Make a punch line in one sentence.

1. Xiaoming slept in class many times and was persuaded to go home by the teacher. Xiaoming: The teacher refused to let me go to school and told me to drop out. Ming Dad: Why Xiaoming: Sleeping in class Ming Dad: What happened to sleeping in class? Who hasn't slept in class? Dad is sleeping at school, too! Xiaoming: Dad, do you like sleeping naked, too?

Second, friends please go to eat crayfish, new shop, there are two kinds of wild and domestic, each asked for a pot. While peeling, ask a friend what is the difference between domestic and wild. He said: the domestic ones grew up eating antibiotics, and the wild ones are polluted by heavy metal precipitation. It depends on your tolerance.

3. A: I live at home with clothes in my hand! B: Damn it! So happy! Answer: Happiness is my ass! The clothes came, and I reached out to help my wife sign for them. When the meal is ready, I will open my mouth for my wife to eat! B:

Four, a person playing games in the dormitory, sleepy in the middle of the night, just want to climb the computer desk to sleep, just get down and suddenly find someone coming in to rummage through my bag, I think: I pretend to sleep, catch him red-handed, and then I sleep until dawn.

Fifth, the idiot man went to see a doctor. Man: Doctor, my wife's skin will crack in winter. What kind of disease is this? Doctor: Is she here? Let me have a look. Man: She didn't come, but I took some photos. The boy finished and handed the phone to the doctor. The doctor looked at it carefully and then said, this is rubber hardening.

6. The owner of the bus accidentally dropped his mobile phone at the foot of a girl. The girl was surprised and covered her skirt with her hand. I smiled indifferently and said, don't be afraid of my sister. I'll pick it up when you get off. The girl smiled. You are really a good man. After the girl left, I picked up my cell phone and turned off the photo function.

There is a seat vacant in the subway station for the elderly, the sick and pregnant women. A couple pushes each other, you sit, you sit. Then the man sat down. Woman: Oh, you are disabled. M: I'm just a little old. Woman: Yes, you are an idiot ... a gift.

Eight, my girlfriend went on a blind date and brought a 5-year-old niece. After dinner, the man went to pay the bill, and the little niece cried badly, asking for AA system and saying that men and women are equal, which made the two adults laugh and cry.

Come on, son. I bought you a gift online, the latest, white, ultra-thin and handwritten. Son: Yes, yes, what is it? Yes, you guessed it, the third set of simulation questions.

10. I met a junior high school female classmate in the restaurant. She didn't remember me, so I reminded her: Do you remember the boy who was punished for kissing you in the Woods in junior high school? Her little face turned red and said excitedly, are you the one I was ashamed of at that time? Yes, I was the one who told the secret!

Eleven, a sad anecdote, after the fruit cart rolled over, the aunts desperately grabbed the fruit, and as a result, a large group of women and children were unconsciously taken away by traffickers.

12. My son likes dinosaurs very much and always sits there and draws them. I'm afraid he's tired and says, let's play a game together. I've decided, so you can't move! You can't move until I say the solution! The son said, ok, but I'll start first. I was standing right there. Then the son said, now you can draw with peace of mind. I

Thirteen, buy watermelon, I saw a big sister next to me professionally pick up half a watermelon and put it next to her ear, listening and shooting. Brother hawker looked at her blankly for a while: Sister, my watermelon has been cut. Why are you still filming?

14. I was stopped by a woman when I went shopping, saying that I lost my wallet and asked me to take a few dollars to take the bus. I said I didn't bring any cash. As a result, she said that she could use WeChat Alipay. Damn it, liars keep up with the times now!

Teacher: Please make sentences with the enemy. Student A: I drank 100 tons of dichlorvos yesterday. It's delicious. Teacher: Get out! Here you are 100 bottle!

Sixteen, a friend who is an urban management invited seven or eight people to have a snack. While eating, they talked about their work. A friend of the urban management said: the urban management has been said to be broken, and it is not so easy to do now. Just moved chopsticks, I don't know what that brother said: the urban management itself is terrible! Now no one wants to check.

