The lines in Private Zhao Weiguo's sketch "Looking for Psychosis"

(Zhao is holding a piece of paper on the table)

Zhao: I'm looking for you ... A mental patient was accidentally lost in our hospital last night. The patient is male, in his thirties, of medium build, wearing a pair of glasses, and likes to buckle his head when he is happy. When you ask him: Where are you going, he will definitely answer: Don't worry about this, and then ask: Why are you angry? He will definitely answer: this is a trap. When you finally ask: what trap, he will definitely answer: I went in naked. If all the answers are correct, it can be proved that this person is the patient. Please contact our hospital-Lukou Town Psychiatric Hospital as soon as possible. Well, hey hey, guys, hurry up and see if there is this person around you. If there is, call immediately, because this psycho is not legally responsible for killing and setting fire to a good woman ... well ... if I don't hear you clearly, I will read it again. Last night, our hospital .. (The soldier looked up, gnome male-".

Zhao: Isn't he in his thirties and wearing a pair of glasses? He should buckle his head when he is happy. Why not? Oh, my God, buckle my head. It turned out to be ... stop. ! Uh-huh ... What are you doing? Don't worry.

Zhao: That's right. Hey, hey, why are you angry?

Big: It's a trap.

Zhao: That's right! ! ! What trap?

David Attenborough: I went in wearing a skirt. ...

Zhao: He should have gone in naked.

Da: (rushing to Zhao) Something's wrong! !

Zhao: Hey, hey, don't, don't, don't, don't come here ... What happened?

Big: Something's wrong!

Zhao: What's the big deal?

A madman ran out of the mental hospital. ...

Zhao: ouch ... you know this, too?

I know them very well. ...

Zhao: Oh, hehe, why did you run out?

Big: alas! Food is terrible!

Zhao: Well, hehehe, this can be reported to the dean. ...

Big: The more introspection, the worse!

Zhao: How can it get worse?

David: Are you crazy? Who are you?

Zhao: Am I crazy?

Which dean listens to the patient?

Zhao: hmm ... that, that makes sense ... hum.

Da: the main reason is that we are not familiar with the dean.

Zhao: So ... who do you know well?

I am familiar with doctors.

Zhao: That's ... the doctor will see you directly. ...

Big: I'm not sick!

Zhao: Ah, yes! No ... I didn't say you were sick

David: I like ... studying mental illness.

Zhao: Ha ... He is still studying. ...

I can tell at a glance if anyone is sick!

Zhao: Then how do you know?

I asked him a random question. If he can't answer, he must be ill.

Zhao: What questions do you usually ask him?

Da: (looking back at Zhao) Why don't I ask you something?

Zhao: Ah ... Ask me?

See if you are sick. ...

Zhao: How could I get sick?

Big: Listen carefully.

Zhao: Hmm! You ask ...

Da: Zheng He made seven voyages to the Western Ocean (Zhao: Yes) and died on the way to the Western Ocean (Zhao: Oh? ) Excuse me, (Zhao: Hmm) How many times did he die in the Western Ocean?

Zhao: Who can believe it? Hey, hey, hey, cough. My history is not very good (big: oh). Can we change the subject?

Rita: You can't answer, can you?

Zhao: Well, it's not that I can't answer. Please change the question again.

I'll give you another chance (Zhao: Ask! Listen: What would you do if I took a knife (Zhao: Hmm) and cut off your left ear (Zhao was startled and put his hand over his ear)?

Zhao: I ... can't hear you!

Big shot: You got it right.

Z: No problem. ...

Big shot: shall I cut off my right ear, too?

Zhao: I can't hear you!

Big: You are mistaken.

Zhao: Why is the answer wrong?

The correct answer is invisible.

Zhao: Yes ... Huh? How can you not see without ears?

Rita: You have no place to hang your glasses. Salvation Army (sex apple) needs approval (subject to approval) Semi-Automatic)? shock absorption (Surface Area) ... Psychopaths ... Hi! ...

Zhao: Hey, hey ... why doesn't he ... this is not normal, this question. ...

(big buckle giggle)

Zhao: Here he comes again. Look ... where are you going?

Big shot: Stay out of it!

Zhao: Why are you angry?

Big: It's a trap!

Zhao: What trap?

I watched your uncle go in!

Zhao: hello ... he should say go in naked. ...

Big: There is a man who looks like a psychopath!

Zhao: Who is it?

Big: Your uncle.

Zhao: Your uncle is crazy.

David Attenborough: You see this man is very unconvinced. ...

Z: Certainly.

Aren't you the factory director?

Zhao: Yes!

Every time there is a meeting in their factory, your uncle doesn't speak normally.

Zhao: Why is it abnormal?

David Attenborough: He always does.

Zhao: Which set?

