For 23 years, my cousin and I have been having an underground love affair that is not blessed.

I sent my cousin to the airport in the afternoon. For more than 20 years, we have been guarding this secret love, but we have not seen the light.

My cousin and I were born in the same year, with a difference of less than half a year. We are cousins. Mom and menstruation are separated by two cities, one south and the other north, with a distance of nearly 6000 kilometers. At that time, the traffic was underdeveloped, and my cousin and I had never met since childhood. Twenty-three years ago, my cousin went to college in Beijing and I went to college in my hometown. During the winter vacation that year, my cousin was asked to visit menstruation (my mother) during menstruation. My cousin came to my school without saying hello in advance. When I returned to the dormitory at night, a tall and handsome man (height 188) got up and called me "big sister" enthusiastically. I'm obviously confused. My mother didn't tell me that a cousin was coming to see me at school. I was a little introverted and embarrassed, so I answered naturally, and my eyes were full of tension. Cousin has an active personality, a nice voice, a strong speaking ability, and a domineering attitude of men in northern Xinjiang. I was born in a first-tier city in the south, where there are many tall buildings. I met many white rabbits, mambo men and feminized hipsters, and I was attracted by the strong masculinity of growing up in Guang Mao grassland. My cousin is naturally familiar, talking and laughing all night, telling my family that I can hardly get a word in. After chatting for more than two hours, he took his luggage back to my home by car.

The winter vacation of colleges and universities in southern cities is later than that in the north. A few days later, I came home and my cousin came to pick me up. He wore a uniform and felt depressed. The moment I looked at him, I only felt dizzy. His eyes are hot and affectionate, and I have no resistance at all. My cousin only stuck with me during the whole winter vacation, and didn't chat with my brother very much, nor did he entertain my brother very much. Years ago, my mother asked me to accompany my cousin to some scenic spots. We will never forget that day. He was close to my body all the way, so close that his warm breath blew into my ears. My arms were numb and crisp, and I could feel a strong current when I touched them through my winter coat. We took a lot of film photos that day, but there were no scenic spots in our eyes. In the afternoon, in the quiet Woods of the scenic spot, we stood face to face, looking at each other silently and affectionately, knowing what we were thinking, but our mood was very complicated. Suddenly, he held me in his arms and kissed me madly. I didn't refuse. A powerful current spreads all over the body, and the sense of security, compulsion and protection instantly flows in every cell and pore of the body. After kissing for a long time, he said, "I wish you were my cousin!" " "I don't know when, we all looked at each other, but the idea jumped out and we all tried our best to put it back. After all, love can't deceive ourselves. We are hopelessly in love with each other.

On that day, after returning home, we almost stuck together except for bedtime, and our eyes no longer avoided. Whenever there is an opportunity, we will hold hands, hug and kiss. Although we pretend nothing happened in front of my parents, our eyes can't fool my mother. Mother found our abnormality. One night many years later, my mother called my cousin to the bedroom, closed the door, and began to have a deep talk with him, so that my cousin could admit the fact that we loved each other and raise strong objections. My cousin is very brave. He directly expressed his desire to marry me, saying that when he came back, he would tell his mother (me, menstruation) to get a license and hold a wedding when he reached the legal age for marriage. A word left my mother speechless. Although modern law does not allow consanguineous marriage, it violates the marriage law. However, there are many examples of ancient cousin marriages, and it is understandable if they are forced to be together. But my family's situation is very special, and my parents are also cousins. Grandma and grandma are sisters. My parents are childhood friends. They love each other very much and have loved each other all their lives. Cousin aunt "aunt, you and my uncle are cousins, and we know everything at home. You love each other very much and you are very happy. " . Why can you be together and my cousin and I can't be together? It's not fair to both of us! It's not fair! "Mom was speechless, yes! My cousin is the same as my parents' cousins. Why can't we be accommodated? Mother said, "XX, my aunt and uncle are sorry for you two. Just because we are close relatives and cousins, you two have an extra layer of close relatives and cousins. I can't imagine what your future child will look like. " This does not conform to the scientific principle of prenatal and postnatal care. Your mother works in the family planning department, and she will strongly object. My cousin immediately declared, "I know eugenics and I respect science." As long as I can marry my cousin, I am willing to give up having children. My father has eight or nine brothers, and there are several brothers in my family, so there is no need to carry on the family line. I'll tell my mother when I get back that I want to marry my cousin. "My mother doesn't believe that giving up having children is a heavy commitment of a boy around 2 1 year old. My mother almost cried and begged my cousin to let me go. Cousin has a fighting spirit and a firm attitude, and disagrees. In the bedroom, my mother and cousin had a fierce argument, and it was meaningless to close the door or not. I can hear clearly in the living room. I am very sad, on the one hand, my beloved mother, on the other hand, my beloved cousin. I am on the horns of a dilemma. The argument was fruitless and suddenly the door opened. My cousin gave me a look in the living room and went out for air. Mother looked serious and called me into the room. The same scientific principle of eugenics was told to me again. I have a bad temper and dare not take care of my mother like my cousin. I just bowed my head and cried. In the next few days, my cousin stopped hiding from my parents and took me out to do my ideological work in turn. Let me go back to northern Xinjiang to get married after graduation.

