20 19 funny talk about humorous signature

1, the first love is infinitely good, but it hangs early. 2. Suffer first and then suffer more.

3, love will leave scars, but it also teaches people to forget the pain.

A tailor who doesn't want to be a cook is not a good driver.

5. Don't say you have nothing. You are still sick.

6. Don't you rely on the support of the Animal Protection Association?

7. As soon as I opened my eyes, I knew you were a demon.

8. Money is a good medicine, and it has a blatant effect.

9. We agreed to grow old together, but you secretly anointed it.

10, you were still an egg when I became a swan.

1 1, getting up now is not by perseverance, but by peeing.

12, you are my north star, tell me the way forward.

13, I regard money as dirt, and my father regards me as a septic tank.

14. In my country, even foreigners regard me as a foreigner.

15, have you ever thought about suicide? I want to fucking kill you!

16, it's not necessarily monks who burn incense, but pandas!

17, one's own daughter-in-law, coaxed and used not to be ashamed, this is called love.

18. Do you leave the toilet with shit or leave your ass?

19, I am not a customer service staff, and you have no right to ask me to answer this and that.

20. It is not difficult to get one hand wet, but it is difficult to get a quilt wet!

2 1, I can accept more homework, but I don't want to understand.

22. Read thousands of books and Wan Li Road, make a fortune and be a heartthrob.

I haven't lost weight because of your "take care" for so many years.

24. Have you finished reading the review materials? I think it's over.

It is your responsibility to educate us, and it is our right not to be educated!

26. Don't owe me, or I'll kick you to the post and sing conquest.

Give me a chance to be a fucking dog, and I will jump on you without hesitation.

28. Boys' legs are so thin, why don't they wear skirts and their legs are too long?

29. God gave me a pair of black eyeballs. Why are you rolling your eyes?

30. Grandpa said: I watched the news broadcast for decades, but I didn't see the finale.

3 1. Love is like a movie. When the film was over, everyone broke up.

Go ahead, don't spoil the word youth, you are already in beginning of autumn!

33. If you don't eat what's in the bowl, just eat more in the pot.

34. Girl, hold my hand. Tell all the sad things and come with me.

Don't think that God has abandoned you, because God has no time to talk to you.

36. Let my memories related to youth and warmth be your shadow.

37. Your explanation is cover-up, cover-up is fact, and fact is the beginning of evil.

38, my world suddenly began to snow, my god! Please don't comb your hair next to me.

39. I will run forward, climb up if I can, but I can't just get down on the spot.

40. If my life is a TV series, then you are an advertisement that has been killed halfway.

4 1, the sweetest thing I can think of is that I like you every day.

42. You are two-thirds similar to Teacher Cang. Which two thirds? aged

43. When you feel particularly charming, you must take photos to wake yourself up.

44. Without you, who will give me the warmth I need when I am lonely?

In fact, every time I lose my temper with you, I especially regret not hitting you.

46. If a beautiful woman can really be eaten as a meal, my beautiful woman is probably the rhythm of starvation.

47. I just slapped my wallet. Actually, it's nothing. I just hope it will swell up.

48. Men spend money to make women happy, while women spend money because men make them unhappy.

49. For a lazy and delicious person like me, the only way to lose weight is to shit more.

50. How do two people who love each other keep Sauvignon Blanc? Kill each other and bury them in one place.

5 1, I bought an inch monitor to make my mistakes look smaller!

52. I have eight honors on my left and eight disgraces on my right, representing my waist, harmony in my chest, people blocking killing, and Buddha blocking killing Buddha!

There are many levels of inferiority complex. The highest state of inferiority is boasting that everything is a genius.

54. They all say they love you because they want to sleep with you. I'm different. I can live in the living room, kitchen, sofa and floor.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. If you want to be a hermit, try changing garlic.

I once had a pair of wings, but I didn't use them to soar in the sky, but put them in a pot to stew soup.

57, such a big wind, girl, my hair is really all kinds of postures, swings, surges and waves.

58. The government thinks about how to collect taxes reasonably, the boss thinks about how to avoid taxes reasonably, and I think about how to sleep reasonably!

59, the result of learning the sun, the goddess takes a selfie, the local tyrant has money, the model basks in the body, and Laozi goes home for a holiday to bask in the sun!

60. A good friend is probably that you are crazy. I don't want to go crazy with you, but I will give you medicine regularly. .

