The worst diaosi, sister paper, because you have no menstruation and your nose is bleeding.

One day my mother was cooking at home, and suddenly the water pipe at home leaked, so she called the plumber. After a long time, she saw a worker coming and said, "What's the matter?" Mother said, "fortunately, the child learned to swim." worker ...

1, Xiaoming: Why has my father always opposed my puppy love? Fool: That's because your father is afraid to recall his failed past. Xiaoming: Then how did my mother marry my father? Fool: Soothe your father's broken heart.

2. A girl went to a computer dating agency and only saw her input: big face, thick neck, developed limbs, loud voice, poor memory, aversion to money and love jungle exploration. The computer jumped out with an answer: bear! !

3. When the car stopped at the intersection waiting for my friend, I got off the station and smoked at the intersection. Soon an old man came over and drew a circle next to me. Then he looked at me and pointed to the circle. I stood in the circle wondering. The old couple were cheated at that time, and then said, young man, I want to burn paper in the circle. Get out of the way, or you will be smoked.

4. What happened around you! A colleague in the company is a woman. She usually looks quite quiet! Incision ... At noon today, we chatted together and talked about delicious food! Turns out these idiots aren't cold. My boyfriend said I didn't taste good down there! Everyone sitting together laughed! ..... In fact, what she wants to say is that noodles are not delicious!

5. Xiao Wang: Why does the United States call itself the American emperor? Fool: There is a saying: American imperialists, master the core technology. Xiao Wang: Isn't it Gree? Fool: I have been imitating and have never been surpassed. China is the lever.

6, WeChat circle of friends, his friends are not your friends, you can't see his likes, you can't see comments, and you can't pretend to be B. No matter what the other party sends, qq has many comments, and some don't, so you can see how many friends he has. Is this an invasion of privacy?

7. One day, my daughter-in-law told me to buy a lot of beautiful clothes and asked me how much to give her. I said two pieces, so I was in a hurry and asked me why. I said you went to buy clothes by car, and the shopkeeper said the clothes were too thin, so you came back by car.

8. Fool: Everyone calls me a fool, and no one has the same name as me. Xiao Wang: Stop it. Fool: What's the matter? Xiao Wang: I don't know the idiot with the same name at school, and I make trouble every day. I was beaten by gangsters several times in the street.

9. Eating in the morning, my 4-year-old sister didn't want to eat, and she was afraid of her mother's beating, so she told her grandmother to go to the toilet and ran to the toilet to pretend to shit. After a while, grandma went to get paper to wipe her sister's ass. My sister said mechanically, "You close your eyes and count to ten, and I'll let you wipe …" So grandma closed her eyes and counted to ten. When she opened her eyes, she saw that her sister had lifted her pants and ran away. ...

10, Xiao Wang: Break up with the female ticket for three months. Recently she wants to have sex with me, but she doesn't want to get back together with me. If she is pregnant, whose is it? Fool: whoever pollutes, controls, develops and protects.

1 1, I said together, "One day, I was eating pie on the roof of a small house at home, and a man confessed downstairs. The man said' marry me', and the woman said' marry you, unless there is a pie in the sky!' "As a result, my classmate threw away the half pie without saying anything, and the result can be imagined.

12. I went home with my mother today. On the way, I saw a car with a cute pig on it. I pulled my mother and said, "Look at that pig, it's so kawaii!" " Mother gave me a faint look and said, "Don't be so happy at the sight of the same kind, others will laugh at me for leaving a monster who doesn't know whether it is a dog or a pig!" "Mom, I will never force it not to be your own!

13, I: "Look, I just won 1000 with someone," buddy: "Cool, what did you bet?" Me: "I bet him that he can run 800 meters with his girlfriend. This guy thought he could win with an inflatable one, hehe." Dude: "Hehe, what about your girlfriend?" Me: "Didn't she just show you the money?" Buddy: "..."

14, Beauty: Nowadays, boys are so frivolous that they talk to beautiful women when they meet them. Ordinary girls: Boys nowadays are a little introverted, but they obviously like it but don't express it. Ugly girl: Are boys not interested in women now? Full of gay feelings. Woman: Everyone thinks that boys nowadays are a little girly.

15, tell a true story, once LZ took a bus and came up with a girl with a slightly swollen belly and a slightly slow pace. I thought at that time: it may be pregnant, I have to give up my seat quickly; But on second thought, if my sister is just a little fat, wouldn't it hurt her heart if I gave up my seat like this? Is there a subtle and elegant way? After thinking about it, I finally thought of a sentence: Beauty, when was your last period ... Alas, your face still hurts.

