Daydream lines in the tiger's mouth

Jiang: Comrade, let me ask you a question.

Don: Is there a problem?

Jiang: Have you ever fallen?

Don: Do you mean work or life?

Jiang: What about work and life? I just don't pay attention to the usual aisle, "beep!" Dogs eat shit, chew mud with their mouths and fall headlong!

Don: Hey! Where did you fall so hard?

Jiang: I fell even worse than this, not to mention falling out of the international level, at least falling into the world's advanced ranks.

Don: Wow! That's too close!

Jiang: I fell there and hung up.

Don: Where?

Jiang: Lion Tiger Mountain in Beijing Zoo. On Sunday, I went there alone to watch tigers play, and I was watching them with great interest. I don't know who is wicked, so I pushed forward and booed: "The tiger is out of the mountain!" He squeezed me off the fence!

Don: Oh, did you break it?

Ginger: You're not afraid to break anything. You broke your arm and leg. Let's answer in our hospital. It doesn't work where it fell. It's ... this is no place for people!

Don: Yo, it fell into the tiger hole!

Jiang: I looked up and saw a big tiger lying not far away, which scared me to lose my voice! (vibrato): "Ouch ... Mom ... Ah ..."

Don: Why are you called mother tiger?

Jiang: Call Mom? It's no use calling grandma! It's over. The big boy weighs 120 kilograms, and even the bones and meat are just enough for the tiger to eat lunch.

Don: Don't worry. Take your time.

Jiang: What a big head! It's nice to sneak a look at the tiger.

Don: The tiger didn't see you?

Jiang: I am exchanging feelings with you!

Don: Huh? Staring at you!

Jiang: As soon as this tiger kicked me, my brain became "excited" and many heroic images appeared.

Don: Hey! Return the heroic image!

Jiang: I looked up, and many people above looked at me. We are young people of the times. With so many people in the jaws of death, we can't embarrass young people! Have you ever heard of the Beijing opera Song Wu Da Hu before?

Don: OK!

Jiang: Is that all right? That's a fake! Dude, practice here today. Really! It really opened your eyes!

Don: Oh, you are really good at shooting tigers.

Jiang: What can I do?

Don: Good idea.

Jiang: Good idea. You must stand up!

Don: My legs are weak!

Jiang: That's what I thought.

Don: What are you thinking?

Jiang: We are all educated in the legal system.

Don: That's right.

Jiang: Do you know the Animal Protection Law?

Don: Yes.

Jiang: The man who killed the tiger was sentenced to two years in prison!

Don: You have a strong legal concept.

Jiang: Who do you think made this law? It's illegal to fight tigers with me, and tigers eat me for free?

Don: That's to protect wild animals.

Jiang: You protect women and children. Why do you protect wild animals?

Don: That should also be protected.

Jiang: I'm thinking about it here. It's a mess up there The man shouted, "Somebody! Go and save people, someone has fallen into the tiger hole! " Someone cheered me up: "Hey, buddy, hang in there!" As soon as I heard it, I said, "What? Hold on. What is this place? Can I wait? It's easy for you to talk standing up. Come down and let me see! "

Don: Aren't people worried about you?

Jiang: It can't be so messy! An old man shouted to me, "son, you have to have a guy who fights tigers." Come on, throw my cane to you! " "

Don: crutches?

Jiang: A sister-in-law shouted to me, "Brother, do you want a knife? Sister-in-law has a fruit knife here! "

Don: Hey! Look at these two weapons.

Jiang: The idea is to throw bricks inside and let me climb up. The man suggested that I throw a cigarette to refresh myself first. An old woman is really kind-hearted, kind-hearted, and tears are coming out. She cried to me, "son, I'll give you a pen." Write it down first! "

Don: Oh, this old lady is really interesting.

Jiang: Listen to this mess! No one came out to organize. Even if we set up a temporary rescue team first!

Don: How can that be timely?

Jiang: Does throwing this fruit knife and crutch work?

Don: These two weapons almost killed the tiger.

