Joke Collection Website - Talk about mood - Why don't many children consider their parents' feelings now?
Why don't many children consider their parents' feelings now?
First, it is related to parents' education. Children are spoiled at home. Over time, they think it is natural for their parents to treat them like this, and gradually they have selfish thoughts and only think about themselves. Parents also think that as long as children study hard, everything else can be done, giving up the cultivation of good conduct for children. In the end, parents also eat their own fruit. They have worked hard since childhood, but they can't get their children's understanding and love in return.
Second, it is also related to exam-oriented education. Examination-oriented education excessively pursues academic achievements and ignores moral education. Many children have become machines that only know how to learn, and their feelings are becoming more and more indifferent. It should have been "the sound of reading in the wind and rain, family affairs and affairs in the world." The result is only the pursuit of scores, and the inner desolation is more and more terrible. How many people are considerate of their parents? !
Children nowadays don't know how to put themselves in others' shoes. If children can put themselves in their parents' shoes, there will be many more filial children in the world. Therefore, we should pay more attention to children's moral education, let children know how to be grateful and learn to be grateful.
In fact, don't say that children don't consider the feelings of their parents. As adults, how many people will consider their parents' feelings before becoming parents? I'm afraid not much.
This is a false proposition in itself. Without similar life experiences and some things together, no one can feel the same. Those who say they sympathize with or understand others are just lip service. You won't feel pain until the needle pricks you.
So are children. You can't think that they feel the same way as their parents when they should be carefree. The so-called "children of poor families take charge early" is just that life is a little harder than others and they take on more housework in advance. If they really want to feel what it's like to be parents, I'm afraid they can only wait until it's time to be parents. This should also be a sentence-not in its place. The reason is the same. If you are not in that position, you can't feel that feeling. Of course, if you are in that position, you can't do what you can only do.
At present, many of our family education practices encourage children to grow up overnight and know everything. We should let children do what they should do at an appropriate age. I think that's the best education.
This question, we still have to find the answer from parents. Nowadays, many parents spoil their children for fear that no one will take care of them. Children think that these are things that adults should take for granted, forming a bad habit of children taking me as the center.
On the other hand, children have no life experience and parents have no educational requirements in this respect, so parents' feelings are not considered. For example, some young people realize that it is not easy for parents to raise children when they have families and children.
In order to let children understand their parents' feelings and be grateful, parents must educate their children from small things at home. If you give something to your child, ask the child to return something. In the process of giving back, children will know how to be grateful and feel. If the parents are tired, ask the child to pour a glass of water and take a small object. When the weather is hot, shake the fan to beat mosquitoes, and also let the children do some small things that they can. If the child does it, parents should praise the child in time. Over time, children will know how to be grateful and understand their parents' feelings.
Teaching by example is more important than teaching by example. Isn't there a little promo on TV? A young mother brought a basin of foot washing water to wash her mother's feet. Her child saw it and brought a basin of foot washing water to her mother, which was unstable. This is the power of example. So some people say, teach children first, then teach women. This is a living textbook, and children will learn it well.
Usually, parents often tell their children stories about the filial piety of the ancients. For example, in "Twenty-four Filial Pieties", Huang Xiang made his father's bed in summer and warmed his quilt in winter. They can also buy a book called "Disciple Rules" to educate their children with language, code of conduct and examples of thanking their parents.
It is advantageous for parents and children to get along day and night. It is the most critical and effective to cultivate children's filial piety and understand their parents' feelings from an early age. At home, children know how to be grateful to their parents and feel their feelings, so that they can make a difference in society. Only when children are grateful can they extend this love to everyone around them.
As the saying goes, educating children at the age of three is a science. There is a very important sentence in the Book of Changes, which teaches people to practice righteousness and meritorious deeds. It means that when a child is young, give him a good and good education, cultivate moral concepts, treat people correctly, cultivate his or her lofty spirit, and let him or her lay the foundation of virtue. You teach your children well, and this merit is the most sacred.
