Talk about it uglily

She was lying on the table and jokingly asked her deskmate, "Hey, do you have someone you like?" He glanced at her and said faintly, "Yes." She was very upset, but she pretended to be indifferent and asked, "Who is it?" "In our class, guess." She read out the names of all the girls in the class, but he shook his head. She asked, "Why did you shake your head when you finished reading?" He chuckled. "Fool, are you sure you've finished reading it all?" Hearing this, the girl froze for a while, turned her head shyly and didn't speak again. Then he fell in her ear and whispered, "Actually, I like … the head teacher."

A friend's birthday, go to KTV after dinner. Her child took the microphone affectionately and said, Mom, today is your birthday, and I want to send you a song! I touched my friend ... As a result, the music started and Joker Xue's "ugly" friend smashed it with his wallet! This Xiong Haizi paper is really fun. ...

Son, as an experienced person, I remind you that the ratio of male to female is 1: 50 ~ 100. No matter how ugly it is, it won't be single dog. Female students study mechanical engineering, and the ratio of male to female is 50 ~ 100: 1. No matter how fat you are, it is rare and pitiful!

The husband said yes again and again, and finally added: "From now on, if you curse again, I will beat you flat!" " "

I took the bus today and sat next to my sister's paper. While she was mending her makeup, the driver suddenly braked and lipstick got stuck in her mouth. In this unguarded emergency, my sister took the lipstick out of her mouth and it was actually intact. ...

I have an ex-girlfriend who fell in love with someone else and then dumped me, and now she wants to make up with me. I asked her what to do with your boyfriend, and she told me he would find something better. I replied, why should I give him something better? I still want it. Fuck off. Then I hung up.

Raise a son. It's similar to playing games. You set up an account, give it a name, and then start upgrading, and keep throwing money. Throw money. Throw money. Year by year, I have been promoted to a higher level, and my equipment is amazing, but my daughter-in-law has stolen it. Raising a daughter is like planting a rare and famous flower. You are careful and meticulous. Sunny days are afraid of the sun, rainy days are afraid of rain. You are afraid of the heat in summer and the cold in winter. Your heart is broken and your eyes hurt. It was amazing to bloom once, but a man who claimed to be your son-in-law took the whole pot.

Today, my brother actually confessed to me and wanted me to be his girlfriend. As a good sister, how can I let him go astray? I can only politely refuse him: sorry, my sister already has a boyfriend ... before I finished, he shouted: You are really in love! If you don't help me with my homework, I'll tell my parents!

Just got a call, "Hello, instant noodles, right? I paused, thinking it was a prank, and then replied, "I'm not, I'm a ham sausage!" "Then hang up the phone! It took me a long time to figure it out. She seemed to say, "Hello, is it convenient for an interview? "I finally found a job, and now I'm finished!

A female colleague, usually special 2. Everyone likes to play with her. On this day of work, I walked into the office happily and couldn't wait to show off my new mobile phone. Forget this. When I went to work the next day, I entered the office in a daze. The director asked him: What's the matter? Do you think you are in the wrong state? Colleague said: I bought a new mobile phone yesterday. I downloaded a weighing software at night. After the download was successfully installed, I put my mobile phone on the ground and stepped on it ... no one in the office could hold back from laughing.

I walked into a mobile phone repair shop. The maintenance master said, "What can I do for you?" I took out my mobile phone and said, "Look, Master, my mobile phone screen has been shaking badly these two days. Can it still be repaired? " The master looked at his mobile phone, then at me and said, "Can't you put on more clothes when the fucking weather is cold?"? ! "

Whether you are single or not, you should listen to these suggestions!

If you are a single woman, please remember:

1. Don't fool around with a man who is not single, even if he once liked you. You know, you are nothing to him, at least for now.

2. Don't send short messages to those who can't reply to your messages or barely reply, so as to look like an idle person.

Don't tell your sisters that a man is good or bad, because he is not yours and has nothing to do with you. Maybe the sisters barely responded in front of you, but in fact they have put you in the bitch pile.

4. Don't confuse people who are interested in you but rejected by you. Are you so lonely and short of men?

5, don't always tell people that you are lonely, envy others in pairs, just like suggesting others, and vice versa, hanging around in nightclubs, thinking that you are a social butterfly.