16, my buddy went to the grave and lost his bag, which contained 20,000 yuan, so he had to go back and look for it. The cemetery is far away, and it's already dark when it comes back. The grave sweepers have all left, and my buddy didn't bring a flashlight. He looked around in the dark and met an old man who was burning paper alone. The dialogue is as follows: Grandpa, I'm looking for my money. Have you seen it? ..... Uncle, I'm really looking for money. Don't run. ...

17, two people went on a trip and found a hotel to rest on the way. "What kind of hotel is this? What a mess. Like a pigsty. How much is this room for one night? " Boss: "One end 18, two ends 18. Pay the money. "

18, a friend's child, very cute, asked him,' Do you want candy?' The little girl nodded and said yes. I said, call my sister and I'll give it to you. As a result, the little girl gave me a white look and said that such a big man still pretended to be pure. Me: ...

19, Lao Liu recently lost his hair badly, so he went to the doctor and said, "Do you have any good ways to keep my hair?" The doctor said enthusiastically, "No problem, you can take this." Then hand him an empty box.

20. Xiaoli: What are men afraid of? Fool: No wife's imprisonment. Xiaoli: What is that woman afraid of? Fool: Death without Korea.

2 1. Go to the canteen to eat today. I said to my aunt who cooks, "Aunt, I want cold noodles, medium-cooked. I want to lose weight and eat less." Aunt froze for a while. "Aunt in the canteen for more than ten years, I have seen with Chili sauce or something. This is the first time I have seen you mix manure, and it is also the first time I have heard of this way of losing weight. "

22. Huskies are taught badly. When they see someone lying, they go up and tear it up. Take it in and wrap it in a towel. The waiter knocked at the door to deliver the meal. "Hey, it looks good!" As soon as the words fell, the dog tore off my bath towel.

A true story happened in front of our vegetable market this morning. An aunt was buying vegetables, and a young man grabbed the bag and wanted to run. As a result, the aunt reacted quickly, pulled the bag back abruptly, and then threw a standard backpack directly at ko! Aunt said: young man, you have the wrong person … afterwards, I learned that aunt used to be a Japanese student studying judo, and the Japanese standard was eight paragraphs …

24. A boy and a girl in our class quarreled. The quarrel was fierce, so we went there to fight. The boy was dragged by us and couldn't start work, so he severely scolded the girl: I am the mother of your child. Not to be outdone, the girl said, I fucked your child's father. The whole class is boiling!

25. Xiaoming and his mother went shopping. Xiao Ming saw a cool person and asked his mother, "Mom, what is this?" Mom replied, "This is a cool guy." Then Xiao Ming saw a cool woman and asked his mother, "Mom, what is this?" Mother replied, "This is a cool girl." Xiaoming saw a cool old man again. Xiao Ming said, "Mom, I know. This is the waistband.

26. I have a date with my sister paper tomorrow. I will go to the cinema for a field trip. There is a coffee shop downstairs in the cinema. I will try to have a drink first, choose the best seat and explain the origin of the posters on Baidu wall one by one. Try some dishes in the western restaurant, find places where taxis often appear, always budget, and choose rooms in the hotel. After everything was ready, I was stood up

27. A gentleman opened a coffin shop. A man went to his shop to look at the goods and said, "Boss, what's the difference between this coffin and that coffin?" But look carefully, it makes no difference! When a gentleman heard this, he opened the lid of the coffin and said to the man, "You lie down and try." A coffin that costs twice as much is much more comfortable to sleep in. "

28, driving to a mental hospital to deliver things, not long after the tire burst, he was there to mend the tire, accidentally dropped the screw on the tire, he was very upset, mumbling to it. As a result, a mental patient passed by, looked at it and said, "Pull out a screw for each of your remaining three tires, then equip them, and then slowly drive to the city to find a shop to repair them." The man suddenly realized, "You are so smart, why did you come to a mental hospital?" . The patient said, "I am mentally ill, not stupid."

29. One day in class, a student said, "Teacher, my nose is bleeding." It happened that this girl had a problem with my idiot roommate. I saw that idiot roommate say, "My aunt is probably lost!" " Suddenly, the teachers all laughed ~

I chatted with a girl on the Internet the other day and asked me what you usually do. I said, I stay at home except at work. My sister said, it seems that you are an otaku. I said, sort of. My sister said, can we make friends? I said, all right. Then my sister came and said,' Why don't you come and play with me? At that time, I was anxious and asked him,' Are you insulting me? As an otaku, I should look like an otaku. How can I go out?

