Talking about mom scared the children.

When it comes to children's homework, what's your first feeling? If a sensitive word is used to describe it, most parents may feel "helpless", "anxious" or "worried".

So when it comes to homework, how do children feel? It's a little different from their mother's feeling Their feelings can be described in three words, that is, "have to".

Why does homework bring negative emotions to parents and children? The culprit is the first sentence parents say to their children before they do their homework.

"Son, it's time to do your homework!"

"Son, it's eight o'clock! When do you do your homework? "

For children, this sentence is the "standard language" for parents to remind themselves to do their homework. But because of this sentence, it is doomed that parents will not worry and relax about their children's study, because the subtext behind this sentence is: "Son, it's time for you to do your homework."

The child did his homework and his mother was satisfied, but he didn't do his homework and his mother was not satisfied. Therefore, rather than saying that the child is not active, it is better to say that the mother does not realize that her unconscious words have destroyed the child's mobility.

So, can homework be a source of happiness between parents and children? Can you make it easier for mothers and children to learn more and take the initiative? The answer is yes.

Tell me my story.

There is a rule in Shanghai's education system that kindergartens are not allowed to teach primary school knowledge in advance. As a conservative, of course, I honestly abide by state regulations and dare not cross the line.

Therefore, Bao Xiao has been playing since kindergarten. By the first grade of primary school, his cultural knowledge only stopped at knowing 40 Chinese characters and addition within 10. What I am most proud of is that I can recite five or six Tang poems.

When I was a child, my teacher came to my home and saw my child's level. She reminded me, "At this level, in primary school, my mother will have to work hard."

Unexpectedly, I was cheated by the education system and teachers. What's the trouble? It takes two hours to write the number 1-4, but I haven't learned the strokes of the word "worm" for three days.

Pinyin is even more confusing. "Baba" is simply spelled, and it is hard to spell "Bafa". English can't keep pace at all. The teacher has already talked about the third lesson, but he still can't understand lesson 1.

Facing each other is staring at each other. You don't know me, and I don't know you.

Every day's homework takes more than four hours, a little longer. The key is that as long as I am in a mood and anxious, my children don't want to do it. It pains me to see the child crying and doing his homework. Isn't this the "tired of learning" students I will train in the future?

This situation made me so miserable that I decided to change it. Fortunately, I am a mother who has systematically studied the concept of discipline in love for 5 years, and I reopened the audio of teacher Yu Fan's course. Teacher Yu Fan's wisdom is like a bright lamp, which illuminates my whole heart: "Safety is the premise of action", "Return the responsibility to the children" and "value people over things" ......

I began to think that I was so angry because I paid attention to the outcome of the matter, and I began to adjust my direction. How can children feel a sense of accomplishment and pleasure in their homework?

Finally, I set the beginning of the change at the first sentence when reminding children to do their homework: "Son, mom wants to appreciate your voice of reading English again today! Play for another 5 minutes or 10 minutes? "

I changed my request to appreciation.

"5 minutes!" Often at this time, children are very happy and keep their promises.

Next, my happy journey with my baby began-

In order to facilitate understanding, let me list with you the happiness and sense of accomplishment I gained in the process of accompanying my baby to do homework:

I used to think that children were too young to arrange their own affairs, so I arranged the order of homework. I think it is very important for children to do it first, but because of this, there are often some conflicts with children.

The child wants to do Chinese first, and I want him to do math first, because the math teacher is waiting.

Now, I have learned to give the initiative to my children and let them arrange what to do first and then what to do. Every time you finish an assignment, if you concentrate on it carefully, you can get a small colored note and put it in the dream jar. Accumulated to 40, you can exchange 1 yuan as the starting capital for him to buy toys.

Children made me fall in love with English.

My child's English has fallen behind. Fortunately, the English teacher is more patient than me, often encouraging him, and taking time out of school to make up lessons for him in the morning. Slowly, my anxiety dropped a lot, and I began to appreciate the way my children read English, and I used Nami's box to compete with him for pronunciation scores.

So every time the child scores higher than me, he is very happy. If the score is lower than mine, the children will read it over and over again, and they will never give up until they reach their goals.

I will also be there, amazed as enjoying the beautiful scenery: "Wow, honey, your English reading is too standard. Mom, it is a pleasure to listen to you read English! "

The child flew with joy, and I held him in circles.

Later, I found a shortcut to English learning. I learned pronunciation and spelling first. I began to like English, learn a little every day, and began to tell my baby English picture books at night.

I am completely English-blind, and I am interested in English for the first time in my life. I have to admit that my children made me.

This is really forced by children.

I used to like telling him what to do when he was doing his homework: "This is not right!" " ""Can you read like this there? "

The child can't stand it. They couldn't stand it, so they threw away their pens: "Stop writing!" " "

It was really shooting yourself in the foot, coaxing and apologizing. If it really doesn't work, I will yell at the lion: "I don't want to talk nonsense with you, just write it quickly, that's all."

Alas, who let me be your mother? Nothing else. I still have a desire to control.

But this is not the solution to the problem, and I know it. What can I do by myself while the children are doing their homework?

