Joke Collection Website - Mood Talk - Tell me about stealing fruit.
Tell me about stealing fruit.
Give it to you, and you deny it. "This idiot laughed at me," Monkey said. Five hundred years ago, when I visited Xiandao, I traveled all over the world. I've never seen anything like it. " Pig said, "Brother, have you seen ginseng fruit? "I've never seen it before," Monkey said in great shock. "。 However, people often hear that ginseng fruit belongs to Dan, and people can live longer if they eat it. Where is it now? "Here it is," Pig said. The boy took two to eat with his master, but the old man didn't know them yet. Tao is a child under three dynasties and never dares to eat them. The young man is lazy, and if the host doesn't eat, let us eat. He kept it from us, and then he was comfortably in the next room, eating out one by one, which made my mouth water. How to taste new by yourself? I think you're a little sloppy. How about stealing some from his garden and tasting it? " "It's easy," Monkey said. "I will get it easily." He hurried away and made her way forward. Pig grabbed him and said, "Brother, I heard him say in this room that he was going to hit a golden hammer. It must be done properly and must not be leaked. " "I know, I know," Monkey said. .
The Great Sage used invisibility to sneak into the Taoist priest's room. It turned out that the two Taoist priests ate the fruit and went to the temple to talk to the Tang Priest, but they were not in the room. Monkey looked around to see what kind of golden hammer it was, but he saw a red gold hanging on the windowsill: it was two feet long and as thick as a finger; At the bottom are jealous leaders; It has eyes and a green velvet rope. He said, "I think this thing is called the golden hammer." But he took it down, went out of the Taoist's room, went into the inner room, pushed open two doors and looked up. But this is a garden! But see: Zhu Lanbao threshold, curved peak. Strange flowers and plants compete with its beautiful scenery, and the bamboo is blue.
Outside Liu Bei's pavilion, a curved green willow seems to smoke; Before enjoying the moon, several clusters of pretty flowers splashed with indigo. Red wind, brocade nest pomegranate; Green yiyi, embroidered grass. Green velvet, green sand orchid; Wandering, facing the stream.
Dangui reflects the phoenix tree in Jinjing, and Huai Jin is next to Zhu Lan. There are red or white chiba peaches and fragrant or yellow autumn chrysanthemums. Tea rack, reflecting peony pavilion; Furong terrace, connected to peony nursery. I can't get enough of gentleman bamboo in Ao Shuang, but I'm too loose to bully Dr. Xue. There is also a deer house in Hezhuang, a marsh and a round pool; Broken jade in spring and gold in calyx. The north wind touches the plum blossom white, and the spring breaks the begonia red. As the saying goes, the best fairyland in the world is the top flowers in the west. The monkey couldn't finish reading it, but he saw another door. He opened it and saw a vegetable garden: four-season vegetables, spinach and ginger moss.
Bamboo shoots, potatoes, melons, water bamboo, onions, garlic, coriander, leeks. Chrysanthemum morifolium is bitter, and gourd and eggplant must be planted.
Stewed radish buried in sheep's head, red amaranth green, purple mustard green. Monkey said with a smile, "He's a Taoist, too. He supports himself." Walking through the vegetable garden, I saw another door. Look away, yeah! I see a big tree in the middle. It is covered with green branches and gloomy green leaves, but Ye Er looks like a banana. It is thousands of feet high and its roots are seven or eight feet long. Monkey leaned under the tree and looked up. He saw a ginseng fruit on the south branch, which really looked like a child. It turns out that there is a pedicel on the tail. Look at him standing on the branch, his hands and feet moving, nodding his head, and the wind seems to be ringing. Monkey was overjoyed and secretly praised him, "Good thing!
It is really rare! It is really rare! "He leaned against the tree and went up with a bang.