6. Spend more time with your family when you are free. If you are really idle, chat with your best friend and catch up with the past, of course, when you don't disturb each other's normal life.

7. Don't bother that man before, even if he comes to harass you voluntarily, because he has nothing to do with you. Why deceive yourself? !

If you are a woman but not single, please remember:

1, do what girlfriends or wives should do, don't mess with crazy roots all day, think more about the person next to you.

2. I don't know that shopping costs men's money, but I have a small family and work or study in my heart. You know, you don't exist to be a burden and a burden.

3, don't patronize nightclubs, dress so sexy to attract others' attention in the street, after all, you don't need to bid farewell to singles by this.

4, cut off all the people who should be cut off, delete those ambiguous guys, and don't make yourself look like you don't keep your duty.

5. Pay more attention to your elders and each other's elders. After all, this is a problem that you must face in the next few decades, unless you have a playful attitude.

6, don't think that men are fools, in fact, they don't say it on the surface, but they all know your psychological tricks, just don't care about you.

7. Keep a certain distance from your husband or boyfriend's friends, especially the opposite sex. Always let others think that you are his woman. You can't provoke, you are also a woman who will never provoke others.

8. Men need face. Try to give your man space and confidence in front of outsiders and face, and let him feel that you respect him.

If you are a single man, please remember:

1, don't just hang out in nightclubs. Good women don't often go to nightclubs.

2, don't just hook up with a few women, thinking that you are very attractive, in fact, outsiders think that you are unwilling to be lonely.

3, stay away from the object that the buddy likes, try to make yourself transparent, nothing is actually a crime.

Don't fool around with the little girl at work or school unless you are serious about her.

Don't drink and chat with your buddies all day. Few girls like this man.

6. Look at beautiful women without drooling. It's just infatuation!

7. When you have time to do your own thing, a big man thinks about what a girl is without knowing his career first.

8. Don't say you like people just because you see beautiful girls. Can your love be valuable?

If you are a man, but you are not single, well, please remember:

1. To do what men should do, you should know that your identity is the pillar, and what women need is a sense of security.

2. Don't tangle with other girls, even your ex-wife, and don't say anything guilty. Gentlemen, it's time to break.

3, handle the relationship between colleagues in the unit, no serious man will have an affair.

4, know what your woman needs, not money can fix everything, have time to spend more time with others, and chat with people.

5. Delete all original girls who are not 46. You have nothing to do with them, and you will always do so.

6. Don't just look at the girls on the street. Although everyone has a love of beauty, others seem to be making excuses for their derailment.

7. Keep a certain distance from your woman's best friend, and don't tell your woman what one of her best friends is like. I have nothing to do with you. Don't always think that this is called getting on well with your woman's friends. After all, it is your woman's sister who makes you miss others.

8. If a woman needs a sense of security, she will live up to her expectations. Responsibility and self-motivation are crucial.

9, women also need face, talk less in front of outsiders, let others feel that their women have been protected by themselves, let others deeply feel that you are her man, she is your woman, irreplaceable, either side.

Tell me about single dog. single dog is very funny.

Suitable for single dog Talk/Friends Circle single dog Talk Daquan

1. The other party refused your dog food and kicked over your dog bowl.

2. In a group of student parties, there is always a God-like single dog who can answer all love questions.

3. Dogs have been gone for a long time since they lived to your age. You should be a single turtle.

As single dog, only static electricity crackles with me in winter.

Like a cat in an old alley, I am free, but I have no home. It's the first time I heard someone say that being single is so fresh and refined.

6. Don't let single dog go out in winter. If you fall, it will turn into ice and ice!

7. It's not that easy to show love. single dog has the temper of Ta.

In retrospect, time has changed a lot, but it can't change the fact that you are single dog.

9. To ask what Valentine's Day is in the world is to kill single dog.

10. Don't always belong to single dog and single dog. You should be a single turtle by age, a single pig by size and a single fool by IQ.

1 1. Don't say you are lonely and energetic, but you are single dog.

12. Do you want to keep a dog at home? The single kind!

13. The boat of friendship will turn over when it is said, and the boat of love will sink when it is said. Only single dog's boat can stand.

