Monitor, you look at me firmly. Tell me about it.

A happy day is a day when you are full and go to bed.

Monitor, look how determined I am.

I am cute and responsible. What did I do wrong?

Big Big Wolf, a big stupid Wolf, can never beat Pleasant Goat or serve Red Taro.

Finally, the misty rain in the south of the Yangtze River enveloped the whole world. After the glory of China, it was just a scene, and the mountains and rivers were silent forever.

A thousand years of fame, a lifetime of burial, a delicate country, and a ridiculous life without a monarch.

Phoenix, who once played here, left without permission and waited all night. From then on, Wan Li cried.

The Year of the Loong is in a good mood and has no troubles every day; Raise your head and embrace happiness, lower your head and embrace beauty.

I miss the days when I ate single-celled animals.

Youth is like mahjong, you have to clap or touch yourself. How many otaku and rotten women have been counted, and how many institutions have been counted, just to enjoy the moment of being knocked down.

The exam is coming. . . Ask Kobe to control the ball, single subject 8 1 point, rocket control, 22 consecutive subjects, McGrady control, damn it, you can copy 13 points in 35 seconds. . .

Life is a hundred times more cruel than comics. It has arranged countless Pang Hu who like to bully you, countless strong men who like to laugh at you, and an Yijing who you will never catch up with, but never thought of giving you a real robot cat.

A man applied for a job, and the female manager asked him what he was good at. The man said, "The lower body is special." Female manager: "Rogue, dirty …" The man said angrily: "Who is rogue and who is dirty? I said what happened to my leg ... "

Every time the nurse sister comes to give me an infusion, I will pretend that I don't know what this rubber tube is tied to my hand. In fact, it is just to listen to the soft three words from the nurse sister's mouth: pulse pressure band.

An IBM interview question, people with a monthly salary of 80 thousand, 90‰ made mistakes. Can you answer correctly? 1+2*3=? Don't think too much, answer at once.

I found that, in study, like Big Wolf, we appeared in an extremely NB posture every semester, and at the end of the semester, we left in an SB posture that everyone expected. Finally, I want to shout: I will study hard …

"Hello, host, I am crowded on the 1 bus. I want to order a song for the girl by the window in front. It's Jacky Cheung's song. You know, yes, 1 You are on the bus. I am willing to squeeze a little. "

If you are the one, the female guest will turn off a man's light again, and the aunt downstairs in the dormitory can turn off a whole floor! ! !

The mobile phone didn't ring for a month, so it was repaired today. As a result, the maintenance master said that the mobile phone was not broken, but no one called in for more than a month. I knelt down to the master and begged him to stop.

Spend Christmas alone, New Year's Day alone, and leave me alone at the end of the term!

January is a rare month when people no longer care about boat tickets because they can't even buy tickets to go home.

You are good to me, so I can't help bullying you.

The best thing in the world is to eat and sleep.

For my Audi, your Dior and our children Oreo. Work hard! Fight!

How about having a husband, scoring goals with the goalkeeper!

When I came into this world, I didn't intend to go back alive.

A person, if he doesn't push himself, has no idea how good he is.

It may not be the enemy who shits on your head, or it may be your neighbor upstairs.

Once you learn to break the jar, you will find that the world will suddenly open up.

In fact, you don't have to feel inferior, because you have won the championship among tens of millions or even hundreds of millions of players.

Extraordinary appearance is important even to wild animals.

Resist breast enhancement surgery and don't pollute the last safe milk source!

Sanlu and Mengniu tell us a truth: animals are unreliable.

Why did Guan Yu die earlier than Zhang Fei? Answer: Beauty is unlucky. ...

If beauty is a letter of recommendation, then kindness is a credit card!

The thought of 20xx coming, the thought that I still owe money to the bank, makes me want to laugh in my dreams!

Every woman who calls herself "elder sister" is looking for a very manly man, and it turns out that the most manly one is herself.

The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but when I stand in front of you, you fall in love with a foreigner.

Looking forward to 65438+ 10 month, because there are only two serious things in the whole 65438+ 10 month: holidays and other holidays.

Don't think that you are Wu Dalang, just think that Yao Ming was made by two people.

Take the initiative in everything, such as climbing the wall and other almonds.

