they consciously labeled her in their hearts: Miss Jiao.
As everyone knows, the so-called "Miss Jiao" is just a superficial "Jiao". Yaoyao looks glamorous, but she is just dressing herself up according to her mother's requirements, just like a doll.
But Yaoyao is really happy to put on beautiful clothes. In this way, she looks richer than the average classmate. Every time I think about this, Yaoyao's face is always filled with a smug smile, but she soon converges, because this ideology was not allowed at that time.
Plus, under Shang Guanyunzhu's beating and cursing, Yaoyao's little self-confidence arising from her appearance soon disappeared. It was her first love that was strangled in the cradle with this confidence.
At that time, China and the Soviet Union were committed to establishing friendly relations, and the only foreign film in the China film market was the Soviet film. So many students often go to the movies with three or two friends.
But some people still tend to take part in group activities and go with their classmates. It was at this time that Yaoyao secretly loved a boy in the class.
That boy is the son of a capitalist. "He is like a dude. He plays around in everything and doesn't get along with students who want to make progress. "
Of course, students who generally ask for progress will not mix with people like him and are easily influenced. But Yaoyao, who also pursues red progress, likes his small opening of "being born in poverty".
Unlike shy girls, Yaoyao is introverted, but does not procrastinate. After clearing her mind, she quickly wrote a letter to the boy.
Although Yaoyao only wrote in the letter that "she likes resurrection and invited him to watch Soviet movies", the boys still found the girlish feelings hidden between the lines. There is no obvious word "like", but there is obvious "ambiguity"
I don't know if it's because I don't like Yaoyao or because I'm afraid of violating the school rules. The boy gave the letter to the monitor, and the monitor gave the letter to the teacher who could give Yaoyao a fatal blow.
Soon, Yaoyao wrote letters to boys all over the school. Many people began to talk about her behind her back, saying, "Yaoyao is a relatively light girl and often acts casually with her male classmates. When she is happy, she will hug others from behind. That's how she behaves. "
Knowing that his letter was exposed, Yaoyao was ashamed and angry. She refused to go to school again, and stayed at home for two days in a row, hiding in the quilt and crying.
I don't know if she is crying that her teenage heart is open or her mother is indifferent.
After learning this from the teacher, Shang Guanyunzhu was very angry. When he got home, he scolded Yaoyao while eating. Yaoyao was afraid of her mother since she was a child, and she didn't go to eat at that time. She has been standing behind Shang Guanyunzhu, gently fanning her.
When the fan went up and down, the wind blew gently, as if to calm Shang Guanyunzhu's anger. But Shang Guanyunzhu doesn't get angry that easily. When she scolded her badly, she turned and slapped Yaoyao in the face. It seems that only in this way can she get angry.
As for Yaoyao, she didn't cry when she was beaten, and her expression didn't change at all. "Don't say anything, no one will look, and then slap his mother, one after another."
As the saying goes, at the same age as flowers, you should have been to the day when flowers bloom. Yaoyao is in the flower season at this time, but at that time she had no freedom and could not "bloom" under the shadow of her mother and the oppression of society. She can't like someone aboveboard, and she can't live as she pleases.
But at her age, Shang Guanyunzhu can talk about "like" at will.
It is precisely because of this that Yaoyao's classmates will say, "Her mother is more casual in life."
two
1936, Shang Guanyunzhu, formerly known as Wei Juntu, dropped out of school and married a rich boy named Zhang Dayan.
At this time, Shang Guanyunzhu was only 16 years old, which was 1 year younger than Yao Yao's first crush on boys. Moreover, at that time, she had a child.
As we all know, in those days, it was a big violation to get pregnant before marriage, and people would scold you if you said it. And people will only scold girls, saying they are disorderly and immoral.
Fortunately, Zhang Dayan really likes Shang Guanyunzhu. In order not to let her become the talk of the villagers, he insisted on marrying Shang Guanyunzhu and going home, regardless of his parents' opposition.
In this way, Shang Guanyunzhu walked out of poverty and lived a rich family life.
However, the Zhang family didn't like her from beginning to end. In their view, Shang Guanyunzhu is a bad woman and an "apple polisher". Even if she gave birth to Zhang Qijian, the son of the Zhang family, it would not change the Zhang family's dislike for her.