Seventeen, the classmate's mother buys things online and communicates with the shopkeeper. I was going to ask you if you could pay on delivery. Can you live long enough to pay? . . . . . After a long time, the host replied weakly: dear! I will fight for it. . .

Remember to ask a friend who has worked for three years, what impressed you most in high school? Answer: Aunt's trembling hand in the canteen. Can you read it?

Nineteen, all departments work overtime until late at night. A colleague and sister were called to the manager's office for some unknown reason and soon came out angrily. It seems that they have probably been criticized. I saw my sister blushing and coming over angrily, saying: adding a class is like a strong J. The key is a strong J. You are not tight enough!

Turn on the TV when you just smoke and see that smoking can lead to lung cancer and nasopharyngeal cancer. It's terrible. I was scared, so I made up my mind never to watch TV again, damn it, it was horrible.

Twenty-one, I quarreled with my mother at night, and suddenly she came to turn off the lights. I said, Mom, what are you doing? She said, I want to hack you!

Twenty-two, when I suddenly remembered the university, the teacher wrote a pair of couplets: the country is rich and strong, the family is rich and strong, and the country is rich and strong. Class Committee's couplet: the sky is magnificent, the earth is magnificent, and the world is magnificent! Later, I was kicked out of the classroom because my bottom line was: you MD, he MD, you MD!

Twenty-three, the ugly girl went on a blind date. The boy can't help drooling. Sorry, I can't help it! Ugly girl is very happy: you are the first man who drools when he sees me. I am so delicious. The boy said, no way. When I see your big face, I think of moon cakes, or Wuren moon cakes-acne is red beans, acne is sesame seeds, boils are peanuts, wrinkles are walnuts, black teeth are melon seeds ... The ugly girl left the door crying. . .

Son: I only got 25 points in the English exam, but the whole class scored very low. Mom: I don't care how many points others get. You can't be so low! The next day, son: I got 90 points in math. Mom: What about the others?

Twenty-five, our generation is getting old with the company of higher and higher pixel mobile phone cameras. I asked a girl: When do you think you are the most talented? She replied: when taking selfies, one person does lighting, camera shooting, action guidance, pre-layout, post-production, makeup artist, makeup artist and framing. There will be writers, directors and publicity group guests when it is released! Me!

Twenty-six, in primary school, I thought kissing would get pregnant. When I was in junior high school, I always thought my penis was used to pee. Just the year before last, I thought cucumbers were just vegetables and bananas were fruits. What makes me speechless is that last year I thought black fungus was for eating and chrysanthemum was for making tea.

Twenty-seven, an uncle was holding a lovely girl on the bus, obviously feeling that the old cow ate the tender grass. Sister Meng said: Have you ever thought about your wife's feelings when you hold me like this? Uncle: I'll go home and ask your mother.

Twenty-eight, gentleness is necessary, but not compromise. Life can't be without pursuit. Without pursuit, the motivation of life will be lost. But you can't force it. If you force yourself, you will put yourself in shoes and be unhappy everywhere. People who are pursuing, but not demanding, will become free and easy, happy and happy.

Twenty-nine Are you still angry? W: If you give me a box of ice cream, you may not be angry. M: Still breaking up? W: If you don't give me an apple, you may break up. M: Can we not quarrel next time? Woman: Then you have to give me another pack of spicy strips!

Wukong: Master, I saw a blind man walking on the road with a lantern. What's the use of a blind man playing lanterns? Master: If he is afraid that others can't see clearly, this is Confucianism. If he is afraid of being beaten by others, this is Mohism; If he thinks that he wants to play lanterns when he goes out at night, this is the Legalist school; If he thinks he wants to fight, why do you ask? This is Taoism. If he lets you guess, this is Buddhism; If he is pretending to be blind, this is a politician.