It finally occurred to me that I like painting, so I picked up a brush and started my masterpiece!

After a while, I was really proud to look at my paintings: sketches and stick figures have accumulated less than half of them.

Seeing me painting happily here, the children are also greedy and the speed of doing homework is also accelerated. Take advantage of the rest time to enjoy the joy of creation;

I started painting because I didn't want to hurt my children. I didn't expect this escape motive, but it inadvertently inspired children's enthusiasm for painting!

During the intermission, children like to watch Tik Tok for a few minutes. In the vibrato video, the beautiful singing attracted me very much: "Baby, what song is this, so nice?"

This is "listen to me, thank you". Children are happy to tell the truth.

So, I turned on the karaoke software, sang while learning, and then shared it with my friends and parents' study groups. Everyone gave me positive feedback, and my happy cells filled my body.

I have learned many good songs recently, such as Your Answer, The Girl by the Bridge, Fly Higher, etc. Haha, am I starting to get rid of conservatism and move closer to fashion?

5. My children began to let me learn mind mapping.

I think the content is simple, but the child just can't remember it. what can I do?

Love can remind you of a good solution to all problems.

Chinese Pinyin, a Japanese word, is as dense as a small ant. It needs to be memorized and used, which is good for you!

Think of mind maps, look for rules, and memorize them with images and pictures.

The above string of pinyin, the word Iswu Yuye, reminds me of such a story: spiders eat shit, the sun naturally dies, and a group of crows happily "yeah"!

I was really forced out. I was shocked by my inspiration and creativity. The children laughed their heads off when they saw it. Where is the boring homework?

The child said it twice and then remembered it. As for skilled use, it will be broken down next time.

In fact, I didn't come up with so many good ways to accompany my children to do their homework at once, but I have a systematic and perfect family education ideology as the backing, that is, the theoretical system of discipline in love.

It is definitely not feasible to change children's problems by methods alone, unless parents are willing to improve their educational concepts.

So, in my harvest, what valuable ideas have brought me changes? I use the following five aspects to list for you, which I learned in the theoretical system of "Discipline in Love":

1. Focus on people, not things.

Children often ask me, "Mom, is it my problem or my homework?" This sentence will bring me deep reflection. When I value the result of things, I get angry because my children can't satisfy me with the result.

But when I noticed the child, I realized that the child also wanted to learn something he didn't know. He just broke the law temporarily or needed encouragement. At this time, I won't get emotional, but I will calm down and find a way.

2. Give feedback immediately, not after a few years.

"Son, study hard now, and you will have a good life in the future!" Don't cheat the children with that again.

For children, it feels so painful to study now. What else will make me look forward to the future?

Why do children like playing games? Because the designer of the game knows human nature very well. If you win, it will reward you with new skin and new equipment and encourage you to enter higher challenges; If you lose, it will encourage you to make persistent efforts and continue to challenge.

In short, it will never tell you an illusion: "You can't!"

Therefore, in order to make children interested in learning, at least not resist learning, parents should also learn to give their children positive feedback in time: "Wow, this word is much better than the last one!" ""I learned to read today, and I am more serious than yesterday! "

Timely and positive feedback is the reason why children continue to work hard.

"Son, you have to do this."

"Son, you have to do this!"

"Son, you shouldn't do this, you should do that!"

These words are often spoken by parents.

What will the child say at this time: "If you want me to do it and you are still not satisfied with me, then do it yourself."

When we ask our children to do their homework, we have actually crossed the line.

Allowing children to make choices about their own affairs, even if the final result is not satisfactory, is also an opportunity for children to learn to adjust and try. But if the mother is always in charge of the children's affairs, it seems that the final result is beautiful, but the children will never learn to be responsible for their own affairs.

Most of our parents only see problems and can't see emotions.

For example, there is sediment in the middle of the water pipe, and water flows in from one end, but it cannot flow out from the other. What will you do at this time? Do you dredge the blocked part first, and then the water will naturally flow out?

So is solving people's problems. I am not happy now, and I am in a bad mood. You asked me to do this and that. Obviously, you are selfish and can't see my mood. All you care about is the result!

Every time I finish my homework, I often ask my child a question: "Baby, mom will accompany you to do your homework today. What do you think is better for my mother and what needs improvement? "

Every time, the child will tell me sincerely: "Mom shouldn't lose her temper" or "Mom should let me decide my own affairs" ......

I will ask for children's opinions, record their opinions, and pay attention to my words and deeds when I write my homework next time.

Conclusion:

There is also a perspective that "parents accompany their children to do their homework", that is, "children grow up with their parents".

If we think that it is our unilateral effort to accompany our children to do their homework, then we are likely to have emotions, because you think that after all you have paid, the children are still not satisfied with you.

But in fact, from the child's point of view, isn't he just eager for his parents to make progress?

Teacher Shi, the host of Run, once said: "When you feel uncomfortable, it is the beginning of growth."

Parents who really love their children are willing to change and improve themselves for their children's growth.

Today's sharing is over, friends. When reminding children to do their homework, what is your first sentence?

My name is Meng Meng, a family education teacher and a mother of three children. Puberty education troubles, you can trust me privately and provide free consulting services.