6 1. What if someone calls you a coward? You have seed. You have many kinds of colorful seeds, but it's a pity that you are a hybrid.

62. I thought the tiger photo was real, but as soon as I heard the government say it was true, I immediately knew it was fake!

63. Both girls love you. One is beautiful and talented, and the other is gentle and housekeeping. Which one do you choose? Divorce your family first.

When I left the subway station this morning, the escalator broke down. I was stuck up there for over an hour, so I was late.

65. I'll tell you again with my personal experience that you can't touch your mobile phone when you do your homework, otherwise it will be like eating dazzle!

66. Will you stop touching me? I didn't touch it. Then what are you doing? I am purposeful contact.

67, fart quickly, the heart is not good; Do not fart, exercise; I'm going to fart, everyone. Fart rang, everyone applauded!

68. You borrowed a dress from Baiyun, a pair of wings from a bird, and then flew over and said to me, we birds are all like this.

69. If two people have a long relationship, sooner or later. Dear baby, I can't stay with you forever, but my heart will always be with you.

70. One day, the Chinese teacher asked us to write handsome words silently, but the deskmate couldn't write them. He looked up and glanced at my face quietly, and actually wrote it down.

7 1. I fell in love with you at first sight and didn't say hug you. I come to see you every three days, and no one kisses you around. I will marry you in five days, and I will not part for sixty years!

72. I think I am a dog, guarding your door every day. I think I am a pig, reading with you every day. I think I am a sheep and accompany you to the canteen every day.

73. It took five minutes to get up this time, and you have beaten 88% of the students in the country. There is still a classmate in the dormitory who can't get up and is starting over. The dormitory next door collapsed.

74. Since childhood, three people have been childhood friends. I thought when I grew up, they would chase me like in TV series. Unexpectedly, they are now preparing to get married abroad.

75. Honey, we will grow old. I hope we can help each other, hug each other and sleep, let memories accompany us to smile, and let love linger in our hearts forever!

76. I feel like a foreigner when I see my Chinese homework; When I saw my English homework, I felt that I was from China again. I didn't know I was an alien until I saw my math homework.

77. God closed the window of mathematics for me, locked the door of Chinese by the way, sealed the drain pipe of chemistry and blocked the sewer of physics. Even the dog hole in English is blocked by bricks.

78. It's hard to say goodbye when you are one. It's sad to cry when you are happy, and it's long to kiss, laugh and cry. Our hearts know each other, and the moon is like my heart at this time, and this feeling has lasted for a long time!

79. Do you eat bitter gourd? Don't eat. Radish? Don't eat. Pumpkin? Don't eat. You don't eat anything, you are so picky about food! Huh? I'm not picky about food! I eat all kinds of meat!

2020 Funny Talk about Humor Signature Personality Signature Funny Humor

1. My mother urges me to find a girlfriend every day, but I can't help it. I handed her a photo of Fan Bingbing and said, "This is my girlfriend. She grabbed the photo, looked at it carefully for half a minute, frowned and said, "If you don't look for it, you won't look for it. Why did you lie to me with photos of my youth? "

2. Sleep in the world of children and wake up in the sadness of adults.

3. Who cares about me except 10086?

The passenger ship was sinking and the leader grabbed a life jacket. The secretary reminded me that there were still many women on board, director. The leader growled, "What time is it? I am still thinking about it! " !

I want to go to the toilet to calm down. Eating shit won't solve the problem.

On the bus, the driver finally gave up his position at the strong request of the old man. . . .

7. I finally made up my mind to double 1 1 and finally chose a night! ! Then. . . Not anymore. All goods will expire in 5 minutes. Only at the movies tonight, I stayed up late.

8. Last June165438+1October, Cuban said that he was determined not to screw up. Yesterday, he admitted in a radio program that they had tried to lose every game since they decided not to enter the playoffs. Isn't this Piapia's face?

9. Baga, don't you dare play LOL and ignore me. I removed the r key from your keyboard. Baga, don't you dare to dance and ignore me. I removed the space bar from your keyboard.

10, Wukong is very sexy, leopard print and steel pipe.

1 1. My girlfriend went to weigh herself. As soon as she stood up, the scale soared to 130 kg. My girlfriend looked at me angrily and said, don't touch me! I said, "I didn't do anything bad!" " Girlfriend, you stay away from me! I'm-I'm far away from you. My girlfriend shouted back, move your shadow, too.

12, don't always tell labor and management that I love you, and I will hate you after I love you.