Thirty-one, beautiful female colleagues take special care of me. I can't help it, but I have to avoid it, because the whole department knows that she has a special relationship with her boss! Until the boss called me to the office and gave you two choices! Either leave immediately or become boyfriend and girlfriend with xx! Say that! Take out a bank card and put it in front of me! I felt very happy when I was single, but I was lost in thought at the thought of her slightly bulging abdomen!

Feng: Dear magician, please make me more beautiful! Magician: Why don't you see a doctor? Xifeng: The doctor can't help it. Now we can only hope for magic. Magician.

Thirty-three I quarreled with my girlfriend some time ago and hit her. I found that she started watching Conan, a famous detective. She has watched more than 500 episodes, and her eyes are not quite right. I don't know if it's too late to apologize.

A couple were reading together in a coffee shop, and the man began to hum along with the long music. Woman: Hey, has anyone ever told you that you sing beautifully? Man: No woman: Don't sing without it!

Thirty-five years old, Lao Zhang is dark and short, but he married a beautiful daughter-in-law, but the daughter-in-law cheated on him. Lao Zhang told his friend after learning about it: "I was born at the wrong time. If I had been born in the Song Dynasty, I would have been like this. My daughter-in-law was having an affair. Maybe I am Song Jiang! " ! The friend said that Song Jiang still wanted to kill his wife. You are a Wu Dalang at best!

I plucked up the courage to break up with my girlfriend of two years. She looked blank, indicating that she had never been with me. Me: But obviously, we often watch dinner, go shopping, watch movies and chat together. She was puzzled and said, aren't all good friends like this?

Thirty-seven, going out shopping, a woman walked in front of me. This is normal. Suddenly, it's like a ghost. I scratched my hands everywhere, stomped my feet there desperately, and shouted nonsense that it was terrible to hurt Nima at night. So I told my friend to go away quickly. I have a bad feeling that I just dropped my cigarette butt on someone else.

Thirty-eight, a pair of twin brothers, Zhao Zhao and Chao Chao! Zhaozhao made an appointment with a beautiful woman. After that, she said she would go out for a cigarette. After a few minutes, Chao Chao went in, and so on! Chaochao complained to me: You said you had a father! Climb out of the same belly at the same time! Temper and personality are the same! Why is that thing different? What are you talking about? He cried even harder: when it was my turn, the woman said that my chicken lost a lot of weight after I finished smoking a cigarette!

39. Reporter: What is economy? Hotel purchasing: saving is to recycle the dishes that others don't want in the vegetable market. Hotel chef: Saving means serving leftovers to guests. Hotel manager: Saving means passing on the dishes that the last guest can't finish to the next guest. Hotel Attendant: Economy is the dishes that are picked up. ......

40. You said, it's summer, why do you still buy a small sun in the supermarket? B: It should be an off-season promotion. Don't listen to his nonsense This product goes out without glasses. They sell electric fans.

Forty-one, walking on the journey of life, we touch a life with many edges and corners. There is no need to lament for difficulties, only the words of frustration and sadness; We are looking at an elegant soul, so we don't have to be emotional for nothingness and lose our voice for sinking. Seeing is not equal to seeing; Seeing is not equal to seeing clearly; Seeing clearly does not mean understanding; Understanding is not equal to seeing through; Seeing through is different from seeing through. When we know that face is the least important, we really grow up.

Forty-two, junior high school has a crush on a beautiful woman at the same table. I like watching her laugh, reading books and answering questions. I pay attention to her all the time. She likes to wear skirts. Once she stood up to answer a question. I saw her skirt caught in her ass, so I pulled it out for her, but she said, don't touch my skirt, rascal. I felt bored, so I stuffed it back for her.

Forty-three, the weather is good, I'm going to buy a New Pants to wear! After shopping for a long time, I finally took a fancy to it, so I went to the fitting room to change my pants. Because I lost my balance when I was standing, I broke the door and fell out. I will never forget the eyes of people around me when I wear pants with one leg showing half my ass.

44. When a man loves you, even if someone tells him that you sleep at home every day, he will refute others and say, I just want to raise my daughter-in-law to be fat for nothing, huh? When he doesn't love you, even if you clean the window, he will step on it and say that you didn't even mop the floor.

