Some regrets are worse than loss.

I met her after exercising tonight. She is the most annoying woman in my life, and sometimes I even have the impulse to chop her to death. But seeing her, I lost my temper again. Sometimes people are really mean. I am such a stingy person. After reading the article, with a cigarette in my mouth, I decided to write my story. Listening to the passionate tune of "Big Head Leather Shoes", I slowly pulled my thoughts back to the past. . .

15165438+1October 3rd, which is a very important day. She came to Xiamen by the 10 bullet train. It was the first time we met, so I was particularly nervous. Although my work place is only 20 minutes away from the railway station, I can't wait to get off work early and wait for her at the exit one hour in advance. Looking at the information board at the station, I paced back and forth and felt anxious. Every time the train arrives at the station, I try my best to look in the direction of the exit for fear of missing her. I think this action needs to be repeated more than a dozen times.

Finally, her train arrived with her heart in her throat. I've been imagining what kind of person she is. Is she tall? Fat for nothing? What color clothes do you wear? Is it a hat or sunglasses? How to say hello after meeting? Now that I think about it, I still smile inside. It was really pure at that time. I waited while thinking, but almost all the people out of the station left and she was not seen. I finally met her in the anxious waiting. She is wearing a white shirt, a gray sweater, plain pants and small white shoes. She looks beautiful.

Speaking of this trip to Xiamen, there is another episode. At that time, she made a joke in the group, let's make a bottom line. If it is right, she will come to Xiamen for a few days. Haha, I want to see her so much that I finally got it right after racking my brains. The first part is like this. Michele Monique Reis wants to get a promotion and raise in Jiaxing. The second part, * * * stays in front of the town to earn money. In this matter, I think she is a very interesting person, lively, cheerful and optimistic.

During our three days in Xiamen, we went to the beach and went fishing in my usual place. The happy time passed quickly, and the date of return trip arrived in a blink of an eye. When I watched her get on the train, her eyes were still wet, and I really wanted to keep her around. That is, this month's 10, we confirmed the relationship between men and women, and finally caught up with the Double Eleven, no longer single. I really appreciate her.

That's how our long-distance relationship began. Her job is very special. Because she is doing ground work at the airport, holidays are their busiest time, and there is no time to meet at all. I can only arrange meetings according to her schedule. Sometimes it takes only once a month to see her. Every time I go to her city, I can't hide my excitement at the thought of seeing her. It's like a child getting his favorite toy and telling everyone. I really want to meet someone who just started dating. It's really nice to miss her. Sometimes she hurts me, and sometimes she can ease my pain. In fact, I dare not love her too much, for fear of loving her too hard and hurting her. Every time I go to her city, it is basically rainy. I don't like rainy days very much, but after meeting her, I like rainy days. This is a testimony to our relationship.

We spent some time together and found that she was a lively and optimistic person on the surface, but she was extremely insecure inside. This has something to do with her childhood family. She is also a bad child. I really love her and always want to take good care of her, but now there is no chance, only a pity. She suffered a lot from eating snacks, and she also ate a lot of dirty eyes more or less. Although she looks strong on the outside, she is extremely fragile on the inside. She is a person who cares about others' opinions. If she finds out what others have said about herself, she will be unhappy all afternoon. Sometimes I really want to help her and enlighten her, but this inner knot can only be opened by myself. She always wants to leave that sad heart.

All along, she wanted to leave the airport and the place where she worked for seven or eight years. This job is really tiring. I also suggested that she leave, come to Xiamen to live with me, and then come to Xiamen to find a job. Maybe our relationship hasn't really started, so we haven't made a decision yet. During this time, our relationship has become more and more fragile. The good times didn't last long, and our contradictions gradually came out. Every time I visit her in Fuzhou, I can feel from her expression and attitude that I haven't entered her heart yet. All along, I have been escaping from reality by myself, telling myself that she should like me as long as she is good to her. In fact, I know that she likes me hard, but she really has no feelings for me, so she made this decision and broke up with me. Actually, I don't blame her It's a good thing she didn't say I was a good person. The word "good man" is actually hurtful. The so-called "good guy" came into being at first because a large number of rejected boys gave me the title of "good guy" in unison. I'm just unfortunate enough to be one of them. I don't ask her to break up with her. Since she will say it, she should have made a decision after inner struggle. Besides, I don't like to insist on keeping my feelings. Since there is a gap, there will be problems in this relationship. I am still very grateful to her for accompanying me through this period of time and making me want to work hard for it. She was the first person who made me want to take good care of it. Although all this is my wishful thinking, it did bring me motivation and let me taste the taste of happiness. There is a person in my heart who is really happy. Close your eyes every night, and there will always be her figure. Every time I think of her, I laugh when I sleep. Wake up every day, as long as I think of her, I feel sleepy in an instant, and slowly it is a desire to struggle. But I didn't expect this ending to come so quickly. I do not blame her. She also works hard for herself. I can see that. She deleted all my contact information, thinking that it would leave a bad impression in my heart, so that I wouldn't be too sad. (In fact, she is quite simple at this time. )