13, when a girl answers the phone, if it is a strange call, her voice will definitely be very delicate, and if it is a girlfriend call, her voice will be comparable to that of an aunt.

14, my brother, when I was in the third year of high school, my brother's mother randomly checked his papers, and the results were all empty and nothing was written. I was furious, and my brother also explained: our teacher said we don't need to write, and we didn't wait for the teacher to answer back. Think about it carefully, there is nothing wrong with this statement ~

15, go out for a snack with friends. Friend a ordered a rice noodle. After eating, he wiped his mouth with a paper towel and threw it into a bowl filled with rice noodles. Friend b came last. He came and saw paper towels floating in the bowl, so he put chopsticks in his mouth without asking us. I remember him saying, Gee, this jiaozi looks good.

16, I finally understand why I have no inspiration, because there is a saying that love can inspire people. .

17, how could I even give in to you when we broke up? Go to hell!

18, starting from today, I will start to cherish my weekend! People who haven't had a weekend holiday for three months will sleep in. I'm a little excited to think about it.

19, the current porcelain touching technology is really hard to prevent. Last night, an old lady asked me to take a picture of her at the gate of the community. Just after taking the photo, she grabbed me and cried, your flash is too flashing and broke my waist!

20. "Are you sick?" "Do you have any medicine?" "I have birth control pills. Do you eat? "

2 1, pig hunting notice: I lost a pure white pig. Features: smart, considerate, holding a mobile phone to read short messages, loving pigs, and returning the information to the owner quickly after reading it! Master misses you now!

It's really troublesome for some fat pigs to kill this all day. Would you please take out your gun first? ]

23. At school, my classmates and I went to fetch hot water. On the way back to the dormitory, the thermos squeaked. I said, it is not good to blow it up. This guy whooshed the thermos bottle out. Bang, it really blew up. This friend is worried. Fortunately, I threw it quickly and didn't explode.

24. I hope someone hurts, someone loves, someone tolerates, someone sleeps with me, someone teases me, someone eats my cooking, someone praises me, someone accompanies me, and someone holds my hand when crossing the street.

25. In the car, a young woman took a girl of 145 years old. The little girl sitting next to me said, uncle, your beard is so handsome. I'll let you do this when I grow up. I said that girls don't have beards and your mother doesn't. As a result, she returned to me, and my mother grew up below.

26. God created virgins and men created women.

27. Send you a cup of juice specially prepared by me, which contains the blessings of cc, the happiness of cc every day and the vitality of cc. Happy birthday!

28. I should tear off the label of "national inspection-free products" on the refrigerator and stick it on my summer homework.

29.do you like water?

30. At lunch in the afternoon, a handsome guy kept staring at me and smiled slightly. I was so excited! I wonder if this handsome guy has a crush on me? At this time, my friend said to me, wipe the rice on your nose with paper!

2020 Funny Talk about Humorous Signature

20xx Funny Talk about Humorous Signature

1, parents fool their children into calling education; Children fool their parents and say that their parents are derailed; Fooling each other is called the generation gap.

2. Some people can stay in your heart, but they can't stay in your life.

Play a Chopin serenade to commemorate my dead cactus.

4, no matter how awesome you are, you can also pick up the rake in the sky with your mouth.

5. Either you die or I live, choose one.

6. Can I meet such a person, because he is not a vagrant.

7. I try my best to make life simple and be natural to happiness or loneliness.

8. My advantages are: I am handsome; But my shortcoming is: handsome is not obvious.

For countless moments, I thought I would not see the sun tomorrow, because it would be cloudy.

10 in fact, genius and talent are the same, but genius is two more than talent.

1 1. The school doesn't want us to fall in love, just wants us to wear matching clothes.

12, speaking is better than singing, and doing is not as good as singing.

13, mixing entertainment circles is like playing mahjong. If you want to be a big name, you have to give up a pot of chicken!

14, the math teacher cursed: I fart your mother's 72-square screw.

15, I said I love you to heaven, and it thundered.

16, single dog, I haven't lived as a single turtle for a long time.

17, sometimes, I accidentally know something, only to find that what I care about is so ridiculous.

18, my future husband is unknown, and neither is the person who wants to drink me to the old age.

19, red beans don't grow in the south, they grow on my face, I really want to!

20. I am a special person. I am an ordinary person, so I am a particularly ordinary person.

2 1, I feel that I don't lack anything. Come to think of it, there is nothing.