Editor's note: I remember that in junior high school, the exam was a seat change exam. I remember I changed the seat of a female classmate in my class. At that time, I had nothing to do after the exam, so I carved the words "I am strong, I am great" on her desk with a knife! After the exam, she saw a few words on the table and ran over to say thank you for my advice. I smiled and said, you can read it backwards if you have nothing to do. She ran back to see it and never spoke to me again.

Talking about the personality when menstruation comes

First, Big Wolf is like a period. Before leaving, she always said, I'll be back!

Second, I want to be a boy. I wish I were a boy. I have no menstruation, no dysmenorrhea and no bra. How nice!

Third, I used to be afraid that my period would come, but now I am afraid that my period will not come.

Fourth, when I get old, I won't even have my period anymore.

5. Now sanitary napkins have gone up by ten yuan a pack! I can't even get my period!

6. There are always some injuries that cannot be forgiven. There are always some people who dare not forget the desperate first love that fell into the abyss, and the unforgettable painful youth ends.

Seven, I like to worry too much, such as worrying about what to do when an ancient woman comes to her period, or I don't have a condom when that happens (I'm talking about my period again)

Eight, girls can tolerate dysmenorrhea every month, and they can tolerate it if they are broken. Why can't men stand the anodyne desire?

Nine, lying in the trough, do you think it is so simple for girls to bleed when they come to their period? Yes, she will have a stomachache and want to break bones.

You pushed me into the chair so mercilessly, regardless of my pain, and I was desperate.

1 1. The most free and easy person in the world is my period. Come whenever you want, and leave whenever you want.

Twelve, the original separation is now unbearable.

Thirteen, I hope that girls with dysmenorrhea all over the world can be gentle.

You are in my heart, and I will hold back the pain and pull you out.

Fifteen, it hurts when you come, and you don't want to come. When it doesn't come, I have to pay.

Sixteen, some people say that if you want to learn to love, you must learn to hurt.

Seventeen, now sanitary napkins have gone up by ten yuan a pack! I can't even get my period! ! ! ! !

Eighteen, I'm going to throw it away with my stomach buckled!

Nineteen, as long as you look back, I really want to forget all the pain and tolerate you.

Twenty, the pain of cutting the skin! I will feel dizzy with pain. I can't describe the pain! !

Twenty-one, the movie (holy wound) makes me feel all kinds of pains and joys in life. Trouble, sadness, jealousy and resentment all come from ourselves, because people are not vegetation, who can be ruthless?

22. Your heart is not the color of your period.

Twenty-three, talk too melodramatic, don't be really wronged, if I want money, I will change sex.

Do you think it's so simple for a girl to bleed when she has her period? Yes, she will have a stomachache and want to be frustrated.

Twenty-five, I am not you, I don't understand your sadness. I'm not you. You don't understand my pain.

Twenty-six, leave silence, pain, resentment and greed

Twenty-seven, when can I be like a girl except when I have my period? When I saw Jackson Yi!

Twenty-eight, dysmenorrhea talk about mood.

Twenty-nine, I want to buckle my stomach and throw it away!

Thirty, the hero who eats ice cream with her period is me.

Thirty-one, my heart is numb and I don't know the pain, but the thought of you still makes me breathless.

32. I finally found a question that Baidu didn't know: Do you know when I will have my period?

Thirty-three, wanting to love but not loving is like a needle piercing the skin and soul.

Time flies in my heart, and the pain is increasing day by day. Wave and turn around, bid farewell to youth, bid farewell to love, bid farewell to all the unreality, yes, we are gone forever.

Thirty-five, in a word: the hearts of dying overlap.

Thirty-six, cold+menstrual period+no shampoo = I am today.

37. Ice casts pain and sorrow. Who knows that I rise and fall alone and let the painful wind blow until the painful breathing can't?

Thirty-eight, the most painful expression turned out to be no emotion.

Thirty-nine, I'm very upset before my period. I can't control my time. It's a hooligan. I am also very upset that I can't lose weight. There are many things I haven't done well. I am very upset when I have less menstruation. In a word, I found that I like freedom and don't like being deprived of time by one thing.

Forty years later, I finally found a question that Baidu didn't know: Do you know when I will have my period?

My aunt's funny quotations

1, I'm not my period. I can come whenever I want. Honey, why are you menstruating again?

3. Mosquitoes are related to their periods!

When I get old, I won't even have my period.

If you menstruate again, you will be fired.

6. I drank too much red wine and changed my period.

7. Use your aunt's red to shine your pure white.

8. Love is like a period. It hurts once.

9. Wage is like a period: once you get pregnant, it's gone.

10, no matter how severe a woman is, she is not as severe as her period.

1 1, I always endure the pain of my period and chat with you.

12, the salary is like a period: often not on time!