During the breakup, I couldn't sleep over and over every day, and my mind was full of her! I feel that everything is a dream, a deep nightmare, and I can't extricate myself! It's like I lost something very important and I can't get it back, which makes me feel very scared. She always talks a lot, as if she knows me well. It is not so easy to forget and leave when a person is wholeheartedly involved in a relationship and has someone in his heart. Love is really extravagant for me now, I dare not think about it! Maybe I won't love again. There is a person in my heart who can't tolerate others. She always said that I listened to my parents, but in fact she was wrong. In front of my parents, I am sometimes stubborn, and I also realize my own reasons. I can't listen to them. Maybe I'll listen carefully in the future. They are old now, and I don't want them to worry, as long as they are satisfied, I don't care! I dare not take it too seriously in front of feelings. I pretend to be strong and cold in front of them, but who knows? How bitter and uncomfortable my inner taste is! Countless knives have crossed my heart. It hurts. I really want to hide in the corner and cry, but I can't cry, I can't cry! Every night, I wake up from time to time and can't help but pick up my mobile phone and look at the screen in a daze. I don't know what I'm waiting for. My eyes blurred, I fell asleep, woke up and fell asleep again ... She said she was scum, so don't be so mean. I didn't blame her. Even if she is scum, she is the scum I loved. I love her. How can she be scum! Well, I really want to keep her, but I don't know how to keep her. I haven't given her any information these two days. In fact, I am very entangled in my heart, and I am afraid that I really lost her like this! Leave me forever. Before, I thought I could walk away gracefully. I was confident that it was just a woman. What's the matter? But when you really fall in love with someone, how can all this be so chic! In my heart, she is already my woman! All habits become natural. When I saw the meal, I couldn't help wondering whether she ate it or not. Seeing the temperature drop, I can't help reminding her that she has a cold! But when I finished this, I suffered again. Did she really leave me? I keep telling myself, no, she's still here. She just goes out for a while and will come back when she is tired.

From the moment I saw her, I secretly told myself that I would take good care of her, and I would never give her to other men because I was afraid that they would not take good care of her! She has many shortcomings, but I don't care! I don't need her to change anything for me! I just want her to be with me! She is the first woman I have ever met who really wants to take care of her. She gave me a clear goal and direction! I am also moving towards these goals step by step, and I am also realizing them step by step, but all this becomes blurred in an instant, and I am slow! Just like the lighthouse of the sea suddenly darkens, I am like a lost ship, drifting with the tide! It's dark around, so dark that I'm flustered!

Once I passed a shop and just heard a song, my heart ached instantly. I sat directly in the street, with tears in my eyes, crying and thinking for a long time. Looking at the pedestrians coming and going, let me realize that I am also a passerby around her now! We are like passengers on a bus, with the same starting point and the same terminal, but she got off halfway. The person who accompanied her to the terminal is not destined to be me. The person who accompanied me may wait for me at the next stop. During this time, I have to thank her, accompany me through a relationship, let me regain the taste of love and let me believe in love! I once told her that if she broke up with me, I would never bother her again. I think it's time to honor my promise! In this relationship, I tried my best to do what I should do, but I couldn't keep her in the end. I'm sorry! At this time of breaking up, I still want to give her a suggestion: during this time with you, I found that you are an insecure person, which is not good. I hope you can adjust yourself and be a confident woman. In fact, life is not as terrible as you think. Don't think of the worst result for everything, or you will lose a lot of precious things. I know you are a disease. I've been looking for a prescription all this time, but I haven't found a good prescription for you in the end! Heart disease still depends on your heart medicine. I hope you can meet someone who can give you a good prescription. I'm really not for you! I hope you don't feel so inferior in your next relationship and be a confident woman. Before I met you, I knew a girl who grew up in a single-parent family and lacked maternal love, but what I saw in her was an extremely confident and optimistic person who could adjust herself well and was very mature, a few years younger than you! I hope you can make yourself confident and believe that you are not alone, and there are your relatives behind you. I think this is the last time to tell you! My home phone has been ringing off the hook these days. They are all afraid of my sadness. I always smile at them. I figured it out, too Breaking up is not terrible. We are not suitable. Even when we are together, there are barriers. I want to leave you. Instead of finding someone you like, it's better to find someone with a similar life concept, which may go further. Loving someone is really tiring, and I can't afford it.

