How to pay attention to tone of voice, cadence and gestures?

Speech and Eloquence is a good book. The above may help you solve the problem.

Here I will focus on the issue of gestures.

Gesture is also an extremely complex symbol, which can express a certain meaning. Gestures can play a more direct communication role in interpersonal communication. Reach out your hand in the opposite direction, and you meet it and hold it, which is a sign of friendship and sincerity; If you don't reach out coldly or shake the other person's hand a little lazily, it means that you don't want to make friends with him; Applause means expressing approval and gratitude. In conversation, if you give the other person a thumbs-up, it is naturally a compliment, while if you give the little finger, it is demeaning. These are self-evident symbols and cannot be abused at will. However, people often involuntarily show some inappropriate gestures in interpersonal communication, which affects friendly communication.

Therefore, the use of gestures should be standardized and moderate. When talking with people, don't use too many gestures and too big movements, which makes people feel elegant, reserved and polite. It is generally believed that the gesture of palms up means sincerity and respect for others; The gesture of palm down indicates a lack of frankness, sincerity, etc. A clenched fist implies attack and self-defense, and also expresses anger. Point out that your finger is to attract others' attention, which means teaching others. Therefore, when pointing the way and indicating the direction, pay attention to the fingers naturally close together, palm up, point to the target with the elbow joint as the fulcrum, and never extend the index finger to point the direction.

Of course, it is not enough to just rely on gestures, but also to look numb or careless. Only the coordination of facial expressions and body movements can give people a warm and comfortable feeling.

In addition, the use of gestures should also pay attention to cultural differences. The same gesture has different meanings in different countries and regions.

For example, in China, Britain, the United States and other countries, the palm of your hand is placed at the height of the child's head parallel to the ground to show the height of the child. However, in Latin American countries such as Mexico, this gesture can only be used to indicate the height of animals. They indicate the child's height by turning their palms to the left or forward and bending the second joint of their fingers. Therefore, the gesture of expressing people's height in China is mistaken by Latin Americans as treating people as animals and deliberately insulting people.

In China, people invite people by waving their palms down, but when the Englishman sees this symbol, he will turn and leave, because according to British custom, it means "goodbye". If they call someone over, they will raise their hands and bend their fingers several times. But in China and Japan, this gesture will be looked down upon, because it can be easily understood as greeting animals and children in China and Japan.

Besides, when an American comes to China, if he stands on the highway and gives a thumbs up, most people don't understand that he wants a ride. In China, thumbs-up means everything is fine, which means praise; In Nigeria and Australia, that's swearing; In Japan, if a girl gives a thumb to a single man, she is asking him if he has a girlfriend. If you don't understand, and she gives a thumbs up, the girl will think that you are inviting her out to play.

Use your thumb and forefinger to form a circle, and the other three fingers are slightly open, indicating "OK" in the United States, expressing praise and commitment; In some parts of France, it can sometimes be interpreted as zero, meaning "worthless"; In Brazil, Russia and Turkey, it means swearing; In Japan, it means "money" and "currency"

Stretch out your index finger and turn around at the temple. In America and Brazil, it means that someone is crazy. In Argentina, it means that someone wants to talk to you on the phone; When driving in Germany, it means to scold others for their poor driving skills.

Therefore, in international communication, when using body language and gestures, we should pay attention to the local expression meaning of the action to avoid being in a very disappointing and embarrassing situation.