Fate is an excuse for the weak, luck is the humble resignation of the strong. Only self-discipline can lead to self-confidence and self-love - "Self-Discipline"

I read the book "Self-Discipline" during this period, and I would like to share with you my reading experience and the essence of this book.

1. The core idea of ??this book

First of all, the purpose of this book is to encourage each of us to be self-disciplined and control ourselves. "The more self-discipline people have, the more freedom they have. The so-called self-discipline is an important principle to solve the pain of life with a positive and proactive attitude. Initiative includes four aspects: delaying gratification, taking responsibility, respecting facts, and maintaining balance.< /p>

2. What is self-discipline

? The so-called self-discipline is an important principle to solve the pain of life with a positive and proactive attitude. Initiative includes four aspects: delaying gratification and taking responsibility. , Respect facts and maintain balance.

3. Why should we be self-disciplined? Why would a person think of self-discipline? Not everyone in this world will choose self-discipline in life. , many people are greedy for comfort and enjoyment, but this cannot be said to be right or wrong, it is just a personal choice. The prerequisite for self-discipline is that you have expectations for your future self, and you want to be a better self. I saw this article I wrote and was very interested in it. It shows that we are all the same, we are people who have requirements for ourselves, are motivated and unwilling to be mediocre, and this book is only suitable for people who have requirements for themselves.

4. Conditions for self-discipline

However, there are gains and losses. To practice self-discipline is equivalent to living an ascetic life like Sun Wukong and others. Self-discipline is conditional. You need to give up those meaningless desires and vain material things. But the beauty of self-discipline also comes from the gains you get from giving up and continuous improvement. and a fulfilling life.

5. The meaning of self-discipline

The process of self-discipline may be a bit difficult, but it can ultimately bring us a lot of changes and make us more peaceful. , no longer become a slave to emotions; it makes us more focused and knows how to improve work efficiency; it makes us luckier and makes us understand that the time we spend will eventually be rewarded. We must believe in this process. Since we have chosen the distance, we will be responsible for ourselves through thick and thin.

If we choose to be self-disciplined, we are responsible for ourselves, our work, and our loved ones.

1. The more self-discipline you have, the more freedom you have

? However, self-discipline does not happen overnight. It can only be said to be a little clever. The real wisdom is to take one step on your own. Accumulate one step at a time and stick to your faith. There are two types of happiness. One is temporary. This kind of happiness is easy to obtain, as long as you satisfy your primitive and elementary instinctive desires; when you do this, You will feel very relaxed, but such short-term happiness cannot help you in the future. There is also a long-term kind, which requires dedication and accumulation at every moment, and takes a long time to show results. ; But once you get it, you will benefit endlessly in the rest of your life.

? We must stick to some good habits day after day that are extremely slow to take effect and extremely painful to implement. For example: get up early every day, go to bed early, exercise, read books, learn a foreign language, develop the same specialty, and learn a musical instrument. Kobe gets up at four o'clock every day, Dong Qing reads for an hour before going to bed every day, and many Harvard and Tsinghua students study until one or two in the morning every day. Behind a truly outstanding person is ascetic self-discipline.

? If you want to gain more and achieve more than most ordinary people, you must do things that ordinary people cannot do. Start with the little things, day after day, accumulate a little into a lot, from quantity to silent accumulation. Looking back a few years later, you will find that your whole person has undergone qualitative changes. Excellence has subtly become your quality and become a spontaneous and unconscious behavior that will benefit you throughout your life.

If you want to realize yourself and get the life you want, then start now! Society will not leave much time for you to grow slowly, it will only force everyone to move forward.

There are also some people in life who choose to spend every day quietly and peacefully.

