Seek a campus sketch script that can be performed by many people.

People: (three people, classmates)

Landscape: Bench under the street lamp on campus Author: Passing by is beauty.

Male student: Liu (played by Liu)

Female student: Huang Bu (played by Yang Dan)

Security guard: A (played by Li Haibo)

Woman: (On the stage) My name is Huang Bu, and I haven't had a boyfriend since my junior year. Everyone says that freshman is charming, sophomore is handsome, and junior pulls the alarm. The alarm has been ringing for a month. Finally, yesterday, I hooked up with a freshman boy. On QQ, he said he was a man. My mother said, if you look for him, just find a tall and powerful one. I don't think he can be wrong.

Man: (singing) There are so many lonely people, and I am the only one who is happy.

Here's the thing. I met a junior in QQ and asked me how old I was, a freshman. What happened to my freshman year? I didn't start late. Although I am young, I can be a thief and a lesbian. It's not that you don't know the situation in our school: the ratio of male to female is far from matching, girls line up in front of the building, and boys are overwhelmed and have to retreat. Seeing others in pairs, drinking a cup of boiled water makes my stomach ache, and my pure heart is getting haggard, so I want to date in my dream at night. In short, a person is miserable. What are you laughing at? Without girlfriends, they are losers. This date not only represents me personally, but also is the collective honor of our class. Look, this dress is from Tao Ge, this shoe is from my brother, and this hairstyle was designed by Sister Yan for me. Are you kidding? They are all celebrities in the school. By the way, I have to say the secret code: lonely boy, talk without laughing.

Woman: Lonely girl, helpless.

M: Playing cards at night and sleeping during the day.

Woman: I live alone and feel very bored.

M: Find a bosom friend to relieve boredom and begin to understand.

W: Making friends is my hobby.

Woman: Oh, and you are? (patting Liu on the shoulder)

Man: (holding Huang's hand forward) My name is Liu, I call it Tang, and my full name is Liu Tang. So you must be?

Woman: (shaking off Liu's hand twice) What are you doing? Just met, don't hold on so tight. My name is Huang. (To the audience: pure boutique man, male bodybuilding) Your mother must be a lout. Otherwise, how could I give you such a name?

Man: Who is a lout? My mother has had me since she graduated from junior high school.

W: You have a good sense of humor.

M: Not humorous. This is called loneliness.

Woman: What are you lonely for? It is said that you boys have a good life. You can play ball outside when you have time and brag when you come back. Unlike me, everyone else is in love, and I am blind in the dormitory.

Man: You can't say that. You are alone, and we are even more lonely together.

W: Don't you like playing ball?

M: I like playing with glass balls.

Do you like reading novels?

M: I tell you, I like reading novels very much. I've read all Jin Yong's novels, and I'm tired of Gu Long's. Qiong Yao's novels are sticky and sticky, and my young heart is eager to change. (Making eye contact with the lady) What do you like to watch?

W: I like watching TV.

M: Watching TV? We are not allowed to watch in our school dormitory. Besides, watching TV is nothing more than talking and laughing, making noise, jumping and cuddling.

W: You, what you said is too extreme. Television has many benefits that you can't see. It can talk to me, laugh with me, sing with me and dance with me. Only lonely me can feel this feeling of happiness. (Holding Liu's hand, embarrassed to say) Sit down, idiot!

Man: Gee, it's quite strong. I heard that you have binoculars in every dormitory. Is it true?/You don't say.

Woman: Yes, sometimes curtains are hung in boys' dormitories, which is a damn thing!

M: We also have privacy.

Woman: However, it is more enjoyable to see boys in the first year. Cool! How cool!

Really?

Woman: Well, that's great!

Do you know the five relationships between our classmates?

W: Certainly.

Man: Why didn't you tell me?

W: Yes, the first one is deskmate relationship. The survival rate was 10%.

M: I know. It's you at the same table. How can there be a survival rate?

W: That's the success rate. Are you a child? The second is revolutionary relations.

M: What does it matter?

Female: It is the most stubborn reason that boys and girls work together because of organization. Revolutionary relationship is a high-quality soil for cultivating love, which has created a hundred years of success for many "revolutionary predecessors". The survival rate is 45%.

M: What about the third one?

W: The third kind is unrequited love.

Man: You like him, but he doesn't like you, right?

