How to improve your speaking skills

How to improve your speaking skills

How to improve your speaking skills. You must know that being stupid is not terrible. Having good eloquence and speaking skills will make you more comfortable. Choice, so do you know how to improve your speaking skills? Let’s take a look at how to improve your speaking skills! How to improve your speaking skills 1

1. Your smile is worth more than a million

Smile is the lubricant that builds good interpersonal relationships and mediates various conflicts. Being a sincere smiler when communicating with others can shorten the distance between people. Every time you go out, tighten your chin, puff up your chest, take a deep breath, and greet everyone with a smile. Don’t be afraid of being misunderstood. Sincerity will never be misunderstood. Get rid of the habit of criticizing others and start appreciating and praising others. , a smile will win you favor in communication.

2. Listening is more comfortable than talking

When talking to others, you can’t just talk on your own. Properly listening to other people’s opinions and language will make your conversation progress. more smoothly. Listening can make the other person like you and trust you. Everyone hopes to gain the respect and attention of others. When we listen to the other party with full attention, the other party will definitely feel respected and valued. The distance between the two parties will inevitably be shortened, and the conversation will be deeper and more harmonious. .

3. Extend more olive branches

When communicating with people as a topic maker, people who are good at talking focus on finding the same topic. This is because the same topic The topic can arouse the interest of both parties. Finding suitable topics and focusing the conversation on things that the other party is interested in can make the conversation harmonious and comfortable for both parties. Especially when communicating with strangers, a good topic is the medium for the first conversation and the basis for in-depth discussions. Focus the conversation on what the other person is interested in. The other person will be happy because of your attentiveness and be willing to continue the conversation with you, so be good at being a topic maker. How to improve your speaking skills 2

01 Reasons why you are not good at speaking

Explain that people who are good at speaking understand what others want to hear and can express themselves logically and orderly. Be persuasive and attract the other person.

Being not very good at talking has both mental and methodological reasons. Common situations are as follows:

1. When communicating with anyone, self-confidence always comes first.

It is normal for you to chat with friends, parents and other familiar people, and even laugh happily; but when you encounter specific groups of people and situations, you will be at a loss.

This shows that when you communicate with others, first of all, it is not a lack of methods, but a lack of strong communication confidence. If you don’t know how to subjectively establish a confident attitude when speaking, and cannot overcome the nervousness of speaking in public in social situations, no matter how many skills you learn, it will be in vain.

2. I don’t know how to open the topic quickly.

Many friends are already chatting to death in the first step of chatting. That is, they don’t know how to start saying the first sentence to open up the silence with the other party. This situation is called in communication It's an icebreaker.

3. It is easy to say the wrong thing, end the conversation awkwardly, and end the topic;

For people who are not good at chatting, it is easy to become the legendary topic terminator in social situations. This belongs to the category of method skills. If you don’t master the corresponding method, you will naturally be at a loss.

4. Will not continue the topic or change the topic;

You have silenced the chat, but you don’t know how to continue the previous topic immediately, or directly transfer to other topics. Things you can talk about so that your chat can get back on track.

5. Lack of sufficient reserves of knowledge, stories, topics, etc. to communicate with different people;

This will make it easy for you to run out of ideas when communicating, and to express yourself but not be able to, because There is too little material stored in the brain.

6. The expression is complex and verbose, lacking focus and logic;

When expressing one thing, the logical line is not clear, there is no plan for what to say first and what to say later, and the language is dry and repetitive.

7. Lack of sense of humor;

Assume that you are usually a serious and cold person, and you cannot be funny or humorous, and you cannot activate the atmosphere according to the situation, although you may not necessarily have humor. Only by feeling can you win friends. But you are missing a powerful social weapon. Humor is sometimes like a lubricant, a catalyst, an accelerant.

Three reasons for not being good at speaking

1. Growth experience and environmental influence

A person’s childhood, relationship with parents, caregivers, and teachers , and the evaluations he faces from others in the past, such as criticism, praise, encouragement and other experiences will have a direct impact on his self-confidence.

