After reading this letter from the director, I suddenly realized that it is these things that are important but easy to be ignored at the beginning of school.

Wechat official aCCount: cc parents ID: CC-Bama

It's another year to enter the park. There are children going to kindergarten. Are you all ready?

I will definitely write several "kindergarten series" before school starts every year. Two days ago, I wrote an article about communicating with teachers after school. The following are fans who came to ask about the kindergarten:

Mom c is well prepared. Some time ago, she specially asked a friend who works in the field of preschool education. Two kindergarten teachers and a director are talking about the preparations for entering the park. After half a day's discussion, we all have our own ideas.

The director said: I want to write a letter to the parents of all the new children in the park so that everyone can have a comprehensive preparation.

I said: I want to send an article about your letter.

hahaha~

After that, we agreed on the contents of the letter together. The opening and closing pleasantries are not written in the article. I only extract the key contents for your reference.

Specifically, it should be said from two directions: two want and two don't.

Two elements

First of all, we should be prepared.

There are many aspects to be prepared, including physical and psychological, as well as some social and behavioral training, which is a very important part.

0 1 basic self-care ability

Eating and drinking Lazar is a trivial matter. Many families panic as soon as they leave the garden, feeling that their children know nothing and are not ready for anything.

In fact, it is very simple to cultivate basic skills: don't do everything and don't be too satisfied with your children.

Eat and drink.

Don't chase after the feed, let the children learn to eat with a spoon and drink with a cup, and don't be afraid that the children will spill it. You can study with your children how to avoid spilling rice or water outside.

Go to the toilet independently

Help children to establish good toilet habits in advance, such as going to the toilet at a fixed time, such as going to the toilet before going out. For example, don't wait until you can't hold it, adults should cooperate, and don't rush to carry him to the toilet when you can't hold it (because the teacher won't do this). Let him experience wetting his pants and let him understand the concept of "advance".

Adjust work and rest, sleep independently

Kindergarten has a nap time, so you should arrange it in advance at home. The nap schedule should be as unified as possible with the kindergarten schedule. Generally, kindergartens start from 12: 30 to 1: 00 and sleep for two hours.

If you are a child who doesn't need a nap, try to help him establish the habit of being quiet and alone.

Dress independently.

Taking a nap at noon includes children putting on and taking off shoes and clothes. Children can be trained to put on and take off their clothes in daily life. Be patient with children and encourage them to try more.

02 language expression ability

Help children practice using the right language to express their needs reasonably, instead of using uh-huh, uh-huh or crying.

For example:

We can help children learn and use these languages in advance through scene demonstration, role-playing or using picture books, so as to better adapt to collective life.

03 social skills

Understand the rules of using public toys.

Queue, first come, first served, not always dominant, take turns to play, etc. If the child doesn't understand this, going to kindergarten is definitely a great torture, because he will feel that the whole world is against him.

Dealing with conflicts between peers

In daily life, children should be consciously guided to use polite language. As long as there is no conflict in social interaction, parents should try not to interfere and give their children a chance to solve problems.

In fact, the best way is to play with children of the same age, and these skills will naturally be exercised. If there is no fixed playmate, parents can imitate it.

03 coping with separation anxiety

The main reason for children's separation anxiety is the insecurity caused by unfamiliar environment, so we must make as many targeted arrangements as possible to help children reduce anxiety.

Familiarize children with the kindergarten environment.

Take children to visit kindergartens in advance to reduce their fear of kindergartens.

You can also wait for the children to take them to the kindergarten after school at night, watch or join other children's games, and feel the fun of the kindergarten together.

Advance drill

You can play role-playing games to simulate sending your children to kindergarten and taking them home later. Or let the child know through picture books that he is not always in kindergarten, and his mother will pick him up after school.

As long as parents feel safe enough, it is only a matter of time before separation anxiety is relieved.

Second, accept the child's "special reaction".

0 1 wet pants and bed

Many parents reported that their children had been able to go to the toilet smoothly, but they began to wet their beds and pants as soon as they arrived at kindergarten.

This is actually a normal reaction, and most of it is caused by the tension or inadaptability brought by the new environment.

Faced with this situation, parents should not only blame, but also comfort their children and tell them that this is normal, as many children do when they first arrive at school. When they get used to it and get familiar with it, they can avoid it well.

What parents need to do is to bring more pairs of changed pants to their children.

Afraid of strangers, like being alone.

Similarly, many children will be reluctant to communicate with teachers and strange children, resist communication, or even avoid it, shrink in corners, where no one is there, or run out of the classroom to play alone.

These are all normal phenomena in the early days of entering the park. Parents should not make a fuss after hearing the teacher's feedback, and should not rush to correct it. They should care more about their children and communicate more with them.

Refuse to eat or drink.

