Joke Collection Website - Talk about mood - Guan Sandao (3) Heavenly Thunder Kills Demons and Erlong Mountain Kills Tigers
Guan Sandao (3) Heavenly Thunder Kills Demons and Erlong Mountain Kills Tigers
After the book continued, Guan San cursed a few words secretly, then calmed down and adapted to the situation. When the boss saw that Guan San was injured, he took advantage of the situation and whipped out his whip again. Several black shadows flew towards Guan San and struck at him. Guan San was like a loach in the water, scurrying around and dodging back and forth. The tip of the whip hovered in the air and struck the ground, leaving terrifying cracks on the ground. After arguing for a long time, neither party took advantage.
? Guan San dodged left and right, making him so tired that his nose was hollow and his temples were sweating. Just when he wasn't paying attention, he walked into a dead end. Guan San saw that there was nowhere to hide in front of him, and the whip that came from behind rushed towards him like a black python.
As the saying goes, people are afraid of being pushed, but horses are afraid of riding. If you are brave enough, you will not be afraid of gods! Guan San's heart skipped a beat: Today I want to see whether Grandpa Guan's knife is stronger or your whip is stronger! He couldn't help but exert all his strength, his hands were as fast as the wind, and the knife moved with great force. There was only a "click" sound, and the knife in Guan San's hand was like cutting a cucumber. He easily cut the whip into two pieces, and in an instant, a whip appeared. Black smoke stained the air, and the smell of stinky meat spread out. Guan San couldn't help but frown, and retched again and again. Just seeing the boss screaming again and again, like a ghost crying and a wolf howling, Guan San's hair stood on end when he heard it. After thinking about it, he felt confident. This whip must be the monster's weakness! But why is this knife so powerful?
? Endorsement in the book: Guan San just cut off the second child’s head, pooped and peed himself, and sat down. His pants were stained with urine and a thick mess on the ground. Get together and apply it on the knife. It just so happened that Guan San was a boy, and the thick stuff was the black dog blood left after Guan San killed the black dog today. Dog is the most yang animal, and the dog is Xu. The five elements belong to earth, earth can overcome water, and can overcome yin things. According to legend, the Roaring God Dog under the Erlang God's throne is a black dog that can absorb the innate Yang Qi. The black dog in the world is closest to him, so the black dog is the most domineering. The evil spirits are most afraid of these evil-proof things. Besides, the sword in his hand is an ancestral treasure. I only heard my mother say that my ancestor was a famous general. As the saying goes: One general can kill thousands of bones. I don’t know how many souls were killed with that sword. , so the murderous intention is very strong. No matter you are a spider spirit, a tortoise spirit, a ghost-headed toad spirit or any other monster, you will be hurt when you touch it, and it will hurt if you are hit by it. If you are slashed by a knife, hundreds of years of Taoism will be lost. The boss was originally a long-tailed gray-skinned rat with an extremely flexible tail that could pick up bugs under rocks so that he could eat them easily. After practicing for more than a hundred years, his tail can be transformed into a long whip, which is so hard that you can beat a pig to death, let alone an ordinary person. But the most critical part is also the tail. It was also time that this mouse was about to run out of vitality. When it was changing its skin, it was accidentally injured by Guan San.
"What a... what a powerful knife." The boss screamed miserably, staring at Guan San fiercely. He hit the painful spot, physically and mentally weak. Guan San seized the opportunity, raised the knife and dropped it. The head rolled to the ground, blood spattered, and its body actually walked a few steps before falling to the ground, and soon turned into a headless mouse that was larger than a cat.
? The third child was surrounded in the "red circle" and saw that the eldest brother's head was missing, and he couldn't help but get angry. As soon as I stepped on the edge of the circle, I suddenly felt pain in my feet and screamed. After a while, only white bones were left in his lower body, and pieces of flesh were attached to the bones, which was horrifying. The third child yelled: "What kind of witchcraft did you use to hurt the monk's Dharma body, you damn naughty boy! Are you not afraid of the pain of falling into reincarnation forever!"
? Guan San After hearing this, I felt angry. At first I didn't dare to come forward, and then I didn't dare to come out when I saw him. Then he dared to think of something to show off, so he spat in his face and shook his head: "Fuck you, you are a monster, you dare to falsely call yourself a monk, and you are going to hell. I am sent by the gods to kill them all." You monsters, if the Lord of Hell gets the news, he will definitely add a few more entries to my merit book. I will definitely live longer than you. When death is imminent, I will let you know what you are thinking! You did it! ! You said that if you don’t practice well, you do some evil things and do harm to people. It’s really fucking unreasonable.
