The funniest talk about the complete works

Now many people like to read funny stories, so do you know which ones are the funniest? The following is the funniest story I compiled for you. I hope you like it!

The funniest conversation about humor.

1. If my sister goes crazy one day, please tell others that my sister is a lady.

2. Looking at beautiful women in the street, a little higher is appreciation? Any lower is a hooligan.

Boss, do you have any coke? Can I have a bottle of Sprite?

I can't sing out of tune, I just like to sing my own songs.

Everyone who likes to sleep late has a lover who can't give up. His name is bed.

6. Mix and match is our business. Then don't worry, don't compare behind your back.

7. Love is like a joke. It kills others and hurts itself.

8. When we were young, we were princesses. When we grow up, we will be used to princess disease by our relatives and friends.

9. Mosquito, when will you evolve to suck fat instead of blood?

10. If I die, don't forget to install an air conditioner in my coffin.

1 1. When I was a child, my biggest dream was to find a toilet. The most terrible thing is that people don't wake up and find the toilet.

12. Zhao Wei said that good-looking people have youth; Guo's novel is wrong. Only the rich have youth.

13. The alarm clock only woke up my shell, but it couldn't wake up my sleeping heart.

14. I think it is a hooligan's behavior for a girl to say that she is cold when she is alone.

15. Not all men and women are equal. Why can't I go to the ladies' room?

16. I'm not afraid to kick you. I'm just afraid that Nike on my feet will get dirty.

17. Ask what love is in the world, just ask people to take off their clothes and pants. Yidian market network

18. There are many ways to end friendship, and the most thorough way is to borrow money and not pay it back.

The funniest conversation about selected articles

1. On the way to register, I saw a school in the distance. Boom! It's gone. I hope so.

2. Man: "I have always loved you!" Woman: "What about when you are not straight?"

3. Being in a daze, well done, is called deep. If you can't do it well, you are likely to fall asleep.

The exam is really easy, so I won't go anywhere.

For the sake of the next generation of the motherland, no matter how ugly, we should fall in love and talk about a world full of love.

6.a just world is needed, and the world has words. Yours is mine and mine is mine.

7. if I die, my first sentence is: "employers and employees finally don't have to be afraid of ghosts!"

8. All those who have daughters-in-law are stable, and Laozi will start to shake WeChat.

9. Happiness is dead. He married loneliness as a companion, and then he had a child named Memory.

10. The current efforts are all for the cow B that was blown when I was a child.

1 1. The exam is not about falling in love, please don't flirt; The exam is not DOTA, please don't work as a team.

12. The happiest thing is to lie on my desk and wait for class to end, and wake up after school.

14. Exams are like getting sick. Depression before the exam, amnesia during the exam. After the exam, my state began to improve. I had a heart attack when I got the newspaper back.

15. It is better to talk about QQ for half a year after learning Chinese for three years.

16. When I was a child, I was most afraid of teachers, parents and classmates saying "I'll sue the teacher" at school.

17. The teacher said: The senior high school entrance examination is coming, so don't fall in love and quarrel early, so as not to affect your mood; Don't confess without puppy love, lest you be rejected and affect your mood.

18. After the exam, the eugenics will say, "Lying in the trough, another mistake! Poor students will say, "Emma, one more!"

19. There is a kind of fill-in-the-blank question called complete ignorance, a kind of multiple-choice question called looking to the right, a kind of calculation question called crying while doing, and an application question called falling apart.

20. I saw a question when the exam collapsed, vaguely remembering what the teacher said, but clearly remembering that I didn't listen at that time.

2 1. I just got excited about the exam and wrote the exam number as QQ number.

The funniest talk about classic articles.

1. Xueba's performance, the goddess' selfie, the local tyrant's money, the model's figure, Lao Tzu's grandson!

2. Tomorrow after tomorrow, how many tomorrows are there! Since there are so many, we might as well postpone it again.

The most exclusive thing in the world is homework. No matter how you ignore it, it will still follow you.

I don't know Wu Bai, but I know his brother.

