Wonderful and funny copy, laughing too hard to stop.

1. One of my colleagues is allergic to mutton. His face swells when he eats mutton, so everyone takes him with him every time he eats mutton kebabs. The more swollen his face is, the more authentic his mutton is.

2. Everyone is "I don't know what to do, but I'm different. I am "I don't know where the money has gone, and I am as poor as a church mouse".

I forgot to bring money for dinner just now. I told my boss to come and get married together next time. The boss disagreed. In a rage, I called a dozen brothers over, took four cars, killed them and blocked the entrance of the hotel. Then everyone emptied their pockets and barely scraped together enough money for dinner. ...

In order to be a rich second generation, I lie in bed every day and wait for my father to make a fortune.

Five. I am a woman, and I came to this world only to survive the one thing in this life: poverty.

6. A shy boy asked a girl: What kind of boy do you like? The girl said: It's very congenial. The boy asked with a sad face: can't the head be flat?

7. I dreamed of Yue Lao last night and asked him, "Why don't you give it to my boyfriend?" Yue Lao looked at me and said, "The red rope is short and the legs are thick. I can't tie it."

Dad: "If someone bullies you, hit him with a shovel." Daughter: "But I am a girl." Dad: "You can use a pink shovel."

9. I can make money if you like. You like vest line and I can exercise, but you said you like ugly ones. What do you want me to do？ Do you understand powerlessness?

I went to have an abortion with my girlfriend today. She said weakly to me, honey, as long as it's not your child, I don't want it. Moved by her again!

Dad: Do you know how much I love you? Son: How much is it? Dad: You made a mistake when you were a child. I specially asked for half a day off to go home and hit you.

12. How to explain your obesity gracefully? There are many things to remember, and it is not good to lose weight.

13. Friend, listen to my advice. You can still make money if you lose it. Don't pay back the money I lent you!

14. Husband: "Wife, my eyesight has gone wrong since I got married!" "Wife:" What symptoms? "Husband:" I can't see the money! "

When I was a child, my dream was to walk around with a lot of money every day. Now I am a bus conductor.

16. Holding the courier feels like reunion with your long-lost flesh and blood, but often after unpacking, you find that the child looks like Lao Wang next door.

17. It is said that men have gold under their knees. I'm grinding my skin, and I can't even find a piece of iron!

18. Slag students share their experiences with me as soon as they meet at the beginning of school. They said: not doing summer homework is just a beating, but they are very happy throughout the holiday and it is worth it!

19. I told my mother about my grades. My mother was so angry that she reached out and tried to hit me. When my brain gets hot, she gives me a high five!

20. The furthest distance in the world is that I look at you frequently on the bus, and you look at me frequently. I fell in love with you at first sight, but you are clutching your wallet.

Twenty one. I have passed a person countless times, and my clothes are scraped without sparks.

22. Why do some people ask for dozens of things when looking for someone? My mate selection criteria are three words: please.

23. As the saying goes, everything is difficult at the beginning. As long as you get through the beginning, you will find it difficult in the middle and even more difficult in the end.

24. Go to a new company for an interview. Interviewer: Are you organized? Me: absolutely no problem! I once organized a general strike in my last company!

Don't frown, you're not the only boy who can't get me.

26. At the current rate of rising house prices, I don't want to afford a set of affordable housing. I just hope I can afford an affordable grave when I get old!

27. My lover is a rich woman. One day, she will pick me up in a Rolls-Royce Phantom. I guessed the beginning, but I didn't guess it was her eightieth birthday.