Ask an English joke, two people tell it, three minutes, two people tell it, be funny.

When a group of women got on the bus, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed that a man seemed to be asleep and worried that he would miss his stop, so he nudged him and said, "wake up, sir!" "

"I didn't fall asleep," the man replied.

"Didn't fall asleep? But your eyes are closed. "

"I know. I just hate to see ladies standing next to me in crowded cars. "

I didn't fall asleep

When a group of women got on the bus, all the seats on the bus were taken. The conductor noticed that a person seemed to be asleep. He was worried that the man would miss his stop, so he nudged him and said, "wake up, sir!" " "

"I didn't fall asleep." The man replied.

"Didn't fall asleep? But your eyes are closed? "

"I know, I just don't want to see a lady standing next to me in a crowded car."

Poor husband

"You can't imagine how difficult it is to get along with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asked me a question and then answered it herself. Then she explained to me why my answer was wrong for half an hour.

Poor husband

"You have no idea how difficult it is to deal with my wife," a man complained to his friend. "She asked me a question, then answered it herself, and then spent half an hour explaining to me why my answer was wrong." Where's father?

Two brothers are looking at some beautiful pictures.

"Look," said my brother. "How beautiful these paintings are!"

"Yes," said the younger brother, "but in all these paintings, there are only mothers and children. Where is the father? "

My brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously, he is drawing."

Where's father?

Two brothers are looking at some beautiful oil paintings.

"Look," said my brother, "how beautiful these paintings are!"

"Yes," said the younger brother, "but in all these paintings, there are only mothers and children. Where did dad go? "

My brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously, he is drawing these pictures."

Does the dog know this proverb, too?

The little boy doesn't like the appearance of barking dogs.

"Never mind," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: barking dogs don't bite? "

"Ah, yes," the little boy replied. "I know this proverb, but does the dog also know this proverb?"

Does the dog know this proverb, too?

A little boy dislikes the way dogs bark very much.

"Never mind," said a gentleman. "Don't be afraid. Do you know the proverb: "Barking dogs don't bite." "

"Oh, I know, but does the dog know?"

Can we have our teacher back?

Once, a school inspector visited a school with only three classrooms. A room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy standing and talking. He took the boy to another room and stood him in the corner. Five minutes later, a little boy came out of the first room and said, "When can we get our teacher back?"

Can we send the teacher back?

Once, an inspector visited a school with only three classrooms. One classroom was very noisy, so the inspector caught a man standing and talking, took him to another classroom and made him stand in the corner. Five minutes later, a little boy came in from the first classroom and asked, "When can you let our teacher go back?"

Who is more polite?

A fat man and a thin man are arguing about who is more polite. The thin man said he was more polite because he always took off his hat to ladies. But the fat man knows that he is more polite, because whenever he gets up and gives up his seat, two ladies can sit down.

Who is more polite?

A fat man and a thin man are arguing about who is more polite. The thin man said he was more polite because he often motioned the ladies to take off their hats. But the fat man thinks he is more elegant, because whenever he gives his seat to others in the car, there are always two ladies who can sit down.

Three expensive prices

Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I have to charge you $25 for pulling your son's tooth.

Mother: twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for tooth extraction.

Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loudly that all the other four patients were scared out of the office.

exorbitant price

Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I have to charge $25 for pulling your son's tooth.

Mother: twenty-five dollars! But I know it only costs five dollars to pull out a tooth?

Dentist: Yes. But your son shouted so loudly that he scared away four patients.

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Comment (29)| 196 1

ぇぁかね | Four-level adoption rate 15%

Good at: comic novels, humorous love history topics.

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Wang 757649046 | Level 4

A man was hit by a taxi in the street. He was taken to the hospital. His wife stood by his bed and said to the doctor, "I think he is very ill." "I'm afraid he's dead." The doctor said,

Hearing this, the man moved his head and said, "I'm not dead. I am still alive. " "Be quiet," said the wife. "The doctor knows better than you!"

A man was knocked down by a taxi in the street and was taken to the hospital. His wife stood in front of his bed and said to the doctor, "I think he is badly hurt." The doctor said, "I'm afraid he's dead." Hearing the doctor's words, the man turned his head and said, "I'm not dead, I'm still alive." His wife said, "Be quiet, the doctor knows more than you."

Business is very crowded. A man tried to get on the bus, but no one made way for him.

"Hey, let me get on the bus." The man shouted.

"It's too crowded. You'd better take the next bus. " A passenger said to him.

"But you can't live without me. I am a driver. " The man said.

The bus is crowded. A man wanted to get on the bus, but no one made way for him.

"Hey, let me get on the bus!" The man shouted.

"This bus is too crowded, you'd better take the next one," a passenger said to him.

"But you can't leave me alone. I am a driver! " The man said.

