A woman’s sadness in her marriage: her mother-in-law favors her brother and sister-in-law, but her husband’s silence is golden

My neighbor Li Kai’s family has been quarreling every day during the Chinese New Year. Because there is only a wall between them, and people in the village have loud voices when they quarrel, we can hear them clearly when they quarrel. Every time at this time, my mother-in-law would say: This little daughter-in-law is not sweet-tongued and won't get into trouble. I can't blame my mother-in-law for being partial. I always smile and don't answer because I don't quite agree with what my mother-in-law says. Text | Hu Xiaoguai, Picture | Internet

In fact, the conflict between Wang Juan and her mother-in-law has existed from the beginning. In the final analysis, it is because of things like house and money. The mother-in-law feels that she is not partial, and the younger daughter-in-law feels that her mother-in-law is partial, and they have been arguing for many years. The mother-in-law is getting old, and the younger daughter-in-law sees that there will be more and more quarrels over money in the future, so she wants to take advantage of this time to make it clear.

Li Kai and Wang Juan fell in love in college, and their relationship has always been good. Because their hometown is the same city, they are not worried about any conflicts in marriage. Anyway, they are just like most people. . The two of them thought about getting married after graduation, but Wang Juan's parents did not agree with this marriage at first because Li Kai had an older brother. After her mother inquired about it, she still knew that her mother-in-law was partial to her eldest son. of.

But we all know that people who are immersed in love cannot listen to these words. Wang Juan insisted on getting married, but her parents couldn't resist their daughter and reluctantly agreed. After the wedding, Wang Juan and his wife went to Shanghai, as they had promised, ready to take root here and build a career. Li Kai's mother told him after he got married that I would follow your brother in my old age, and the old house at home would belong to your brother. I don't expect you to take care of you two, so I'll give you living expenses. If you give me more, it won't be in vain that I gave birth to you.

Li Kai was stunned for a moment and agreed, but Wang Juan was a little unhappy. She felt that even if they were far away and couldn't take care of the elderly, giving them living expenses was still a way of taking care of them. Why should the old house in the family be given to the eldest son. Besides, does my mother-in-law really not need their care at all in the future? However, because she had just gotten married, she didn't say anything to her mother-in-law, and she didn't agree or disagree. On the way to Shanghai, she and Li Kai talked about her mother-in-law being partial.

To be honest, there is no absolute fairness between parents and their children, or between brothers and sisters. Since we are relatives and not strangers, there is affection. This affection means that when we encounter some things, we can be more tolerant and compromise. As long as it is not a matter of principle, we should not care too much. Although Wang Juan complained, she still managed to pay her monthly living expenses and did not stop Li Kai from going back to her hometown to see her mother from time to time.

During the first few years when the two came to work in Shanghai, my mother-in-law was still quite strong. There happened to be work that she could do in the village, and her mother-in-law was also a hard-working person. After going back and forth, I made a lot of money in a few years. Wang Juan naturally knew about this. She felt that she had provided living expenses and her husband usually went back to see her mother-in-law. She would naturally be able to share half of the money her mother-in-law earned. She felt that she was being fair and didn't ask for much, but her mother-in-law refused to give it. The mother-in-law took this money, plus her own savings over the years, to sell the old house and build a new building.

Wang Juan was not happy and said that it was partial to give the old house to her eldest brother. Now it has been replaced by a new house with two rooms. Naturally, one room for each of her two sons. She said: Mother-in-law, you can't be so partial. They are all your sons. You can't make money but spend it all on one son. But my mother-in-law said, I live with their family and I bought this house for myself. What does it have to do with you? If you are unhappy, divorce my son and find someone who can give you a house.

My mother-in-law said at that time that if this little daughter-in-law had a sweet mouth and said more nice things, maybe her mother-in-law could give her some. But I feel that no matter how sweet-mouthed Wang Juan is, her mother-in-law will never think of her. Because after all, it was because my mother-in-law felt sorry for her eldest son. She felt from the bottom of her heart that her eldest son's family had suffered a loss by taking care of her, so she wanted to make up for it.

She doesn’t care whether her younger son and his wife are having a hard time living outside. They can’t even pay their monthly living expenses even one day late. From time to time, she will find various excuses to ask for money.

Even when her younger son needed a loan to buy a house and was short of money, she said she had no money, but turned around and built a new building. The younger daughter-in-law said that she would not be able to go to work with the children, and hoped that her mother-in-law could come and help take care of the children for a year or two, but she was unwilling and said that she had to help her eldest son with the housework. In short, it is impossible for the younger daughter-in-law to want her mother-in-law to help.

Her mother-in-law always complained that her youngest son was away from home and could not take care of her. But at least the agreed-upon living expenses are never less. During the holidays, I give red envelopes and buy gifts, and I don’t completely ignore you. You don't have to act like I won't count on you in the future, so don't expect me to help you now. Are you so sure that your eldest son and his wife will treat you well in the future?

In fact, Grandma Wang Juan said that her younger daughter-in-law had no conscience every day. She said it so much that the eldest son and his wife also agreed with this truth. They feel at ease and don't have to pay for living expenses. As a family of three, they eat and use the elderly's food, and then they even think about asking their younger brother to pay more for living expenses. With such an attitude, when his mother gets old, it is impossible for him not to let his brother take responsibility. It is probably not possible to give him money. He must not only give money but also take care of her.

Didn’t this quarrel illustrate this problem? Because the old man was sick and hospitalized, Li Kai paid half of the money. Later, he paid a few hundred less to the caregiver because he suddenly ran out of money. His sister-in-law was not happy and insisted on letting him give it. Li Kai's mother also helped her eldest daughter-in-law. As a result, Wang Juan found out. When Wang Juan heard this, she became angry. Forget about sharing the medical expenses equally, why should she ask her family for the money for the nurse.

She said: Mother-in-law, you said at the beginning that your brother and sister-in-law took care of you, so the house at home was given to them, and you also gave them your savings. Then shouldn't your eldest son and his wife take care of you when you're hospitalized? Why do you need to hire a caregiver? That's fine, don't ask my family for money. If you want me to give you this money, then I will get half of this house, and it will be your son. You can't be so partial.

When her mother-in-law heard this, she sneered and said, "I'm just biased. What can you do? You have to give me the money, and you have to give it if you don't. Otherwise, I will call your company." Anyway, the quarrel started like this, and the quarrel lasted for several days, but no one was willing to compromise. In fact, as long as one of the two brothers takes a step back and makes peace, the matter will be over. But no one said anything, probably because they felt that they were right.

This time I didn’t smile like before and didn’t answer. I told my mother-in-law this time: This matter actually has nothing to do with Wang Juan’s sweetness. In the final analysis, it is Li Kai’s problem. He should understand his wife. No matter how much Wang Juan complained, she never gave him the money. What she wants is nothing more than an attitude from an old man, even if you think you can't get it. Then if you want to give it, just give it, and then take your wife away. Think about it clearly in the future and take care of your own family.

Don’t expect your wife to fight for your interests for you. After all, no matter how much she talks, it can’t compare to a word from you. Don’t think that your brother shouldn’t care about you. After all, it was your brother who argued with you first. We can't help it if our parents are partial to us. We still have to rely on ourselves to live well and comfortably. But sometimes, we also need to let the other party know that your concession is based on friendship, rather than giving foolishly and making the other party take it for granted.