If you are wise, please kowtow quickly and beg for mercy. Your grandpa Guan is kind-hearted and soft-faced. I will cut off your pig head with my knife and give you a pleasure! "
? The third child was indeed frightened. His face changed and he begged for mercy quickly, shouting "Grandpa Guan" one after another. He also explained the cause and effect in detail:
It turns out that the eldest brother is a long-tailed rat spirit who has been cultivating for nearly six hundred years. Only because he accidentally ate a thousand-year-old Ganoderma lucidum more than 500 years ago and practiced hard to achieve Taoism, the second brother is indeed a skeleton spirit, and he is a wild boar spirit with the least number of years of cultivation. The three demons wanted to take a shortcut and become adults early, so they went around killing people, skinning them, dressing them up, and pretending to be human beings. The location of the jewels was revealed. I begged Guan San to spare his life.
Guan San secretly made a note of where the treasures were buried, knowing that he could kill this monster but not keep it! : "If I don't kill you now, it will be hard to honor my name! It’s hard to rectify Tianwei! "Then he killed the killer with pain, raised the knife in his hand, and chopped off his head...
After Guan Sandao killed the three demons, he sat on the ground panting tiredly. Looking at the bloody corpse on the ground , there was blood all over the place. He said in his heart: These three demons are dead, so they should not harm anyone again. Why not take the heads of the three demons to the government, go to claim the credit, and collect the three demon heads in a bag? Close it up, go back to the temple to rest...
Just when Guan San was about to fall asleep, suddenly, the sky became dim, dark clouds rolled over the Guandi Temple, and the wind blew stronger and stronger. , lightning streaked across the sky, like a startling dragon, thunder rolled, the heaven and earth shook like a golden snake dancing wildly, tearing apart the Milky Way, and in an instant, raindrops as big as copper coins rained down like a blanket, and several more thunderbolts fell. The thunder struck directly on the corpses of these three demons. Only the awe-inspiring righteousness could resist the thunder. The ordinary demons could not withstand it. Suddenly, the flames burst out, and the corpses exploded in the flames, as if they were groaning and resisting. . Thick black smoke twisted into columns of smoke and floated into the sky. The ashes fell in all directions, and there was a pungent smell in the air...
Guan San was shocked when he heard the scene outside the temple. My soul was out of my mind, and my body was like chaff. But then I thought: This thunder was so loud, it must be the god of thunder in the sky who dropped the thunder to destroy the evil spirits. I should have made a few entries in the merit book of the underworld. Guan San just comforted himself and fell asleep...
There is an ancient book saying: A spiritual person gathers his essence and energy. If they take shape and disperse, they will become zero... The monsters of plants and trees are called monsters, and the monsters of animals are called evil spirits. If these three monsters can really practice hard and practice hard, they will always benefit the people of the area and create many good relationships. He could eventually cultivate a human body and even become an immortal. Unfortunately, his desire for profit was so captivating that he revealed his true nature and harmed all living beings. Unexpectedly, Guan San learned of his intentions and suffered what happened to him. In the disaster, he was shattered to pieces by thunder and fire, and it was the execution of these three demons that made Guan San famous.
Guan San returned to the temple and found the statue of Emperor Guan. The black-faced general (Zhou Cang) next to him looked more and more familiar. Suddenly, he slapped his head and saw that it was the black man who taught him how to eliminate demons last night. He quickly knelt down and kowtowed several times. He said that it was thanks to Emperor Guan Sheng that he sent Zhou Cang to teach him how to protect himself from the demons, so he happily wrapped the heads of the three demons in a bag and went into the nearby village. p> This village is called Shuanglong Village because there are two rivers in the village that are intertwined and separated, like two dragons fighting each other. The village is just above the two dragons playing with each other, so it got this name. The village is simple and prosperous. When the villagers saw a stranger coming into the village, they couldn't help but look carefully. Guan Sanzhengchou didn't recognize him. He found a bamboo pole on the stone mill and picked up the three demons' heads. , shouting and boasting at the top of his lungs: "Fathers and fellow villagers, take a look! These three heads are the melon seeds of the monster's head. These three monsters are causing chaos and killing innocent people. I, Mr. Guan, will kill them with one hand! "Everyone was shocked. Those who called mother called mother, those who called father called father, and the bastard rolled around in watermelon.
? I haven’t seen a tiger in three years since I was a child. Once I saw it this time, I didn’t want to see it again. While running away, I cursed the bastard county magistrate in my heart: The damned county magistrate, what kind of good mission did you send to your grandpa Guan? When I escape alive, I must let him taste the taste of steel knives.