For parents, educating their children well is conducive to their future growth and study, and will get twice the result with half the effort when educating their children in the future.
Seeing this problem, I think it is very important to start at an early age, and it doesn't matter if I make up later.
Nowadays, many children are spoiled and their clothes are stretched. In the old days, this phenomenon was rare, but most contemporary children take their studies as the standard. More parents think that as long as their children study well, nothing else matters, so they become "arranged shopkeepers". But the facts often backfire. If you don't know how to work, you don't know how hard it is.
Many parents worked outside for a day and worked hard to prepare a meal at home, but they were also rejected by Xiong Haizi.
A heatstroke day tells you the correct way to open it:
Just yesterday morning, I finished washing clothes because of heatstroke, and my stomach suddenly hurt badly. I sat on the bench on the balcony and saw the boss coming. She was looking for something on the balcony, but I stopped her.
First, tell your child about your hardships, difficulties and troubles. You need his help. Let children learn to be grateful in understanding and grow up gradually. "Fish, mother now has a stomachache and can't do clothes. Can you help me? " Many times, it's not that children don't want to do it, but that parents dislike them for not doing well.
At first, she didn't want to, because she didn't find what she wanted, but it seemed really uncomfortable to watch me clutching my stomach, so she called two younger brothers to help.
Second, let children experience life and hardships, and learn to properly insist that children are also family members, so they also need to undertake housework as much as possible. My clothes rail is the kind that can be lifted. The height of the penis around it is not big enough, and the eye of the rod is not big enough. When he propped up his clothes with a hanger, when he hung them on the clothesline, the hanger hook failed to align with the rod eye. After a minute, I finally hung up. Let me know when you hang up a few pieces. I'm too tired to do it.
"Mom just has a stomachache, but I still insist on washing clothes. The clothes here are yours, too Can you insist on drying them? And there are only a few pieces left, and my sister and brother help together. Stick to it and you will be able to complete the task. "
3. Appreciate children moderately and encourage them to care about others. My husband saw my painful appearance and pushed me to lie in bed to prepare lunch. After lying in bed, the boss suddenly poured me a bowl of water to drink. Although the water was cold, I drank it with tears in my eyes. I touched her head happily and said, "Fish is so sweet. She knows how to care and take care of her mother. Thank you, baby. "
Fourth, don't leave the best things to your children; Five don't give children exclusive food. Some people say that a two-year-old child should make him some complementary food, but my third child will eat three meals with us adults except the necessary milk powder every day after a week.
I happened to make two big trotters for lunch. Mr. Dang said, "Mom hasn't eaten yet, so leave some skin for her. Mom likes to eat. "
In addition to the above five points, we also need to do:
6. Don't give your child what he wants easily. If you get it too easily, you don't know how to cherish it. For example, if your child wants to eat candy, you can occasionally set up some small games to let the child try to get it. You can put the sugar in a sealed bag and then hide it in a box (it will be more difficult for older people). Let the children find the box first through the tips of their parents, and then the process of holding the sugar in their hands. It can not only exercise your brain's fine hand movements, but also enhance the parent-child relationship.
Seven, parents lead by example, the best education is more words and deeds, you know how to be grateful, and children will definitely learn what gratitude is from your words and deeds.
A wife should appreciate her husband's efforts to make money outside. If he can help share the housework, don't say, "Husband, you have worked hard" after work will bring endless energy to each other. A husband should be grateful to his wife for the hardships of taking care of the baby and doing housework at home. A hug or a caring word "Are you tired today? You go to rest and I'll cook "will make her feel full of electricity.
When the child helps you to pour water, divide the dishes and chopsticks or wipe the table, feel a sense of life ceremony and say "thank you, thank you for your hard work" to the child.
Why don't children nowadays consider their parents' feelings?
Because parents nowadays don't know how to consider their children's feelings.
We say that the main purpose that children want to achieve through communication is completely consistent with the needs that every adult wants to meet in communication with others, that is, to find a companion who is willing to listen to me and understand my inner feelings, rather than a good teacher who is eager to guide me all day.