And her feelings with Zhang Dayan gradually faded in time. However, the real reason for their emotional breakdown lies in the change of Shang Guanyunzhu's thought.
Under the influence of War of Resistance against Japanese Aggression, Shang Guanyunzhu, who originally wanted to be a good wife and mother, had to change her life plan. She can no longer be a housewife and has to go out to make a living to lighten Zhang Dayan's burden.
So, with her beauty, Shang Guanyunzhu finally stepped into the film circle. At the age of 2/kloc-0, she became famous overnight and became a household name in Shanghai.
Zhang Dayan is not happy about this. He just doesn't want his wife to show up outside. But Shang Guanyunzhu has been exposed to the outside world. She just wants to go higher and further, and she doesn't want to go back to the way she was.
Slowly, there are more and more contradictions between them, but less and less communication. 1943, Shang Guanyunzhu divorced Zhang Dayan, and Zhang Qijian was raised by Zhang Dayan.
Shortly after returning to being single, Shang Guanyunzhu fell in love with Yao Ke, a talented person in Shanghai drama, that is, Yaoyao's father.
As a matter of fact, Shang Guanyunzhu knew Yao Ke long before the divorce, when they both had families. Maybe, at that time, they had looked into each other's eyes, otherwise Shang Guanyunzhu wouldn't be with Yao Ke as soon as she got divorced.
But there are no families in Shang Guanyunzhu, but there are still families in Yao Ke. At that time, he was still with his American wife. Shang Guanyunzhu knows this, but she doesn't mind, because she knows that Yao Ke will get a divorce.
Indeed, as Shang Guanyunzhu thought, Yao Ke divorced his wife quickly and married her in Beijing on 1944.
For this marriage, some people say that Shang Guanyunzhu wants to marry Yao Ke, but Yao Ke's "resources". As a well-known figure in Shanghai Opera, most of Yao Ke's acquaintances are celebrities and nobles, as well as celebrities from all walks of life, such as the great writer Lu Xun, who are all in Yao Ke's circle of friends.
Facts have proved that with the help of Yao Ke, Shang Guanyunzhu's career has indeed become more and more smooth. And as Mrs. Yao, she is a member of the upper class and can be on an equal footing with many celebrities.
It can be said that Yao Ke brought Shang Guanyunzhu to the top of the "ivory tower". However, this so-called "ivory tower" is not the ivory tower mentioned in the Bible. Because this is not a perfect place, if Shang Guanyunzhu doesn't continue to struggle, she will be trampled and go back to the bottom.
Therefore, after giving birth to Yaoyao, Shang Guanyunzhu didn't have much time to spend with her children. She is often away from home, often rehearsing until midnight and leaving early the next morning. Yao Ke is actually not satisfied with this. He hopes that Shang Guanyunzhu can take Yaoyao at home, or at least take the children to the age of five before going back to work.
But Shang Guanyunzhu is no longer Wei Junti. She doesn't want to be a good wife and mother anymore. She just wants to act and continue to show her beauty on the screen.
Therefore, Shang Guanyunzhu concentrated his life on acting. But sometimes, being too enterprising is not a good thing. With more and more rehearsals, Shang Guanyunzhu completely ignored his family and Yao Ke.
On 1946, Yao Ke cheated. After learning this, Shang Guanyunzhu decided to divorce, regardless of the old feelings and Yaoyao's feelings.
Perhaps it is because she is too decisive. Some people say that Shang Guanyunzhu only regards Yao Ke as a springboard for her career. When she runs out of resources and gains benefits, she no longer needs to maintain the relationship between husband and wife.
But this statement is not entirely correct. After all, after learning that her husband was cheating, Shang Guanyunzhu's first reaction was to cry and make a scene. If she doesn't love, she doesn't need to cry for an insignificant man at all.
Just because she let go smartly doesn't mean she doesn't love it.
However, her love is more or less utilitarian.
three
This is the evaluation of her peers in Shang Guanyunzhu. At that time, everyone in the entertainment circle knew Shang Guanyunzhu's shrewdness. Later, some even said that Shang Guanyunzhu was a "calculating" woman.
Because, Shang Guanyunzhu's career peak is brought to her by men every time.