One day, a father and his little son came home. At this age, boys are interested in all kinds of things and always ask questions. Now, he asked, "Dad, what does the word' drunk' mean?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are two policemen standing there. If I think two policemen are four, then I am drunk. "

"But, Dad," said the boy, "there is only one policeman!"

One day, the father came home with his youngest son. The child is at the age of being interested in everything and always has endless questions. He asked his father, "Dad, what does the word' drunk' mean?" "Well, son," the father replied, "Look, there are two policemen standing there. If I see that they are four, then I am drunk. " "But, Dad," said the child, "there is only one policeman there!"

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest because there was no cheese in the apple pie she served. The little boy of this family quietly left the room and went to Amo. When he came back, he took a piece of cheese and put it on the guest's plate. The guest smiled, put the cheese in his mouth and said, "Son, your eyes are definitely better than your mother's. Where did you find the cheese? " "In the rat trap, sir," the boy replied.

The hostess apologized to the guests because there was no cheese at home when they ate apple pie. The little boy in this family left home quietly. After a while, he returned to his room with a piece of cheese and put it on the guest's plate. The guest smiled and put the cheese in his mouth and said, "Son, your eyes are just better than your mother's. Where did you find the cheese? " "On the mousetrap, sir." The little boy said.

Comment (4)|27

Omit | Level 5

A man went to church and started talking to God. He said, "God, what is a million dollars to you?" God said, "a penny", and then the man said, "God, what is a million years to you?" God said, "One second", and then the man said, "God, can I have a penny?" God said "at once"

A man walks into a church and talks to God. He asked, "Lord, what does a million dollars mean to you?" God replied, "A penny." The man asked, "What about a million years?" God said, "One second." Finally, the man asked, "God, can I have a penny?" God replied, "Right away."

Four best friends met in the hospital because their wives were having a baby. The nurse came up to the first man and said, "Congratulations, you have twins." The man said, "It's strange that I'm the manager of the Minnesota Twins." After a while, the nurse came to the second man and said, "Congratulations, you gave birth to triplets." Men are like, "Well, strange, I'm the director of three musketeers." Finally, the nurse walked up to the third person and said

"Congratulations, you have twins x2." The man was very happy and said, "Ironically, I work for a hotel" for four seasons. "All three of them were happy until they saw their last partner jumping around, cursing God and banging his head against the wall. They asked him what happened, and he replied, "What happened? I work for 7-up!

Four good friends met in the hospital, and their wives were having a baby. The nurse came to the first man and said, "Congratulations, you gave birth to twins." The man said, "It's strange that I'm the manager of the Minnesota Twins." After a while, the nurse came to the second man and said, "Congratulations, you gave birth to triplets." Men like it very much: "Well, what a coincidence. I .. you got two pairs of twins. " The man said happily, "That's ridiculous. I work in the Four Seasons Hotel." All three of them were happy, but the fourth partner was as anxious as ants on hot bricks, cursing God and banging his head against the wall. They asked him what happened, and he replied, "What happened? I work in 7-up! "

Hehe, one is more efficient than the other.

Canadian Osama bin Laden and President Bush were walking in the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it, and an elf came out and said, "I will grant everyone one wish, three in all." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer, so I hope the soil in Canada will be fertile forever." The elf said a spell and his wish came true. Osama looked surprised, so he wanted to build a wall around Afghanistan. The genie said a spell and his wish came true again. President Bush said, "Tell me more about this wall, Genie," and the Genie said, "It is 50 feet thick and 500 feet high, so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said, "Wow! That's a bridge ... full of water! ! !

Osama bin Laden, Canadians and President Bush were walking down the street and saw a golden lamp. They wiped the lamp and an elf appeared. The genie said, "I want to grant each of you one wish, three in all." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer, so I want to make the land in Canada fertile forever." The elf said a spell and his wish came true. Osama was surprised when he saw it. He wants a wall around Afghanistan. The genie said a spell and his wish came true again. President Bush asked, "Genie, please tell me about this wall." The genie replied, "The wall is 50 feet thick and 500 feet high, so nothing inside can get out and nothing outside can get in." President Bush said, "Wow! That's a bridge ... full of water! ! ! "

My child swallowed a bullet.

Young mother: "doctor, my baby swallowed a bullet." What should I do?

Doctor: "Don't let him point at anyone."

notes

1. Swallow a bullet.

Step 2 point: aim ...

allybaby

Once, two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down accidentally. He rolled his eyes and seemed to have stopped his fear. Another hunter quickly took out his mobile phone and called the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly, "First of all, you should make sure that he is dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone, and then he heard the hunter ask, "What should I do next?"

Two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them accidentally fell down and his eyes turned white, as if he had stopped breathing. Another hunter quickly took out his mobile phone and dialed the emergency number. The operator said calmly, "The first step is to make sure that your friend is dead." So, the operator heard a gunshot on the phone, and then heard the hunter ask, "What's the second step?"