Of course, this is also a choice in life, but this choice will lack many possibilities in the future. There will also be some people in life who choose to live every day in chaos. They seek the happiness of "having wine now and getting drunk the next". This kind of lifestyle is like overdrafting our credit card, except that it overdrafts our future happiness. I think if you are a young person, it is best not to be so "Buddhist". It may seem like a relief and look down upon, but in essence it is an excuse to avoid pressure and difficulties. You can also choose to spend every day quietly and peacefully, which is generally the choice of retired seniors. As a young man who has requirements for himself, it is better to work hard actively. I remember that Thoreau, the author of "Walden Pond", went to nature alone to explore life. However, he did not just enjoy himself, but instead had thoughts and insights in life. Our Li Ziqi also went to the countryside and now spreads Chinese culture. In fact, they are also a kind of self-discipline.

? We all hope to have a quiet and peaceful life, but only if we already have the capital to own it. There was a story before about a rich man and a poor man on a boat. The poor man said that he was also basking in the sun on the boat like the rich man. In fact, their realms were different. The poor man made a living by fishing on the boat. Once something bad happened, Weather, you have to wait, but the rich have more choices. Just like this coronavirus, doesn’t it make a large number of people unemployed? Therefore, people still have to be prepared for danger in times of peace and accumulate enough capital in the early stage so that they can be calm and calm in times of danger.

2. Change: The weak refuse change, while the strong are not afraid of turbulence. We must treat life with a positive attitude

? Life will not develop according to one person's wishes. Change may come at any time. When we encounter unpleasantness, we may complain, be afraid, or even cry hoarse, but none of this can prevent change from happening. All we can do is to collect our emotions, accept everything after this change, and then try our best to find a solution to the problem.

? However, those who actively seek change are the minority in life. They are able to force themselves out of their comfort zones and continue to improve their ability to stay outside their comfort zones. Therefore, if you feel confused, anxious, and confused, you might as well make changes. People cannot be defeated by difficulties. Only by overcoming all negative emotions and situations can you grow better. Although this process will make you unhappy, you have to believe in yourself and you will definitely get better. As the book says: "The weak refuse changes and risks, and also reject the possibility of upgrades and revisions. The strong understand the meaning of self-discipline and take the initiative to escape from the comfort zone. All changes must be painful, but this is It's the price of transformation. Change is a short-term pain, but standing still is a long-term pain. Who has not gritted his teeth and swallowed blood, and only after experiencing all kinds of entanglements and pain can he enjoy the envious eyes of the crowd. Only by carving yourself without fear will you be able to live your ideal life. ”

3. Self-love: Only self-love can lead to self-discipline

? In this world, it is always right to love yourself. Our education from childhood to adulthood tells us to care for others, to be considerate of others, to be selfless, etc., but there is no text that teaches us to love ourselves. In fact, when people live, they must first love themselves. Loving yourself means being responsible for yourself and others. Only if you love yourself and take care of yourself first can you take care of others without making others worry about you. However, there are too many people in this world who focus on others. In order to make others happy, they constantly sacrifice themselves. Sometimes others do not appreciate it and you feel wronged. Such people are pitiful and unwise.

? So how do we love ourselves? First of all, you must have a good body. The body is the capital of the revolution. If you keep the green hills, you will not be afraid of running out of firewood. Eat well, sleep well, exercise well, be in a good mood every day, have regular work and rest times, don’t stay up late, and don’t eat tempting junk food. To be honest, this is a bit difficult, but if you are responsible for yourself and love yourself, then you should Do it. Don't wait until something goes wrong with your body to learn a lesson. Of course, I know that sometimes it is difficult to maintain self-discipline all the time. You can also relax yourself after a while, but only once in a while. Most of the time, you still have to be self-disciplined and strict with yourself.

? When you finally learn to cherish your body, stop doing things that you know are harmful to yourself, and stop torturing yourself with negative emotions, you will find that your life has entered a new phase. era. Every transformation means that you have abandoned a bad version of yourself and taken another step towards a better direction. Only self-love can save people from all darkness, and those who love themselves can maintain a self-disciplined heart. Only those who are self-disciplined can have more possibilities and a happier life.

4. Behind success: Behind happiness and luck, there is invisible self-discipline

? Fate is the excuse of the weak, and luck is the modesty of the strong.