22. Whose daughter lent it to me, and I'll pay you back one big and one small next year.

23. Distance does not produce beauty, but only a mistress.

24. Women are books and men are pigs. Never expect pigs to read.

25. God didn't take special care of me or abandon me, just playing with me.

26, such as China developed. Ask foreigners to translate classical Chinese.

27. If you are a wolf, practice your teeth. If you are a sheep, practice your legs.

28. When I want to say something most, it is often the time when I am most silent.

I usually don't care what you do to me, but don't let me have a chance to be nice to you in the future.

As a woman in the new century, we should rob money, grain and men.

3 1, let your past push you to grow more, instead of adding more resentment.

Only by cutting off your retreat can you win a better way out.

33, the tree is not skinned, dead; People are shameless and invincible in the world.

Don't say that you look down on me, and I have been ignoring you.

Don't be too proud, girl. Let's play together and pretend to be pure. You will suffer sooner or later.

36. When the nurse saw a patient drinking in the ward, she went over and whispered to him, Sweetheart! The patient smiled and said, little baby.

37. Forgive me for coming all the way to buy spicy strips.

38. When I was a child, I thought that going to school would be promising. When I grow up, I find that relationships are the way out.

39. If it rains, let it kill me!

40. Skin is the most magical part of human body, which can be large or small, thick or thin.

4 1, think one week before the exam: strive for the first place, the week before: just work hard, and after the exam: focus on participation.

42. The summer vacation has come and I haven't been back in the morning.

Although it is good to go to bed early and get up early, it is good to go to bed late and get up late.

44. Now we are less young and ignorant and more mature and steady.

45. I still have to listen to math class, in case I understand it one day.

46. You work, and I'm tired. You drink, and my stomach hurts. You are sad and I cry. I will cover you when you sleep, because I am your good baby.

47. Teenagers are not reckless, but they are bold. I wonder where the theme came from when they were old.

48. Brilliant as fireworks, loving like a fool, and so began a fairy tale.

49. Eat when you are hungry. If you miss me, call me.

50, only to know that the bride means to take over from the mother to take care of her son.

5 1, Song Joong Ki is a descendant of the sun? I'm a fucking descendant of the dragon, and no one is my girlfriend.

52. Some people, when they see something clearly, bow their heads.

53. Some people make masks that look much better than real people.

You, don't talk, you lower the IQ of the whole street. You turn around. You influenced my thinking.

55, others laugh that I am too slutty, and I laugh that others can't sleep!

56. Today you offend me, tomorrow you will perish!

57. When I am old, I just hope to have your company.

58. Commodities have a shelf life, and people sometimes get tired of looking at them. How long can you be awesome in my heart?

I am such a stubborn person that I never do my summer homework until I die.

60. You thought you were as proud as a peacock. I thought you were a cockfight!

6 1, six hairs and six hairs are the most unhappy, because they add up to one and two hairs.

62. It doesn't matter that not every apology can be exchanged.

63. First love is not necessarily the first person, but the first person who makes you feel that love makes you desperate.

64. The so-called successful woman is a cow during the day and a cow at night.

65. What if I had the whole world without you?

66. Your appearance has affected my healthy growth. I saw you. The mood is more tangled than going to the grave.

67. At first glance, you don't look good. The second eye, it is better to be fierce.

68. People with big faces are generally super good-tempered, because it is really difficult to open their faces.

69. Do you know what kind of fruit I like? I tell you, I like eating stupid fruit like you best.

70. I said to keep a low profile, but you just gave me applause and screams.

7 1. In ancient times, when girls were dating, it was up to their parents to say whether they wanted it or not. If you don't want to, say that your daughter wants to live with her parents for two years.

72. When a person meets another person, he will suddenly become himself.

73. Everyone looked for her for thousands of times, and suddenly looking back, that person still shrugged off me.

74. It may seem so, but not necessarily.

I would rather have an enemy like God than a friend like a dog.

76. My heart has been unconsciously filled with you, and nothing else can fit.

77. Life is an excuse for the weak, and luck is the modesty of the strong.

78. Because I don't know what a lifetime is, it's easy to curse people all my life.

79. You are a little round. I'm not fat. I mean, you deserve to be beaten.

80, life can be pursued, but don't compare; You can be vain, but you must rely on yourself!

8 1, as long as you have brains and feelings, enlightenment and help are everywhere.

82. Don't look at me, I'm already Wan Jian.

I want to give you the whole universe. You just need to give me the whole world.

