Give me a super funny text?

In the afternoon coffee time, the general manager approached four female colleagues. "Beautiful ladies, do you want to guess?" Hee hee ... well, listen carefully and guess what's on a person: there's hair on it and there's hair on it, so we'll have a hand-to-hand fight at night. ""Oh, the general manager is lewd and no one is coming! " "Ah, don't get me wrong, the answer is' eyes'. (2) When punching in, the general manager said to his female colleagues, "Ladies! Do you want to have a brain teaser? " Powder people think, here we go again. Listen: "What's the hardest part? Girls like it best, especially married women, and they can't put it down. Brainstorm! Start! " The fans began to blush again and bowed their heads to walk away. "ah! Haven't you said the answer yet? " "Don't come, general manager, you are the most beautiful!" "ah! Where have you been? The answer is diamonds! " Misunderstanding (3) "General Manager! Don't play guessing today? " "It's hard to guess. You can't guess." "hum? Who said that? " All the ladies are indignant and indomitable. All right! Then listen carefully. Guess human beings: "a thing can be long or short, westerners are long and orientals are short." The ladies began to blush again and pretend to be shy. "alas! I hate it! Give more tips? " "Well, hint: after marriage, the wife can use this thing from her husband." "Oh, why can't I use it before I get married?" A slightly shrew mm teased and asked. "If you insist on using it, it will make people laugh: What a scandal?" "alas! I hate it! Give a hint. " Ladies are pretending to be reserved again. "Well, hint: monks won't use it." "So ... so ... will a nun think of using it?" Then mm will ask, "nuns don't have to." The things they use are getting longer and longer. " "wow! Wow? " The ladies made a charming voice full of envy and longing. "Why? Can't guess? It's hard to guess, so you don't believe it. " "Is it big sometimes? Sometimes small? " It's still that mm asking. "Well, that's right! Seeing that he is old, say he is: the older one; If you look at his young age, you can say that he is: young, like people who have recently played professional baseball, according to size. " "alas! So dirty, use this point? " Young ladies are whispering to each other. The ladies have decided that the answer is "that", but they are embarrassed to say it. Suddenly I saw the chairman's car pull into the gate outside the window, and the ladies hurried back to their seats. "ah! Haven't you guessed yet? " "alas! I'm not going! The general manager is lewd! " "ah! What do you think? The answer is the surname of the first name. " The general manager is playing guessing games again. "Dear beautiful ladies, can you guess a riddle? Guess something about people: it's hard to lick, and it's hard to lick. To sleep comfortably, rub it first. " The young ladies began to blush again ... "Alas! I'm not going! The general manager is lewd! " "ah! Where do you want to go! The answer is teeth. " Misunderstanding (5) "Ladies, guess a riddle? Listen carefully and guess an idiom! I won't think again: I really want it, I really want it, I'm so excited, I really want it. As a result, water began to slowly flow out of the hole. " "alas! Oh, my God, such a shameless general manager. " The ladies are cursing! "Why? Can't guess! Hey! " "That ... that will be very open?" The old woman asked shyly. "That's right! They are all open. And the water flows more. " "I hate it! I hate it! I'm not going! The general manager is lewd. " "ah! If you can't guess, don't talk nonsense. The answer is drooling. " Misunderstanding (7) "Hey! Beauty! " "Good general manager! Do you have any riddles today? " "no! Every time I say that I am lewd, don't! " The general manager looks innocent. "Good good! We just don't say it. " "So, guess a person's action today." "Listen carefully: the thing I want to do most after work, a stiff strip, goes straight into the hole. If it's fast, it'll be fine twice. Otherwise, take it out and then insert it. Don't stop until you get what you want. Guess what it is? " "alas! Too early! Or say no? So rude and dirty this time! " All the ladies think so. Ladies' faces are redder than each other. Playing dead is a disgrace. "Can a child do it?" The old woman asked again. "It's best not to, adults are responsible." "Is it all right during the day and night?" Or a 38-year-old woman asking. Hmm! Usually at night, or during the day. But you can see clearly during the day and it is dark at night, so you can touch it and insert it again. "wow! Also said that there is no color! " The ladies blushed and smiled silently. "Still guess not to come out? All right! Give another hint: it is best not to let others casually insert, or something will happen! " "hate it! I'm not going! The general manager is lewd. " "ah! If you can't guess, don't plant it! The answer is to open the door with a key.