Zhao Benshan sketch script urgent! I want to have a family, a small family and a happy family.

Cui Yongyuan: Hello, ladies and gentlemen. Now you are watching the special program "Xiao Cui tells things" on CCTV. I'm trav, the host. 2008 has a special meaning for everyone. Our country will hold the Olympic Games soon, and many ordinary people have participated. No, these two old people are rehearsing, so I invited them to interview. There are two old people here-Uncle Black Soil and Aunt Baiyun.

Yangko sounded, Song Dandan and Zhao Benshan danced yangko and sang "Come on, white clouds and black soil, win more medals in the Olympics". The land of China is changing every day, and everyone contributes to the Olympic Games ... 1212 ... "Zhao Benshan accidentally twisted his waist.

Zhao Benshan: Ouch! Stop, this waist is failing.

Cui Yongyuan: Slow down, uncle. Are you okay sitting here?

Zhao Benshan: No way. As I get older, my teeth are getting worse and worse, my body is rotting, and no one at home loves me!

Song Dandan: I am so kind to you at home. I eat pork loin every day, and my stomach is bulging, and you still come here to complain! Obviously not from the heart. You said that the Olympic Games will be held soon, and I expect you to shine in the Olympic Games. !

Cui Yongyuan: We welcome uncles and aunts to enter the studio again! (Applause, two people waved to say hello to the audience) This is the third time you have faced our camera and audience. Over the past few years, everyone has also had a detailed understanding and understanding of the two. Please say hello and say a few words.

Zhao Benshan: The 17th National Congress of the Communist Party of China is full of spring breeze, which is the high technology of the Olympic year. The Goddess Chang'e flying to the moon is really disappointing. Shaanxi Tiger is fake. thank you

Cui Yongyuan: Uncle is still the same. Where's auntie?

Song Dandan: Hello, fans all over the country! When the new year comes, the golden mouse smiles. Some problems are extremely serious. Blue algae appear in Taihu Lake, and house prices are alive and kicking. The government should take measures to coordinate, and Taiwan Province Province should not fiddle around. thank you

Cui Yongyuan: On New Year's Day, please don't say unhappy things. In 2008, our country will hold the Olympic Games. Our topic today is "Talking about the Olympics" ...

Zhao Benshan: Speaking of the Olympiad, he is a child without a mother. It's a long story Xiao Cui, I'm telling you, uncle, I crossed the north and ran over my leg on the train track. The Yangtze River and the Yellow River have drunk water and kissed two widows next door, but they have never experienced the Olympic Games! I used to want to sleep when I mentioned the meeting, but now I'm excited when I mentioned the meeting!

Song Dandan: So you can't take part in the Olympic Games.

Cui Yongyuan: Why?

Song Dandan: Against doping.

Cui Yongyuan: What about you, Aunt?

Song Dandan: (emotionally) Xiao Cui, once in a lifetime, time flies, and the Olympic Games is this once! You told the Olympic Organizing Committee that I would be an Olympic ambassador even if I had plastic surgery and liposuction!

Cui Yongyuan: My aunt's feelings really touched me. I'll contact the Olympic Organizing Committee later and see if they can give me another quota!

Zhao Benshan: Come on. Just her image? Where is the station? -Grandma Furong! How is the ambassador?

Cui Yongyuan: Ah, uncle can't say that. I think my aunt is in good shape now. Does she really smell like Sister Furong?

Song Dandan: Xiao Cui dares to tell the truth! To tell the truth, if I were 50 years younger, I would still chase Liu Xiang. !

Zhao Benshan: If you can catch up with Liu Xiang, you can also break the world record!

Cui Yongyuan: I didn't expect Raul to be so old, and he is familiar with celebrities!

Song Dandan: Yes! Nowadays, the life of our common people is getting better and better. I can also go to Tieling to sell onions, beauty and idolization. However, since Zhao Zhongxiang retired from the Jianghu, I have been looking for someone to fill the idol gap in my heart.

Cui Yongyuan: Did you find it?

Song Dandan: Here it is. (Shyly) It's Zhou Zhenglong, the Tiger Red Man!