? People must believe in themselves, not in fate, and do not make any excuses for their failures. They must believe that they can turn things around and achieve their goals.

5. Understand yourself: Be sure to think carefully about what you want

Sometimes, it is easy for us to understand others, but we do not understand ourselves and cannot see ourselves clearly. However, the most important thing for people is to understand themselves and figure out what they want. We cannot always explore externally, but we must also think inwardly, explore our true heart, and not be blinded by the outside world. Many people spend their whole lives in a daze without knowing how to wake up. By the time they wake up, it's too late, so think about what you really want!

? If you have already thought about it, if you have built a huge world in your mind, it is best to realize it now and practice it to the extreme.

? If you want to live a meaningful life, you should do what you want to do. People who don't know what they want are undoubtedly pitiful. Passively accepting what fate has to offer is a very boring way of life.

No one can live for you, the only one who can decide your life is yourself. Those who forcefully interfere with your life choices will not ultimately be responsible for your happiness in the second half of your life. They are simply used to pointing fingers. Every choice you make, no matter whether the result is good or bad, is directly borne by you.

When you insist on the career you want to pursue, work tirelessly for it, and finally achieve something, all the objections will disappear, and even your relatives who originally opposed you will be proud of you. Your life should not be left to others to decide. The only hero who can change your destiny is yourself.

If you are an idealist, then if you do something you don’t like, no matter how good the treatment is and how harmonious the company atmosphere is, you will not be willing to stay there. Instead of wasting time in the entanglement of whether to go or stay, it is better to get out as soon as possible and pursue the career that you are truly obsessed with. It is difficult for a person who likes to toss and stay in a nursing home-style company for a long time, and a person who craves stability is not suitable for staying in a company that pursues a "wolf culture".

"You have no one to rely on, no guide, no teacher, no authority but yourself - your relationship to others, and your relationship to the world - and beyond that, Holding nothing."

? Each of us is essentially alone in this world. Although we have parents, lovers, children, friends, and many spiritual and material things, you have to understand that in fact, these do not actually belong to you. As you get older, all of these will slowly fade away. Away from you. We must not only cherish what we have, but also live our own life and make it meaningful. Don't follow the crowd, don't follow what others say, keep your own independent thoughts. Although this era is more money-worshipping, money is not the only criterion for measuring whether a person is excellent. At the same time, there are many prejudices in this world. You must have independent thinking and see the nature of the world clearly. Sometimes living soberly and understandingly can also be a happy life. How do you know what you want? That is to talk to yourself more, analyze your heart, what makes you happy, and what is most important to you. I hope each of us can live the life we ??want through hard work. It's not too late.

6. Control desires: Life is about having your cake and eat it too

Each of us has desires. People live by desire. Why a person lives is because he wants to live. Even the monks in the temple want to be pure and have few desires, which is also a desire.

It is normal to have desires. If a person does not have any desires, he does not exist. This is what Shi Tiesheng said. Each of us must have some desires, and it is good to have desires. It shows that you still have hope and attachment to life. We should be happy for ourselves, but people cannot have too many desires. People must not be greedy. Once a person is greedy, he will be greedy. All kinds of bad things will come to you. There are so many corrupt officials and lecherous emperors in history. This is a lesson.

? Numerous desires will make our heads big. At this time, we must learn to let go. Letting go does not mean that we will not pursue the beauty in our hearts, but that we should take our time and realize our dreams one by one. These desires cannot be realized simultaneously, and the effect of simultaneous advancement is bound to not be ideal. Arrange a prioritized timetable for these desires in your heart, a suitable and achievable timetable, let go of the heavy pressure in your heart, go into battle easily, and achieve these good things in a planned and step-by-step manner. Don't be anxious. You can't eat hot tofu if you are anxious. Peace leads to far-reaching goals, and indifference leads to clear aspirations. This is the truth.

