The most incisive and humorous copy

1. It takes thousands of years to change from a monkey to a human, and only one bottle of wine is needed to change from a human to a monkey.

2. Why try to make money? Because I am afraid to shake hands with others. They are wearing Cartier and you are wearing a rubber band.

Every time I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

Time is the best teacher, but it's a pity that he finally killed all the students.

5. When you are alive, be laughed at first, then laugh at others, and then laugh.

It's a grave.

When we were young, we often made faces in the mirror. In old age, mirrors are flat.

Poverty is a thin curtain, I am here and the first class is there.

Remember those people who chat with you late into the night, because they make your dark circles so heavy and your skin so bad.

I accepted your promise to feed the dog last night.

The dog was found dead the next morning.

10. Life is like a dream, always insomnia; Life is like a play, I always wear help; Life is like a song, I always go out of tune; Life is like a battlefield, and I am always possessed.

1 1. When I was a child, I thought that life was a jump in the poetry of piano, chess, calligraphy and painting. When I grew up, I discovered that it turned out to be rice, oil, salt, sauce and vinegar tea.

I fell in love with my bed. We are both made for each other, but the alarm clock doesn't think so, jealous bad thing.

13. The iron pestle can be ground into a needle, and the wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. If the materials are wrong, no matter how hard you try.

14. My goal in life is

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When I was ten years old, I owned my own house in Beijing. Now I have finished half of my goal: I have done it.

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Ten years old.

In fact, I was not fat when I was a child. Really, the phrase "no leftovers" ruined my life.

16. You never know how bad your luck is without buying lottery tickets, how bad your popularity is without borrowing money, and how ugly you are without confessing.

17. Having a son means having an enemy, and when you grow up, you bring back an enemy. Giving birth to a daughter means giving birth to a relative and bringing back a servant when you grow up.

18. I was beaten when I was a child. I am so wronged that I feel that I am definitely not my own. I always plan to run away from home. Now that I have children, I suddenly realize that my parents didn't kill me, but they really love me!

Nineteen. Parents fool their children into calling education; Children fool their parents and say that their parents are derailed; Fooling each other is called the generation gap.

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I suggest you go to bed early and get up early, don't smoke, don't drink, don't play online games, don't eat midnight snack, don't go to nightclubs, drink more tea, stay healthy, talk less, think more and form good habits. Over time, you will find that you have no friends.