That monkey was once the first to climb a tree and steal fruit. He struck the golden hammer and the fruit fell. He jumped down and followed, but it was gone. He looked around in the grass and there was no trace. "Find another way," Monkey said. Find another way! If you think people with feet can walk, you can't jump off the wall when you walk. I see. I didn't think I was allowed to steal his fruit from the garden land, so he took it. " He twisted his strategy, recited the word "Nazi" and arrested the garden land. He saluted Monkey and said, "Great Sage, what can I do for you?" "You don't know that I am a famous thief in the world," Monkey said. . I've stolen flat peaches, royal wine and magic pills before, and no one dares to share them with me. Why did you steal one of his fruits and chop off my head today? This fruit belongs to the tree, and the birds in the air should share it. What's the harm if I eat one? How can you fish it out? "
The disciples said, "Great Sage, you are wrong about the little gods. This treasure is immortal, and the little god is a ghost fairy. How dare you take it? Even if you smell it, you will not be blessed. " "Since you didn't shoot it, how did you shoot it and disappear? "Asked the monkey." The Great Sage only knows the longevity of this treasure, but he doesn't know its source. "Where did the land come from? "Asked the monkey." It will take 3,000 years for this baby to blossom, 3,000 years for it to bear fruit and 1,000 years for it to mature, "Tutti said. Ten thousand years to go, only thirty. There are people who are destined to live to 360 years old; You can live for 47 thousand years by eating one. But it is only afraid of the five elements. ""Why are you afraid of the five elements? " Asked the monkey. The land said, "this fruit falls when it meets gold, withers when it meets wood, melts when it meets water, burns when it meets fire, and enters when it meets soil." You must use gold when you knock. Come down, but the plate is padded with silk; If you receive some wood, it will wither. If you eat it, you won't prolong your life. To eat him, you must use porcelain, melt it with clear water, and it will burn in case of fire, which is useless. The Great Sage was buried as soon as he landed. This soil is 47,000 years old. Even with a steel drill, he can't drill out some whiskers that are three or four points harder than pig iron. If people eat it, they will live forever. When the Great Sage doesn't believe me, you can hit this underground. " Monkey immediately picked up the golden cudgel and made it. It popped up with a bang, and there was no trace on the soil. "It's true," Monkey said. . Sure enough! My stick will be crushed if it touches a stone, and there will be traces when it touches pig iron. How can it not hurt at all? I was wrong about you when I said this. Go home. "The land will be returned to this temple.
But the Great Sage had a plan: climb the tree, hit it with one hand, and pull up the brocade with the other hand, and make a bag to wait for him. But he knocked three fruits, put them in his lapel, jumped out of the tree and went straight to the kitchen. Pig said with a smile, "Brother, have you?" "Isn't it?" Asked the monkey. I put it in my pocket. Don't take this fruit with Friar Sand, just call him. "Pig immediately waved," Jason Wu, come. "
Friar Sand dropped his luggage and ran into the kitchen. "Brother, what do you want me to do?" Monkey opened his pocket and said, "Brother, what do you think this is?" Friar Sand saw it and said, "It's ginseng fruit." "Good," Monkey said. . Do you know where you have eaten? "Friar Sand said.
"I haven't eaten it, but I used to be a shutter general. I helped Shi Luanyu go to a flat peach banquet and tasted the fruit of overseas immortals and the birthday banquet of the Queen Mother. I saw it, but I didn't eat it. Brother, can you have a taste with me? " "Needless to say, brothers are family," Monkey said. The three of them will each benefit from the three fruits. Pigs eat large intestines and have big mouths. While listening to the boy eating, he didn't feel greedy for the worm arch. He saw the fruit coming and swallowed it with his mouth open, but he glanced at it in vain and asked Monkey Friar Sand, "What are you eating?" Friar Sand said, "Ginseng fruit." "What's that smell?" Pig asked. The monkey said, "Jason Wu, ignore him! You ate first. Who did you ask? " "Brother," Pig said, "I'm busy eating, unlike you who chew and savor carefully. I didn't know if it was nuclear, so I swallowed it. Brother, think of others. I've already mobilized my greedy worm. I'll get another one and let the old pig eat it carefully. " "Brother," Monkey said, "you can't help eating this. It's not as good as that meal with spaghetti. For example, there are only 30 knots in 10 thousand years, and it is also a great fate for us to eat this one. Stop it! Hey! "
He got up, hid a golden hammer from the window and threw it into his room, but ignored him.
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