Nettle Fields, Thorny Roads (Miscellaneous Notes on Adventures in Colorado's Small Canyons)

As a novice, I was attracted by Measuring Mountains and Rivers’ post on “Colorado Canyon Adventure”, and my feet began to itch, so I walked on the scarred and thorny road in a daze. Just like a love story, the first love is always sweet in the beginning. Our initial trip was also full of laughter, flowers and fruits.

When this beautiful scenery is delicious, the women behave like gentlemen: they only use their mouths. Either exclaiming or eating such and such fruits, whether they grow on trees or fall to the ground after ripening, all comers are welcome. The behavior of men can only be classified as villains: because they always take action. Either pick fruit or take photos. Both gentlemen and villains are very busy.

A story must have characters to make it vivid. Let me first talk about our team leader Shan He. Since entering the mountains, he has changed from the decadent image he had while waiting for the bus in the morning. He has become lively and even excited, and even danced hula on the narrow mountain road. Readers, please imagine: The sturdy Shanhe appears almost naked, with only a furry skirt around her waist and a grass skirt made of green nettle leaves. She dances and shakes her head, much like African dance, and the scene is very entertaining. All the team members were naturally very cooperative and burst into laughter. {Please give me some applause when you see this, thank you. }

Let’s talk about the deputy team leader Laolai, who is also affectionately called “Lao Nai” by her talented sister. Captain Shan He kept calling this title in various tones like disgusting, perverted, hot, soft... all the way, which made Lao Lai feel even more devastated and tortured. He deeply regretted this trip and was helpless to do anything about it. , I had no choice but to charge forward alone wearing short sleeves and bare arms, swinging my stick across the nettle field, using eighteen methods of beating a dog with a stick, beating the innocent nettle leaves to pieces and leaving corpses across the ground to vent their anger. Fortunately, he was praised as a hero by his sisters because he had made great contributions in paving the way in his old age, so his wounded heart was somewhat comforted.

Let’s talk about BEIKER next. Please join me in observing 2 seconds of silence for BEIKER to show sympathy. Shunzhi BEIKER's declaration - it's not my fault that I'm tall! For walking through thorn bushes, BEIKER's height of 1.8 meters is too tall. We can all squat and crawl through the place. BEIKER has to take off his backpack and crawl over in a very unbeautiful posture, raising his head with a look of embarrassment. Show your face. Of course, this wonderful shot has been captured by the talented sister without losing the opportunity. However, even though BEIKER walked so hard, he still did not forget his duty as a photographer and recorded the scenery for us along the way.

Please allow me to take a break before continuing. It took us almost three hours in the morning to free ourselves from the tenacious struggle with nettles, dead vines, and thorns. Although the nettles suffered heavy losses, we did not take advantage of them. During the march, almost all of us were struck by the nettles. The stinging, numbing, itching, pain, and spicy sensations after being touched by the nettles were so unsettling! The sisters screamed one after another, and Cuiping's leg still opened a bloody hole after screaming. Fortunately, Cuiping was well prepared and put on a band-aid in time.

Looking at the nettles that grew to three or four meters high, I immediately thought of the Valley of Heartless Love Flower Poison in martial arts novels. The endless nettles in this canyon are almost the same as the love flowers in the Jueqing Valley. She couldn't help but make a dark calculation in her heart - if someone is heartbroken, she will bring her unfaithful lover here, choose a place with dense nettles and push it down, and then pretend to be sad and say: If this makes you miserable, then I will be there I have been reincarnated a thousand times in hell, and your pain is really not as great as the pain in my heart! Then he was left writhing and struggling in the nettles and walked away. {Please forgive me for being vicious. Although I try to be as angelic as possible, the devil resident in my heart will occasionally rear its head. }

It was already past two o'clock until lunch. Because I left the house in a hurry and didn’t bring any food with me, I made up my mind to eat and drink, but I felt quite uneasy inside. When I turned around, I saw that there was another guy who was messing around, and he was our invincible Captain Shanhe. I immediately felt relieved: The captain is messing around, so it’s okay for me to mess around. yeah--! Fortunately, other teammates brought a lot of food, and even desserts and fruits. Even though two gangsters helped, they didn't finish the food.