If you want to know what despair is, buy a bunch of lottery tickets.

Insomnia, because sleep is too heavy, thinking that one less night's sleep will kill you.

Eat, I want to be thin, I want to be thin. I can't have both, so I went there.

Life grinds us around and makes us roll further.

You are not a VIp, not even an Ip, you are just a P!

Even if you want to cry again, smile and say, damn it!

I want to be an angry bird and hit those pigs.

Love is to put up with everything regardless.

Whenever cleaning, the school will say "school is your home"; But if you are late, the school will say, "Do you think school is your home?"

The so-called difference in values is that if you give a candle, some people will feel that there is a cake missing, and some people will feel that there is a whip missing.

Life is like an angry bird. There are always a few pigs laughing when they fail.

Although there are many wives and concubines, they love each other. Children around the knee, home unbeaten. Play if you want, and do what you can. The air is free and there is no darkness. Looking back, I have regrets.

Don't look at me innocently like a puppy.

1, don't look at me innocently like a puppy, it will make me want to eat dog meat.

Wage is like a period, once a month, and it will be gone in a week or so.

Life is like making a phone call. Either you hang up first, or I hang up first.

4. The secret of longevity, keep breathing and don't die.

5. Because I was too heartless before, I am heartless now.

6, some people, when making masks, look much better than real people.

7. I can resist anything except temptation.

8. Honey, you must believe me. I'm dizzy when I take a boat, let alone have two feet on both sides.

9. Rebecca: "The people in the hall tell me how you came?" "Hold your breath compared with others." "Then what?" "I won ..."

10, a boy sent a message to a girl: Every time I miss you, the star drops a tear, and the sea is formed like this. Every time I miss you, a grain of sand falls from the sky, which is how the Sahara desert is formed; Who knows the girl replied angrily: Every time I think about you, I fart. This is how the ozone layer is formed.

1 1, the so-called beauty, three points of appearance and seven points of dressing up, the so-called temperament, three points of talent and seven points of pretending, the so-called gentleness, three points of tolerance and seven points of depression.

12. On the bus, the pregnant woman standing said to the strange man sitting next to her: Don't you know I'm pregnant? I saw the man very nervous and said, but the child is not mine!

13, I remember one day shortly after graduation, my girlfriend sent me a short message: "Let's break up!" Before I could feel sad, my girlfriend sent another message: "Sorry, I sent it wrong." This can be very sad. ...

14, the unfairness of this world lies in: God said, "I want light!" " "So there was this day. The beauty said, "I want a diamond ring!" " "So she got a diamond ring. The rich man said, "I want a woman!" " "So he has a woman. I said, "I want to take a shower!" " "The water was cut off!

15, it occurred to me that day to use your photo as a computer desktop. Damn, I'm infected by a computer virus!

16, ouch, are you so busy going to the toilet by yourself?

17, my heart ached and I held it out like a dumpling stuffing.

18, don't push me, or I will become great and out of control.

19, since I got mental derangement, the whole person is much more energetic.

20. I didn't feel right halfway by taxi, so I said to the master, "Hey, it seems that I haven't gone this way?" The master said calmly, "They have their choice, I have my choice, and you will always achieve your goal, but if you choose me, you will go this way."

Fools are more interesting than happiness. Tell me about it.

1, see thoroughly, that's why I live so miserable.

Tell me if you have any difficulties, because I can't help you anyway.

Please give me 200 coins, and I'll smash you to death and tell you I have no money.

4. As the saying goes, it's fate to meet each other through thick and thin for ten years.

5. It is better to be arrogant and moldy than to fall in love with humble people.

6. Who said the matchmaker had warts? Chairman Mao also has it on his old man's face.

7. If I can't live proudly, I would rather die like this.

I said, can you leave me alone?

You don't have to take the initiative, but don't move when I take the initiative.

10, why do you always avoid me? It's like seeing a ghost

1 1, just stand there and laugh, don't waste our women's talent, don't you think?

12, A: Hey, why are you going? B: I'll put out the fire.

13, his condition is a little worse than yours, but at least he is not Chen Shimei.

14, how did you forget me after you got Alzheimer's disease?

15, this uncle, you are too disrespectful, just like I imagined.