? Be wary of arrogance and impetuosity when you succeed, do not deny yourself when you fail, let others succeed or fail, be a humble gentleman, be as gentle as jade, and be indifferent to your ambitions. With enough patience and forbearance, you can achieve your ideal career. Throughout the ages, those who have achieved great things have all experienced strong winds and waves, and have always been able to express their joy and anger.

? Everything depends on human effort. Control your unrealistic impulses, control your procrastination, control your diet and exercise, control your negative emotions, and your life can also be cheated.

7. Managing emotions: We must control our emotions

? The ability to control emotions determines the commanding heights a person can reach. In front of results and goals, emotions are the most useless things. In this world with too diversified views, when different people work together, conflicts will inevitably arise. It is difficult to determine who is right and who is wrong, who is black and who is white.

? If a person blames all his misfortunes on the outside world, then this person is likely to be trapped in misfortune forever and never get out. Our weak power is not enough to make the world listen to us. When you feel that there is a lot of negative energy in your life at a certain time, you must adjust your emotions. Give negative energy a time limit, an hour or two hours, a day or a week. There should be an expiration date for the low period, and you have to push yourself. When the agreed deadline is reached, you will have no reason to sink or degenerate again. Not everyone in the world is your parent, and no one will have the patience to wait for you to repent.

Don’t be immersed in negative emotions all the time. To be honest, everyone understands this truth, but not everyone can be freed from negative emotions at once. It has to do with people's experiences, and there are many other complex factors. Just like some people fall out of love or lose their loved ones. If you have deep feelings for them, once you lose them, it is really difficult to get over it. And the degree of relationship between a person and another person is the degree of your reaction after he is injured. . When encountering such trauma, we should not comfort others too much, because sometimes the inner pain can only be healed slowly with time. During this period, we must cherish ourselves and stay optimistic and positive at the same time. , have a strong mentality and never be enslaved by negative emotions. The human mind often matures in this process.

? Appropriate emotional release is human nature, we can understand it, and we should do it; but if it is excessive and you cannot get out of the bad emotions, in the end, you will only hurt yourself. And love your family. (So, it is also important to love yourself and control your negative emotions. Sometimes what defeats you is your own bad emotions. Therefore, you must be strong and optimistic)

8. Be realistic: combine Practical, objective analysis, and setting practical goals.

? Sometimes the reason why it is difficult for some people to stick to the plans they make is not only because of the laziness factor in their hearts, but also because of the unrealism when making the plans.

You can’t become fat with just one bite. Meat is accumulated day by day. It took you several years to gain weight, why do you expect to return to normal weight in just a few months? This world is actually fair, and all the gifts given to you by fate have actually been priced in secret. If you come out to hang out, you will always have to pay back.

Since we didn't do it well in the past, we can only hope to pay it back and make corrections slowly in the future.

? A practical plan should be based on one's own conditions. You only need to consider your current situation, formulate a plan that you can adapt to immediately, and then adjust the intensity and plan bit by bit. There is no overnight success. Only by following a feasible plan step by step and accumulating over time can the plan be effective.

The plan itself should not become a person’s psychological burden or make a person excessively anxious. It is just a way and method for you to become a better version of yourself; the method is people-based, as long as You work hard to do the things in front of you, and everything will come naturally, such as money.

9. Handle love emotions well: Only the self-disciplined can be free

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? The best love should be: "I love you, And you are free. ”

Only free and equal souls can appreciate each other and walk together in a long life.

? Self-disciplined people focus on restraining themselves, starting from themselves, improving themselves, and becoming a partner who can better meet their partner's standards and needs. A cowardly and loose person always hopes that others will love him unwaveringly for a hundred years, is obsessed with him who has stopped moving forward, and has no bottom line to tolerate him who is naive. This is an unrealistic fantasy. The only way to keep your lover is to grow up with him.

Love is not about one person asking for the other person to give, or one person ordering the other person to give, but two independent individuals, creating an irreplaceable resonance in the spirit. Two people collide, think and exchange ideas together, have the same hobbies or pursuits, and support each other and move forward hand in hand. The two are more like comrades fighting side by side than generals and soldiers. Only free and equal souls can appreciate each other and walk together in a long life. Only by being a good person can you meet him who is evenly matched; by being a good person can you not be alone on the road together.