Forty-five, the sports meeting runs1000 m. Snickers eat, pulse drinks, red bull drinks, Gatorade drinks and Nike wears. . . As a result, I sprained my ankle while warming up. .

Poke a word from the heart

It's not that I'm indifferent to you, but that my feelings for you are a lot dull, a little less fantasy, and the rest are just trivial fragments.

Poke a word from the heart

1. What do you want to say to your predecessor? Am I still qualified?

Since you can't change everything, let it be.

Third, I dare not think too much, for fear that the more I think about it, the more I think you don't love me. Although I have been looking forward to it, I have also learned not to expect it. They always tell me not to think too much, but I know that it is not that I can solve it if I think too much, but that things are not solved at all.

I am lonely now, but I don't want to try to cater to others in order to get along with them.

I am afraid that today's misery will turn into embarrassment in the future, so I am unwilling and don't want to give up like this.

6. Society is full of impetuousness, desire, anxiety and indifference, and clowns of all walks of life are extremely ugly. ..

Seven, it's another year of stop-and-go. It's hard to keep the initial heart, saying over and over again that everything will be fine, but is everything all right? This city is full of feasts, and I revel every night. I am always alone. ...

Eight, why always put yourself in a humble corner in love, even as humble as dust!

Nine, the wind has lived in the dust and fragrant flowers, and I am tired of combing my hair at night. Things are people, not everything, and tears flow first. It is said that Shuangxi spring is still good, and I plan to go boating, for fear that Shuangxi can't bear much worry.

Ten, a person, sometimes listening to music is also good. Some things cannot be done by one person.

I didn't want you to go, but you left anyway.

Embarrassed, people who say they love me don't care about my habits.

Thirteen, I want to find my deepest self and live up to my life.

Fourteen, a person can also, I wish you a happy birthday. Go to bed early and be an energetic and beautiful girl tomorrow.

15. I have always been a loner, with no companions and no shelter.

Sixteen, life is full of plants and trees, and you can't do too many embarrassing things.

Seventeen, riding a car, tired and resting, just don't know where you are.

Eighteen, I am also very headstrong in front of others. The so-called sensible is just my caution. Love you carefully.

Nineteen, with the growth, fewer and fewer friends are left behind, and it must be very important to stay.

Twenty, I can rely on you to be brave.

Twenty-one, you must ride a motorcycle across the rainy street at absurd nights.

I'm sorry I like you so much that I have to embarrass you.

23. The more I like it, the more humble I am, the more embarrassed I am, the more uneasy I am, and the more sad I am. Be in a dilemma, and then find that the only thing left is complaining, which will eventually become regret.

Twenty-four, I used to be such a person, and now I am running for my life.

25. How long will I have to wait to see you?

What's it like to love someone who doesn't love you?

Twenty-seven, a person used to think that the difference between being poor is that there is meat and no meat for dinner, and there is a person you like. Feeling poor has brought me a deep sense of inferiority.

I will never forget that the first cigarette my brother asked me for was for a woman.

Twenty-nine, living casually is the life I want.

Thirty-one, what should I do? I miss you deeply, but it is obvious that everything has not yet begun.

32. Taking a relationship seriously is sure to screw it up. Everything you do with your heart will rot in the end.

33. I don't know how to say feelings. Many people appeared on the other side, and I became more and more embarrassed and treated them well.

There is nothing to be afraid of in love, but I haven't met the next person who is tempted yet.

35. Like a flame, like a reflection, like the gentle light in your heart.

Thirty-six, the feeling of being loved is always a little uneasy, and people who are afraid of being loved will eventually be embarrassed.

When you miss someone, miss them as much as possible. Maybe one day, you won't miss him so much. On that day, you will miss the feeling of missing someone very much. When you love someone, love him as much as possible and let him know how much you love him. Maybe one day, when you grow up, you will be hurt too much, disappointed too much and think too much.

A low-level sentence.