Home and family are the starting point for forming your earliest social relationships. It is said that parents are a person's earliest teachers. Your parents or caregivers get along with you day and night. Their words and deeds will subtly affect you and form the cornerstone of your future relationships with others.

Parents will use their own experience and knowledge to teach you how to communicate and get along with others. But unfortunately, many friends who have low self-esteem and are not good at communication will receive mostly negative feedback during their growth experience. The lack of understanding, acceptance, and praise will inertia lead to you often being passive in interpersonal interactions and unable to determine whether others can communicate with you. If you communicate smoothly, this uncertainty will lead to your lack of confidence in communication, and it will also affect your ability to communicate and express.

2. Negative emotional experiences that affect interpersonal communication

In addition to family, school is the second environment where you start to learn interpersonal communication, and many of our negative interpersonal experiences occur in this stage. The most common ones are being bullied, ridiculed, and excluded.

If these negative communication and social emotions and experiences often accompany you, they will naturally affect your communication skills and make you afraid or unwilling to communicate with others. Over time, your communication skills will also deteriorate. of degradation.

3. Stressful events that affect interpersonal relationships

When we are still very young, if we move, change schools, or change to a new and unfamiliar environment, we will meet new friends. , new neighbors, new classmates, new teachers, there will be a lot of uncertainty.

It will break your original rhythm and interpersonal relationships. If you happen to meet someone who is not too friendly, or a strict teacher, then you will be very stressed.

There is a cartoon movie "Inside Out", which tells the story of a little girl who moves to a new city with her family and starts a new life. She is in the rebellious period of youth and encounters various interpersonal difficulties. Afterwards, she broke down emotionally and ran away from home, but fortunately the little girl had enlightened parents and her courage to face the problem positively, and finally had a happy ending.

But many friends are not so lucky. After encountering many changes, their self-confidence and communication skills have been affected, and this will affect them for many years.

In the above situations, although you are under pressure to communicate and socialize, you still have to get along with others on some occasions, for example, participating in some group activities in schools and companies, and friends bringing friends. gatherings, interviews, blind dates, etc.

Once there is failure or negative emotions in a certain communication, it will aggravate your social anxiety. For example, if you say something at a party and are ignored by others, you will feel like a failure.

02 How to improve?

1. Understand the needs of the other party

The ultimate purpose of speaking is communication.

A person who is good at talking will not just say what he wants to say, but will adopt corresponding strategies according to the specific situation of the other party to make it easier for the other party to accept it in order to achieve the desired effect.

People who can’t speak tend to ignore the other person’s feelings and only say what they want to say. Not only does this not only make the other person convinced, but it will also lead to a rebellious mentality and a silent decision in the heart that they will not do it again next time. Wasting time with you.

To be able to speak, you must first understand the target and adopt different best ways of speaking according to different situations.

First, the identity of the audience.

In social communication, you will not always meet people of your own generation, such as leaders, elders, and bosses.

When communicating with them, naturally you cannot be as casual as your peers, and you must also pay attention to etiquette.

Second, hobbies and personality.

For the same leaders and bosses, everyone’s personality and hobbies will be very different. Some are serious, some are domineering and irritable, some are heroic and generous, and some are perfectionistic. In short, different people , we must adopt different ways of speaking, otherwise conflicts will easily arise.

Third, emotional state.

If you encounter the other person who is in a bad mood, it is best to avoid it for the time being rather than adding fuel to the fire.

2. Say different things according to different situations

To put it simply, speaking randomly regardless of the situation will have the opposite effect.

For example, in a meeting that needs to be taken seriously, you cannot make random jokes or just talk nonsense without organizing the language well.

Or when chatting in the office, differences in personality, temperament, preferences, or length of time between colleagues will make the difference between closeness and closeness. When chatting, you should not talk briefly to those who are distant from you, but you need to speak directly to those who are close to you.

At the same time, we should avoid the following points: a. Don’t criticize your boss or superiors at will. b. Don’t speak ill of other colleagues. c. Don’t stir up trouble and spread rumors.