13, you are more annoyed than your period.

14, my girlfriend has her period. I helped her buy sanitary napkins.

15, the hero who eats ice cream with him during his period is me.

16, auntie, why did you choose Children's Day?

17, the salary is like a period: I will panic at that time!

18, there is a kind of regret called sadness and a kind of beauty called menstruation.

19, I curse you for menstruating twice a year, once every six months.

20. The person who loves you the most is my aunt, who will come to see you every time.

2 1, red blood dyed the sheets red. Don't think it's aunt's blood.

22, wages are like a big aunt: when you reach retirement age, it will be gone soon!

23. Even my period will leave before a woman gets old, let alone a man.

24, the salary is like a big aunt, once, about a week.

25. The Five Classics and Four Classics told the Three Classics that their second aunt's menstruation was coming.

26, a woman who is not good to me, I curse you for being drained by Hu.

27. You have no idea how much I love you. It's like you don't know how painful your period is.

28. Wage is like a period: once a month, it will be gone in a week or so.

29. Come whenever you want, and stop your aunt.

30. I have my period and my stomach hurts. LG nervously asked what was going on.

3 1, salary is like a period: it hurts when it goes up!

32. Examinations are like a period. Sometimes it will be delayed for two days, but it will definitely come.

33. When my period torments me, I really feel that I am a girl.

34. Loving her means accidentally stopping her period and marrying her without hesitation.

35. The wolf is like a period. Before he left, he always said: I will come back!

36. Do you hate your period so much? Stay at your house for a few days before you go! Why are you so rude?

37. Well, my period is coming, and I still endure the pain and my girlfriends drive to drink milk tea in the wind and rain!

38. My period is like a wolf. When I leave, I always shout: I will definitely come back!

39. I feel bored when my period comes. If I don't come, I'll miss you? I'm bored when I come. It doesn't matter if you don't come.

40. I want to be a boy. I wish I were a boy. I have no menstruation, no dysmenorrhea and no bra. How nice!

4 1, a stupid and nice man, is when you come to your period, he bought you sanitary napkins and made your urine wet.

42. Actually, I don't want you to come every day. I just want to meet you occasionally, just like every time I have my period on time.

43. Do you think it's as simple as bleeding when a girl comes to her period? Yes, she will have a stomachache and want to be depressed.

44. Even my aunt who has been with me will disappear without a trace when I am 40 years old.

45. ouch How many times have I told you about my period? I am a woman, and so are you. Why are you pestering me?

46. Girl, find someone who will take care of you, love you and love you in the future. When your period comes, remember not to eat anything cold or spicy. Someone who can tie your shoelaces.

47. There is a man on the train. Suddenly a piece of paper flew to his face. He took the paper away. Huo said that this paper is quite powerful. I am bleeding!

48. The most handsome person in the world is her period. She can come whenever she wants, and she won't come if she doesn't want to. She will die if she doesn't come, and you will be annoyed if she comes. You have to bear it silently whether she comes or not. Admit it, listen to your period and be a good girl.

Talk about girls coming to qq to have their period.

Talk about girls coming to qq to have their period.

1. Why do they have their period every time they come out?

2. People will never die. I regret it now. I come to my period to eat, drink, run and exercise, and never eat snacks again. I must lose weight to 100 Jin before 12.

3. After a lapse of 14 months, I feel dead again. Vomiting and diarrhea, bedridden. I think my blood is running out.

4, it is often my period, or the grievances accumulated for many days broke out, and some temper can't stand it, and finally I can't stand it.

It's really hard to stand on the bus for an hour when I have my period.

6. The mouse said that every time I have my period, I feel depressed. Unfortunately, today is also very sad. ...

7. Why is there blood smell in your mouth when you come to menstruation?

8. I feel sleepy every time I come to my period. I don't want to sleep. I want to cheer up. I want to have a class. I want to have a class.

9. There is no need to sell yourself short. It doesn't matter if you think too much The key is to get out of your own mind and not be confined to a corner. It is not good to stay up late during menstruation! good night

10. Every time I come to my period, I feel that I have become a balloon filled with a cup of hot water forever. My brain is turned off and I only know how to stuff things into my mouth.

1 1. What a good ancestor. He has only slept for three hours and eaten milk for three hours. Finally, he picked him up and walked around the room before falling asleep. Can he not have bloating? Why are you so grumpy today? Do you want to have your period?

12, I feel that every time I come to my period, I am reborn with a golden light on my head.

13, my supervisor never makes mistakes, but as an assistant, I always make mistakes that I don't even know. It is a stupid mistake to make mistakes, to have a period every day and to enter menopause early. .

