How to correctly handle the relationship between wife and mother

How to correctly handle the relationship between wife and mother

How to correctly handle the relationship between wife and mother? If a man wants to live a harmonious and happy life, he needs to know how to balance the relationship between his wife and mother. If he only stands on one side, it is easy to produce contradictions. So how to correctly handle the relationship between wife and mother?

How to correctly handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law 1 relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been a problem that every family will face, and it is also the most talked about topic after dinner. When the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are tied together, it is necessary to say the fault of the child's daughter-in-law. When young people get together, they will vomit how great their mother-in-law is. The most unavoidable question for a husband is: "I fell into the water with your mother. Who will you save first?" In the face of a nagging wife and mother, men are always the first two, suffering from the splint, and can't tell what they are suffering from.

It's really hard to understand the subtle relationship between women as creatures like men. In the eyes of these simple-minded animals, "everyone is a family, why do we always have to fight for a high or low?" From a woman's point of view,

Let me reveal some bloody facts to the children:

1. For a mother-in-law, the word "treat her as one of our own" is easier said than done. So is the daughter-in-law. She gave birth to you and raised you, but she asked me to love her like you, which is a bit unreasonable.

2. After all, it is normal for people from different families and living environments to have different living habits and ways of thinking, and it is inevitable that they will bump into each other.

3. The inherent concept of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law may make two women take a defensive stance at first and eventually drift away.

In essence, mother and wife are just two unrelated women. The only connection between them is you. If something goes wrong, who do you think is responsible?

The mother-in-law problem comes down to the man in the middle. When the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are outside, they also greet people with a polite smile. Why should they fire at any time when they get home? Men's advice is always "Don't dispute with my mother, she is so old", "Mom, don't dispute with xx, she doesn't know anything" ... "Don't argue" is easier said than done.

Being able to maintain a good family and balance the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a greater challenge for men than career success.

If there are two such women in your family, see if the following methods are feasible.

If you still live in the elderly, there is no doubt that you need to move out. "No money to buy a house" is not an excuse, nor is "no one to take care of children". You have established your own family and children. If you still covet the convenience that the old people provide for your life, it is undoubtedly selfish.

2. Clear the bottom line. My parents always have the idea that "no matter how old you are, you will always be my child" and "I am older than you, and I am more experienced than you", so I have done a lot of excessive things in the name of love. In this matter, we must first understand your wife's thoughts. What are the things she can't accept? For example, my mother-in-law takes your house key and comes to the door without saying hello. The way to take care of the children is wrong. After making it clear, I will communicate with my mother in the name of "I (son)", so that it is easier to get a positive response from the elderly and reduce the possibility of intensification of contradictions.

You can't sit idly by after the conflict. First of all, we must find out where the source of this quarrel is. In fact, many times, the purpose of quarreling between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the same, but the methods are different. First of all, let them see this similarity-you two are not two opposing armies, and your goals are the same. After that, let's analyze the two people's practices fairly. Don't generalize, convincing people is the principle.

4. Many mothers love to say, "I am your mother, can I harm you?" In fact, many times, even if there is no subjective purpose, it has played such a role. If one or two gossips are constantly fermented in the heart, they may cause big problems and dissatisfaction, thus affecting family relations invisibly. Therefore, men in the family should stand firm, don't misunderstand their wives because of their mother's words, and don't alienate their mothers because of their mother's words. The only person who really knows these two women is yourself.

Mother-in-law is hostile to her daughter-in-law, mostly because of control desire-once she could control everything about her son, but now she is close to another woman. At this time, what the son has to do is not to blindly obey his mother's words, so that she feels that she has not lost this son, but to let her know that the child is mature and has an independent family, but she is still her son while being a husband and a father. So even if you don't live together, it is necessary to take your wife and children to visit the elderly. Occasional communication is more likely to make both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law feel good.

In fact, it is not only the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but also the most important basis of interpersonal communication is "mutual respect". Respect each other's differences, understand each other's difficulties and understand each other's needs, all need this son and this husband as a link. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not competitors who compete for the attention of their sons/husbands, but partners who create a harmonious family atmosphere.

How to correctly handle the relationship between wife and mother? 2. Wife and mother always complain about a little thing, how to deal with it properly? When you stand in this position, help your wife. Mom says your son forgot his mother when he married her. Help mom. My wife says she doesn't love her. Then who do you suggest to help? In fact, it's not who you should help, but how to solve the "war" between these two favorite women.

Don't have the concept of "inherit the wind". After the wife was wronged by her mother, this sentence appeared most frequently. Knowing that her mother was wrong, she only dared to say to her wife: My parents are my mother all over the world, so bear with it! So the wives had nowhere to vent their grievances and had to secretly cry. In this kind of family, because women can't get the protection of their husbands, their love for them will gradually fade away until they are disappointed with their marriage. Some may run away from their marriage, and some may turn from tolerance to counterattack, eventually leaving everyone in this relationship scarred.

