Funny classic sentences

Funny classic sentence 100 sentence 20 15

1, when I often sleep, I suddenly wake up with a shake. So go to Baidu? The reason why the body suddenly shakes when sleeping? Then one answer is: the sudden trembling in sleep is that the nervous system finds that you suddenly fell asleep and haven't been active for a long time. It thinks you are dead, so it moves to see if you are dead.

2. Pigs have pig thoughts, and people have people's thoughts. If a pig has human thoughts, it is not a pig, but a pig.

3. All relationships that don't aim at marriage are obscene hooligans, and all relationships that aim at marriage are upper-class hooligans ~ ~

These days, women are more and more masculine, men are more and more sissy, children are more and more mature, and adults are beginning to pretend to be pure.

5. I stayed in a nervous crowd for a long time and found myself normal.

6. At the kindergarten party, the friend who announced the curtain call said loudly: Please enjoy the chorus "We are all human beings".

7. One kind of anxiety is that the computer is stuck and QQ is still ringing.

8. Just because I looked at you one more time in the crowd, I was blind.

9. I am relieved to know that you are not doing well.

10 before, I spilled a bottle of makeup remover on a woman's face and disfigured it. To disfigure a woman now is to uninstall Meitu Xiu Xiu from her mobile phone while she is not looking.

1 1. One day Altman went to class and the teacher asked questions. Altman raised his hand and the teacher hung up.

12. If you have money, you have no home. If you have no money, worship God.

13, a school teacher collected slogans to protect flowers and plants, and a classmate blurted out: step on my head today and plant it on your grave tomorrow.

14, I am not the wind, and you are not the sand. No matter how lingering, you can't reach the end of the world.

15, I watched you step onto the stage with my own eyes, and I don't know if you want to make a fool of yourself.

16, a person's longest love history is probably narcissism?

17, sleep or daze, body and soul must have one in bed!

18, heartbeat law: If you kiss a woman and her heartbeat reaches 250, it must be first love. If the heart rate reaches 180, it must be cheating. The heartbeat reaches 120, so you must be in love. Heart rate reaches 80, that must be the wife. Heart rate reaches 30. It must be a dinosaur. If the heartbeat reaches 0, it must be a myocardial infarction.

19, now I know why there are so many lovelorn people in summer, because it is too hot for two people to sleep, and what can keep them together is life and death.

20. What is the most refreshing sentence when you are sleepy in class? Let's find a classmate to do this problem on the blackboard.

2 1, when can I become a bird and see who is unhappy? Bird flu? Ah.

22. Who can have as strong feelings for me as for RMB?

23. Why does the heart hurt? Because you have a heart attack.

24. I like you. It's none of your business. You like me if you can.

25. Be a koala in your next life! Sleep for twenty hours, eat for two hours and play for two hours every day. This is the perfect life! !

26. I am really a playboy. Just after the winter vacation, I think about the summer vacation.

27. Are you dissatisfied with the world when you grow up like this?

28. What am I afraid of? Since I came into this world, I have no intention of leaving alive.

29. You think you are a saint, but in fact you are just a psychopath among human beings.

30. Actually, except the Japanese? Day? Myself? It's nothing.

3 1, I thought I was decadent, and only today did I know that my morning paper was scrapped.

32. I didn't fart before going to college. I fart when I come to college!

33. If you see a big tree turning into piles of exercise books, do you still have the heart to do your homework? No business, no killing.

34. The most painful thing in the world is to sleep well and be awakened by urine.

35. Confucius' father was almost 70 years old when he was born, while Confucius' mother was only 17 years old. It seems that at the age of 70, you have to find a girl of 17 to have a Confucius?

36. Throw away what you can't keep as far as possible. You might bump into something and bounce back.

37. Don't engage in porcelain without Jin Gangzuan, and don't wear short skirts without golden hoops.

38. Your appearance has affected my healthy growth. Seeing you, I feel more entangled than going to the grave.

39. Precautions for the host before the game:? Will everyone wait for me to finish? Start? I will answer first in the future. ? Then he further emphasized:? Do you have to wait for me? Start? Come out and grab it! ?

40, tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, how many tomorrows! Since there are so many, we might as well postpone it again.

4 1. I get to school early every day. On the surface, I love studying, but a few people know that we are here to copy our homework.

42. Are you cheap? The mistress is there and can't have children.

43. I have been determined to be a smart person since I was a child, but I have only succeeded in half, and it is still the second half.

44. Everyone likes to eat Master Kong. If you eat Master Kong, Mrs. Kang will have no companion, and you will have to marry the white elephant.

45. Actually, I think the name of the summer homework is "Happy Summer" and the nature of the cigarette case saying "Smoking is harmful to health" is the same.

46. It rains a lot during the Qingming Festival, and students want to break their souls when doing problems. The holiday is too short and the homework is piled up.