Big: Under the correct leadership of the municipal party committee and municipal government, (Zhao: ah) with the strong support of the higher authorities, (Zhao: ah) our factory has made great achievements. (Zhao: Yes) This achievement is first of all due to the leadership. Zhao: Yes. Without your care and love, we could not have achieved what we have achieved today. Zhao: Good point!

Zhao: Hey ... This ... huh? He is normal. ...

The problem is that he does this every time he has a meeting.

Zhao: That's ... He's the factory director. He had to say so. ...

A few days ago, their factory held another meeting.

Zhao: What meeting will be held?

Big: Their factory was badly run (Zhao: mm) and declared bankruptcy for the meeting.

Zhao: This ... went bankrupt so soon?

Da: He is the factory director. He wants to make a statement.

Zhao: What did he say?

Big: Under the correct leadership of the municipal party committee and municipal government, (Zhao: ah) with the strong support of superiors, (Zhao: um) our factory finally went bankrupt (Zhao: alas, alas, hello, no). The bankruptcy of our factory is first blamed on the leadership, (Zhao: hello, hello, this ...) No.

Zhao: Oh, my uncle. Hey, aren't you stirring up the masses against the leadership? this is ...

David Attenborough: Do you think he is crazy?

Zhao: No, he's not crazy. He drank too much that day.

Of course, his illness is atypical (the representative of Zhao Yi took it for granted: alas ...). He called it "atypical flattery syndrome".

Zhao: Is there SARS here? (big buckle giggle ...)

Zhao: I can't believe it can't be measured! ! Where are you going?

Big shot: Stay out of it!

Zhao: Why are you angry?

Big: It's a trap!

Zhao: What trap?

I watched you go in!

Zhao: Get out! ! I knew what you would say about me ... so many people said that everyone would hit you!

Big: Hum! I've been following you for a long time

Zhao: Don't scare me.

I fully understand your illness.

Zhao: Hey ... Do you know what my problem is? ...

According to my observation, (Zhao: Ah? ) You sexually harassed your female secretary for a long time.

Zhao: No, no, no, don't talk nonsense ... I'll tell you.

Rita: According to my investigation, are you a married woman yourself?

Zhao: No ... I'm married, but the female secretary doesn't have a boyfriend yet. ...

Big shot: That's none of your business. ...

Zhao: Well ... I ... I care about her. I ...

Rita: Are you related to her? (Zhao: Hey ...) You care about her. You send her a bottle of' Dabao SOD honey' every month?

Zhao: Then I'll tell her ... (Dabao: Hmm) See you tomorrow, Dabao ... No! Dabao, I will see you every day ... hey, hey, hey, hey ... we will see you every day.

Da: Then you send him a bottle of Huiren Shenbao every week.

Zhao: Hey, Baby Huiren, she's fine. (Burying his face) I'm fine ... hey hey hey.

David: Then you can give her a Xingshu capsule every day.

Zhao: Gee ... I don't understand! Stashu cares, he is nearby ... Hey, hello (learning Mandarin from foreigners) ... Hey, hey, hey, hey, do you miss me ... hahahahahaha. ...

Big: You see, this is a typical schizophrenia.

Zhao: No, I am romantic at best. I didn't even touch her hand.

Big: Hum! You went to her house that night, didn't you?

Zhao: Oh, you know this? ...

I've been following you.

Zhao: Oh, you can't blame me. ...

Big: What's the matter?

Zhao: After work that day, she invited me to her house in the evening.

Rita: She asked you out?

Zhao: Hey. ...

Big shot: What about you?

Zhao: I'll leave as soon as it gets dark ... gnome male-".

Rita: You can tell at a glance that he is an old hand.

Zhao: As soon as I entered the room, I saw her dressed cute and sexy. She said to me, "Today is your birthday, and there is no one else at home. Please get ready. Zhao pretends to be a female secretary and pounces on you. ) I'll wait for you in the bedroom. " (Ha ha, ha ha, ha ha), and then I went into the bedroom.

Big shot: What about you?

Zhao: Get ready at once!

Big shot: What else should we prepare for this? ...

Zhao: You don't understand this ... (Zhao: Oh ...) After finishing the preparatory work, I pushed the door (by hand) into the bedroom. This bedroom is dark. (big: that's for you to touch ...) suddenly! The lights in the dormitory are all on, and I see people in our unit crowded in the dormitory. They shouted "Happy birthday to you" with candles and cakes.

Big: How nice!

Zhao: What an honor! I turned my head and ran (running back and forth with my head buckled: ouch! )

Big shot: Where are you going?

Zhao: Stay out of it!

Big: Why are you angry?

Zhao: This is a trap! ! !

Big: What trap?

Zhao: I went in naked. ...

Rita: You are crazy! ! !

(Hit hard, miss, bow to the audience)