In the process of almost every child's growth, there is an inevitable contradiction between children and their parents-children's eyes are often much bigger and more mature than their actual state, and they often believe that they can handle many problems beyond their actual ability.
Children in the eyes of parents are often much smaller and more naive than their actual state. They often think that their children can't face many tasks that they can actually accomplish well. The conflict between big and small is also deeply reflected in the problem of "talking and not talking" between children and parents.
Children are eager for their parents to treat their children as adults, but parents know that there are some words that "children get bored when they talk" and insist on nagging those trite topics all day.
There are many facts that parents don't want to face: all parents have a selfish desire in their hearts and hope that their children will never grow up. Although this may sound a little uncomfortable, if parents are willing to try to understand, it is not difficult to recall who they used to be and how they were nourished and satisfied when they were stared at by their children with worship. It is our self-satisfaction and communication mode that makes children learn not to consider their parents' feelings.
For more parenting problems, please pay attention to "fruit menstruation parenting". Teacher Runzhi will answer them one by one in the live broadcast room every night.
Why don't many children consider their parents' feelings now? The core of this problem is that parents have long given up their feelings in front of their children, blindly forgetting their own spirit and being used to being arrogant to their children. Therefore, in the eyes of children, they only have themselves and have not forgotten my parents. No pains, no gains. This is the result of parents' selfless education
China's traditional culture advocates the unity of heaven and man, so we should also advocate the unity of father and son and the unity of mother and daughter in children's education. Caring for children is not to destroy yourself. Accept kindness and don't forget your roots. Only by combining nature with man, combining the old with the young, and joining hands with the young, can life have strength and the times move forward.
Therefore, those selfless transmission education is not good for children. As a country, we can't blindly indulge those elite students' arrogance, which will make children's personality swell, selfish and heartless, and will break the transmission of human nature, so that the future world will be different for different people and countries.
Mother wouldn't let her daughter play with her mobile phone, so the girl jumped directly from the 14 floor of her home and bid farewell to her parents who gave birth to her and raised her.
Children never consider their parents' feelings and do whatever they want, and it is their parents' own fault.
Nowadays, parents love their children too much, spoil them and give everything to them. Parents thought it was for the good of their children, but they actually hurt them.
If you don't specialize your children, educate them to know their own things from an early age and do it by themselves. Only by practicing can you gain something. I believe children will know how to be grateful.
It's too easy for children to get anything now. Parents can satisfy whatever they want without any "discount". "It doesn't take much effort to get it." Children take this for granted.
From the moment a child is born, it is important not to be child-centered.
The whole family is child-centered. It can be said that this family will not be harmonious and happy. Children will form a natural heart and a willful and selfish personality, so that they will not consider the feelings of others.
Cultivate children's empathy and empathy to understand others. Cultivate P children to participate in family labor since childhood, knowing that all income from life can be obtained through their own labor, so that children will cherish life and be grateful.
Children who have suffered setbacks in childhood will cherish life more when they grow up. Cultivate children from an early age to have an understanding heart.
Parents' words and deeds are very important, so it is necessary to influence children with good behavior words. Parents should pay attention to emotional management at home, and don't lose their temper easily in front of their children, which will affect their character.
When you hold your child as the "emperor", he will form a habit over time. Of course, he will not be grateful and will not consider his parents' feelings.
The children have become like this, all of which are caused by their parents themselves.
I often hear my parents complain to me: "Teacher, please help me teach this unlucky child a lesson!" " ! He only talks back to me. I said east, but he insisted on west. I said west, but he insisted on east. We're against it anyway. Why is he here? He doesn't care about our feelings at all. I'm so angry! "
Children will not consider their parents' feelings, which should be the performance of children entering the rebellious period of youth. In this period, parents must attach importance to the study of children's psychology, don't blindly put their parents' authority in their eyes, consider problems from the perspective of children, spend more time with children, pay attention to the ways and means of education, and respect children's opinions.