When he thought of the steel knife, Guan San's mind turned away. He turned around and pulled out the sword, then stopped. The big insect didn't feel strange when he saw someone stop, and he stopped and stared straight at him. This is called being still rather than moving. Suddenly I heard a sound around me, and I saw five or six wolves running out from behind Guan San. Those wolves had fierce eyes, bared their fangs, spit out blood-red tongues, and drooped their saliva. They looked like they were going to After eating this pass three. Guan San was so frightened that his pigtails stood up and he secretly screamed, "It's really raining all night long when the house leaks, and the boat is late and encounters a headwind." What a bad luck.
When the group of wolves saw that the tiger was alone, they became bold and started to move first. One wolf jumped to the side, and the other rushed towards Guan San. He twisted his waist and flashed past. One bite bit his arm, "Ah" Guan San screamed, and hurriedly slashed at it with a knife. The wolf was very cunning and wanted to retreat after getting an advantage, but he had no choice but to do so. Suddenly he saw a road next to him, so he went to a higher place while they were not paying attention... Seeing that the prey was scared away by the pack of wolves, the big insect couldn't help but get angry. The tiger roared, like a thunderbolt for a long time, and became sexually active. He was not afraid of any one. The dead wolf rushed towards it fiercely. Seeing the situation, the big insect waved its claws and hit the wolf's head directly. "Crack!" the brains came out. It lay all over the ground red and white, and it couldn't stop screaming. No chatter, he was killed by the claws of a tiger. The wolves were a little frightened when they saw this, but they couldn't hold the food in their mouths, so they all rushed forward and bit it, focusing on the thin skin and soft flesh. The tiger's belly was the most tender and was most afraid of sharp objects. For a time, the two were fighting inextricably and evenly matched. When wolves and tigers fight, one of them will die.
? It is true that a good man cannot defeat four enemies, and a vicious tiger cannot defeat a pack of wolves. Finally, the big insect clearly had the upper hand. There were countless blood bars on its body, and it was dripping with blood. It no longer had the previous momentum. The group of ferocious wolves were not much better. Two were killed by tigers, one was mauled to death, another was beaten to death, and only two were left disabled.
This Guan San can be seen really clearly from a high place. I wonder how long it will take if I don’t take action now! Immediately, taking advantage of the confrontation between the big insect and the two wolves, he suddenly stood up and held a thick wooden branch found somewhere in his hands. With all his strength, he used only one stick to chop it down from a high place and hit the big insect. The big insect saw a noise above its head, rustled to the ground, and knocked down the branches and leaves of the tree. There was only a muffled "click" sound, and the thick wooden branch was broken into two pieces. Only the big insect could be seen. Blood burst out from its eyes, mouth, nose, and ears. It was even more unable to move. Breathe out through your mouth. Seeing this scene, the two wolves also ran away, no longer thinking about eating people. ?
Guan San looked up to the sky and laughed: "What do you mean, the fortunes turn! Hahahaha, it's all because of Master Guan's protection (he raised his hands to the sky) Grandpa, I didn't become the meal of this big insect. You evil beast, you The good days are over!" After saying this, he took out his sword and stabbed the big insect in the heart. Immediately, blood surged out, and he died after a few moans. Guan San was no longer so timid. It was also because of the incident with the three demons that his courage was sharpened. He sat next to the dead tiger and ate dry food. When he almost regained his strength, he went down the mountain to look for people. How the people carried the dead tiger and how to deal with it will not be mentioned for now.
The Guan San that I just mentioned is really a fart from the earth, and his air is stunned. For a time, it was spread in the streets and alleys that Guan San was instructed by the Holy Emperor Guan to kill the three monsters and used clever methods to kill the big insects. He was considered a saint in front of others.
? There was a man who was familiar with Yin and Yang and could do divination. When he learned where three demons were causing harm to one party, he sighed and said: "Well, as the saying goes, when a country is about to prosper, it must be auspicious; the country must be auspicious; If you are about to die, evildoers will appear! Even if the gods descend to earth and save our dynasty, it will be difficult to change the fate of our dynasty. "The Qing Dynasty at that time used the words of Zhuge Wuhou during the Three Kingdoms: On top of the temple, a rotten tree is used as an official. Between the palace and the majesty, animals and beasts eat their salary, and even the wolf-hearted and dog-eating people are raging in the court; the servile and humble people are in power! The country is about to perish!
This year is the third year of Xuantong
Sure enough, on the 19th day of the eighth lunar month in the third year of Xuantong, the Revolution of 1911, gunfire rang out. The whole country was shocked! It seemed that the everlasting Qing Empire fell apart in an instant and fell apart. The Manchu Qing Dynasty withdrew from the stage of history.
? Later generations praised:
? The Guan Temple is very courageous in slaying monsters, and the two dragons fight the tiger to show their heroism. "People value friendship like their ancestors." His surname and given name are three characters and three swords.
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