The feeling of a woman who has been married for 20 years: No woman likes to be a "bitch" in marriage.

Illustration | From the Internet

Do you want to be kind?

I'm sure many people will tell you. Because kindness is the foundation of people. But there is a difference between when people should be kind and when they should not be too kind.

For example, in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, mother-in-law is strong and overbearing. At this time, the daughter-in-law is too kind and likes to tolerate everything, but she dare not compliment in this relationship because she is easily bullied.

However, if the daughter-in-law shows a tough side in the face of her mother-in-law's deliberate embarrassment, will she be bullied less?

The answer is yes.

Most mother-in-law likes to bully her daughter-in-law. On the one hand, she feels that the other side is on the opposite side of the enemy, on the other hand, she feels that her daughter-in-law is a mistress, and bullying her will not be bullied.

Once a mother-in-law meets a daughter-in-law who is more powerful than herself, many mother-in-law dare not be bad to her daughter-in-law. Not that I don't want to, but that I dare not.

When should a woman be kind in a relationship?

When the husband you associate with is a good man, honest and enterprising, and devoted to raising his wife and children, the wife should also repay each other's efforts through love and kindness.

However, if a husband finds a third party, should he be kind to an unfaithful husband and an arrogant third party? Of course not, because you are already bullying the weak. If you are kind, I'm afraid the bad guys will feel better.

When a woman is wronged in marriage, don't try to save a man's heart with kindness, because the lower your posture, the less you will be taken seriously.

No woman likes to be a bitch in marriage.

If you see a gentle and lovely girl, after marriage, she becomes a "bitch" that everyone hates. It must be because of the unfortunate marriage that she was forced to become such a person.

Sister Yu is my former colleague. She is 45 years old and has been married to her husband for 20 years. Her daughter 18 years old, just admitted to the university. No one who knows my sister will say that she is a loving mother, because she is very "provocative" and has a loud voice. In short, she is a difficult woman to offend.

Originally, I thought that Sister Yu had always been such a character, until once the company organized a group building activity, and Sister Yu and I were accidentally assigned to a group. During the three-day and two-night trip, I talked a lot with Sister Yu and got to know something about her.

When Yu Jie was 25 years old, she married her current husband. At that time, Yu Jie's mother-in-law thought that her family was average and came out to stop the marriage. Later, Yujie became pregnant unexpectedly, and her husband's family had to accept her.

Sister Yu was a beautiful girl when she was young, and her personality was very gentle. Her husband took a fancy to her two points, but after she got married, her personality changed a lot.

After many years of marriage, my mother-in-law has been looking for a new object for her son, but she has turned a blind eye to her eldest sister's daughter. At first, Yujie thought that as long as she was patient and good enough for her in-laws, she believed that her mother-in-law would accept her one day.

But she obviously thinks too much, and her mother-in-law doesn't like her, which is completely manifested in her face. Even her daughter has never enjoyed her grandmother's love.

What impressed Yu Jie most was that her daughter was sick in the middle of the night and her husband was away on business. She took her daughter to the hospital alone. Because the money was not enough, she called her in-laws, hoping that they could help her pay in advance. Her mother-in-law didn't even listen, so she hung up.

From that moment on, Sister Yu's mentality changed.

Since it's no use talking about it, welcome her. As long as she meets something related to her daughter in the future, she will definitely fight for it. In the end, Yu Jie, who doesn't like quarreling, has become a "difficult" woman after years of marriage experience.

Why do you say that kindness can only be bullied in marriage?

In marriage, there is an interesting word called "forbearance". Many people think it's no big deal to be wronged, just bear it; It doesn't matter if you are bullied by your mother-in-law, just bear it; Even in the face of her husband's betrayal, women feel that it is enough to keep their marriage intact as long as they can endure it.

As everyone knows, all marriages that start with "patience" are because of your "excessive kindness".

In marriage, when should I endure it?

Be patient when you find that there is something wrong with the other person's three views. This forbearance is to endure the differences with each other, rather than being bullied and suppressed because of this difference.

Be patient when you find the triviality of marriage.

This kind of forbearance is the inherent mode of lasting marriage, which is to endure the dullness in marriage, rather than the verbal or even action attacks brought by triviality.

There is a word called "the law of the jungle", which literally means that the meat of the weak can only be the food of the strong. Since ancient times, it is common for the weak to be suppressed by the strong, as well as in feelings.

Your kindness is your weakness.

So those who don't like you and want to bully you will bully you as long as they find the opportunity. For some people, bullying can make them feel good, so they are happy.

The reason why one person wants to bully another person must be because you are easy to bully. So if you become difficult to bully, will you still bully you?

As someone said, your kindness must be sharp.

Kindness is good, but don't be kind. Show your edge at the right time. At least in this way, people who want to bully you will be afraid, because when they want to bully you, they will think: Is it worth it?

Marriage contains humanity and interests. Anyone who enters marriage will consider what he can gain and what he will lose.

The point is, if you want to know how to protect what you don't want to lose and how to try to get what you want, maybe you will be more sure of the way to go in the future.

The best defense is actually attack. In order to protect the people we love, it is actually a kind of self-protection to attack like a female warrior when necessary.

Remind married women not to be too kind in marriage, because every compromise you make is actually leaving others an opportunity to hurt you.

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