The Art of Communication Chapter 4 Perception is what you see.

One of the ways to avoid misunderstanding others is to understand perception.

The so-called perception, in my opinion, is to have a different understanding of people you know, what you hear and what you encounter. We achieve this goal through four steps of our own experience: selection, organization, interpretation and negotiation.

1, select

Because the amount of information around us far exceeds the limit we can handle, the first step of perception is to choose the information that can impress us. The intensity of stimulation, repeated stimulation, frequent comparison or conversion, and motivation will all affect our choice of information.

Step 2 organize

Organization is to put the object of communication in a certain environment, thus highlighting its image. For example, if someone is a doctor, he should have the moral quality of saving lives.

Step 3 explain

Interpreting a certain way makes it have a specific meaning. The following factors affect the way we interpret a thing or behavior: the depth of friendship, personal experience, assumptions about human behavior, attitudes, expectations and so on.

Step 4 negotiate

Between two people or a group of people, trying to achieve a kind of * * * knowledge in perception.

Factors affecting perception are as follows:

1. The amount of information obtained;

2. Physiological factors; This includes a person's age, mental state (whether tired or not), hunger or not, and some physiological cycles, such as body temperature, alertness, sexual desire, anti-stress, mood and so on.

3. Cultural differences;

4. Social role.

The tendency of perception, like the tendency of human nature itself to perception, is also a defect of human nature.

1. For example, be strict with others and be kind to yourself. Self-interest tendency, for example, if someone curses, we say that he has no quality. That's what happens when swearing, so don't spit it out. )

2. Prejudice, the first cause effect.

3. Treat others with your own heart. What you think is not necessarily what you think. Your drumstick may not be liked by others.

Using the method of perception check can avoid arbitrary definition and reduce misunderstanding.

1. Describe the behavior you noticed.

2. List at least two possible explanations for this behavior.

3. Ask the other party to clarify the behavior explanation.

After dinner, you sit in a chair. Do you want to take a break to wash the dishes or not?

At the same time, enhancing cognitive complexity helps us to understand and explain other people's behaviors in more ways.