There are also some interludes during the break, such as female "solo", female "duet", male "solo" and so on.

Laolai and Cangke repeatedly made requests for "male and female chorus" and "male and female vocal duet", but they were ignored and ended in a boring way. Closer to home, I want to talk about the last man of this trip, Cangke. This gentleman doesn't speak much, is relatively reserved, and is defined as gentle by sister Yanran. I almost put him in the BEIKER team. However, this gentleman's integrity was not maintained until the end, and the end of the year was not guaranteed. When they were preparing dinner at the mutton restaurant after getting off the mountain, Changke showed great attentiveness to the mutton girl and asked for help. However, the reserved mutton girl only left him with a departing figure, and an off-screen interlude was played amidst the laughter of his sister. "Very Hurt". But Cangke was unwilling and decided to change the target. While he was drinking heavily, he asked the handsome guys on the left and right to have his arms cut off, but Shanhe on the right replied, "I have a boyfriend." The Laolai on the left replied, "I only like girlfriends." They both refused. Cangke lamented in his heart - is there no market for me in such a big world? ! Over dinner, the gentle man turned into a sharp man.

There are four girls on this trip, Beike, Yanran, Youcai, and Cuiping. Beike can be regarded as a die-hard fan of Shanhe. Every time he joins Shanhe’s troops, you can see Beike. Not only is Shell beautiful, but his laughter is also the most contagious. When Shell smiles, the skylarks fly up to the treetops. As for Yanran, as her name suggests, she is gentle, gentle, and considerate. But she is very principled. When Shanhe asked Yanran to help bring back some rocks and tree roots, and gave her a reward of one yuan and ten cents as the transportation fee, Yanran resolutely resisted out of love for protecting nature. The temptation of one yuan and ten cents rejected the captain's unreasonable request. Shanhe's mantra along the way was "Take... home." If thoughts could move things, he would have moved the entire mountain. In contrast, sister Yanran is really upright and upright!

Let’s talk about the talented sister. She is tall and thin, and likes to wear a pair of pants that are a few centimeters shorter. Her ankles are exposed, and she walks elastically, so she looks like she is walking on stilts from behind. Youcai has a strong curiosity and is very expressive. His summary and comments have reached a certain level. I strongly recommend him to the captain. Youcai is very suitable for the position of political commissar. Please give Shanhe serious consideration.

The last guest of this issue, Cuiping, now makes his grand appearance. Cuiping originally had a very poetic name, but it was tampered with to look like a village girl, and she was as depressed as Laolai. Cuiping was the weakest donkey in the team, so he followed carefully for fear of falling behind. When passing by a slightly wider grassland, I saw a lot of cattle grazing. In front of me, Shanhe and Laolai hummed the Spanish matador dance music. This was good. Before Cuiping could recover, a cow rushed towards the red-clad She ran over with her clothes on, making Cuiping scream and run away with her head in her arms. I thought: The two bullfighters in front obviously had ulterior motives. I couldn't help but feel annoyed, and the two team leaders were helpless.

Our trip ended with the romantic Thumbtack Man telling the story of his first love. I am not allowed to reveal the story about Thumbtack Man, leaving a little suspense. Finally, I would like to remind the team leader and deputy team leader that regarding the issue of collecting party membership fees, the discussion results of several girls are as follows: If you have to pay the fee, it is no problem, and they have prepared some special gifts. On your wedding night, or when you bring your favorite girlfriend home, they are going to find someone to quietly lay the gift under your sheets - the gift is not heavy, just two kilograms of nettle leaves. how? I dare you to charge party dues! Hahahaha... {Please refer to the image of Mr. Xing laughing wildly here. }