14, it hurts so much that I can't sleep at night every time I come to my period.

15, take cold medicine in the morning and fenbid for abdominal pain during menstruation. And now I'm dizzy and I'm going to faint.

16, I feel that my period is coming. I am very angry these days.

17, menstruation's face is so bloodless, so sad.

18, girl, you can't go to the hot springs during your period, you know. Wet painting is very difficult, and the moisture control of mixed color is not good.

19, every time I come to my period, I get a little red dot ~ I keep sweating without turning on the air conditioner, and it keeps getting cold with turning on the air conditioner. Oh, my God, Lulu, I'm dying.

20. The sky in Wuhu is so blue, I want to go out. Life outside is what I want, but when I feel a sense of belonging at home, I feel as agitated as my period.

2 1, suddenly found himself busy for a month without making jokes, feeling as nervous as not having my period.

22, the day after tomorrow, come to my period today to catch up with high-intensity training. It was eleven yesterday. What time is it today? It is really dizzy to hear that the Spring Festival Gala will be held again this year. It's really about getting together.

23. My period is coming. I want to eat oranges, but Teacher Su won't let me. I said you should give it to me while it's hot. He did it. I ate it.

24. Every time I come to my period, my stomach hurts two thigh roots. I want a boyfriend at this time.

25. Dry this bowl of red dates, longan, angelica, dried ginger, brown sugar and black bean soup. If I don't have my period again, I'll eat the pot.

26. It's like when I have my period, a bomb will detonate at any time, and then the heroine of Qiong Yao Opera House will rain in minutes. After my period left, I can't remember anything. Five words are impossible in the sky.

27. You finally got your period today. Your period won't come for a week.

28. I heard that after drinking this bowl of fairy water, it won't hurt when I have my period.

29. It seems that I will have my period, too. One second I feel like a tiger saving the world, and the next I feel like the world's number one. I choose not to play.

30. Every time my sister comes to my big brother in menstruation, she looks very happy. It should be because I can't bully him during my stay in menstruation!

3 1, finally I can go to work in snowy days without going back and forth for four or five hours, without seeing my low-pressure face, and finally I can make a quiet phone call without anyone looking for me, and finally I can feel severe pain for a while when I come to my period. Yes, I finally really left, and my inner joy is beyond words.

32. I have a stupid male ticket, and every time I come to my period. Be sure to buy red dates. . What a straight man.

33. It is unreasonable for a girl to go to class on the big night when her period is in shock, but she will not be killed by money when she goes out! ! ! !

If I die this afternoon, I must have died of dysmenorrhea. Just come to my period on Thursday. It happened that dysmenorrhea happened on Thursday afternoon. It happened that the health check was conducted on Thursday afternoon. It happened that there should be no one in the dormitory when checking the hygiene. Everything is so unfortunate.

35. Menstruation is more painful today than before. I feel terrible in the office. I threw up all over the floor before I left the company. Tomorrow, the grandfathers of the security department will definitely hit me. My mother came to pick me up and lay for a long time. Much better now. At night, I saw the fried meatballs made by my grandmother, and my mouth watered all over the floor. The old man should always be healthy.

36. I don't know what happened to me early in the morning. Not looking in the mirror? Why don't you clean yourself up when you are already a dirty thief? If you don't look in the mirror, why did you buy it? It's really puzzling. It's rare that I didn't lose my temper during my menstrual period this time, and insisted on deliberately finding gas for me in the last two days.

37. Every day, I feel that I have my period. This feeling is really maddening. Fuck, I can't even find a napkin. Nobody can help me. I have less and less confidence in myself. I don't know what I can do. I can't even let go. I will dream about you every day, learn to do what I like and listen to my favorite songs, so I will get better.

Before I got my period, I ate all kinds of things crazily. Now I don't want to eat anything that hurts after I first came here. How can I get a normal meal? I'm already dead.

39. It's so sad in broad daylight. . . Don't believe what girls say when they come to their period.

40, holiday, a little tired. I have just joined the company in recent days, and I have to study again. It is normal to work overtime. I just had my period yesterday and I'm exhausted today. We must summarize and finish it in the early afternoon. It's good to take the shuttle bus to the headquarters for fitness, that is, running. I have to move.

4 1, the library is out of water, so it takes courage to go to the toilet. Many of them are blood red, which scares the baby. It is stipulated here that babies must enter the same posture when they have their period.

42. Every night before I go to bed, I feel so angry that I want to swear. I didn't have my period the next day and continued to be constipated. I was really crazy at that time, torturing myself with other people's costumes.

43. You don't have to go to work when you have your period, but you will be happy after the pain.