Woman: Yes, (proudly) I once had a crush on eight people together! The survival rate is 5%.

Man: Oh, it happens to be the dormitory. How tired that is. What about the fourth one?

Woman: vows of eternal love.

M: Great.

W: You have a big tail. This relationship is to pretend to be great and not like it, and it is the most stupid relationship. The survival rate is 20%.

Man: What else?

Woman: That's the last kind, cohabitation.

M: Just renting a house off campus.

W: Smart, a special case of mutual utilization, and sensitive. I told you too much, I'm afraid you can't learn well. The survival rate is 20%.

M: What about us? (Holding a woman's hand)

Woman: (pointing to the man's forehead) Silly!

M: Actually, I think you are very nice. You talk like stepping on cotton.

Woman: Actually, I think you are a good person, too. Why don't you have a girlfriend? (Pull that man down)

Man: (stands up again) I just came to school. I didn't see the advertisement. I don't know the depth, I didn't find the trick.

What kind of girl do you like? (turning around, embarrassed)

Man: (sitting in the chair, moving the chair three times, close to the woman) I like the kind of straight, talking and laughing, fighting and joking. It allows me to lean on the ground. (actively leaning on the woman's shoulder)

Woman: (emotionally) Yes, go up!

The security team came to power: I just joined the student union yesterday, and I am honored to be elected as the security team. It's still early, and I don't want to sleep. Checking the campus is not afraid of fatigue. What are the first two people doing? It is shameful to hug in public. Hey, classmate, it's almost eleven o'clock It's time to go back to the dormitory.

Woman: (pushes away the man, stands up and stares angrily at the nurse's armor. )

Man: (the man sits on the ground with his head in his hands) Oh, my God, it belongs to the Public Security Bureau. I did nothing wrong.

W: Look at this sample. Did you pee your pants?

Man: (looking at his leg, loudly saying) No urine.

Security guard: Didn't I hear you two?

Man: I heard you, teacher.

Woman: What a teacher! Old Moka is dazzling, so she can't stop talking and walk to the ground. What are you yelling about?

Man: I said the teacher didn't take the baton. (stand up and take a closer look. God, the security team is on the ground.

Security guard: Yes, I am the security guard of the College Student Union. Why don't you go back to the dormitory? Let's talk about dating tomorrow.

Woman: Are you a cow with a broken fire stick? When we first arrived, our mood was provoked by you, the feeling that you were with me. You accompany me. I am a junior. Is it easy? Me. (Pretending to cry)

Man: (soothingly) Don't cry. I want to cry if you cry. By the way, who will stand up if I don't stand up on this occasion today? I'm not going to hell. Who is going to hell? I tell you, I am also a member of the student union.

Security guard: Which department are you from?

M: Apartment.

Security guard: Let's go and have a look. You won't pass the image exam.

W: Do you have a good image? (cry when you finish)

Security guard: Did you come in through the back door?

M: There is no back door in our apartment. I tell you, I came in through hundreds of people's campaigns and speeches.

Security guard: Just you? No wonder. Now it is: Brother Liu is getting younger and younger, and Brother Xu's hair is getting less and less, so I chose this strange thing of yours.

Man: You mustn't talk about them behind their backs.

Security guard: I'm not talking about them, a whole wave, a pair of 250, nothing!

Your image is very good.

Woman: It's the same size horizontally and vertically.

Security guard: What can I do for you? You're not from a boarding house.

Woman: (wiping tears) Although I am not a boarder, I respect them and like them. Why?

Security guard: Our school nursing team is also good. They are all handsome guys.

Woman: Yes, they are all one man's army. Are like buckets. I can't find a partner and care about others. You're all red-eyed

M: Are the eyes of the security guards all red?

Security guard: Who buried the land? But then again, I also want to join the boarding house. The most hateful thing is that those two old guys don't want me. He also said that I was too forced to pretend, and my face was better than Li Shuang.

M: Did you just say Li Shuanger? (Proud) That's the love of all the boys in our boarding house!

W: Who is your true love? Be clear. (Pinch a man's ear with your hand, pinch a man's waist)

Man: You are, you are. Come on!

Security guard: if you talk nonsense again, be careful of your one-foot-eight waist and let her break it.

Man: Do you know my waistline? I said that once I was taking a bath in the bath, a person looked at me straight, so it was you.