Cingil: Tigers are lazy. What am I doing? I'm stabbing a tiger with a stick.

Don: Oh, please, that will alarm the tiger.

Jiang: Besides the old man above, what eyes do you have? Look, you left your crutches here.

Don: Where?

Jiang: Throw it behind the tiger's ass! Once I've had enough, I'll pull the tiger's tail again!

Don: oh, don't move

Jiang: I can't walk after thinking about it. I answered the old lady's words. I'll leave a message while I'm awake!

Don: Really?

Jiang: I'm too old.

Don: Young people of the times.

Jiang: It is said that I am 28 years old this year, that is, the year of my disaster. After my birthday a few days ago, I was still very beautiful myself!

Don: This is a disaster!

Jiang: After thinking about it today, I think people calculate it for me according to the lunar calendar.

Don: Yes, it was a mistake.

Jiang: This is called hiding from the first day, not hiding from the fifteenth. If you leave a few words, I will blame my mother.

Don: What happened to your mother?

Jiang: Look at me. Look, I'm tall. Measured with a tape measure, it is 1.65 meters.

Don: 1.65 meters, not bad!

Jiang: You can make do with me, but none of the girls I date can make do with me. When they dated, they thought I was too young. Do you think if I have an appointment, can I come here alone to watch the tiger race on Sunday?

Don: Then why can't you come?

Jiang: Why not? You ask the guy who is dating, who doesn't go to work at the mother-in-law's house on Sunday when you are dating?

Don: Is that right?

Jiang: Really? I tell you, our second child is dating someone, and since they are dating someone, my mother-in-law has never hired a nanny!

Don: Oh, so you want to be a nanny?

Ginger: Being a nanny is very tiring. Your life is not in danger. You can't meet a big tiger. We can still fall in love after work. Love and going to the park. Does anyone go to the zoo? What is the park like? What are you talking about? It is delicious. Smell what the zoo smells like, smell it, it stinks, just this smell, talk about what affects your mood!

Don: Jiang Kun, you fell into the tiger hole because there was nothing?

Jiang: It doesn't matter if you don't have a date. You should grow taller. I am tall, and I can see everything clearly. Why should I push forward? This time, I saw it clearly. I can even see the tiger's beard clearly!

Don: What a rare opportunity you have.

Jiang: Buy you one?

Don: I'm not going!

Jiang: If you leave a few words, it's my mother's fault. We don't want to attract old people, so I won't say it!

Don: Please leave a message for the company.

Jiang: What do you mean? Leaders and teachers, you came out to play on Sunday and let the tiger eat it. Didn't you pay attention?

Don: This is the actual situation.

Jiang: It's all my fault. I have no organizational discipline and am free and loose. I underestimated the consequences of the tiger eating me.

Don: I can't estimate!

Jiang: I'm dead. What else should I check? Forget it. If you die, you die. Anyway, I have never died since I was a child. ...

Don: Huh? No one alive has ever died!

Jiang: Let's talk to the leader this time. Let's be tough! I told him that I would give you as much pension as you want, and I didn't say anything about it. Work-related injuries are not counted, but a "natural death" at most.

Don: I think that's it.

Cingil: Why can't you finish it well, big boy? If you have to be eaten by tigers, you may not be able to approve anything. ...

Don: I can't approve you.

Jiang: I'm just thinking about it here. Everyone above can give me advice. Hey … young man, this tiger is very honest. Let's do something … wait a little longer. The man said, "Hey, someone found the city zoo for you!" " "Another young man suggested," Come on, let's shout slogans at me and try to scare the tiger. One, two, three, shoot the tiger! "One, two, three, kill the tiger! ! "

Don: Wow, does this work?

Jiang: You scared me! "Stop shouting, stop shouting! Are you going to wake the tiger? You have to shout slogans. I will do it.

Don: Are you yelling?

Jiang: It can hear clearly when I am close. Actually ... (loudly) one! (Cover your mouth and whisper) One two three four five, go up the hill and shoot tigers. Tigers don't eat, they only eat big bad guys! "

Don: Well, all the nursery rhymes have come out.