10. Farewell: Let go of the past and welcome the future

Only a person who can let go of the past can move towards the future. Anyone who can come out of the past and rise from the ashes is a hero.

Everyone should have expectations for their future and pay a corresponding price to realize this expectation. If you want to age slower, you need to take care of your skin seriously every day; if you want to be healthier, you need to take time to exercise three to five times a week; if you want to look knowledgeable, you need to make a plan from scratch Make a study plan and implement it on time; if you want to get the support of your family, you need to explain and communicate patiently in exchange for a new way of getting along.

11. Work: Be self-disciplined, free, and efficient

Steve Jobs said: "Freedom comes from self-confidence, and self-confidence comes from self-discipline." Freedom is not given to you by others. But give it to yourself.

? Control your emotions and focus on improving work efficiency, and you will have more time to control freely. You will find that such successful people have many instincts. They can strictly control their time, know how to exercise moderation, and never indulge their instinctive desires.

12. Material: Don’t be constrained, give your eyes some freedom

? In life, too many people are immersed in the pursuit of material, only seeking a bright appearance, but Don’t look into your own heart. In fact, the material things a person really needs are very few. Think of Liu Yuxi living in a shabby house in ancient times, but he was still spiritually content, content, and would not envy other people. Nowadays, how many people look at the "exquisiteness" of other people's friend circles and are extremely envious in their hearts. A person with a truly fulfilling spiritual world will not envy anyone, because he does not lack anything and has no inferiority complex. And a true confident lady will never tell others where she has been or what books she has read. However, I do not deny that posting various beautiful scenery, delicious food, etc. in the circle of friends may be a way for them to please themselves. As a bystander, just be respectful and do not need to judge others with your own heart. We do Just be good to yourself and be content and happy inside.

? People who are controlled by substances often have some sexual characteristics.

First, there is a lack of control over one's own life.

The second is its own lack of strength.

The third is lack of self-confidence and sense of security. When self-confidence is low, material things become your only reliance.

? We must control our vanity and the blind pursuit of material things. A moderate amount of vanity is good because it keeps us going. But vanity cannot be excessive. Vanity makes people show off their superficial wealth, while inner poverty can easily be covered up by exaggerated appearances. When the tide recedes and the truth comes to light, it will be revealed whose soul is nobler and whose vision is more far-reaching. Therefore, no matter what goals you plan to achieve, your starting point should be to please yourself and achieve your own life goals, rather than losing your original intention in the envy of others. Life is a marathon. When they were young, they each performed their own ups and downs and wonderful lives, but in the end, who can be happy in the end will live better.

13. Develop good habits: the courage to move forward and the confidence to choose

? Create lasting behavioral habits and become the person you want to be. The difference in lifestyle and quality of life between people is actually a difference in personal habits.

The first little habit is to list three things that you must do every day.

The second little habit is to prioritize trivial tasks.

The third little habit is to carry paper and notebooks or mobile phone memos with you

14. Maintain a good attitude towards life: How do you treat the world?, the world will treat you the same way

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? Li Bihua once said: "It hurts more when someone takes care of you. Without anyone, you owe it to yourself, but you have to be strong and strive for success. But I think that sometimes when you are in pain, it is not a bad idea to talk to others. Everyone has their downturns, everyone has their moments of pain. Most people in this world are good people. Sometimes when others see you in pain, they will be more sympathetic and caring. Moreover, in fact, most adults in modern society are very tired. Everyone hides their fragility and only shows their strong side to others, for fear that others will laugh at your fragility. I think there is no need to treat others so badly. In fact, if you say it, everyone will be more polite. I understand you, after all, this is how we all go, and showing weakness occasionally does not mean that we are not strong. I can only say that it is not good to be weak all the time, like Mrs. Xianglin, life is sometimes difficult. People should still cherish each other. Just like this coronavirus, in the face of a great disaster, aren’t we closer?