I picked up a bundle of celery in the street today. Think about it. You have to buy meat if you have celery. If you buy meat, you have to have a kitchen. If you have a kitchen, you have to have a daughter-in-law to stuff it. If you have a daughter-in-law, you must have a mother-in-law. If you want to marry her girl, she has to make an offer, a house, money and a car. Think about it carefully and throw away the celery quickly. It's so scary.

6. "What can make you put down your dignity and humble yourself?" "Want an answer."

7. Now boys are so bad, whiter than girls, taller than girls, more beautiful than girls, and compete with girls for boyfriends!

8. "Do you have a separate group?" "Nonsense!" "Who is it!" "My equipment"

My girlfriend's name is Zhu Jing. I took my girlfriend back to my hometown in the countryside for the first time. As soon as I came in, I said, Mom, Zhu Jing is here. Mother listened and said: The pig came in and just drove it out!

10. "What is the widest in the world?" "The scope of the exam."

1 1. Now girls are really. The purpose of boys' talking is to make you bow your head shyly, not to tell them a more yellow one. Please respect the profession of hooligans!

12. The prescription for all school phobia patients: 2 1 day in September, 0/9 days in June, 0/0/0 days in June and 0/9 days in February.

13. Learning to bully during the exam is like Wifi, and people within 0/0 meter of Fiona Fang/kloc are asking for passwords.

14. "Why can't 520 be divisible by 3?" "Because love can't control mistress?" "Wrong, because a small three points can't be divided."

15. Dysmenorrhea is like dazzling chewing gum, full of pain, arrogant for a long time, and more importantly, it can't stop!

16. A junior high school student's English is very poor and was severely beaten by the teacher in an English exam. The reason is this. The composition requirement is to tell Xiao Ming that he was hit by a car and sent to the hospital. His text reads: Xiaoming Road Shangbei Chezhuang, 120 Woo-hoo. The English teacher patted him on the head when he picked up the book. I call you whoa whoa whoa!

17.iPhone has become thinner, iPad has become thinner, Hushubao has become thinner, and even Oreo has become thinner. Why don't you get thinner?

18. "What's the cruelest lyric you've ever heard" and "Striking your heart and mine" are the latest fashion trends.

19. I've always heard people say how cool it is to have a room. Finally, one day I couldn't help getting a room. It's really cool to sleep alone in such a big bed!

20. "Teacher, I want to shit." "Xiao Ming, please use civilized language." "Hello, teacher, my ass wants to vomit."

2 1. Uplink: Telephone fee, toll fee and broadband fee should be paid; Downstream: meal card, water card, bus card, Kaka, etc. Horizontal approval: breaking the money at the beginning of school.

22. A friend said, "I have worked hard to copy every exam for more than ten years. For what, for myself? " Not only to improve the average class score, but also to save face for the teacher, to evaluate the grade director first, and to save face for the principal to go to the Education Bureau for a meeting. I feel scared and sweaty every time I copy it. Did I mention complaining? ! "

23. I finally understand why the military training should be turned around, because only in this way can the sun be more uniform.

24. "Do you think it's okay to have an abortion three times a month?" "Your girlfriend? ! ""no. This is my bike. "

25. There are only two kinds of women who show off their wealth. One is that the person who sleeps with her is awesome, and the other is that the person who sleeps with her mother is awesome.

26. There are many swindlers now, so be careful when you go out. Today, a man in the street said it was extremely hot. I followed him for three blocks, and he didn't die.

27. "What will make you ugly?" "lotus root" and "why?" "Because, chi? Ou Chou! ! ! ""get out! "

28. If today's girls are walking in the ancient streets, dragged back by the emperor to wait on the bedroom and washed their faces at night, will they be convicted of bullying the monarch and so on?

29. "Describe your boyfriend in two words." "Where is it?"

30. Grandma Liu asked Grandma Niu to buy milk, and Grandma Niu gave it to Grandma Liu. Grandma Liu said that grandma Niu's milk is not as good as grandma Liu's, and grandma Liu said that grandma Liu's milk will flow. Grandma Liu heard that only grandma Liu and grandma Niu spilled their milk, which scared grandma Liu and grandma Niu to curse and never buy grandma Liu and grandma Niu's milk again.

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