Jiang: "Hey! Above! Shouting slogans doesn't work, tigers don't understand! Hi! You're a hero! Come down! "

Don: What? Disappointing?

Jiang: So what?

Don: Don't people have to feed tigers when they come down?

Jiang: Feed the tiger, it's called giving yourself up to save others. It was a fair death. I'll give you a newspaper or something What do you mean I'm dead? Feeding tigers is worthless.

Don: No, no, no. You can be in the newspaper when you die.

Jiang: In the newspaper, two sentences at most.

Don: What two sentences?

Jiang: "A young worker accidentally fell into the tiger's mouth and died. The relevant departments remind tourists to pay attention to safety ... "

Don: That's two sentences.

Jiang: Listen to this. You won't even tell me your name. I am a negative example!

Don: Do you still want to be optimistic?

Jiang: What's the matter?

Don: You've been thinking about it for a long time, but it's useless!

Jiang: Don't worry, let me discuss it with the tiger!

Don: What can we discuss with the tiger?

Jiang: "Tiger, tiger, just take a nap. Hey, open your eyes and look at me. I am thin and have no meat. If you want to eat, there is a Tang Jiezhong in our unit who is quite fat. "

Don: Huh? Why do you always think about me?

Ginger: I just gave it to Doby, so we didn't really give it. "Tiger, tiger, if you don't bite me, I promise-I promise I won't bite you either!"

Don: It's all true!

Jiang: "If you let me out, I will live well. Let's listen to the leader and do our job well; At home, we are filial to our parents and respect our brothers and sisters. When you go out, you should obey the traffic rules and don't spit everywhere! "

Don: Hey … you're such a mess!

Jiang: Don't look at the mess. You may not remember it by this time.

Don: Oh, are you proud of it?

Jiang: What?

Don: You should try to get out now!

Jiang: Did you find a way out? That's easy for you to say. What is this place? This is the place to raise tigers! Tigers can't get out. Can I go out?

Don: That's true.

Jiang: Look at this fence. More than 3 meters high, no pushing at all. How was it designed at the beginning? Don't take the elevator!

Don: I haven't heard of it.

Cingil: "Hey, what are you thinking ... what? Find me a city zoo? The administrator has a Sunday off? He rested, but the tiger didn't! Call the police, no matter 1 10, 1 19, Fei Jing, fire alarm will do! What? Looking for a long time, there is no phone nearby? " The leader of this zoo is too busy to make phone calls. Forget it, forget it, you all go! When you get out of the zoo, find a TV station and ask them to send a film crew to film how the tiger eats me for a while! "

Don: Why did you shoot this?

Jiang: Making a movie about tigers eating people and selling it to foreigners for some foreign exchange is also a contribution to the Seventh Five-Year Plan.

Don: You are very conscious!

Jiang: You've been talking for so long that the tiger only breathes but doesn't open its eyes? It shakes, I gesture to it, it doesn't move, and I dare not move ... Has this tiger degenerated?

Don: This tiger can't degenerate!

Jiang: How do you know?

Don: In order to keep tigers wild, people's zoos often throw some live chickens and rabbits into tiger holes.

Jiang: Why throw live chickens and rabbits?

Don: Train tigers to catch live food!

Jiang: Ouch, eat it alive.

Don: Especially on Sundays, they have to starve tigers.

Ginger: It's broken! Today is Sunday! The tiger hasn't eaten yet, just in time to catch my live food

Don: Let him catch up!

Jiang: This damn zoo, after I die, I will never stop talking to them!

Don: Yes! Let them have a good check!

Jiang: Check!

Don: It won't happen again!

Jiang: It won't happen again, will it? Dude, forget it this time, okay? Laozi's size is a life. After my death, the director of the zoo was fired! Administrator check! Deduct the bonus for six months! I was just thinking about this when suddenly a girl's silvery voice came from above: "Hey, untie the belt, twist it into a rope and pull the boy up!" "

Don: Hey, that's a good idea!