Some children "don't eat or drink" at the beginning of the park, or eat and drink very little. For some children, this is a "stress" reaction to strange environment and strangers, which is usually temporary, so don't worry too much.

04 strong resistance, cry.

Some children will cry and make a scene, especially at night, and even have "violent" behaviors such as hitting people, biting people, throwing things and grabbing toys. Although it is not explicitly stated, it is actually a manifestation of the resistance of "I don't want to go to kindergarten".

tell a lie

Some children will lie, such as telling their parents that "the teacher (child) hit me", "no toys" and "no food". In fact, the root cause is also to "escape from kindergarten."

These are some common "special reactions" that we can think of when we enter the park. As parents, we should have certain psychological expectations and accept the children's reactions, instead of denying or accusing the children of separation difficulties.

For example:

This will only aggravate the child's separation anxiety, which is not conducive to his excessive behavior.

Two didn't.

Not to mention that even parents will have a lot of stress reactions after their children enter the park. If the child doesn't cry, cry first. The child just said that he didn't want to go to kindergarten, so he didn't send it. The children said nothing and kept asking:

Son, did someone bully you?

Baby, did you pee your pants?

You know, nervousness will be transmitted to children through their parents' every move, words and deeds, which will affect their emotions.

If you want to relieve your nervousness, you should understand that two-thirds of children have anxiety, but you don't need to fill all kinds of sad pictures with your brain, because most children really don't cry all the time. They will go through four stages:

Although most parents only see the first two States, the third state of detachment is the most common in a baby's day.

Therefore, parents should do both.

First, don't worry too much.

In this discussion, the director and teachers also revealed how kindergarten teachers take care of their children, and parents came to settle down together.

0 1 About eating

In order to stimulate children's appetite, kindergarten meals are basically full of color, smell and taste, and there will be some lovely shapes, which are easy to attract children.

When eating, the teacher will take special care of the new children, such as teaching them to use spoons and helping them drink soup. For those who cannot eat independently, the teacher will also feed them in the early stage.

How much did each child eat at each meal? Ask me anything you want. Teachers know everything. If you eat little, you will inform your parents separately.

About drinking water and urinating about drinking water and urinating.

After a period of time, after the child's daily routine is relatively stable, he will have a fixed time to drink water and go to the toilet, but he can still go at any time if the child asks.

About siesta

Many children will appear, change places, change beds and can't sleep.

The teacher will not force the children who have just entered the park to take a nap, but guide them step by step, such as first agreeing to the child's request to "wait for his mother", sitting by the bed with the child, and persuading him to sleep after the child is sleepy.

If children never want to sleep or lie down, the teacher will allow them to read or play with toys quietly.

About the dispute

It is normal for children to have disputes, including quarrels and even fights.

However, teachers will make use of their professional experience to ensure that every child is within their sight and avoid physical conflicts at the first time of disputes.

After that, it will handle the problem fairly and guide the children to communicate correctly.

In fact, teachers are more professional than parents in this respect. What we can't handle, the teacher can handle it in minutes.

Second, don't look back step by step, fishing for three days and drying the net for two days.

When I first entered kindergarten, nine out of ten children would cry when they left: "Mom, don't go, don't leave me!" " "

At this time, if you look back step by step because you care about your child, or "wander at the door", it will only make your child feel that his "method" is effective.

As long as you "insist" on your mother, you won't have to go to kindergarten, and the same scene will reappear tomorrow, so it is also very important for parents to learn the correct "goodbye posture".

Say goodbye publicly instead of sneaking away;

If the mother often disappears for no reason when the child is unprepared, it will make him even more insecure.

Simply say goodbye:

"Mom will pick you up on time after school. Don't worry. " Do it.

Don't pander to the saying that "mother can't bear to part with the baby", creating sadness, which is not conducive to the child's emotional calm.

Turn your head decisively, and don't turn around repeatedly to appease:

Say goodbye, promise to pick you up on time, and then turn around and close the door!

The child may still cry, but this is only temporary. On the contrary, it is the parents' back and forth and hesitation that children will feel "an opportunity" and try to turn around with stronger resistance.

Not to mention fishing for three days and drying the net for two days. Many parents think that their children are so sad and crying so badly that they should rest at home for a day or two before sending them away. The director and my personal experience must tell you that he will only cry even harder next time.

Most children will get better in a week. The next day to the fourth day is usually the time when children cry the most, and it is also the time when parents' psychological defense lines are most likely to collapse, but as long as they persist, they will soon be better.

Say the important things three times and stick to them! Keep sending! Keep sending!

May every new child in the park adapt smoothly, and may every parent take it easy ~

Children's new mileage has begun, let's welcome it with a brand-new attitude!

CC parents: the founder of "China Parents' Learning Program", C dad-master of China Medical University, doctor of 3A hospital; C Ma —— Editor-in-Chief of Children's Newspaper, and author of Good Parents' Temper to Get a Good Education.