Zhao Benshan: Come on, that old man is more sophisticated than me! If you like him, I like Tang Wei!

Cui Yongyuan: It's a little beside the point. Uncle, get to the point and continue our Olympic topic. ...

Zhao Benshan: My affection for the Olympic Games goes back to ancient times. I remember that China's successful bid for the Olympic Games was in July 200 1, 13.

Cui Yongyuan: Uncle has a good memory.

Zhao Benshan: I watched TV with two widows next door that night and won the bid. She hugged and kissed me. ...

Song Dandan: Stop filming. It hurts my self-esteem. Let's go! (getting up to go)

Zhao Benshan: Why did you bring it up again when you were so happy?

Song Dandan: Do you think this is a person? Is it shameful to lose it?

Cui Yongyuan: My parents seldom talk. It's all my fault. I shouldn't ask about the private lives of celebrities. The director will choke this purr later. Don't play it.

Song Dandan: Why are you uneducated? (Come back and sit down)

Cui Yongyuan: It's my fault. Please calm down, auntie. I heard that you also wrote a song specially for the Olympic Games, madam?

Song Dandan: Yes, it's called Olympic Moon.

Cui Yongyuan: Why does it sound so awkward?

Song Dandan: Let me explain something to you. This Olympic Games is like the daughter-in-law of China people. When she is finally married into the house, she should take good care of her like a baby and a daughter-in-law. So I wrote one Olympic song after another in my mind.

Cui Yongyuan: Oh, that's what it means? I see.

Song Dandan: He is a literate person, and he understands quickly!

Cui Yongyuan: Then you are welcome to sing for us all the time. What did you say?/Sorry? (Applause)

Song Dandan: (Love Till Death Do Us Part begins ... Singing ...)

Come and watch the Olympic Games early.

Do you know how many generations we have been waiting for?

How deep does it feel?

Just like being in love.

My heart is surging

If you marry a daughter-in-law, you must love.

Everyone understands this truth.

Foreigners are welcome to join hands.

Put the Olympic Games

Waiting for a month as a daughter-in-law

Who doesn't understand

I was so anxious that my tears came down. ...

Zhao Benshan: (stands up and pulls Song Dandan) Wife, you are so talented! I love you so much!

Cui Yongyuan: Great! Aunt is really versatile!

Zhao Benshan: So judge a book by its cover. The sea is always cold.

Song Dandan: Actually, when I was young, I sang much better than Chris Lee, but I was illiterate and blind, so I failed to become a singer and went to the wrong door and became a writer.

Zhao Benshan: You should keep a low profile. I think you should stay at home.

Cui Yongyuan: Uncle and aunt, what have you been up to at home recently? This time, uncle, you go first!

Zhao Benshan: I'm studying several topics recently.

Cui Yongyuan: What are the topics?

Zhao Benshan: For example, are the photos of tigers in South China true or false? The change of national leaders? Cross-strait reunification and Iran issue. And the Olympic Games, the launch time of Shenzhou VII. ...

Cui Yongyuan: Just a moment, please! Is this topic too big? Is there anything specific?

Zhao Benshan: Small? Yes, Xiao Cui, aren't we going to hold a green Olympics in Beijing?

Cui Yongyuan: Yes.

Zhao Benshan: Can you talk to the Olympic Organizing Committee? I want to sell them some radishes and cabbage.

Cui Yongyuan: Still ogling you? Uncle, I can't help you with this! But you can take part in the procurement organized by them.

Zhao Benshan: What is purchasing?

Cui Yongyuan: Purchasing refers to enterprises ...?

Song Dandan: Daigou is what people just bought! Why are thieves uneducated?

Cui Yongyuan: Yes, they have already bought it.

Zhao Benshan: Oh. Late? !

Cui Yongyuan: What has Auntie been up to recently?

Song Dandan: The day before yesterday, I cut the ribbon for an old garden community in our county. Yesterday, I passed by Tianjin to unveil the completion ceremony of an underground tunnel. I'm going to Tieling to watch a performance tomorrow. There will be an exclusive interview with reporters next week. At the end of the year, I will play a role in the Dream of Red Mansions.