Security guard: Who wants to see you? You are the captain of the sparerib team, right?

Woman: (touching the man's upper body) What happened to the ribs? I like to touch a man who has no meat anywhere! (Stamping) I'm so angry with you!

Security guard: Why?

W: Then I can't tell you. This is our secret.

Man: Yes, our secret. (To the audience:) What's our secret?

Security guard: (turning around) If you want to touch it, it's not in this campus!

Woman: Look at what you said, old hat. Have you read the new handbook for college students?

Security guard: No.

Woman: I tell you, now college students can not only fall in love, but also get married at school!

Security guard: Really? So you can't hug on campus?

Woman: What's wrong with the hug? What got in your way? We didn't do anything else.

Man: Yes, we didn't do anything else.

Security guard: To be honest, I don't have a girlfriend either. I think. (complaining) Can you, can you introduce me to one?

Woman: Please?

Man: We can kick his ass this time.

W: Yes, let's ask him a few small questions.

M: Oh. I said: The monkey picked up a card and climbed to the branch to see what it was. Unexpectedly, a lightning strike hit it. What did the monkey cry and say?

Security guard: So are monkeys. What were you looking at when you climbed the tree? Is it badly hurt?

W: That's beside the point. Let's go

Dude, I found a card. What happened when I finished?

Security guard: it said, said, why didn't I bring my umbrella?

Woman: It's not easy to be as stupid as you. Tell him what he said.

Man: (holding an IP in his hand) The monkey said, "It turned out to be an IP card!"

Security guard: Why didn't I think of that?

Woman: (fiddling with the security guard's head with her hand) This brain type was struck by lightning at first sight.

Security guard: I have never been struck by lightning. I was kicked by a donkey twice when I was a child.

Are you lonely?

Security guard: nonsense, can I join the security guard if I'm not lonely? It's even lonelier to go in.

M: It's very simple. Take off your armband. Tie the armband to a stick and go to the roof to wave the stick when it is windy. People want to ask you: What are you doing? what did you say ? /Excuse me?

Security guard: I don't know what to do.

Woman: Just say: I'm out of my mind!

Security guard: Oh, I have a seizure, I have a seizure, you have a seizure! Didn't you bury us on purpose?

Woman: Come on, I'll tell you another one. You are a police dog.

Security guard: Who is the police dog?

Woman: Pretend! Do you still want a girlfriend?

Security guard: OK, I'm a police dog. Woof!

Woman: Speak up!

Security guard: woof!

Woman: It is said that the police dog saw a shameless dog coming on the road.

Security guard: It's not aimed at us at all!

Woman: He rushed over and asked him, I'm a police dog. What are you?

Security guard: (angrily to man) I'm a police dog. What are you?

Man: Are police dogs awesome?

W: (to the nurse) What do you think high heels will say?

Security guard: He must have scared him this time, right? I tell you, there are not many smart people like me in the security team!

Woman: (pointing to the man) Tell him what that rotten dog said.

Man: Idiot, look carefully, I'm in plain clothes!

Woman: You're hopeless! Alas!

Security guard: Will you test me again? Good sister, ah, good sister.

Woman: For the last time, this question, you must prove that you are a person.

Security guard: This is easy to handle. Come out.

M: Suppose you run a race with a bear. What do you want: 1? You run faster than a bear; 2. Run as fast; 3. You run slower than a bear …

Woman: Choose one of three, got it?

Security guard: Of course I run fast. The nursing team in our school runs very fast. How to explain it?

Woman: You are worse than an animal.

Security guard: Why curse?

Dude, by the way, that's how we technical girls talk!

Security guard: What if I run slower than it?

Woman: You are worse than an animal.

Security guard: I see, and then I run as fast as a bear, that's all?

Woman: Then, I'm sorry, you are an animal!

Man: Did you hear that? Our sister recognized you. You are hopeless.

Security guard: ouch! You two play with me.

Woman: We are a family! You, before it's too late, find a corner to squat down and sing "Conquest"! Let's leave now.

Security guard: What are you doing? Don't stay outside at night!

Male+female: Let's go back to our respective buildings. Goodbye! (Holding hands with each other)

Security guard: alas! I am a real turtle. They fooled me on the first day of patrol. It's really hard to be a man in the security team! alas ...

Men and women join hands, salute together and leave. )

(End of full text)