Jiang: As soon as I heard it, my tears came down! What a great idea! I looked up. Wow! A phone call, more than 30 people are there to untie their belts! Oh, this is really a good style. Look at this girl, wearing a green skirt and yellow nepotism. This girl ... is simply beautiful!

Don: Huh? At this time, you still have this idea?

Jiang: No, I mean that at this critical moment, a girl stepped forward to save a stranger. Does this mean that this girl ... is a little interesting to me.

Don: You are so evil.

Jiang: Hey? What are you talking about? Then you say there are so many young men standing beside this girl, why doesn't she look at anyone but at me?

Don: Nonsense! Who let you fall into the lion's den? She doesn't look at you. Who is it?

Jiang: Anyway, it is estimated that you can't see the size from top to bottom. Maybe this is my wedding event. This is called the bright side of everything. Usually the hero saves the beauty. Today, beautiful women save heroes, hehe. ...

Don: Stop laughing! This is no time for you to think like this! Want to have sex!

Jiang: What are you looking at? Why don't you have any sympathy? As the saying goes, if a gentleman talks, he won't do it. If I don't talk, I will do it. I'm dying. What do you compare with me?

Don: Well, I'm talkative. Come on, you go to exercise!

Jiang: It's too late, too early. The rope twisted by more than 30 straps came down smoothly. I looked up, ho! More than 30 people took off their pants and looked at me! So many people look at me, so many people can't lose face. This foot hooked the old man's crutch; With this hand, I grabbed the fruit knife my sister-in-law gave me. This is called: knowing that there are tigers in the mountains, walking in the mountains! There is a red sun in your chest and an east wind dance at your feet! Dare to compete with the evil tiger, and never give in to the evil tiger! Grief and indignation turn to turn the tide, and someone else will fight the tiger! When I push, hey ... hey.

Don: How's it going?

Jiang: I stood up ...

Don: Huh? Have you been sitting under it?

Jiang: You're talking nonsense. My legs are so weak that I still lie down and don't sit?

Don: Climb!

Jiang: As soon as I saw it, the rope was in front of me. "bang!" Stop, huh! Hey! Hey! A few steps to the middle. As the saying goes, a dog jumps over the wall and people are in a hurry! One step, two steps, three steps, four steps, this is called energy! Hey? You said you wanted to climb Mount Everest, and you had to follow a big tiger. Does that mean you can climb up by yourself?

Don: You are just talking nonsense. You are capable.

Jiang: Looking back, the tiger just opened one eye. Oh, this is called victory in sight. Dude won! (Singing) "Ah, goodbye, friends! Ah, goodbye, friend! Ah, goodbye, my friend. Goodbye-""Goodbye, tiger! Don't say anything! You are hungry here alone! Look at you alone, the zoo leaders don't care about you. Don't be busy, wait for your buddy to go out and introduce you to a tigress!

Don: Wow! You are still talking nonsense.

Jiang: I kicked my leg when I was slapped. I'm telling you I'm out!

Don: You're saved!

Jiang: The crowd is cheering and I'm confused.

Don: I'm really scared this time.

Jiang: I remembered a key question after coming up!

Don: What's the problem again?

Jiang: Where is the girl's skirt?

Don: I'm still thinking about that petticoat.

Cingil: Here it is. Take it off quickly and hold it on your chest like a wreath. Wow, with the girl's temperature, with the girl's fragrance, with. ...

Don: Stop smelling it!

Jiang: Huh?

Don: It smells of sweat again.

Jiang: No matter what you say, try to walk up to the girl and give her a "golden pearl and mamiya purr" first. I leaned down and ran to the girl.

Don: I said, what's your hurry?

Jiang: I haven't met anyone yet, so I can't worry!

Don: Don't you thank everyone for saving you so much?

Jiang: I'm shaking. Can I talk?

Don: Shake hands with everyone first!

Jiang: None of them shook hands with me.

Don: Why?

Jiang: They all carry pants!

Don: Wow!