Talk to the silent lonely.

I have read such a sentence: "It is more important than hard work to improve your thinking level."

If you don't have a deep understanding of yourself and society, then your efforts are of little value.

It is better to stay put and wait and see.

People who are keen on socializing and making friends desperately are not only for friendship, but often for certain interests or fear of loneliness.

When people reach a certain age, they can't shut out all social activities, but can "walk alone" in the crowd and remain silent in a lively environment, just like a "hermit" in the city.

On the surface, people who like to be alone and insist on silence are unconventional and useless. In fact, they are confident enough to learn to look at the world coldly, and most of them have the following mentality.

02

First, the mentality of being too lazy to talk varies from person to person, and there is no need to flatter each other.

During the Ming Dynasty, writer Xu Wei went out alone and spent the night in Jingzhong Temple. The Zen master asked him to write a poem. He refused and wrote: "Half-life has become an old man, and self-study is whistling in the evening breeze. The pearls at the bottom of the pen have nowhere to sell, but they are thrown into wild vines. "

A person who likes reading and writing, but no one appreciates it, poetry is as precious as pearls, but no one appreciates it and can't sell it, so he can only throw it away casually. This is the sorrow of a scholar.

In ancient times, Yu Boya met Zhong Ziqi. Although they have different identities, one can play the piano and the other can listen to the sound of the piano, and they have become bosom friends with each other, leaving a beautiful talk of "mountains and rivers meet bosom friends".

However, in real life, it is difficult for us to meet intimate friends, even at the same level.

Because of the differences in hobbies, family education, knowledge, life experience and working environment, the gap between people's thoughts and words is obvious.

On the social stage, flattery only injures oneself, flatters others, or lowers one's level. It is hard to be subservient to others' Nuo Nuo.

In fact, what you said, others don't understand; You don't want to understand anything others say. In this case, it is better to be silent and not get together, out of sight, out of mind.

03

Second, adhere to a low-key mentality, have a unique view of life, and appear very quiet in the group.

During the Han Dynasty, Ma Yuan was an official of the imperial court. He heard that his brother's son likes to tell lies and make friends with immoral people. He quickly wrote a book and sent it to his younger brother, hoping to strengthen discipline.

It is immoral to join various circles and get together to discuss right and wrong. As a man, when you hear other people's mistakes, you should laugh them off. We should carefully sort out all kinds of remarks and strengthen self-warning.

Coincidentally, Zeng Guofan formed the Xiang Army in the late Qing Dynasty, and his younger brothers all wanted to participate, but he resolutely opposed it. Later, he reluctantly brought his brother there, but he didn't reuse it. He told his younger brother to study hard and not to believe that there are any shortcuts.

Zeng Guofan heard that his nephews were throwing their weight around in sedan chairs, and immediately wrote home to persuade them to keep a low profile and not to be too heavy with money.

In fact, gregarious is a relative concept. It doesn't mean that people who don't have any friends are not sociable; People with few friends are very gregarious. People who can be themselves in the group, who are gregarious on the surface, are excluded inside; People who can be assimilated by others are blind gregarious.

When people reach a certain age, they often can't help it. Just like Xu Shu in the Three Kingdoms period, he was half confused and half awake.

When a person is low-key, he will appear out of place.

04

Third, the attitude of not caring about the world, it is better to do one more thing, mind your own business, and raise your spirit.

Perhaps, many people envy the secluded life, but not many people can do it. After all, people like a lively, too light life in their bones and find it boring.

Only those who have experienced ups and downs can truly realize that they can hide themselves, live a quiet life and really concentrate on doing their own things.

During the Tang Dynasty, Han Yu became famous and devoted himself to the people, but he was still demoted many times. For example, in order to explain that local officials lied about the grain harvest and the people were overcharged, he wrote about drought and hunger, so he was demoted to Yangshan County, Lianzhou.

More than ten years of life experience made him feel very uneasy. Although I have a salary, I feel very unhappy. I feel like a mouse stealing.

When a person has experienced some uncomfortable things and is indifferent to the world, there will be an idea of "nothing". I really want to let go of everything. I can sit alone in the small building and make tea with warm water every day.

Being unsociable and taciturn, he is fleeing from the crowd to protect himself from right and wrong.

05

Fourth, the mentality of becoming stronger alone, the future road, a person walking, stumbling should also adhere to.

A person walks silently alone, not pretending to be lofty, but trying to find his own way. Life is very confident.

It's better to rely on yourself than anyone else. If you tie your destiny with others, then you must look at others' faces and even give them a buffer.

In martial arts novels, we often see the words "closed cultivation". Some masters, at a certain time, will stay alone in a certain place, concentrate on practicing martial arts, and they will be able to develop their skills to the next level.

Many principles of being a man are not taught by others, but you "experience" from various things.

Life along the way, cold and warm self-knowledge, loneliness as enjoyment, itself is a success.

06

It is true that the real loneliness is not sitting alone in the wilderness, but walking alone in the crowd, but no one knows himself and can't see a sincere smile.

People come and go, weddings and funerals, this is the pursuit of interests. If not, why do we often worry about socializing and get tired of socializing?

Therefore, really smart people are used to being alone and unwilling to talk. It's good to walk alone and see the scenery alone.

Attachment to others is like a vine wrapped around a tree; Talking loudly is as annoying as cicadas in summer.

As long as you are kind to others, you will be comfortable living.

Author: coarse grains in cloth.

The pictures in this article are from the Internet.