Obama's Humorous Speech

Because of the development of communication, jokes have become popular. In buses and subways, you will find many ordinary people watching jokes with mobile phones in their hands. This environment also promotes the rapid development of jokes. The following are my humorous speeches of Obama. I hope I like it!

Obama's Humorous Speech

Thank you very much. Please sit down. Before the opening ceremony, please put forward the new presidential decoration (a pot of ferns) and laugh at health insurance. The last interview with fern was quite effective, and this one is even more effective.

I'm glad to attend the dinner again. This is an unusual year, isn't it? Usually, at the beginning of the dinner, I will tell a few self-deprecating jokes, but I am so brilliant in 20 13. What can I get from the dark?

I admit it? Last year was terrible. Oh, my God! At one time, the performance was so bad that 47% of voters called Mi Ni Rong to apologize.

Of course, we introduced Medicare official website. It could have been better. In 2008, my slogan was "yes, we can", and in 20 13, it became "ctrl+alt+delete".

On the bright side, the story of the launch of Medicare official website has been made into one of the hottest movies this year. Guda vernacular note: freeze the website spoof freeze.

However, rather than dwell on the past, I prefer to focus on today's dinner. Please welcome tonight's comedian Joel McHale. Joel plays a narcissistic man, looking at himself in the mirror and indulging himself. So this dinner must be a change for you. Ancient vernacular note: Ironically, everyone in the audience is narcissistic.

There are other athletes present tonight, including Jamie, the gold medal winner of snowboarding in the Winter Olympics. Anderson. We are proud of her. She is a very talented young lady. When Michelle and I watched the Olympic Games, we couldn't believe their behavior. A feat that challenges the limits of life and death. I haven't seen anyone turn 180 degrees so fast for a long time. Last time, it was rand paul who refused Nevada farmers to attend today's dinner. Gu Vernacular Note: After Band-Aid, an armed anti-government farmer, made racial remarks, the Rightists turned to draw a line with him.

Generally speaking, if you say this at the beginning of a sentence, something will happen: "I'll tell you what I know about niggers." Give you a warm reminder. Oh, don't start your speech like this.

Speaking of rand paul, an interesting social experiment that legalized marijuana in Colorado this year, I hope it won't make many people paranoid that the federal government will persecute them and eavesdrop on their phones.

Speaking of conservative heroes, the Koch brothers bought a vernacular note of Prince Valley tonight: The Koch brothers are party financiers and oil tycoons, but as usual, they use mysterious right-wing organizations as a cover. Hello, Fox News Channel, I'm just kidding. Note: Tucao Fox News Channel is the right-wing mouthpiece. Admit it, Fox News. You will miss me after I leave office. It is much more difficult to convince China people that Hillary was born in Kenya. Note: The stalk of her birthplace implies that Hillary can win 20 16.

Is this good enough? How about giving Mitch McConnell a pulse? Gu Vernacular Notes: Here, Obama speaks out and the party boss McConnell is half dead. How can I be satisfied?

Anyway, this year I promised to use more administrative means to bypass Congress to deal with problems. Critics say this is an imperialist president, but the reality is that I just go to work in the office every day. I thought they would like a more arbitrary approach because the new male god of conservatives is Putin.

Last year, Pat Buchanan said that Putin won the Nobel Peace Prize directly. Note: Pat Buchanan is an American conservative politician. He said this. I know it sounds crazy, but the fact is that the peace prize is for everyone now, so it is possible. However, not only Pat and Rudy Giuliani say Putin is the real leader, but also mike huckabee and Sean Hannity always mention his naked chest. Note: The three are the former mayor of new york, the presidential candidate in 2008 and the famous Fox. Go search, they have said it many times, hehehehehe.

It's strange to think that I only have two and a half years left in office. Everything around me reminds me that I am just a temporary worker. However, anything can happen between now and the 20 16 general election. You may have heard that Hillary was thrown her shoes at the press conference the other day.