14. The moon under the sea is the moon in the sky, but the person in front of me is single dog.

15. Don't ask me if I am single dog in the future. It is illegal for us immortals to fall in love with mortals! Lying in the trough, now single dog can evolve into a growling dog?

16. I am no longer single dog this summer. Please call me hot dog. Interesting. Tell me about Daquan.

17. Everyone says I'm single. Hehe, that's funny. Isn't everyone the same? Are you body double?

18. After military training, you are not single dog, but an excellent military dog.

19. Do you like having a dog? I like it! My family has a dog, and my parents dislike it, so I want to give it to you. Is it okay? What dog? I'm single dog.

Funny jokes about single dog/single dog.

1. Stop calling yourself single dog. At your age, the dog is old and dead.

We agreed to be single dog together, but you secretly teased the cat.

You should walk more when you are young. Walk more, and you will find that the whole world is lovers, and you are the only one in single dog.

4. In such a cold day, single dog may be upgraded to tears and ice and snow.

5. The single boy's name is single dog. Do you have a description of single girls? A teenager who has been single for 20 years replied: the dog ignores it.

6. If you don't want to be a single dog to show your love to others on Valentine's Day, you should take the initiative to tell Lao Zi.

7. Teach you the most effective way to get out of single dog and be my wife.

8. Being single dog's younger brother is not easy. When necessary, you should be a brother, a guest boyfriend and, of course, a grandson at most.

9. Being single for a long time makes you feel good looking at dogs. Not to mention unscrewing the bottle cap, the fire hydrant can be unscrewed.

10. Some people say that the second half-price advertisement hurts single dog. That's your single dog business. It's just right for us to eat two per pig.

1 1. Don't ask me for emotional advice. I'm single dog. I only suggest breaking up.

12. When I was a child, I was called a turtle grandson by my grandmother and a rabbit by Ma Ma. When I grew up, I was called single dog by others. On the animal history of a person's life.

13. I finally ended my single life for half a year, and now I have to start the second half of the year.

14. Teacher: Pets are not allowed in school! Classmate: What about single dog? Teacher: No, no! Classmate: Let's go home. The school doesn't want us

Single dog's Talk/single dog's Classic Sentences

1. Since my mother knew the word single dog, she has forgotten my name.

We agreed to be single dog together, but you secretly made a boyfriend.

I am single because fairies can't fall in love with mortals, which will break the dogma.

I've been single for a long time, let alone unscrewing the bottle cap. I can unscrew the fire hydrant.

Don't worry about single girls, maybe God is thinking: I want to leave a special person for this lovely girl.

Being single may mean being a hero in your own eyes and being a woman in others' eyes.

7. My main composition: 2% cute +98% single.

8. After falling in love with you, I changed from carefree single dog to carefree single dog.

9. A little fairy in MengMeng, teased by being single, likes to take it away.

10. The kind of girl who thinks, well, she must have a boyfriend at first sight. In fact, such girls are generally single dog.

Single dog's self-deprecating quotations/single dog's classic quotations.

1. The whole world is filled with the sour taste of love, and only I exude the fragrance of single dog.

I am not single dog, I am just a lone wolf in the wind.

3. The people who show their love have changed from batch to batch, and only I am single.

4. Long-distance love, what is long-distance love? I am in a long-distance relationship with my partner, and I still don't know where ta is.

5. I have been single for a long time, and suddenly I found that I saw a sow recently and felt very beautiful.

6. Nowadays, high-value people are single, such as me.

7. Do you know why I am single? Generally, I am handsome and will not be considered.

Please don't call me single dog. My code name is Lone Wolf.

9. I am single because no one can easily deserve me as the successor of the proletariat.

10. I have been blessed by God since I was born. I advised God to get wet with rain and dew, but God wouldn't listen. Let me be single. Let me be single.

Talk about being single, single dog.

Talking about being single

1. One is always on a strange road, watching strange scenery and listening to strange songs. Then in a casual moment, you will find that you have really forgotten what you tried so hard to forget.

2. Being single is just a lifestyle you choose; It is better to be alone than to make do with it. We are proud and lonely.

I opened the door and found that I was alone.

No matter how many grievances you have suffered. I'll keep a secret. It's not that I don't want to say it, I just don't know what to say and who to say it to.

