I have worked so hard for you, I hope everything is worth it

The tears shed these days are unforgettable in this life. Every woman experiences the pain of giving birth, but my pain was from mental to physical.

In the last few days of April, I lived in torment and anticipation every day. The various discomforts in the third trimester of pregnancy kept me awake all night. I was looking forward to my husband's return, but due to the epidemic, I was forced to quarantine after my return.

How great is the hope, how great is the disappointment! In the end, I still didn't wait for him to accompany me and face this life-and-death crisis alone.

During these days when I stopped writing for a few days, I was thinking quietly, woman! A woman's life. It was like going through another disaster in my life, but luckily I got through it.

My mother-in-law went back to her hometown on April 26th. It was very difficult for me to cook for my children at home that day. Take one step at a time, three stops, and lie down on the bed after lunch, until the child comes back from school at six in the afternoon. She ate the instant noodles she made for herself, and I also made do with the leftovers from lunch.

I am still blaming my mother-in-law in my heart. I am like this. Yesterday the doctor recommended hospitalization. Why do you still want to go back to your hometown?

On this day, I didn’t dare to walk. Every time I took a step, my stomach felt tight and uncomfortable, so I could only lie down on the bed.

I felt uncomfortable until the evening. My stomach was always hard and I didn’t dare to get out of bed. I sent a message to my husband and he said, why not go to the hospital for a checkup? This is really worrying. I said it's already evening now, so let's go tomorrow when it's daytime. I'll try to endure it for a while. Maybe I'm too tired. I should be fine if I can survive tonight.

But after a while, I wanted to go to the toilet, but there was no toilet. It looked like it was past ten o'clock, and then I called my sister-in-law to tell her the situation. She said if it didn't work, go to the hospital. It doesn't matter if you feel it yourself. When she said this, I didn't want to go.

Actually, I don’t know what to do. On the one hand, I am worried about the baby in my belly and fear of any danger. On the other hand, I am lucky enough to hold on for a while and stay up until dawn. Because I wasn't ready to go to the hospital yet, I couldn't worry about my family or my children. It was twelve o'clock and I still didn't sleep. I told my sister that I felt a little uncomfortable. Later, my sister and eldest brother came, packed up my things and drove to the hospital.

We are very close to the hospital and will arrive in a short time. Because there was only one doctor on duty at night, after asking about the situation, he did a simple examination. Then the attending doctor came to ask about the situation and asked me to take out all the pregnancy test sheets. I was lying on the bed and had a fetal heart rate monitoring performed on me. When the results of the fetal heart rate monitoring came out, the doctor said to go downstairs immediately to do a nucleic acid test and go to the family office for hospitalization. Your situation is very dangerous and the emergency requires immediate surgery.

Surgery immediately! I was surprised, why did we need emergency surgery? I'm not ready yet. I want to stay in the hospital for a few more days of observation or maybe wait until my husband comes back.

The doctor said: "Your situation cannot be delayed any longer. Uterine contractions have become so frequent that they occur once every three minutes. Because this is your second cesarean section, too frequent uterine contractions may lead to uterine rupture. , both you and the child will be in danger, and we cannot afford such a responsibility. Originally, I wanted to ask our director for instructions, but I had no time to report it to my superiors.”

After listening to the doctor’s words, I burst into tears. There was a rush of water in an instant...

I went downstairs to do nucleic acid tests because the doctor on duty fell asleep at night. We waited for twenty minutes before someone was called! She walked slowly from that department to the nucleic acid testing point, but I was so anxious that I kept covering my stomach with my hands.

My sister told me who to call, please tell me quickly. It was already almost two o'clock in the morning. In the middle of the night, I didn't want to worry my family, so I sent a message to my sister and brother saying that I would be entering the operating room shortly.

Back in the ward, the doctor asked, who are your immediate family members? Where is my husband? I said he is still in quarantine and has not returned home. So who signed this? Then my husband called and asked my sister to sign on my behalf. I was lying on the hospital bed, and while the doctor was examining me, I signed a lot of things with my phone in the air.

Please understand the last few words signed, in case of childbirth accident. I left the pre-operative conversation to my sister, but I didn’t want to hear it and didn’t dare to listen, so I felt scared.

Then I did a B-ultrasound, an electrocardiogram, and a blood draw. I just finished the inspection the day before, so I omitted all unnecessary inspections.

The last message was sent to my husband, saying that I was going in.

The anesthesiologist said, come on, come with me to the operating room. I followed him in embarrassment like a dog, holding my stomach and walking slowly, leaving a string of tears behind me...