Since his divorce from Yao Ke, Shang Guanyunzhu's career has been at a low ebb. However, soon, she stood in front of the public again. This time, it was the actress Blue Horse who sent her to the top.
They fell in love after working together on a play. Under the recommendation of Blue Horse, Shang Guanyunzhu got a lot of movie resources one after another.
But in the end, their relationship only lasted three or four years.
It is said that they broke up because they met Cheng, the manager of Lanxin Grand Theatre. Cheng is from high flyers, yenching university. He is steady and elegant. In Shang Guanyunzhu's view, he is simply the best person to get married.
Therefore, Blue Horse withdrew from the world of Shang Guanyunzhu. He knew that Shang Guanyunzhu would not stay for him, and she would only run to someone who was more capable and able to help herself.
195 1 year, married Cheng. At that time, Shang Guanyunzhu's career reached the peak of her life. She not only became an actress in Shanghai Film Studio, but also acted in and voiced several feature films.
It can be said that those years were the most prosperous period in Shang Guanyunzhu.
However, happy times are always short-lived.
1952, the "three evils" movement was launched nationwide, and Cheng was suspected of misappropriating theater funds. In order to gain freedom, after being interrogated many times, Cheng vaguely labeled himself as a "corrupt element".
After learning about this, she became angry from embarrassment and cursed Cheng for ruining not only her reputation, but also her future. At that time, Shang Guanyunzhu was working hard for the rating of actors, but her husband was a corrupt element, and her efforts were in vain.
So, disappointed with Cheng, he chose to divorce again. She doesn't want to be influenced by men. As we all know, one day in the future, Cheng has been rehabilitated and the future is still bright.
But Shang Guanyunzhu is not God. She can't predict the future. All she knows is that the red progress she pursues can't be destroyed by Cheng. Therefore, she doesn't want to spend the storm with Cheng.
1953, the two divorced and their son returned to Shu Yao to raise him. Yaoyao continued to follow her and watched her world go in and out one by one.
In Yaoyao's small perspective, she has seen her father being driven out of the house; Uncle Blue Horse, who had eaten several times together, suddenly disappeared. I have seen my favorite father, Cheng, slapped by his mother and kicked out of the house. I've seen the actor uncle who came to his house and then disappeared and went in and out with his mother again.
The actor's uncle is He Lv, the last man in Shang Guanyunzhu's life.
Different from the past, what He Lu brought to Shang Guanyunzhu was not benefit, but punishment. Shang Guanyunzhu was banned for five years for having an affair with He Lv.
Many people are skeptical about this. They don't understand why Shang Guanyunzhu chose He Lv with the most mediocre talent and the most average career. Besides, He Lv and she are not husband and wife. However, he has been with Shang Guanyunzhu for the longest time.
So think about it, Shang Guanyunzhu is not only pursuing utility, she has been struggling for most of her life. She also needs a resting place. And He Lu happens to be her "refuge". Although he hasn't achieved much, he can't give Shang Guanyunzhu any benefits, but he can give Shang Guanyunzhu a peace of mind.
Perhaps, when he was young, Shang Guanyunzhu only cared about acting. But when people reach middle age, they just want to be stable.
Miraculously, Yaoyao, who has seen her mother's love story, has not been affected at all.
She has always been fearless about love.
four
Unlike Shang Guanyunzhu, Yaoyao's love is pure and simple, without any utilitarian mentality.
Although the first secret love ended in failure, Yaoyao still had expectations for love. However, her expectations will always fail, and her love will always have no result.
In the 1960s, Yaoyao first came into contact with people under the introduction of others. The other party is an engineer who studies warships. Perhaps because of his excellent work, Shang Guanyunzhu was very satisfied with him.
But Yaoyao's family background has an influence on each other's work. "People who were born with problems at that time hit a wall everywhere." Yaoyao's background is too complicated. If the engineer keeps in touch with her, he will lose his job.
So Yaoyao took the initiative to disconnect from him. She didn't want others to get hurt because of herself, so she took all the pain on herself. After "digesting" the pain, she continued to face life optimistically and actively waited for the next love.
In a sense, Yaoyao seems to be living in the wrong era. After all, the ideology at that time was the spring of abstinence. However, Yaoyao has not been affected by such an environment.