It is my fault that I am not brave enough. It's my fault. I'm too weak to love and look forward. I can't bear to go to the prairie in the northwest of China with my cousin. I am a flower in a greenhouse, living in a southern city with developed economy. I can't imagine getting married nearly 6000 kilometers away. I haven't seen my parents for several years. The northwest wind is whistling and the snow is falling. It turns out that my love is mixed with a lot of realistic helplessness. I'm really scared. I only enjoy love and dare not imagine the future. My cousin is an orientation student. After graduation, he is going to go back to his hometown to work in the system. If I ask him to give up the establishment and come to my city M, I can't help him solve the establishment. I don't want to be so selfish and let him drift south. Parents strongly oppose it and will not help him.

It's too difficult! It's getting closer and closer to the end of his winter vacation, but I still haven't given him an answer. Finally, he went back to Beijing to start school, and I went to the railway station to see him off. He always hugs me deeply and kisses me, and I cry like a pear. My cousin said, "Wait, I won't give up on you. I'll go back and tell my parents that I'll pick you up after college and we'll get married. " I broke free from his arms and tried to relax. "You gave up on me. Don't be relatives in the next life, be husband and wife. You'll be fine in your life, get married and have children normally. I will keep you in my heart all my life. I promise you to propose in your next life. " He's gone, I'm here, and every day after that, it's Lacrimosa. After that, we wrote to each other every week, but he told me his love for me and kept doing ideological work for me to marry him. I also told him my love for him and refused to get married and live in northern Xinjiang. A year and a half later, we both graduated from college, and he returned to northern Xinjiang smoothly and entered the system. I also went to study for a master's degree and worked in a public institution in my city after graduation. Thanks to the erosion of time, my tears are getting less and less, my heart is not so hurt, and we have also started our career struggle mode, and our contact is getting less and less.

Six years later, one day in 2004, menstruation called his mother and reported to her that "XX was married". Her mother blessed her happily. I believe her mother really blessed her, and a big stone fell to the ground in her heart. But I tried to hold back my tears and ran to an abandoned old office near my home to cry. I know, I lost my cousin forever. Heartache, regret, unwillingness, all kinds of emotions surged up at once, and I couldn't breathe in pain. I just found out that six years later, I still love him so much, just hiding him in a corner of my heart and never forgetting it. I didn't call him to wish him well, that's all! Next life, I promise you, next life I am not your relative, I am your wife. Goodbye, cousin, it's time to say goodbye to the past.

In the summer of the same year, my cousin took his sister-in-law to the south for their honeymoon, and came to the neighboring prefecture-level city of Anhui Province, where his sister (my cousin) lived. My cousin asked me to go to her house and said that my cousin and sister-in-law had come. They haven't seen each other for years, so let's get together. I have mixed feelings. I haven't seen my cousin for six years. But he is married and has a younger brother and sister. I'm afraid, and I can't help feeling sad. But my mother asked me to meet her. She wanted me to see the scene where my cousin and sister-in-law were in love, which made me give up completely.

I shouldn't, really shouldn't go to see my cousin. My mother's wishful thinking is wrong. The moment I saw my cousin, my eyes went back to six years ago. Sister-in-law is not beautiful, not tall, but a virtuous woman, who is extremely warm and beautiful to me. Look, I'm late. I've already eaten at home, and she specially cooked for me. The more virtuous she is, the more guilty I feel. I think it's time to make peace with the past and wish my cousin and his wife love each other. The next day, my cousin took her sister-in-law to a place and asked me to help her go to my old house to do something. This gives my cousin and I a chance to be alone 1 day. No one else. In the old house, my cousin hugged me and kissed me I tried my best to break free and let him remember his identity. He is married and no longer belongs to me. We're completely over. My cousin said that I was the only wife in his heart, and my sister-in-law was found by a blind date at home, just to complete the marriage and childbirth on paper. Under his compulsion, I failed to bear his pressure, and at the same time I gave myself to my cousin because of love. I don't regret it. It's been six years, so consider it a happy ending of love! My cousin said that he would never have an end with me in his life.