So why don't many children consider their parents' feelings now? I think there are several main reasons:
1. Today's children are mostly only children, and they are easy to be self-centered. Affected by the family planning policy, this generation of children are almost all only children, grandparents, grandparents, parents, six people around the baby.
Under such circumstances, some parents who don't pay much attention to education will inevitably spoil their children. Listen to the child's requirements, and you will be satisfied if you can meet them; What cannot be met must also be met to create conditions. The child said to go to the east and never to the west; If a child wants to go west, he will never go east. Thus, "Giant Baby" and "Little Emperor" grew up in this way.
Under the doting of parents, children's demands will always be met, and they are easy to be self-centered, which will inevitably form the habit of not considering the feelings of others.
When the child rolled around and cried, "I want that toy, I want it, I want it!" " "At that time, the parents shook their heads helplessly and sighed," Why didn't the child consider my feelings at all? "At this time, parents can understand that this bitter fruit is your own making!
2. Children are in the rebellious period of youth, parents don't know the ways and means of education guidance, and both sides are "angry". When children enter the rebellious period of youth, they will have a strong sense of self, want freedom and want to get rid of the bondage of their parents. At this time, the child is like a hedgehog full of thorns, and some casual remarks and actions of parents may attract strong opposition from the child.
In the face of children in the rebellious period of youth, parents must pay attention to the ways and means of education, know how to respect children and know how to make friends with them. If parents ignore these things and want to use their parents' authority to suppress their children as before, it is very likely that there will be conflicts with their children, which will lead to their being "angered".
Once a child is "annoyed", it is easy to become extreme, and the rebellious mentality will be more serious. Naturally, parents' feelings will not be considered.
3. Many children will have such a stage: they attach great importance to taking care of others' feelings outside and have high emotional intelligence, but they don't care about their parents' feelings at home. There is such a contradiction: a child, in the eyes of a teacher, is a decent boy; In the eyes of his classmates, he is a good classmate who is willing to share and knows how to take care of others' feelings. In the eyes of neighbors, he is a "child of others' family" with excellent academic performance. But when he came home and faced his parents, this good boy in the eyes of others suddenly became arrogant and unreasonable, and he often did not consider his parents' feelings when he spoke or did things.
In fact, this contradictory phenomenon also exists among adults. In the final analysis, it is still an immature performance. The reason why I dare not consider my parents' feelings is because the child knows clearly in his heart: in this world, only parents will not be angry and give up because they have not considered his feelings!
If so, parents don't have to worry too much. As the child matures, he will know how to take care of his parents' feelings.
Conclusion: Educating children is a systematic project and needs perseverance. Don't wait for problems to appear before you want to make up for them. It is not advisable to treat headache and foot pain. Children don't understand their parents' feelings. Perhaps the reason has been planted as early as the child's childhood, and it is too late to correct it after he forms this virtue. So remind parents: we must pay attention to the education and guidance of children from an early age, and there is no turning back!
Nowadays, many children don't consider their parents' feelings, because the lack of education leads to their selfishness and low emotional intelligence.
Lack of family education Our parents only care about their children's academic performance since childhood and often spoil their children. EQ education is completely lacking.
Lack of school education At present, our school only teaches children knowledge and skills, and EQ education is almost completely lacking.
Children who lack social education are younger, and their main activities are at home and school. They seldom come into contact with society, so naturally they can't experience and improve their emotional intelligence in society.
How will we solve this problem? We can't change school and social education, but we can only start with family education:
1. Cultivate children's awareness of serving others and let them undertake certain housework at home.
2. Cultivate children's awareness of equal communication. When children ask adults for money to buy non-essential goods, they can make a verbal agreement with adults so that children can get money through labor.
3. Cultivate children's frustration ability. Don't reach for the child's clothes, everything is paving the way for him, and often let the child solve problems by himself.
4. Cultivate children's awareness of understanding others, deliberately let children experience the hardships of life, and even let children suffer a little injustice occasionally.
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