47. When I was in college, I often made door-to-door sales calls. Selling facial cleanser one day, I asked a buddy: What do you usually use to wash your face? The buddy replied: water. The salesman asked again: besides water? A: Hands.

48. Talk about egg pain: The quality of the teacher's class determines the flow of mobile phones this month.

49. I remember the first girl I chased when I was a freshman. I sent her a message that night: I like you. What should I do? She replied to me in three words: unrequited love!

50. The second row of letters on the keyboard means: I cried after falling in love with each other, and vice versa: it is love to attack and defend.

5 1, I have been wandering between a lady and a rough girl.

52. The weather is fine today. I stayed indoors for a long time and am going to play in the living room.

53. Since ancient times, no one has died, and those who die early and late have to die.

54. Growing up, the only constant is the heart that doesn't like reading.

55. When I grow up, I want to cut my hair short. Long hair and short knowledge show that I have culture.

56. If you don't want to answer my phone, just say so, and don't always let others move around to help you tell me you're sorry.

Don't forget to say carefully when you hand in your homework: hand in ours separately? We handed in our homework together in those years.

58. Even if you lose weight and look good, everything will be fine. People who don't love you still don't love you. Even if you are fat and ugly, people who love you will not abandon you.

It is said that showing off in an ostentatious manner is a healthy psychological massage.

60. Men. Put on pants and zip up. Just bragging about being a virgin. Isn't it arrogant not to have a virgin membrane?

6 1, I heard that marriage certificates are very cheap now. Let me treat you.

62. People with untidy desktops must be smart. Einstein? Talk about funny classic quotations

63. When you see a book you like, you will buy it for collection, but you don't want to write in it.

64. Don't flirt with me, or I will flirt with you!

Handsome boy, do you know why I put flowers on your chest? I'm telling you, it's a sign of playboy.

Aunt, you are my relative! Don't torture me like this ~

67. Listen to your enemy. He can teach you to see your friends clearly.

68, how many handsome men have been lost in one sentence,

69. Mom told me: If your husband bullies you, let your grandparents take him away.

70. Handsome guy, you will get pregnant if you watch too much.

7 1, I found my nonsense so valuable when I paid the phone bill.

72. Tanabata has finally passed. KTV is quiet, and many hotel rooms are empty. Obstetrics and gynecology in many hospitals are busy.

73. Say I look down on you. Let's see what I can respect for you first.

74. Ten years later, if I am unmarried, ask your son to be careful after school.

You want to make my sister angry, I can only say that you are not qualified? シ

76. If a person doesn't want to go anywhere and doesn't like to go anywhere, who doesn't want to play with whom? He is either ill or bankrupt.

77. Hou Yi, your mother asked you to shoot the sun ~ ~ ~

78. Give you a little sunshine and you will be brilliant; Give you a little flood, and you will flood. If I give you a broken pot, you will eat it. If I give you a chicken nest, you will lay eggs.

79. Xiaoming doesn't wear high heels, and he doesn't need a ladder to change light bulbs. Who is Xiaoming?

80. In fact, the reason why the wolf failed is that all other wolves eat it raw. This product must be cooked.

8 1, [Call a friend to his face and a dog behind his back.]

82. Every time your signature is changed, I will ponder it many times, although I know you are not talking about me.

83.DM: You have no right to see me unhappy, but you have the right to deceive yourself.

84. Rogues are not terrible, but they are afraid of being educated.

85. Buy a 2.50 soda and spray her to death.

86. Xiao San, are you proud of the man who holds me in your hand? I told you politely that I left it!

87. One day, she leaned over his back and asked: Is it heavy? He smiled and said, The whole world is on my back. Why am I not tired?

88. I'm not a bump man. I don't have any monsters to fight. I'm not the wolf. Kotaro can't beat it. I'm not Spongebob. Why are you crying?

89. School taught me the temptation to go home.

90. Do you hate me? Don't like me? Are you scolding me behind my back? Don't play dirty with me, okay Dare you scold me in front of me? Dare you scold me? I hate this, okay? If not, don't mess around.

9 1, I don't know what is frivolous, I only know that the winner is king.

92. When I was three years old, I unfortunately fell off a cliff and met the extinct teacher. He gave me a book. I thought it was a street fighter, but I didn't expect it to be a crayon Shinchan.

If one day, you say goodbye to me, I will answer you with a smile. You should do this, because my gender is not good enough for you! ?

94. Men are always willing to make moves when they are forced.

I have told you many times that I love you. Will you be constipated once?

Wife: Where are you, dear? Husband: What should I do if I go shopping with my best friend? Wife: The clothes you match are very beautiful.

97. People are old, know yourself and know yourself.

98. It was that period of compulsory education that occupied my youth.

99、? Light of the soul? 、? Scold who? 、 ? Scold you? 、 ? Oh, the soul scolded me? .

100, in fact, we are all sent by our mother;