When they came back from their honeymoon, I told my cousin that he would treat his sister-in-law well and forget me in the future. It's hopeless in this life, and we will continue our relationship in the next life. My cousin hugged me and kissed me, saying that he didn't believe in an afterlife, and it was impossible to forget me in this life. I was his wife in this life. They flew away, taking away each other's lovesickness. I once again put my cousin in my heart.

Time flies, and I have reached the marriageable age. Because I have better conditions, many aunts and grandmothers introduce blind date objects, and countless blind date objects spread out their conditions to talk about marriage. Appearance, height, education, work, income, economy, real estate, family background, one by one spread out on the table naked talk. Those who fail to meet my requirements, those who are eliminated by me, those who fail to meet the requirements of the other party, and those who are eliminated by me. I am like a precious commodity in the marriage market, talking about equivalent exchange transactions. There are also conditions to talk about a few short-term relationships and soon enter the marriage negotiation period. Every time the other person talks about the topic of marriage, I take the initiative to break up, and it all ends in nothing. I value marriage as much as I value it. Without the right person, I would rather never get married. How can I give up my husband's position? I remembered my cousin again. He is the only man I really want to marry. Although due to many reasons, such as cousins' feelings, region and so on, they could not be with cousins. But my husband's position, only he deserves, I am willing to give it to him. Not him, I decided not to get married in my life.

It has been seven years since I left my cousin. 20 1 1, his aunt in Lincheng, the capital city of our province, is critically ill. He and his father (my uncle) came to visit the patient. My uncle assigned him to run a hospital because the medical conditions in my city are the top in the country. In this way, he will have an excuse to come to our city. I thought that after seven years, we would be like other relatives, and our mood would no longer fluctuate. Unexpectedly, the moment we met, we were beaten back to our original shape. Uncontrollable love welled up again. We stayed together for another two days, making love crazily and telling about our lovesickness. I kept him in my heart so carefully that as soon as he appeared, I immediately broke through the defense. Not long after, his aunt died. After the funeral, his cousin followed his uncle and flew back to northern Xinjiang. I wonder how many teenagers it will take to see him again.

Until this month, 202 1, another year 10, my brother and sister fell ill, and my cousin took him to Beijing to see a doctor and recuperate at our province and his sister's house. He bought a house in his sister's city. Because it hasn't been decorated seriously, his sister-in-law lives in his cousin's house and goes back to his house at night. He contacted me. I wanted to visit my sister-in-law at my cousin's house, but my cousin stopped me. He said he only wanted to see me this time. Because the driving distance between the two cities is only 1 hour, he drives to my city every night after 0: 00 on weekdays, and I drive to his city on weekends. We met in the hotel, telling the story of lovesickness and sex. However, this time, our meeting was better than the last one. /kloc-0 0 years! How many years is life 10? In a blink of an eye, we are all approaching retirement age (I still have 10 years, and my cousin still has 15 years). My cousin thinks it's terrible, and he says he won't have a chance if he doesn't accompany me. I don't want to retire at the age of 60, so I can only sunbathe on the balcony with me. He wants to divorce, resign, work in my cousin's city and marry me. I was frightened by his idea. Yes, my character is too weak. I'm afraid this is a family scandal. I won't let him get a divorce. I don't want to be a sinner in my family. Moreover, he is a member of the system, and I don't want him to resign impulsively. He and I agreed to transfer to his cousin's city in about two years and spend the rest of my life with me. Even if there is no wedding paper, as long as you can see it every week, you will be satisfied. He can't stand the sight of 10 years.

My cousin's underground love affair continues. I said I would wait for him in the south. Even if he can't be transferred to the south, I will wait here until he retires at the age of 60. We will bask in the sun together, drill in the Woods together, grow old together until the end of our lives, and one of us will die for the other. I will save my life for him, but for him, my husband's seat will always be empty for him.

It is said that the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl have a good life. Once a year, my cousin and I are more difficult to love than the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl. I have only met four times in 23 years, but I have been private for life.

When I saw the submission, my second uncle didn't know what to say. I have seen him four times in 23 years, but I have loved him all my life. Lin once said: If you hold me in your arms, love my bones and protect me, I will cover your eyes and tell you whether you are a person or a ghost! Whether you are sincere or perfunctory to me is like a mirror in my heart. I'm just playing dumb for my own liking. Chunfeng and I are both travelers. You are lucky to meet Qiu Shui, although it is sad …