Marriage customs in Shanghai

There is basically nothing to pay attention to in the urban area. Generally, it is a modern wedding, and the ceremony is similar to other cities. But in the old city of Shanghai, especially in Pudong, Shanghai (locals). Men get married when they are older, and women get married when they are older. Customs vary from place to place. In Pudong, Shanghai, it can be roughly summarized as a trilogy of marriage, engagement and marriage with big gifts. Among them, the wedding gift is the most complicated: first, get through the foot: the so-called get through the foot is the first time that a pair of lovers start coming and going in two houses. The man is called "son-in-law Mao" and the woman is called "new lady". For the first time, parents will entertain the couple with steaming "sugar water". Engagement: At present, the marriage custom in Pudong still has the habit of getting engaged first and then getting married. The etiquette of engagement is relatively simple. Set up a few tables, call a few close relatives and elders to the scene to eat for everyone, which means a little notice. In fact, engagement is not protected by law, but a formal habit; Third, the wedding March: 1, the man's bride price: set the wedding date to send three gold and four silver, bride price cash, gift, wedding candy,,,; 2. Women's dowry: In the past, women in Pudong area spun and wove since childhood. (Pudong area was formerly known as Chuansha. It is said that there are many bamboo gardens in Chuansha area, and people have to wear cloth in them, so Chuansha is famous. ) In addition to being worn by family members, a large part of these spun fabrics will be used as a dowry for girls in the future and brought to men's homes as a box dowry. Girls like to store their beloved clothes as wedding dresses. Parents prepared dozens of colorful quilts, as well as suitcases, cabinets, mahogany square tables, dressing tables, washing utensils, toilets, children's bowls, and so on; 3. The man goes to the woman's house to get the dowry: the old aunt or uncle leads the team and the groom leads the team. Men and women have a huge team. When the dowry collector goes outside the woman's village, he must stop to rest, and he is not allowed to talk or smoke. It was not until someone in the woman's family looked around the village that the dowry collector could enter the woman's house. According to local customs, people who receive dowry are like robbers and officials in the old days, so people who receive dowry are called "official robbers". And "Japanese white robbers". When they enter the girl's house, my uncle will come forward to receive them. At this time, my uncle began to conduct the ceremony according to the etiquette rules. The bridesmaids who had been waiting here for a long time immediately put all the dowry in the main room. Bedding, interior decoration, household appliances, etc. , are classified one by one, and each dowry is also affixed with a small note. When placing, articles should not be broken, collided or deformed. The quilt is folded, don't mess it up, or it will be considered unlucky. After the establishment of the court, the dowry should not be moved at will, and attention should be paid to it. Be sure to wait for my uncle to send a message saying "let's get some furniture" before sending it, and then give the bucket (foot bucket, toilet) to the representative who takes the dowry. That is, the old uncle who led the team, as soon as the firecrackers rang, the dowry person began to officially lift it. Dowry should go out in the order of going out, especially quilts, which should be arranged according to the rules of quilt color. Reversing the order or being twisted by the mountain (the quilt is folded as high as a hill) is a big taboo when moving dowry, so the people who take dowry are generally experienced middle-aged, and at this time, the people who put the house in the hall are nearby to supervise. Occasionally, they can correct it and start over immediately. The person who takes the dowry will never be angry at this time, but will be cautious again and again. In order to avoid mistakes, the bride's family gives red envelopes to the main staff when the dowry recipients arrive, so as not to find fault with some of them. The requirement of dowry transportation is that the direction of dowry walking on the road must face southeast, which is called "gaining the upper hand" People think that the southeast belongs to the spirit of the sun, commonly known as the "green dragon head", and dowry can't stop and change hands on the road. Those who carry a dowry should put on heavy clothes to show the value of the dowry. If the man's family doesn't take the southeast road, he should also find a way to bypass it from the southeast for a while and then divert it. Even if the two families are close, we should do so, on the one hand, for good luck, on the other hand, for showing off and showing off. When the dowry goes out of the village, those who take it can start to take out wedding eggs, candy, sugar cane and even red envelopes, but they can't make a mess of the dowry. Happy eggs are usually placed in "children's barrels" (red painted toilets), indicating that the bride will have children; Sugarcane is usually placed in the drawer of the wardrobe, and red envelopes are placed in the folded quilt and need to be taken out; 4. Wedding ceremony: The wedding team is led by the groom himself, and the matchmaker is responsible for directing and coordinating. Generally speaking, they arrive at the bride's house before noon. After the banquet, the bride is dressed up, and there are "three invitations and four invitations" to urge the bride, but the bride has to linger and cry. In Pudong area, the previous