Cui Yongyuan: What's the effect?

Zhao Benshan: Playing Jia Mu, what else can you play?

Song Dandan: Who said I played Jia Mu?

Zhao Benshan: By the way, you are not fit to play Jia Mu. Look at your figure and temperament. It's perfect to play granny Liu.

Song Dandan: What's Granny Liu playing? Do you blame me for wanting to play Lin Daiyu?

Zhao Benshan: Playing Lin Daiyu? How old are you? Lin Daiyu was younger than you when she died.

Cui Yongyuan: Uncle can't say that. Actually, my aunt is very beautiful now.

Song Dandan: What's wrong with getting old? Let me ask you something. What's wrong with getting old? Liu Xiaoqing can play a little girl, why can't I? !

Cui Yongyuan: Let's not talk about it. Aunt, you should also take care of yourself. Your health is the capital of the revolution.

Zhao Benshan: Xiao Cui is right. A man's body is the capital of revolution, and a woman's body is the capital of fame.

Song Dandan: You are jealous! When I become an Olympic ambassador, I will shoot TV and be the host, so as not to make you angry!

Zhao Benshan: (covering her stomach) I have a stomachache!

Cui Yongyuan: I think uncle and aunt have so many social activities that you should support her.

Zhao Benshan: What entertainment? Does your aunt think she is a star? Who is looking for her?

Cui Yongyuan: Aunt said that she gave it to a garden community in the county the day before yesterday?

Zhao Benshan: Cut the ribbon in the garden community or something. There is only one in the botanical garden area. What ribbon-cutting Help people cut leaves!

Cui Yongyuan: Yesterday, my aunt unveiled the completion ceremony of an underground tunnel in Tianjin?

Zhao Benshan: So I passed by my relatives' house and dug a vegetable cellar for them.

Cui Yongyuan: How about visiting Tieling tomorrow?

Zhao Benshan: A restaurant opened and asked her to dance 30 yangko songs a day.

Song Dandan: After tax!

Cui Yongyuan: But next week, a reporter will give an exclusive interview to my aunt.

Zhao Benshan: Well, this interview is true.

Cui Yongyuan: Really?

Zhao Benshan: Since the song "Olympic Month" came out, some people accused her of infringing intellectual property rights. The reporter came to interview her feelings.

Song Dandan: Hello, I'm too lazy to talk about you. Trav, let me tell you something. He posted a lot of UFO photos on his blog a while ago!

Zhao Benshan: Forget that. (head buried in leg)

Cui Yongyuan: I saw it online. I heard it was taken in your yard!

Song Dandan: To tell you the truth, Cui, that's one of his own hats! My naughty grandson threw it on the treetop!

Cui Yongyuan: I have heard that at present, firstly, advertisements are not credible; Secondly, you can't trust the weather forecast; Third, you can't trust entertainment reports. I think I have to add that nothing on the Internet is reliable!

Zhao Benshan: Xiao Cui, now that you mention it, I'm blushing with shame. Actually, many people, like me, have many weaknesses and uncivilized phenomena. The Olympic Games will be held soon. Everyone in China should be civilized, cultivate a new fashion and give our brand-new hat … no, it's a face … to the world! In my wife's words, it's like a daughter-in-law's second month. We must treat her well! Everyone said: Right? ! (The audience is right) Now I apologize to the people of the whole country. My UFO photo is fake!

Cui Yongyuan: OK, uncle and aunt, it's the end of the program again. Parents still have to sum up their inner feelings. Uncle Xian?

Zhao Benshan: Les and hairstyle, 0707 is amazing ... It's over, and Yi Jianlian of Yao Ming did well in American basketball! ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○967 Civilization starts with me, and everyone should do better!

Song Dandan: 0808 is here. People all over the world are running here. The people of the whole country are United as one, and every game is very lively. China athletes have high morale, and we can win all the gold medals. Looking at the centennial Olympic Games, Beijing is the best!

Cui Yongyuan: Thanks to the audience in front of the TV. See you next time!