I remember she once said these words to me: I always thought I shouldn't be sad when I broke up, but later I learned that I really burst into tears that day. To be exact, I saw your last message in tears, not because I was rude, on the contrary, I didn't see your rudeness. When you say that I am an insecure and inferior person, I am all bad. Yes, that's who I am. I always feel that only I can solve this problem, but I have never found a way, so I pretend to be strong and hide myself. I always hope that when I meet something I don't need to say or say, he can find it by himself, see through me and understand me. Seeing the information you sent, I felt that you were such a person, so I burst into tears. Maybe I was deeply moved by you. After reading the information, I collapsed. I cried myself to sleep at work and wanted to start from scratch. So I couldn't help crying when I was doing my hair, and I cried when I walked in the street, and I wanted to come to you. However, I don't think so after I figured it out. If I can't have a good life with you in the future, I can't be impulsive. If I'm still so headstrong in the future, let's talk about breaking up. It's not difficult for me not to cry now. What should I do or what? Yesterday's words were really for you, just to tell you that we should all calm down and let nature take its course. You should also eat well, sleep well, work hard, and live on.

Our first relationship was full of twists and turns, from darkness to dawn, and we were together again. After suffering for a month, I finally met her! In addition to extreme excitement, there is also a sense of tension. I'm afraid I'll be embarrassed to see her and not know what to say. I waited for more than half an hour in the cafe near where she got off, thought a lot, and fantasized about walking down the street hand in hand with her. The feeling of being with her today makes me feel that she has changed, and her attitude towards me is not as bitter and smiling as when we met before. Seeing her like this, I feel much better. If she can do this, I think the development between us will be very fast! But careful observation of her face shows that she is much thinner than before, and her face is already very small. It looks smaller now. It hurts! Just waiting for her at the door of the drugstore, I turned around inadvertently and found that her face was really pale, which scared me! Suddenly I was really worried about her. If I don't have a good rest in this state, my body will definitely be overwhelmed. I have to buy more blood-nourishing food, fool, don't be reluctant! She bought me cassia seed. I'm happy because she remembers. I have forgotten. I am very touched. I really appreciate her bringing me back to her. As I told her at the dinner table, I never dreamed that I could sit with you for dinner, chat and watch movies today! I'm really excited. My eyes were a little blurred at that time. Hee hee, I really appreciate her, making me feel that I am not alone and letting me know that she has not abandoned me. She said I should cherish this meal, which may be the last. I knew she was joking, but when I heard it, my heart began to fluctuate and my tone changed. Fortunately, she said it was a joke later, so I was relieved. I won't say such things in the future. It's nice to walk back with you after dinner, but the road is too short. As I said, I am really reluctant to go to my destination. What I told her was my only condition. I hope she can take this relationship seriously, treat me seriously and love me. I have no other requirements.

This time, she made up her mind to resign, and she would tell me what she was thinking. Time flies, more than two months have passed. 1 16 in October, I finally waited for her to come to Xiamen. During the time when she decided to come to Xiamen, I had an expectation every day, that kind of happy expectation. I found a new suite, every corner was carefully wiped and the surrounding walls were carefully painted, just to make her comfortable. Looking at the brand-new room, I don't know how flattered I am to think that I will live here with her in the future. As long as there is happiness in my heart, I will wake up laughing when I sleep.

Today, I finally met her, the same exit, the same time, this scene is deja vu, this mood is so similar. But our feelings at this time are different. We have more feelings, more expectations and more responsibilities on my shoulders. I am really touched that she can come to Xiamen for me. I swear I will treat her well and take care of her with all my strength. I can't make her sad. I am her arm.

In the next few days, I felt very strange and even questioned whether her feelings for me were true or not. We have been living together for two months, but outside, she is still deliberately keeping her distance from me. Sometimes I want to hold hands, and she also makes excuses to refuse. Where are such lovers? I anesthetized myself, thinking of giving her some time to buffer and prepare herself mentally.

As the days go by, our feelings seem to have regressed rather than improved, and there is no intimate action between us. I'm really starting to doubt it. I talked to a good friend about our situation. He told me directly that you should relax. She has no feelings for you. Be careful to use you as a springboard, and you won't even know yourself then. Provide food and accommodation, and some people pay for training. Who won't come? I don't believe she is such a person. I knocked him unconscious in a rage. Finally, I couldn't help telling her that if we were still in this state, we should break up, because living together like this would make everyone very tired. That morning, in my sleep, I felt someone in my room. I opened my eyes and found her beside me. I thought for a moment. I guess she thought about what I said last night. She came to my room and had an ideological struggle. We hugged each other and slept that night. I still remember how fast my heart beat when I hugged her for the first time! When she listened to the heartbeat in my chest, I was so nervous that I almost suffocated, but I instantly felt that I was the happiest person in the world! She always says I'm unreliable, but what I say to her means what I say! I don't know how to express my love for her. I won't coax her with sweet words. Sometimes I just say a word or two to her and end our conversation! She sometimes questions us, but does she know? Really love her, don't need so many words, I just want to love her and care about her! I didn't ask her for anything. I just want her to be herself. I don't need to change anything for me. Let me change for her, I will adapt to her! Looking at the tooth marks on my arm, I don't feel pain. I want her by my side. I don't live alone. I must work harder for our future. When I think of her, I feel so happy, so happy, having her is enough! I don't know how brave I have to be to say that I won't forget her. I just want to tell her that she is already in my heart and has occupied my heart. This is my answer to tell her how much I love her! After a period of getting along, our feelings seem to have changed a little and developed in a good direction. This is what I am very happy to see and I have been working hard.