I heard others say that the anesthetic needle is very long. , to be inserted into the bone seam. I went to the doctor over and over again, and I said it hurts so much, my right leg hurts so much. She said, I pulled it out and found it again. After repeating this several times, I lost feeling in my legs.

They covered my upper body with a cloth, and through the headlight, I could see the bloody scene. If the first caesarean section was about ignorance and fear, the second one was more about worry and fear. At this time, only tears accompany me. I walked into the operating room safely. Will I be able to come out safely?

The child has not yet been confessed, the husband has not come back, and the parents dare not tell him. Thinking of this, hot tears fell on the operating table.

Before entering the operating room, the doctor asked you whether you need to take a medicine. This medicine is not included in the reimbursement of combined treatment. Prevent uterine cavity adhesion. If the first operation is not done well, this operation is very dangerous. I said to use it without saying a word.

I saw the 3.12 surgery written on the bracelet they put on me. It ended at 4:45 and it was 5 o'clock when I returned to the ward.

When I returned to the ward, I asked where the baby was. My sister said that she had taken him to the neonatal department. Said the child was suffocating with the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck and they needed to observe it.

As soon as I lay on the bed for a while, the anesthetic wore off, and my wound started to hurt, which made me moan all the time.

They said I could rest, but I couldn't sleep. Day and night, my eyes didn't close, and my lips were dry and peeling.

I just want to drink water at this time, I am so thirsty. But you can't drink water without ventilation.

After dawn, many people called me after knowing the news. I no longer had the strength to speak.

The phrase "You have suffered, take a good rest" made me burst into tears.

After six hours, I was asked to move my body as much as possible to ventilate it as quickly as possible. After ventilation, you can drink water and eat.

I finally had gas after being hungry for 12 hours. I quickly drank a large glass of water. The skin on my lips was dry. After drinking the water, I peeled it off. Is this considered a new life, a new transformation?

On the morning of the second day of the operation, the doctor forced him to get out of bed to go to the bathroom. Unable to get out of bed, he held on to the guardrail beside the bed, moved his body to the edge of the bed step by step, and then slowly lowered his legs. shift. After finally moving to the bed, I felt a splitting pain in my stomach. Every step I took was difficult. She covered her stomach with her hands in pain, tears welling up in her eyes. Going to the bathroom also hurts and I felt all kinds of discomfort. I closed the door and cried quietly in the bathroom.

My husband said that he cheered me up and believed that I could bear it. Yes, what else can I do besides endure? I know they are doing it for my own good and hope that I will recover as soon as possible, but I am as fragile as straw. My whole body is ups and downs, and I will fall down if I am not careful.

On the third day, the pain was still there. My whole body was no longer my own. My legs were sore, I was dizzy, and I felt uncomfortable everywhere. I couldn't get up from the bed, so I moved step by step. My sister-in-law, who was taking care of me in the hospital, said she couldn't understand how uncomfortable a C-section was. Yes, how can people who have not experienced it empathize with it? For those who have experienced it, everyone's situation is different. It's not like I'm exchanging my life for one, it feels like I'm exchanging half my life.

My husband’s quarantine ends on the 29th, but he will continue to be quarantined at home. The doctor didn't allow me to come to the hospital, so he cooked some meals for me at home and delivered them to my door on time.

On the fourth day after the operation, the pain was better when I got out of bed with an abdominal belt tied. I was finally able to slowly move out of bed on my own.

The abdominal belt recommended by the doctor costs 180 yuan. I think it is expensive and don’t want to buy it. But the doctor said that my uterus was recovering very slowly, and there were several pills in it that I was advised to take to help my body recover as quickly as possible.

Yes, I want to recover as soon as possible. I can't keep relying on my sister-in-law and sister to take care of me all the time. On the second day of hospitalization, the doctor asked someone who had to stay with me to take care of me. They all said that it was impossible to stay with me because they all had things to do. Finally, the doctor ordered that no matter what, someone must be left to take care of me. Later, my sister-in-law said that the difficulty only lasted a few days, and she could make it through in just a few days.

I cheered for myself in my heart, I will get better soon! I'll get out of bed quickly. This way, even if no one is in the hospital, I can be alone.

I am doubly grateful for the two of them taking turns these days. Everyone has their own things to do, and there is nothing you can do if you are forced to be in the hospital. It suddenly occurred to me that having children is not for old age, but for everyone to help out when something happens. For example, right now, if my husband is an only child with no siblings, what should I do this time?