A low-level sentence.

1, those who come to post, Xifeng, to tell you the truth, your fucking looks are really wicked.

2. Men spend money to make women happy, while women spend money because men make them unhappy.

3. It's good to know what you are.

4, you are not a VIp, not even an Ip, you are just a P!

5. Is the child born to two people with type B blood type 2B?

6. Are you tired? Just tired. Comfort is for the dead.

7. When I came into this world, I didn't intend to go back alive.

When my mother turned into a swan, you were still an egg.

9. Your new love is someone else's whore.

10, girl, your fashionable dress, especially those black cotton socks with sandals, is really amazing!

1 1, a good man is to sleep with a girl repeatedly for a lifetime.

12, I miss those days when I ate single-celled animals.

13, Big Wolf, Big Stupid Wolf, can never beat Pleasant Goat, but can still serve red taro.

14, when you looked up at me, I finally understood why you lowered your head. Don't feel inferior!

15, I am relieved to know that you are not doing well.

16, boycott breast enhancement surgery, and don't pollute the last safe milk source!

17 years later. I still remember that winter night, she was covered with big men.

18, take the initiative in everything, such as climbing the wall and other almonds.

19. When most people care about whether you fly high or not, only a few people care about whether you are tired or not. This is friendship.

20. If you are the one, if a female guest turns off another man's light, the aunt downstairs in the dormitory can turn off the whole floor! ! !

2 1, don't think you are Wu Dalang, just think that Yao Ming is made by two people.

22. The Phoenix that once played here, so that this place is named after them, failed to keep the appointment and waited all night. From then on, Wan Li cried.

23. Dude, you can't treat me like a holiday just because we have a holiday …

24. Put yourself in the right position, don't fart, and don't take yourself too seriously.

25. Bus crowding is a comprehensive sport, including Sanda, yoga, judo and balance beam.

There is no doubt that I am the poor man in your dream.

President Bush has a secretary named Wang Fugui.

28, money is not everything, sometimes you still need to use a credit card …

29, eat, I want, thin, I want, you can't have your cake and eat it, I went.

Don't wait until you can't hand in your work tomorrow to make excuses. Find it today.

3 1, ugly, but ugly is special, that is, very ugly.

32. Look at your five senses. This kind of art has caught up with the horror movie Emergency Room.

33. From heaven to hell, I passed by …

34. Beating is kissing, scolding is love, always scolding your mother, and it is almost emotional with your mother.

35. Don't take yourself seriously. May I ask who is speaking?

36. I'm going to get a haircut. I twisted my neck with bangs.

37. Don't put everything on the last life, when you are in love-the fate of the last life, when you are divorced-the injustice of the last life.

38. I got married because I liked it, and later divorced because I was wrong.

39. The story told today is not far from now. If you have an old man at home, you can go back and ask him-during the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period. ...

40, even if you want to cry again, you should smile and say: you are a grandfather!

On the Classic Quotations of Tears in Short Sentences

A short sentence pokes the tears in the classic quotations:

Everyone has a restless heart when he is young. Most sadness of youth is an illusion. I don't really know the taste of pain because I haven't fallen on my head and experienced the hardships of life. Life is the best teacher. When you have experienced many vicissitudes, you will naturally learn to be quiet; When you are really desperate, you will naturally learn to stand up and fight your way out. Only by cherishing the present can we not be afraid of the future.

2, leisurely behavior, compared with aggressive attitude, is more heartbreaking.

What man can really understand and appreciate in the end is just the same thing as himself.

4. It is not unusual to meet love, sex, sweet talk, sweet talk, temptation and heartbeat these days. The internet is so developed, emotions are so cheap, and more people love with their mouths. I rarely meet people who are willing to understand themselves. Even if they don't understand, they are willing to spend energy and patience to understand themselves.

The most disappointing feeling is that I can't be others and I can't be myself.