5. Be quiet when you are alone; When you are alone, you will feel lonely, fill the wounds at night with the past, and then giggle at your innocence; If a person is free, he will not be affected, and the small world will go at will; Be strong when you are alone, and hold your head high when you have no shoulders to lean on. No one loves himself more than himself. One day alone, we smile, smile, walk and smile. A person is beautiful and romantic! A person is quiet and elegant.

It is said that every man who wins a quarrel with his girlfriend (wife) is single!

7. Being single means that God has prepared a better person for you. I hope these words will warm you up.

8. I don't want to be single, just to wait for someone.

9. After breaking up, I was free.

10, now you don't have love, not that you don't deserve it, but that God thinks you deserve better.

Talking about being single

1 1. Being single for a long time will become a habit.

12, I missed someone. I thought it was just a moment, but I didn't expect it to be a lifetime.

13, single for a long time, even the sow will feel narrow-eyed.

14, from college to now, there is only one boy who makes me want to have sex with someone. Unfortunately, I won't do it when he wants to have sex with me. When I want to have sex with him, he has a girlfriend!

15, not without love, just wrong!

16, loneliness, but not loneliness, is a transcendental realm. I like to enjoy a person's quiet, like the feeling of detachment.

17, thank you for your rudeness and let me learn to give up. ....

18, one person is full, and the whole family is not hungry. Play by yourself, please don't disturb.

19, the person you like doesn't appear, and the person who does doesn't like it.

20, fate has not arrived, do not want to fuck.

Single dog, tell me.

Do you know why you are still single? Because your vision is in place, your strength has not kept up.

I finally know why I'm single. Those who like it don't like me, and those who like it don't know.

I am single, I am proud, and I keep condoms for my country.

Someone asked me how to spend Valentine's Day this year, and I said, skip it.

Don't just tell me that you are happy unless you want to spend it with me.

Let me spend Christmas alone, let me spend New Year's Day alone, let me spend holidays alone, and let me pass the exam alone if I have the ability.

Are you still alone on Valentine's Day? Nima, will I become a dog?

It's good to be single. You don't need to explain that you know nothing about anyone.

I have saved a lot of phone bills since I was single.

I won a quarrel with my girlfriend, and now I'm basically single.

Either you are always proud of being single, or you are dedicated to one person.

The typical sign of being single is that the one-month traffic package is long gone, and more than half of the call package is left.

I will play lianliankan at home when I am in love with someone, and one pair will be eliminated.

Hello, I am a life-long honorary member of the global single dog Anti-show Love Alliance.

Don't ask me why I am single, excellent and willful!

Didn't receive any presents at Christmas? Don't be sad, don't be sad, because there will be New Year's Day, Spring Festival, and a person's day, and you will gradually get used to it.

It's good to talk about being single, but you will still be silent when you see a couple.

Since I was single, I have saved my phone bill, refreshed and my heart has stopped hurting.

The saddest thing is not being single, but not even having a favorite person in my heart.

Some people are single because they are not serious about their feelings; And some people are single because they are too serious about their feelings.

Behind everyone, there is at least one heartbreaking secret.

There is a single, there is a single, just for someone.

My love doesn't love me, and my love doesn't love me, which is why I have been single.

Why are so many people still single? Because your vision is in place, your strength is not better.

In fact, it's good to be single, and you don't need to explain who you are.

You didn't choose to be single, you just chose the love you want.

I'd rather be single than talk about feelings casually, because I don't want to run out of my best when I meet better people.

Unless that person can make your life better than it was when you were single, why leave single for that person?

For people who are afraid of trouble and pain, being single is more suitable for me.

There are always a few friends around who have been supporting you, taking care of you and understanding you, so even if you are single, you are happy.

In fact, single life is not bad, and I finally have time to take care of everything.

Single because someone in my heart can't support the second person.

Being single doesn't mean being vulnerable, but that you are strong enough to wait for the person you deserve.

If a person has been single for a long time and doesn't want to fall in love, he will feel that friends are becoming more and more important.

Being single is not terrible. The scary thing is that when you are single, others think you are not single.

If you are still single, enjoy it. You are single not because you are not good enough, but because no one deserves you at present.

Keep saying long live single, but thinking about that impossible Ta in my heart.

It is said that those girls who have been single for a long time have gradually become the men they want to marry most.