16, the longest love I have ever talked about is narcissism, loving myself without rival.

17, sometimes I really want to cry, because it is really difficult.

18, choose your own path and let the latter go on regardless.

19, I am as romantic as you are disdainful.

20. The world is still irregular, without which no one will be destroyed.

2 1 Do you think my heart is made of stone? It's hard to resist everything.

22, do more possible things, don't pull useless words.

23, I am selfish, selfish gave you all my heart.

24. What is a breakup? You can continue to love.

25. Don't worry! I really like my harmless appearance.

Don't give in to the villain easily, because even if you take it, he won't let you go.

27. In this world, just believe in yourself and don't take anyone's words too seriously.

28. "Fudge" is not a curse, but sometimes it is a favor.

29. I know a group of beautiful women, but I'm just a woman.

30. Every time I have a problem with you, I will be the first to apologize, and now I won't.

3 1. Seriously, you are not as dazzling as the sun, and it is cloudy occasionally.

32. I have identified you, so I can't let you leave me, my bed.

I'm occupied by you. Don't argue with him.

Love is an extremely sacred word, please don't defile it.

Since you have chosen to love me, I won't allow you to leave me again.

36. Are you bored? I happen to be bored, too If we are bored together, it will be more interesting.

37. I will always fly against the wind. Not afraid of being stopped, but afraid of turning yourself in.

Please don't talk nonsense. Do you know what others think of you?

39. I can live by memories, so I will be as happy as you leave me.

40. Don't think too highly of yourself. Everyone is fine without you.

4 1, miss, can't you hold yourself higher? Who can you show such a bargain to?

42. A woman can have no taste, but she can't have no vision.

43, girl, I am a woman, better than hiding behind a man.

44. If you don't choose to be strong, who will you show weakness to?

You can love any woman, but you can't stop me from loving you.

46. Even if you are no longer with me, I will still inadvertently think of the past.

47. Tell me ten sentences. If I don't swear, I don't know your name.

48. Everyone is working hard, but I stay at home and chew the corn.

There are not many people I love in the world, but you are the only one.

I will look forward to the future with pride, but I will never look down on you.

A classic funny dialogue about laughing off your big teeth.

A classic funny dialogue about laughing off your big teeth.

1. Every time I miss a girl, I put a brick on the ground, and there was the Great Wall.

If it is a mistake to have money, I would rather make the same mistake again.

3. My ideal is simple: to have the body of Monkey and live the life of Bajie!

Drinking water makes you uncomfortable. If you feel uncomfortable, you will have a stomachache. If you have a stomachache, you will drink water.

5. Look at the middle of the nose, look at the face with neat bangs, look at the temperament with oblique bangs, and look at the five senses without bangs ... I am suitable for making a mask.

6. Every time I wake up in the morning, I know I should go to bed early at night.

7. I used to have schizophrenia, and now we are recovered!

8. I wanted to eat my sadness in one bite, but I ate it into a meatball in one bite.

9. Which is more pitiful, no money to spend or no one to want? Of course, there is nothing to eat!

10. I'm still lamenting that I was small and beautiful. Look now, I hate my spare time.

1 1. Do you find those people who don't like you particularly ugly?

12. I have the ability to pick up girls, but I am a girl.

13. I'm not afraid of Singles Day. I'm afraid the person I like is just Singles Day.

14. Sleeping posture determines hairstyle. From now on, I will study the relationship between sleeping position and hairstyle at home.

15. You should learn from Tencent and call me dear every time you go online. .

16. You said you pretended to be a lady. Uh, by the way, your father is a canopy.

17. Look how sweet you smile, just like Pan Jinlian, the four beauties.

18. "I am' a friend of mine' and' a classmate of mine', and I am called three unsurpassed gods.

19. My wallet is like an onion. I burst into tears every time I opened it.

20. Some girls have the same house price. Only when you look back, do you know that you were wrong not to start.

2 1. I think it is a kind of hooliganism for girls to say that they are cold when they are lonely!

22. If you drink a glass of milk every day for 1200 months, you will live to 100 years old!

23. There must be a road in front of the driveway, and I can't stop it.

24. Youth is running wildly, and then falling down beautifully!

25. You haven't been lovelorn once, and you don't even know how cheap you are!