84. Broken glass, no matter how cleverly pasted, will also have cracks.

85. Being betrayed and hurt occasionally is a kind of growth, and it's nothing.

Since we can't go back, don't go back and edit our idol drama again.

Live like the sun 1, even if it burns others.

88. In fact, there is nothing that everyone's life can't be redesigned.

89. Love makes me play hard core without hesitation, and it also makes us hysterical and morbid.

90. Why don't I have a stunning deskmate, but my deskmate does?

9 1, when you recall the past, it can only show that you are not doing well now.

92. When one day you find that you have lost your youth, you really have lost your youth.

93. Look into my eyes and you will see persistence and sincerity except chewing gum.

94. Love is like raindrops. The more you think about it, the more chaotic it becomes.

95. The love I want is not a lifetime without quarreling, but a lifetime after quarreling.

96. Are you lit like a firecracker? The result of a little fire is cannon fodder.

97. When you left, I said I would bless you forever. But I will curse you to the end.

98, god wants to make people perish, must first make it crazy; God wants people to be crazy. He wants them to buy a house first.

Thank you for stealing my partner and letting me know that he is putting on airs.

100, I don't want to hear how much you love me, I just want you to give me a hug when I need you most.

10 1. A toad that doesn't want to eat swan meat is not a good toad, but a toad that ate swan meat is still a toad.

102, the body does not allow, men have columns, but their hearts are stronger than men!

103, last night I dreamed that men all over the world had dysmenorrhea!

104, life is a lucid dream, a dream that cannot be awakened.

Sister, charming facial features are the beginning of your crime.

106, broke up. One day, you are tired, bored and tired. Come back to me and give you my shoulder to lean on.

107, there is always a person, you want to drive him away from your heart, but you can't.

Cold humor and funny signature 20 19

1. Every time you lose weight, you say you are thin, and when you lose weight, you say you have big breasts.

2, selling cute, playing charming, do you dare to be a good girl like me?

3, urinate anywhere, be careful to be seen by dogs, take your little jj away.

Just because I saw you more in the crowd, I was pricked in the eye the next day.

When I like you, what the fuck are you doing, going out with a bitch?

6. Labor is not a ball. Roll if you want, roll if you don't want.

7. I think you're farting when you talk, and then it's gone.

8. You are a ball tied with a rope. If you go away, I can pull you back

9. I won't work for you, an evil capitalist, even if I am a street vendor.

10, come out and walk the dog if you have nothing to do. I despise you.

1 1. Now that I'm gone, don't defile my eyes again.

12, I love you, but it doesn't mean I can't live without you. Be careful not to kick you out in a bad temper.

13, I love you, come back for you, fuck you, I love you.

14, people sometimes cry when they are old, so love is over. Let's go

15, fuck love, employers and employees don't like it, please take mistress out of my sight.

16, all the pain is anger at your incompetence.

17, life is a very realistic thing, and you can't do whatever you want.

18, you haven't been cursed by heaven yet, and it's not the end of the year.

19, where do I fall every time? I don't know where there should be a pit

It's not that I don't want anyone except you, but that I don't want anyone except you.

2 1, I love you because I am blind, and you love him because you are blind.

22. At that time, simplicity was synonymous with innocence; Now, simplicity is synonymous with pack to force.

23, women, to live a high profile, don't let the dog behind you see jokes.

He abandoned me and will abandon you sooner or later, so don't be too happy.

25. Smart women value friends, while stupid women value friends.

If you don't love me, please leave consciously, or I will let you die very ugly.

27. Don't play tricks behind my back. You can walk up to my mother.

28. Go up and kick someone when they bully you, and then tell him that you are not easy to bully.

29. Why are you crying? You are a useless person, aren't you?

Don't be silly, the best person in the world has married your mother.

3 1, I'm full, who can stun myself?

32. I hope to see you become a white-haired grandfather.

I just want to prove to you that I'm happy to dump you.

Today is your birthday, and a friend ordered a stool cake for you.

My colleague Bugatti Veyron was driven away by the traffic police one day.

36. During the onset of chronic depression, strangers don't bother and acquaintances don't look for it.

37. How many good students have you raped at school? Sin. Sin?

38. Have a plenty of monitor, have a plenty of study committee, I am the representative of the unreasonable class.

39. If your wife says you, just listen; I said you, just bear it.

40. It is said that I met love at the corner, but I met a big German shepherd at the corner.