She is like a moth, burning with the flame of love. Even if the next second will be shattered, she still does not hesitate.
1967, 23-year-old Yaoyao fell in love with her classmate Yan Kai, who is two years younger than herself. Yaoyao's classmates are puzzled by their love affair. After all, one is Miss Jiao from Shanghai and the other is a man from Shandong.
Besides, Yan Kai grew up in a standard revolutionary family, which is totally different from Yaoyao's background. Therefore, at that time, there was also a saying in the school that "Yaoyao sold herself to take refuge".
But in fact, even if life falls to the bottom, Yaoyao will not sacrifice her love.
She is serious about love.
Yaoyao's classmate Zhong Wan witnessed their love affair with her own eyes. She said, "They really loved each other. It was a rare love at that time. Yan Kai is a man who can't hide a little thing. He always picks up Yao and turns around at once. Their faces are happy. They are really crazy. "
Under the ideology of soft and scarce human nature, it is really rare to have such a beautiful campus love. The two of them seem to have brought each other into a utopian world, forgotten the vigorous revolution outside and only watched each other alive.
Unfortunately, the utopian world does not exist. They love things and forget them, so they have to return to reality. They had to accept the fact that professors in schools kept dying in isolation rooms, and they had to admit that China was indeed in a turbulent reality at that time.
Yaoyao later had to face the reality that her mother and lover committed suicide.
1On October 23rd, Shang Guanyunzhu jumped from his home. 1March, 970, Yan Jie cut off the pulse with a razor.
In two years, two beloved people have left themselves. How broken should Yaoyao's heart be?
Perhaps, some people will think that under the social background at that time, Yaoyao was not qualified to be happy and to talk about the relationship between men and women. But the reality is too depressing. Yaoyao is also a person. She needs to vent and a haven to escape from reality.
As Yaoyao's younger brother said, "There must be a place to escape from the chaotic reality and the conflict between right and wrong, and from his painful family experience." Young people's optimistic nature, the demand for love, naturally, they want to escape to happiness and love. "
But my mother died, my lover died, and Yaoyao's world collapsed in half.
Hair turns white, but love stays in my heart.
However, time has not completely cured Yaoyao's inner pain, and she will still look for that tall shadow from time to time.
five
197 1 year, Yaoyao is 27 years old. "He lost his father and mother, no home, no lover, no graduation and no job."
At the same time, she is also a brave person. This is especially true in love.
Watching her mother's marriage fail again and again, Yaoyao can still maintain her yearning for love; Looking at her emotional failures again and again, as well as Yan Kai's death and suicide, she still has no fear.
On the contrary, she once again fell in love with Cheng's girlfriend's son, who looks like Kai Kai.
Zhang Xiaoxiao, Yaoyao's neighbor, once described it as follows: "Although they look alike, they are better at driving than Yan Jie. It is gentler and as tall, not as wild as Yan Kai. "
However, their love has not been blessed by the people around them.
Cheng flew into a rage when he learned that they were together. The giant panda didn't even graduate from high school, and Yaoyao was ten years younger. In his view, the two were incest.
In order to let Yaoyao break up with Kaikai, Cheng also dragged Yaoyao to the place where she jumped off the building and asked her to swear to her dead mother that she would never associate with Kaikai again.
However, Yaoyao refused. She refused to swear, lowered her head, looked at the place where her mother jumped, and kept crying. From then on, she never went to the therapist again, and their "father and daughter" seemed to break up at this time.
Perhaps, from that moment on, Yaoyao was "really unaccompanied and helpless."
She refused cheng and set foot on a thorny road alone.
1972 65438+On February 7th, Vagrancy's Shanghai Conservatory of Music began to distribute graduates. Before distribution, everyone should take part in the school physical examination. It was then that Yaoyao was found to be pregnant for more than seven months.
At that time, if a girl got pregnant before marriage, there was only one ending-ruined and unable to be a person.
Yaoyao's classmates started looking for her after learning about this, fearing that she would be unhappy. But the fact is that Yaoyao eloped with Kay on the second day of physical examination.