Every morning when I wake up, I will look at her around me, afraid to make any noise, for fear of waking her up. I have been praying in my heart, if only time would stop here. I wish I could be by her side forever. Now, everything has changed. Every time I wake up, the other person is empty. I hope this is just a dream. I remember once, I had such a dream, in which she left with someone else and I cried my eyes out. That kind of heartache is so real and suffocating. I suddenly opened my eyes, and I didn't have time to dry my tears. When I turned to look for her, I found that I was just dreaming, just like a mountain pressing on me and finally fell to the ground. I was relieved. Holding her tightly, she saw my tears and asked me what was wrong. I didn't say a word, just held her tightly.

I didn't go into the kitchen much before I met her. After being together, I will use my spare time to secretly learn to cook. Although it tastes bad, I study really hard. Every time I cook for her, my expectant eyes know how much I want her praise. May be intentional, she really never praised me, and sometimes said that I don't expect much from your cooking. My inner taste can be described by a mixed Chen Lai. To be honest, it's a little uncomfortable. After that, I continued to cook for her as if nothing had happened. In my heart, I am satisfied that she can have a hot meal when she comes home. Whatever she says, I don't care. In my opinion, happiness is as simple as that.

During this time together, what I will never forget is the time when she was ill. She has had a fever and cough for several days, and she hasn't recovered yet. I see it in my eyes and I am anxious in my heart. Worried that her body temperature would rise in the middle of the night, I basically slept for 4 hours during that time. Take her temperature several times a night. Sometimes I have a high temperature, so I sit in bed all night and wipe her hands and face, constantly changing warm water. Tired, I will lie on the bed and take a nap. I will wake up in ten minutes to change water for her forehead. When I am sleepy and can't support myself, I squeeze my thighs hard to cheer myself up. That's who I am. When someone is kind to me, I will show her my heart. If it is not good for me, I will be more cruel than her. Looking at her weak appearance, I felt very uncomfortable and kept praying for a quick recovery.

Time passed like this. She completed the training and found a new job with a good and stable salary. But her heart seems to have begun to change! Although we met my parents, when I thought she was going to be my other half, I began to find that she was getting more and more wrong! Began to be more and more unhappy with me, demanding more and more from me. I don't know whether I want to leave me on purpose or really. Let me touch her less and less! She has changed. Obviously, she has changed. During the time with me, I still found out that she was having an affair with another man. Maybe she is stupid or naive, thinking that she will know what to do and what not to touch. I told her very strongly that I don't want to be cuckolded in my life. (But I still wear it. It happened during the time when we lived apart. I found that she deliberately alienated me and moved out on her own, saying that it was to calm down and think for herself. I also naively agreed, and this evil result was planted. After a month of separation, she broke up with me decisively. I don't know why she is so tough. Until one night, I met her and she came back with a man. My brain is pounding and I'm completely confused. Is it because I was wrong? I have been with her for two years! We usually don't let me hold hands outside, and we always find various reasons to push me off. When I saw her holding hands with other boys, talking and laughing, I now understand why she did this to me! Our two-year relationship is really not as good as their two-month relationship! I am really a fool, which reminds me of what my friends always tell me. She just used you as a springboard. She wanted to change jobs and leave, but she didn't have the courage. You just showed up and gave her an excuse. You idiot can provide food and drink, and you can also provide her with training. Why not come? I'm such a fool.

I used to look forward to love, as if I met the person I like and I was very happy with the person I love! But she shattered my idea, and it was completely destroyed! When I saw her and her new boyfriend go back to their apartment, my heart really ached! At a loss, I feel suffocated and want to die! I really lost her, she really left me! I kept repeating something in my mouth. Maybe it should be a blessing for her, but a curse for me! What's it like to give up a beloved person? It's like a house that burned down for a long time. You look at the wreckage, dust and despair. You know this is your home, but you can't go back. ...

I really don't know how she did it that night, walking past me and holding the man's hand, talking and laughing. Damn, I ran into her again tonight. When I spoke to her, I almost choked up. I tried not to cry.