3. Logical and persuasive expression

The so-called good expression ability actually means that you speak logically, and this logic is a speaking routine. Here are three logical expression techniques introduced to you, which you can learn in one go.

1. 5W1H Logical Expression

Many people describe a thing without logic and make people feel confused. In fact, the content elements when describing the thing are not complete enough, and the audience Important information is missing, which leads to incomprehension, incomprehension, and confusion.

In fact, as long as you try to cover the 5W1H elements when describing something, you can make the thing clear.

　5W1H, respectively: When, Where, Who, Why, What, How.

The order can be reversed according to specific circumstances.

2. Three points of divine logic, super convincing.

When you express something, try to finish it in 3 main points. This will make it appear that you speak in an organized manner. In general oral expression, if you can blurt out three points, it will make people feel that the point of view expressed is very convincing. force.

Example: Your boss asks you to make some suggestions for a task.

You can blurt it out, my view on this matter is this, there are three aspects. The first point is that this matter involves how the personnel are. The second point is that the partner needs to provide certain support. The third point is that you need to set a time limit for this task. etc.

It is to split the content covered by one thing into three contents and say them in order, which will make you appear to be very organized and convincing.

3. Three-level persuasion pyramid

Under normal circumstances, many people use these three types of language to persuade others: interests, logic, and emotion. But most people use a single method, and the effect is relatively weak.

If we want the other party to be willing to listen to our ideas and persuade the other party to take action, it is best to use the "three-level persuasion pyramid".

Since different people have different needs for these three types, they can focus on one of them.

Since most people only know one of interest, logic, and emotion, and without understanding the other person’s personality preferences, they use unpalatable statements, and the effect will be unsatisfactory.

For an example that can effectively illustrate this method, I recommend Chai Jing’s once sensational smog speech "Under the Sky".

At the beginning, it starts with a mother’s concern about her child’s health, triggering an emotional roar.

In the middle, to explain logically, it is the emission of carbon particles into the air caused by a large amount of substandard coal and fuel oil.

In the end, we use interests to guide everyone. As long as ordinary people follow many simple and practical actions, they can get clean air.

Basically use these three methods at the same time to catch them all in one fell swoop, affecting the largest common denominator of the population.

4. Daily accumulation and training

If you know the method, without enough training, you can only use it skillfully and make quick instinctive reactions.

Just like a novice who hits the road just after getting his driver's license, most of the time he is not proficient enough. However, an experienced driver who has been driving for many years can make instinctive driving operations without thinking.

When many people learn a certain knowledge or skill, they often only look at the basic concepts and lack follow-up and repeated practice.

From a physiological level, what allows people to truly know and do it, and form habits, is because of a substance called "myelin" in our brains.

"Myelin" is simply a layer of insulation wrapped around neuronal circuits. The thicker and more insulating myelin is, the more precise and agile our movements and thinking become.

What is the role of “myelin”? The transmission of signals between neurons gradually weakens with distance. Myelin can reduce signal attenuation, thereby ensuring stable and rapid signal transmission.

There is no myelin on the left side; there is myelin on the right side, so the signal transmission on the right side is faster.

Myelin cannot be produced automatically. Myelin can only be obtained through human training, and then the bandwidth and accuracy of the skill circuit can be effectively improved.

You can simply understand "myelin" as an important material for building highways. If you practice enough and well enough, the highway will be wider and smoother.

You know a "truth", which only belongs to "information". You can't do it because you haven't linked information to information, knowledge to knowledge, and linked knowledge to form a highway of skills. If it is not built well, you can only take the narrow path. Naturally, your speed and reaction will be very slow, which means you are not good at it.

Just like if you have just learned to drive and are not proficient, your reaction will be slower, but for an experienced driver who has been driving for several years, all driving actions are instinctive reactions without overthinking.

There is no innate influence such as genetic talent on the production of myelin, it just depends on whether you have enough learning and practice.

It is also very similar to building muscles. Only by following scientific training methods, repeating gravity training multiple times, and supplementing with enough protein can you grow muscles faster.