How to write a humorous sentence about standing a pigeon?

1, you stood me up and walked five kilometers in a rage.

2. I seem to have been fooled by you again, cheated and stood up!

I put on makeup and found that you stood me up.

I don't want to tell you what it feels like to be stood up on Tanabata in my life.

I am very unhappy that you stood me up, so I have to change the meals for two people to single ones! A person should eat a piece of sky.