6. You have read some books, watched some movies and lived some lives. You know what is right and wrong in your heart, what kind of life is the safest, and who you are with will definitely not get hurt. But one day when a person appears, you know in your heart that it is wrong to fall in love with him, and you can also restrain your feelings and maintain superficial peace. But one day, he beckons to you, and you will still walk past like you are out of your mind, just like fate has arranged.

7. There are two realms in life, one is silent pain and the other is silent laughter. Wordless pain is a kind of wisdom, and wordless smile is an open mind.

8. Being kind to yourself means not losing yourself and loving yourself. A person who doesn't even love himself, who does he expect to love himself?

9. You are unhappy because you don't love yourself well. You often consume yourself because of others.

10, it is better to meet if you miss it, and it is better to entangle with it. The quickest way to get love is to give it. The quickest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly. The best way to keep love is to give it a pair of wings and let it fly freely. Happiness can't stand tossing. Love is two people living together. Only love without love, no fit! True love, just stick to it. Without the mutual running-in like purgatory, how can there be a romantic life with heart and soul!

1 1. Life is a process of cultivation. Why should we treat people and things with such an uneven heart, humiliate ourselves and live up to the years?

12, no matter where you go, no matter what you will encounter in the future, please start with a sunny mood.

13, I'm past the age of showing off and making noise. When I meet something I like, I will try my best to do it. I no longer expect the response and encouragement from people around me, and I no longer care about other people's praise and rhetoric. I won't make a hullabaloo about because of excitement, nor will I pray for others' understanding and relief because of depression. Good, bad have learned not to exaggerate, not to shout. I learned to live a serious life in a humorous way.

14. Don't forget those who helped you, don't hate those who loved you, and don't cheat those who trusted you.

15, how can you understand the word vicissitudes of life and apathy of the world without reading it? Without looking at the delicate and charming flowers, how can you know the prosperity and glitz? You can only understand if you have experienced it.

A classic saying about tears in a short sentence:

1, learn to warm your right hand with your left hand when no one is warming you.

From one city to another, we must work hard by ourselves. Learn to grow, learn to bear, learn to cry, and then you can hug your parents with a smile.

Forgiving others' mistakes is not necessarily a virtue. Ignoring your own mistakes is the most irresponsible release.

I'm glad that someone finally saw through my true colors. I pretended to be too tired.

I like being alone, so I am close to everyone, but I am alienated from everyone. I like quiet, so I always come and go alone. I like indifference, so I always sit in the dark.

God didn't give us the chance to meet at the right time.

7. Some words can only be said to yourself, and some things can only be really put down if you understand them.

8. I want to be a selfish woman and selfishly own everything that belongs to me.

9. Is there such a person? No matter how much I miss you, I will never see you again.

10, you have lived for another person for too long, now you have to be yourself.

1 1, I suddenly miss someone very much, only to find that I only have the right to miss.

12, many times, because there is no choice, people tend to take the right path.

13, heart, since it can't be the same, let it be completely broken.

14, in front of some people, you don't have to tolerate again and again, and you can't let others trample on your bottom line.

15, love is a person walking from a one-way street to a two-way street with a hazy mood.

16, you will never grow unless you try to do something beyond your ability.

17. To love someone is to grow up with him for a long time and die together in the last few years of life.

18, a person must have at least two impulses in his life, a desperate love and a trip to leave.

19. When you can't hold on, remember to tell yourself to hold on.

20. When I want to love you, you are gone.

2 1. Why does it still hurt every time I see you? Is it because you planted something in my heart?

22, always so cowardly, always looking at your back after leaving.

When we first met, I didn't expect you to be so important to me.

24. Sometimes, the person you want most is actually the person you should leave most.

The biggest advantage of maturity is that you don't want what you didn't get before.

26, because you missed it, others will meet; Because others miss it, you have a chance to have it.

27. The sunshine is mild and the years are quiet. If you don't come, how dare I get old?

28. I feel like an insect solidified in amber by gel.

29. I'll never find the manuscript and erase you.

30. It is obvious that I let go, but I always lose to reality when I am intoxicated with laughter, just because I think of pain.