Please take the initiative to wean yourself from the wedding day. Many men forget to change roles and always think that they are still good babies of their parents. The most obvious sign is that they are unwilling to live alone without their parents. His most impressive reason is: I want to take care of my parents! Because during the time when his parents were there, his mother wouldn't let him do some housework, and his wife didn't dare to arrange housework for him. He enjoyed the services of his mother and wife at ease. If once his parents left and returned to the world of two people, his wife asked to restore the previous division of housework, the husband would often say, "My mother never let me do housework."

Don't be afraid of being labeled as "unfilial" by others and losing the principle of being a man. Men often give up the principle of being a man in order to protect the "reputation" of their "dutiful son". There is no distinction between right and wrong, good and bad. Especially in the case of conflict between mother-in-law and mother-in-law, I think it is the wife's responsibility to help parents blame her. In this case, men do not stand in the just position of maintaining family harmony, but simply ask their wives to bear the burden of humiliation and compromise in order to maintain the superficial peace of the family.

Please take the initiative to help your wife integrate into your family, instead of helping your family reject her. Maybe all husbands will shout loudly: since they have married their wives and come home, how can they refuse her? However, although some men don't have such thoughts subjectively, they are actually doing such things, making their wives feel that they are outsiders in your family and are excluded everywhere. When a woman gets married and enters a completely unfamiliar environment, it is inevitable that she will feel at a loss and naturally feel defensive. In this family, only her husband is the closest person to her, and some behaviors of other people in her husband's family, although subjectively harmless, will be considered by her as behaviors that hurt her. At this time, you need your husband to be a bridge of communication. Please don't blindly accuse her of being "sensitive, oversensitive and narrow-minded ...", which will only make the distance between the wife and her family farther away and eventually exclude her from this big family.

If mom and wife complain to each other in front of you, please don't be a megaphone. When mom or wife complains about each other in front of you, immediately ask the complained party (it is almost certain that most men who do such stupid things will only have the courage to ask their wives); There are also some men who listen to their parents unilaterally and want to transform their wives into the type their parents like, but they are afraid that their strength is too thin, so they carry out their parents and say, Even my parents think so! If the IQ of the woman who heard this is still normal, she will definitely think that her parents-in-law have spoken ill of me in front of her husband again.

Give your wife the opportunity to be a good person, leave the opportunity to be a bad person to a smart husband, but give your wife the opportunity to be a good person, such as buying things that honor your parents, or things that can please your parents, let your wife come forward and let your wife get out of the way. Even if you do it yourself, you will tell your parents that this is what your wife means. Most parents-in-law will think that their daughter-in-law is reasonable and has no reason not to like her, but their love for you will not decrease. Some men always like to secretly give money to their parents, brothers and sisters behind their wives' backs, no matter whether the money is within their obligations or not, no matter how much money they give, it is foolish to just look at the fact that they are cheating. If you are a smart person, please stand up and fight with your parents at this time, and don't let your wife be a villain. If your wife quarrels with your parents once, your parents may have a lifelong grudge, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is basically impossible to repair. If it is you who quarrel with your parents at the moment, your parents may feel sad for a while and scold you as an "unfilial son" who "married his daughter-in-law and forgot his mother", but no parents will quarrel with their children and hold grudges against them. After your quarrel, you are still their beloved son, and they are still your beloved parents. A stupid man will hide behind his wife, make her stand out, and give her the bad name of "a fierce wife and a bad daughter-in-law". Even he will stand on the opposite side of his wife and deal with her with his parents. Such a husband, who is a good man in front of his parents, can also get the reputation of "dutiful son", but he hurts his wife who loves this family to pieces, making her extremely disappointed with this family, which will affect your marital relationship and make your family disintegrate and break up.

Please don't command your wife or order her to do anything for you in front of your parents. Men yell at their wives in front of their parents, and they look very dignified. But this behavior not only makes their wives feel tired, but also implies that their parents, or your parents will interpret it as: you don't care about your wife at all, and your wife has no weight in your own mind, so you don't respect her so much! Think about it, even if you don't respect your wife, do you still expect your parents to respect her?

Please treat your parents and in-laws equally, and don't let your wife "marry her husband and forget her mother". I often hear some parents-in-law complain that their son "married his daughter-in-law and forgot his mother", but they are actually accusing her daughter-in-law of taking her son away; In fact, there are more daughters who "marry their husbands and forget their mothers", because when women get married, they often become "splashing water" under the constraints of so-called customs, and they have been in-laws since then! Therefore, the husband asked the daughter-in-law to pay everything for her husband. The salary he earns is his husband's, and the children he gives birth to are his husband's spare time. He will try his best to serve his in-laws and unconditionally help his brother-in-law's sister-in-law, so he can only live with his in-laws, and he must go to his in-laws' house on holidays!