Kay's biological mother is in new york. She helped Yaoyao find Yao Ke, whose biological father is a visiting professor. Therefore, Panda Kai and Yaoyao intend to escape from Hong Kong to the United States. One is looking for his mother and the other is looking for his father. They think so, but the reality is not that easy.
On the night of his escape, Kaikai thought of exploring the road first, then broke up with Yaoyao at the bus stop and agreed to meet at the hotel the next day. But Yaoyao didn't wait to open it. She waited alone for several days and finally had to go to the public security bureau to find someone to report the case.
12 On February 29th, Yaoyao and others came to the school and were captured by the propaganda team. Later, she learned that the giant panda Kaikai had been arrested by the Public Security Bureau on the charge of defecting from abroad, and there was no future from then on.
And Yaoyao's affair no longer boils down to a life problem, but a political problem. At that time, people who wanted to sneak into the United States would be sentenced to "current counter-revolution" imprisonment. This is the meaning of driving.
This is why Yaoyao was in a daze all day and said to himself, "It's all my fault, it's all my fault, I hurt him."
But that's the way it is. It is impossible to tell who is right and who is wrong.
197365438+1October 17, Yaoyao gave birth to a baby boy.
Asked about the situation at that time, the doctor who delivered Yaoyao said, "She looks calm and tough, and she can't see any difference from others."
Even in the process of production, "she didn't complain about the pain and was very quiet."
Perhaps this is the strength of Yaoyao. Like Shang Guanyunzhu, she won't show weakness in front of others.
But how lonely should a child be? How sad should I be? Ordinary people can imagine. But Yaoyao can hide her emotions and talk and laugh in the ward. It was not until the evening that she dared to "cry under the quilt".
The night she cried was the day she sent the child away.
I have never fed or held a child, and Yaoyao has never even given a child. She covered up her disappointment with indifference and pushed the child out of her world by herself.
After signing the guarantee of "no return of children", Yaoyao was discharged from the hospital alone, leaving only one sentence for the bed next door: "I'm leaving, goodbye."
No one took her home, because she had no home, no relatives or even a lover. The only thing closest to her is the child.
Some people think Yaoyao is too cruel to send his son away. But this is not the case. Yaoyao has never been an indifferent person. She also wanted to send him back to Jia Kai, but Jia Kai's family didn't agree.
At that time, Kay's father went to see Yaoyao, and Yaoyao also begged him to take in the children. However, the father who opened the panda refused without thinking, saying that the child might not be open, and even if it was open, it could not be raised because it had "no position in society"
Perhaps it is this sentence that broke Yaoyao's desire to keep the children. If the child is with her, he can't live a normal life. It is good for him to give it to others.
Later, Yaoyao's relatives and friends began to find someone for Yaoyao. They all think it is better to let Yaoyao "find someone to marry first." But Yaoyao's background is not valued. Even if someone likes it, Yaoyao doesn't like it herself.
Under the introduction of Cheng's remarried wife, Yaoyao met Cheng Yuxian, the eldest son of Cheng Yuanfang's relatives. Yaoyao once said to a friend, "That person is very sincere and kind to her."
However, Yaoyao only hopes that he is his brother. In her opinion, "she is different from him, and she can't fall in love with him." She has tried, but she can't fall in love with this person. "
Even if Cheng Yuxian is willing to help her find a child, she is willing to accept that Yaoyao is not perfect. But she still wouldn't. She can't stand a marriage without love.
When Cheng Yuxian said that she would help her raise the child, Yaoyao cried, not quietly sobbing, but crying earth-shattering.
At that time, Yaoyao wanted to cry all his pain? Still crying that Cheng Yuxian said that he would not send the child away easily?
Whether it is the former or the latter, it is a sad thing that Yaoyao dare not touch. But after she wrote to Cheng Yuxian, she said her situation bluntly:
At that time, many aunts and young ladies would choose to marry reliable people to get rid of the unbearable background. There are still many people with complicated backgrounds like Yaoyao. But few people think of each other like Yaoyao.
Moreover, almost no one takes love as seriously as Yaoyao.
Unlike her mother Shang Guanyunzhu, she never mixed any impurities in her feelings. But she is too serious and will only suffer herself.
But this is the real Yaoyao, simple and pure.
Wen | Time-shifting
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