crying marriage was very interesting. The day before the wedding, when the box was full, the mother cried first, and then the daughter sang along. The content is to thank her parents for their years of parenting. Just before going out, parents cried and lamented their daughter's difficult situation after marriage, and then cried and taught her to be filial in her new home. Then the bride cried and sang along, thanking her parents, brothers and sisters-in-law, relatives and friends, and the matchmaker. The girl cried until her brother and sister-in-law invited her three times before she stopped. Aunt has always been in a very important position in crying marriage. A married woman should say a lot of thanks to her. I hope she can stand up and say a few words for herself, in case she suffers indignities in her husband's family. When the bride goes out, she needs unmarried sisters of the same age to be bridesmaids, and six or seven can accompany her. 5. Being an aunt: The bride is out. The new aunt was invited by the groom's official to go to the man's house to be an aunt, eat cakes and hold a wedding reception. The aunts are the bride's own brothers, cousins and cousins, a total of seven. A real brother is called a "real uncle". The rest are collectively referred to as "new aunts". When my uncle is away, the men's party can't start. When my new uncle has eaten enough sweets and cakes in his new room, please sit in the living room. 6. Swearing: When the banquet is halfway through, we should invite new people and toast and smoke at each table. Parents will lead them to make phone calls one by one. Older people can't receive a "honorific title" in vain, they should all give red envelopes as a gift; 7, make a new house: regardless of seniority, seniority, active atmosphere, humor and wit, as the saying goes: "three days without size, husband and wife can make trouble." If there is trouble, just say a word and don't start work; There is violence, and some people make fun of alcohol. Generally speaking, they talk coquettish, or drag the groom's parents and brothers to play in front of the bride without touching her. How to make trouble depends on everyone's play. There are many programs, such as lighting cigarettes, rolling eggs and touching the nose. Finally, the bride and groom were forced to go to bed, their clothes were taken off one by one, and everyone left contentedly. Pudong people call it "making trouble in the bridal chamber", and the more noisy it is, the more angry it becomes, so the bride can't be angry or angry, otherwise it will be more noisy and she can't sleep for three days; 8. Warm-up Banquet: After the guests who drink the wedding banquet are exhausted, before midnight, the male family should put a long table in the outer room of the new house, put a lot of dining tables, fruits and three animals, light incense sticks, turn red ingots into paper ingots, and worship their ancestors. The most prominent thing is to put a big cock with full feathers and beautiful crown on the table, and then invite the newlyweds to bow down to their ancestors. God bless your son's early birth. 9. "Wrap cloth": On the second day after marriage, a daughter-in-law showed filial piety to the old man. Pudong has the custom of "wrapping cloth". "Packing cloth", as its name implies, is to take some cloth out of your box and give it to others. The owner of this distribution is the bride. The bride will give gifts to her in-laws, which are a pair of new quilts, cloth and headscarves. Those who have grandfathers and grandmothers should also give "gifts", which is the custom of the local younger generation daughter-in-law to honor their elders. Some even give clothes to their brother-in-law and red envelopes to the younger generation as lucky money to achieve family harmony; 10. The bride should return to her parents' home on the second or third day after marriage, which has been a tradition in China for thousands of years. This custom exists in both the Han nationality and some ethnic minorities, and they usually return on the same day. According to the custom in Pudong, the newlyweds' new houses can't be empty for a month, so the woman's family can't stay at home for a month, and it will take a month for her parents to take her daughter and son-in-law back to live together. This custom is called "no vacancies in January" locally. Because weddings in early years were usually held in the Spring Festival, there is a folk song: "The first month's daughter-in-law is not empty, the new house is empty, and grandma is arrogant." Therefore, after the bride returns to her mother's house, the family usually urges her to return to her husband's house early. Save your mother-in-law from complaining more gossip in the future; 1 1. Invite old guests: On the third day, the man's family will invite all relatives of the woman's family to the man's house. It is better to hold a banquet to let the bride's relatives know the bride's new home, and it is better for the bride to come to the "king" to find the way after giving birth to a child in the future. This day. Like a new housewife, the bride will entertain her father, mother, brother, sister-in-law, brother-in-law, sister-in-law, nephew and niece in her husband's home. Nephews and nieces, queens, aunts, uncles and uncles, uncles and aunts,,,,. On this day, the two in-laws can also sit at the same table, talk over dinner, talk about feelings and family members, which is full of mutual respect; With the development of the times, many wedding customs in Pudong are constantly evolving, uncivilized bad habits are gradually being eliminated, and civilized customs are also being continued, inherited and carried forward. Are you satisfied with the above agenda about Shanghai folk wedding?