Two-person funny skit

Blind test "-character A of two funny sketches, the rural elderly 6 1 year-old is a patient with rheumatism for many years or has severe presbyopia. Character b, a drug tester, is also highly myopic, with myopia degree 1250 degrees. ) Copyright Strategy Network (Scene, A walks on the stage, holding him with a cane in his hand, walking while walking) Copyright Strategy Network A: I have suffered from rheumatism for many years; Spent all the money at home to see a doctor; No choice but to borrow money to see a doctor; Tell me about the patient's life! Recently, I heard that there is a medicine called "Zhuishuandan", which can treat: "Bone hyperplasia and rheumatoid arthritis, and any viscera can also treat AIDS". I want to buy some to try. I've been looking for it for a long time. According to the address, this is the place to sell medicine! (A slowly pushes the door into the house and sees B lying on the ground touching something. The old man was dazzled, but he said he didn't see what it was. ) # China, China, China: Why do you want a dog in this place where medicines are sold? Oh, my God, what is this? Not small! (At this moment, B crawls towards A, and A yells at B's ass with one foot) Go, bite me and kick you to death!

Oh, my God! Who is kicking me!

Oh, my God! Look at my eyes, this is not a person! (hastily apologizes) I'm terribly sorry! My eyes are bad. I looked at everything one by one. I mistook you for that thing

B: (standing up slowly) What do you do?

A: I'm a rheumatism patient. I'm here to buy medicine. Are you the agent of the manufacturer of "Death Pills"?

B:(B heard that he came to buy medicine, thinking that business was coming, and answered with a smile) Yes! Old comrades came to us to find a stool to sit down and talk (b groping for a stool to sit down)

B: Come and sit down, old comrades! (A also found a stool to sit down)

What were you doing on the ground just now? I thought you were going to bite me!

B: Oh! This is all a misunderstanding, isn't it? I am nearsighted. I can't find my glasses just now. I'm almost blind without them. I just touched my glasses. Ceba。 com

A: Oh! You are even more blind than me. Why are you here alone?

B: There's another one. I went to the patient to shoot an advertisement. The fewer people, the smaller the expenses!

A: Oh! It is broadcast every afternoon. Those patients say this medicine is a god! I don't know whether this medicine is useful or not!

Now you are right. Let me tell you something about pharmacology!

Then tell me.

Do you know how the drug "Death Pill" is made?

I don't know

B: To tell you the truth, this "death pill" is extracted from turtle eggs!

A: Tortoise eggs?

B: This is what people call a tortoise.

A: Oh! I see, your medicine was extracted from an asshole! Right?

B: you can almost say that!

A: What good things can this son of a bitch have?

B: Let me ask you first: Does this bastard live long?

A: Dragon! A thousand-year-old turtle!

B: Think again. Turtles often live in water. Why can't it get rheumatism in such a humid place? Ceba。 com

A: I'm not sure. Only the tortoise knows if he is wet!

B: You didn't study medicine. Of course you don't know. To tell you the truth, that's because the turtle contains a kind of rheumatism antibody! We just extracted this antibody and made it into a "death pill". Do you understand this time?

A: Oh! I have lived most of my life, and I know that bastard is a bad thing. I didn't expect bastards to be so useful these days!

B: You're right. It's very useful!

A: Your leaflet says: "Free test first, then buy medicine". Where is the test site?

B: Oh! I'm an inspector, right here.

A: What about you?

Why, you still don't believe me. I graduated from a regular medical school. Can't you see my eyes are so big? They are all studying!

A: It's not that I don't believe you, but that you don't wear glasses. How do you test them?

B: I have a lot of experience in medical treatment. It doesn't matter if I don't wear glasses. Selling medicine is very important. I mean, take medicine early and get healthy early! So as not to fall asleep! Copyright ceba. com

A: All right! Let's get started. How to check?

B: We'll check it from three aspects and then give you a diagnosis. Listen to me!

A: OK! Whatever you say.

B: I'll take a drop of blood from your ear first to see your blood viscosity! (B touches it and takes out a plate and a knife from the drawer) Put your ears out!

A: (muttering) I'm not sure. . . . . . I don't seem sure. . . . . .

B: Relax!

A: Only fools relax. Sucking my blood doesn't mean sucking your blood! (A leaned his head slowly, and B touched and grabbed A's ear. )

I'm going to draw blood. Do not move! I've only heard of it, ah! 1, A's ear was cut by B, and the blood kept flowing out)

Doctor, I heard wrong just now! Do you take a drop of blood or a catty of blood?

Didn't I tell you not to move? Why do you always tremble?

A: Your eyes, everyone must tremble!

B: All right! Enough blood, cover your ears with a cloth, (A covers your ears with a cloth and keeps talking) # Zeba.com.

A: What's enough blood? I think it's too much!

B: Now kneel on the bed with your hands behind your back and your head facing west. After reading the blood viscosity, I'll go over and test the second item for you.

A: (walking slowly to the bed and talking to himself:) My ear hurts. What is heading east and west? What a thing!

B: (After a while, B gropes to the bed and touches A's ass.) Lift it up! (A cock his hips) Why does this old man wear such a big mask? His face is big enough! Take off the mask!

A: A mask? I'm not wearing a mask. Wow, doctor, you are mistaken! That's my ass! My head is here!

B: Look at you. Didn't I tell you that your head went west? Why are you in a hurry to go west? (B touches A's head, presses A's cervical vertebra several times, and says to A) Now you say, Ah!

A: (A says in a trembling voice) Ah!

B: (B said sternly) It's too serious!

A: (A asks the doctor) Doctor, it seems that rheumatism is not checked like this, right?

B: Listen to me! Come down. Copyright ceba. com

A: (A slowly gets out of bed) Not bad, I can't tell my face from my ass!

B: Come here and I'll take your pulse. Give me your left hand!

Doctor, I can't use my left hand.

B: If I say yes, I'll take my left hand. Never heard of male left and female right! (a) I can't stick my left arm out. B) How many years have you had rheumatism?

Alas, I have been suffering from rheumatism for many years! When I was very young, my mother told me that I had rheumatism. It's windy and rainy, and my leg hurts badly! The older you get, the more serious your illness is!

Oh, come on, I have learned about your illness through the examination just now and my pulse!

So what is my diagnosis?

B: According to my years of experience and the length of your illness, I can conclude that you are a typical "congenital postpartum rheumatism"!

A: Ah! What do you think from my context?

Your blood vessels are unstable. Take the resurrection pill! Promise me you won't hurt any more! This article is from ceba. com。

A: What if it still hurts?

B: Then you can keep eating, promise! One day the pain will slowly disappear!

I see. You mean it won't hurt if you die!

What is this?

Doctor, you are really a great doctor. I admire you so much. The arm you just felt my pulse is a prosthesis! (A turns and walks out, keeps saying) What good things can be squeezed out of a bastard! I think you and your medicine are the same, both extracted from bastards!

B: Old comrades! I have not finished my words yet. . . . . . !