15. Perseverance: Persevere and live exquisitely

? Chen Daoming once said that the highest artistic conception of a person is moderation, not release. Release is easy, both material release and spiritual release are easy, but moderation is rare. .

Judging people by appearance is absolutely scientific. Character is written on the lips, happiness is reflected in the eyes, sincerity and hypocrisy are reflected in the pupils, and talent and bearing are reflected in the gait. . The expression reflects the recent mood, and the eyebrows reflect the past. The clothes reflect the aesthetics, and the hairstyle reflects the personality. Career depends on the feet.

16. State: Keep looking back. Keep climbing

? The book "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" writes: "People who are not self-disciplined are slaves to lust, desire and emotion." ”

? Every once in a while, we should have a macro understanding of the gains and losses in the previous period so that we can continue to improve in the next stage. An experience and a period of time should always give you Leave something behind to give you some insights, so your time is not in vain. Looking back on the past is for a better future. Self-disciplined people can control their own study, work and life, and therefore can control their own life.

? If you want to take the postgraduate entrance examination, you must plan the stages in advance, then review your progress at each expected time node, and adjust your plan and rhythm according to the progress; if you want to travel long distances, You also need to calm down and write your travel notes after the trip, so that you can be more fully prepared for your trip next time, and you can also help others;

17. Temperament: While taking care of your skin, never stop thinking and Work

Lin Qingxuan, a famous Taiwanese writer, said: "If life is a three-story building, the first floor is for body and desire, the second floor is for culture and thought, and the third floor is for spirituality and beauty.

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? Being beautiful is not necessarily a blessing. This means that when a person grows up, he will receive far more temptations and choices than ordinary people. Once he does not have a mature mind and a wise mind, he will It is easy to go astray and stagnate in life. During school years, beautiful girls are easily pursued. If they are not strong-willed and fall in love early, their studies may be delayed, and young girls will easily change in the rest of their lives. Once you are targeted by some malicious bosses or middle-aged men and cannot withstand the temptation of fame and fortune, you will easily fall into the black hole of money and sex transactions.

This sentence really makes sense, people. Everyone loves beauty, but beauty is a double-edged sword, with advantages and disadvantages. If a person is not very beautiful, there is no need to have excessive self-esteem and have plastic surgery everywhere. This is why the society is relatively superficial. The world has a fanatical pursuit of physical beauty. However, physical beauty cannot withstand the polishing and baptism of time. People still have to take a longer view. Appearance is important, but you have to consider that after all, people cannot compete with time. Beauty is determined There will come a time when a person's inner temperament, cultivation, and depth of his spiritual world will last forever. I hope that while people care about the beauty of their appearance, they should also pay more attention to the beauty of their soul. As the book says: "Independent thought." , profound cultivation can enable you to control your own beauty. Just looking at the mirror and makeup may make you look good and cared for by many people when you are young. But in the long run, it's not a good thing. We should have a skill that allows us to live upright with this skill. The beauty of the skin is important, but it also needs an abundant soul to match it. ”

18. The future: Be brave and diligent, live to the fullest

? Born in sorrow, died in happiness. Staying in your own comfort zone is cool for a while, but in the long run , is not wise. The real iron rice bowl is the ability to survive wherever you go.

A person who has requirements for himself is excellent and responsible for himself. This is also the reason for him and others. The fundamental difference between people who are mediocre (comfortable with the status quo, stuck in their ways, don’t understand change, and don’t want to make progress). If you are like me, you are a positive person, I hope we can encourage each other and grow together! , couldn't sleep, so I sorted out what I had learned from the books on self-discipline that I had read in the past two days, and wrote for more than three hours. All in all, I still found it very useful. I hope we can apply what we have learned, integrate theory with practice, and take action. Start changing now, keep reflecting, keep summarizing, keep moving forward, and live a meaningful life to avoid regrets in old age!