Funny sentences of love

I stayed in the depths of my memory, looking for the rest of my happiness. The following are funny sentences about love that I compiled. Let's have a look.

1. A person asks you to come to the bowl, which means that he likes you. Why? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Because you are my bowl and I am your dish!

When my sister sold you a lovely girl and said good night, I felt that you were different from others in his heart. You deserve a spare tire, an ATM, an encyclopedia, a data filter, a scanner, free post-production, free photography, free logistics and free food delivery. . . . . .

3. Being single is a mountain road, falling in love is a road, breaking up is a fork in the road, trying to find a way, getting married is a dead end, divorce is a road, bigamy is a highway, no lover is a dead end, and many lovers are dead ends. Hey, which way are you going?

Little girls want to find a white horse in their dreams. When they opened their eyes, they found that the whole world was a gray donkey. After the grief, they can only choose a strong one from the donkeys. Such a donkey is named: economically applicable male!

5, girl status: find a man like a sanitary towel, generous, inclusive, suck away troubles ~ ~ ~

6, money, so many people who love each other can't be together, so many people who don't want to love sleep together!

7. A man found his son wearing a condom after work and was busy reprimanding his son. The son said indignantly, tomorrow we will play a play, some as good people and some as bad people. I asked the teacher what I could play. The teacher said, "You play a crane"!

8. In the bar, this man is complaining to his friend. The man complained: "I just shook hands with MM a while ago and she got pregnant!" " The friend was startled: "Are you kidding? Can you get pregnant by shaking hands? The man tangled and said, "hey, I don't like washing my hands. I didn't expect her to do the same!"

9. the Monkey King: Let my master go quickly, or don't blame me for using magic weapons! Spider spirit: I'm not afraid of you! Wukong took out a 4G USB flash drive, Spider Spirit's face changed greatly, and Wukong took out a 250G hard drive. White-eyed, Spider Spirit asked in a trembling voice, "Who gave it to you?" The Monkey King: "Spider-Man", spider vomiting blood: ex-boyfriend shit!

10, a: "Tell me a tragedy"? B: "After the man was ligated, his wife miscarried." A: "Is there anything more tragic than this?"? B: "After the man is ligated, the wife is pregnant".

1 1. The doctor said to the patient who was about to undergo surgery, "This operation has certain risks. If it fails, it will cause your left side to be paralyzed. " The patient immediately touched his penis with his hand. Doctor: What are you doing? Patient: "I'll move it to the right."

12, my wife cried on the internet, saying that the name her husband gave her daughter was actually the name of her first love. Also said that I always knew that my husband had loved that first love. I thought I was the happiest person, but now I know that my husband has never forgotten his first love! Some netizens replied: Actually, your husband wants to tell his first love: Nima's!

13, while my classmate is taking a shower, change his girlfriend's phone number to mine. Send him a text message in bed at night "Husband, I'm pregnant". I saw that guy suddenly turn over and get out of bed. Bada Bada smoked a box of cigarettes and asked the dormitory people to borrow money!

14, the phone went into shock, and there was a message "I decided to confess"! He and she have always been good friends, but she has always loved him, "Oh … then come on". I waited outside her house for a long time, afraid to knock. "Got the nerve to knock at the door! I support you! Do you think she will agree? " I don't know. "She put the phone down and shed tears unwillingly. The phone shook again, but it was a phone call. She replied … "Please open the door, I still dare not knock".

15, high school, school is closed management, usually we can only climb over the wall when we go out to play, but only one student goes out directly from the gate. He is not tall and a little fat. He likes to wear a suit and not shave. Every time he goes out, the security guard will ask him, "How was your talk with the teacher?" I saw him patting his thigh and his face was as sad as a curse: "I am so worried about this baby, I always know how to fight!" " Come on, give a cigarette to calm down.

16. Humor means that a person has an interest in laughing when he wants to cry!

17, I can choose to give up, but I can't give up my choice.

18, women like ugly men, not ugly men.

19, eat your own food, take not being hungry as the standard, eat friends' food as the standard, eat bosses' food as the standard, and eat public food as the standard.

20. The saddest and most disturbing thing is not knowing the moment of losing a loved one, but still wandering and not knowing that I have lost it.

2 1, obedient like a grandson when in love; After engagement, learn to talk back like a son; Give orders like Lao Zi after marriage.

22. Beautiful women have many love stories, while unattractive women hear many love stories.

23. It is better to be beautiful than to live beautifully!

24. If the boss uses you, you are a talent. If you don't, you will be laid off!

25, excessive love, there are only two seasons: cute and unlovable; There are only two voices in the night sky of love: luck and misfortune; There are only two kinds of scenery on the road of love: mine and ours.

If you don't love him, don't show him off. Showing off to him is just a representative. You still care what he thinks, and you're obsessed with him. Seeing this embarrassment, he will only be convinced that you have never forgotten him.

27. There is nothing wrong with being single, only beautiful single ladies and unattractive single ladies.

Half of life is bad luck, the other half is how to deal with it.

29. Flattering the other party is an official, despising the other party is an art, and not telling the truth when meeting is a business.

30. Learning cannot be overstepped, let alone lagged behind, otherwise children will have no childhood, young people will have no youth, middle-aged people will have no fun, and old people will have no leisure.

3 1. Men have the idea of getting married after their careers fail, while women have the idea of marrying men after their careers succeed.

32. The more mature the husband who is deeply loved by his wife, the less mature the wife who is spoiled by her husband.

The temperature of love is like bath water. The hotter the better, the more comfortable you feel.

Don't trust roses. This thing is expensive and perishable. If you want to believe, please believe my three tears, they are higher than yours 100 degrees Celsius-I love you! Just give me a glass of water every day, and I can pour it out for you every day!

35. There is a classroom in the university. There is something wrong with the wall clock inside. As long as something knocks, it will get faster and faster, and it takes 5 minutes to knock once. One day, when the professor was in class, he found that when he was writing on the blackboard, all the students threw a wall clock with an eraser, but the professor kept quiet and still rang the bell. Before long, the final exam arrived and everyone was immersed in it. I saw the professor practicing losing the clock with the blackboard eraser.

Xiao Yun: On the bus, a man whispered to the person next to him, "Are you Li Gang?" ? Answer: "No", "Is your father Li Gang"? "No" "Do you have any relatives and friends named Li Gang"? "No," the man thundered, "then let go of your feet quickly, you stepped on Lao Zi!" !

37. The two broke up for many years and met unexpectedly in a city. Man: "How are you"? Woman: "good". Man: "What's he like"? Woman: "Good" The woman asked, "How are you"? The man replied, "Good". Woman: "How is she"? Man: "She just told me that she was fine."

38. Did you fail in math? Normal! Do you need to use functions when shopping? Failed politics? Normal! China is 654.38+03 billion yuan. Is it your turn to be president? Fail Chinese? Normal! Do you swear by rhetoric? Fail physics? Normal! Do you need to consider air resistance when jumping off a building? Fail geography? Normal! Don't you know the way home?

39. One day, a friend was stuck in a traffic jam in Beijing for several hours and finally couldn't stand it. He angrily opened the car door, opened the trunk and took out a long stick. Everyone in the traffic jam looked at him in surprise, only to see him curse and hit a snail on the ground, knocking and cursing: "Don't you dare follow me!"