On the fifth day after the operation, the milk increased, and I expressed it three times a day and gave it to the child. The doctor said that colostrum is good for the baby. I was expressing milk and silently said to myself, hoping that the baby would become stronger after taking the colostrum. I haven’t seen the baby yet, and I don’t seem to know what the baby looks like. In the operating room, the doctor told me from a distance that it was my daughter and asked me to take care of myself and not worry about the child.

So I still haven’t seen Xiaobao for a few days. I called the pediatrician and they said the situation was getting better and they needed to continue to monitor me. I felt a trace of self-blame in my heart. If I had come to the hospital earlier, the child would not have suffocated. If my husband comes back early, there will be no quarantine. If there is no epidemic, everything will be happy. But right now, I just hope the baby is okay.

On the sixth day, the doctor said that if you want to be discharged from the hospital, you can leave the hospital today, but this is your second cesarean section and it is recommended that you stay one more day to do a check-up. After living here for so long, I don’t care about one more day. Thinking of being discharged from the hospital tomorrow, I feel much better. When the doctor came for rounds, he said that I was in good condition today and it didn't feel like you were giving birth. I smiled and said that the child was not around and I didn’t feel anything. I just came for an operation.

You know how good or bad your life is, and all the pain and suffering are buried in your heart. I force myself every day to get better quickly and recover my body as soon as possible. So the happy smile you see is the result of my reluctant blooming after enduring it for a long time.

On the seventh day after the operation, I was discharged from the hospital today. I have been looking forward to it for a long time. I can finally see the light of day again. I wish I could walk freely like a normal person. Early in the morning, our city conducted nucleic acid testing for all employees, so by the time the procedures were completed, it was already past 12 noon.

Contact the confinement center after expressing milk for the baby. They said they would pick me up at 1:00. I said we were ready and you could come at any time. At this time they said they would come right away and asked us to go downstairs to prepare.

When I was carrying my luggage and preparing to leave, the doctor said that there was still a leg physiotherapy that they had not done today and they had forgotten about it. I said, I am discharged from the hospital today. Forget it, I won’t do it. Why didn’t I come earlier? The car is waiting outside!

Then the sister-in-law put the luggage at the door of the hospital. I slowly walked out behind me, and from a distance I saw my husband and mother-in-law standing under the tree. They didn't speak when they saw me, and I didn't say hello. I walked slowly by the road where my sister-in-law let you go. After waiting for two minutes, the car hasn't come yet, and my husband is mumbling, why are you going downstairs in such a hurry? The hospital is going to give you physical therapy on your legs, won't you finish it before leaving? I didn't respond, thinking the news was fast enough!

After a while he said again, what do you think you are doing here so early? He is still waiting here. He is a service unit, so he should be allowed to wait for you. After a while, he complained again, waiting here all the time! Why haven't you come yet? I still didn't speak. At this time, the sister-in-law said to her husband, please stop talking quietly.

When the wind blew, my sister-in-law used an umbrella to protect me. At this time, my mother-in-law walked in front of me and said, you should dress warmly. I said, it's not cold.

I looked at the time and waited for seven minutes, when a black car came slowly. The people at the confinement center helped me get into the car, but my husband didn’t say a word behind him. Sitting in the car heading to the confinement center, my tears suddenly flowed out again.

No one can express the sorrow and grievance in my heart. What have I experienced in the hospital these days? The only clear thing was my tears when I suffered and suffered. It had been a long time since we had seen each other. He was not considerate or asked me for help. When I was discharged from the hospital, he didn’t come to help me. He just kept complaining. Didn’t you just wait 7 minutes? These 7 minutes also made my heart feel cold.

Because my husband couldn’t go anywhere during the quarantine, my sister-in-law sent me to the confinement center. Then my husband called me over and over again at home. I was in such a bad mood that I didn't want to answer the phone.

People who understand you don’t need to say anything. The deepest love is hidden in the details.

Sometimes love and hate are also long-lasting, and love and hate are just in a moment. Sometimes your hard work is nothing but lightness in the eyes of men.

Don’t try to have expectations. The greater the expectations, the greater the disappointment.

Only through experience can one understand life. Only by understanding can one know how to cherish it. Only by cherishing it can one live a better life. In the confinement center, a person faced an empty room and wrote down all his experiences in the past few days on his pen.

Live well, live well. Life is nothing but life and death, and how many times can a woman experience the pain of giving birth? My little cotton-padded jacket, there is so much more of you in this world, you should be kind to me, and I should also be kind to myself, because we are worth it!