Communication skills of guiding and avoiding lovers to change their attitudes in cold violence

Communication skills of guiding and avoiding lovers to change their attitudes in cold violence

People often ask, what should couples do after avoiding cold violence? There are 30 moves/sentence patterns that can be used to guide the change of avoidant attachment attitude during cold violence. Each move/sentence pattern is classic and can be used directly.

1. If the avoidant always ignores you, you can tell him: If you don't return my messages, it must mean that you need space. No matter what impression I made on you before, I have figured it out now, at this moment. However, I really hope that when you can, when it is convenient, reply to me, even if it is just a hug, I will be very grateful.

2. If the evasive type breaks up with you, but there are all kinds of small moves and coquettish operations during the period, I can't let you go. I don't contact you directly: I disconnect directly until the other party comes to you.

3. After quarreling with the escapist, I began to hide. You said: let's calm down for three days, and then you can tell me what you didn't say, ok?

4. If the avoidant person thinks you are too emotional, always anxious and always indifferent to you: talk to him in a plain tone. In other words, try to talk only about things that are not "emotional", such as what you did today and did you have dinner? Take a good look at this piano. I went to play the script today and killed it ... If you keep commenting for a while, his attitude towards you will gradually change.

5. If the avoidant is cold to you, you say: I feel that you have been particularly cold to me recently and didn't care about me before. I don't know what happened. If you can, can you tell me something?

6. If you say evasively that you don't know him at all, you and he don't belong to the same world at all, you can say: I don't know you, but you can't doubt that what I want to know is just beyond my power. But you can also try to make me understand. There are many things you don't want to say, so what should I do?

7. If avoidant depression doesn't like you and you feel unattractive, you can say: I admit that you are not so satisfied with me at this moment. But I'm not always like this. You're not blind when you like me, are you? You just don't like it that much now. It's okay. You have your rights. You can see better things around you. I will accept myself well. Then, say that finish, just ignore it!

8. If you say evasively that you just need your own space, please be quiet and don't say anything, okay? I said I needed space, and you had nothing to say. Say at most: Oh! Enough!

9. If you try to write a small composition or even harass during the cold violence, the evasive type can have a basic reply, um, oh, ah, a simple reply, you say (after that, you must disappear! ! ! ): I have been interrupting these days. I know you're tired of what I say, or you don't want to see it anymore. Take good care of yourself in the future, and I will be fine. We are destined to meet. Good luck.

10, if you severely scold him for hiding, and he EMO hides, you can say this: I admit that I am a little mean, and most of the time I am a bit mean. I really hurt you this time. I can't argue If you like, when you are not so hard, give me a chance to make up for it, ok? I won't bother you and stimulate you for the time being.

1 1. If the evasive type says you won't care about him, it is more useful to use action at this time. Choose your own gifts, exquisite and expensive, and send them at a specific time (such as festivals and anniversaries). Or observe each other's preferences and recent needs and give them just the right gift.

12. If it is deleted, it will be hacked to see if there are other social accounts. If so, try to send him a short composition. The content is roughly in line with the existing contradictions-apology-once beautiful-future blessing. If all the contact information is hacked, I'm sorry, he really hates you. I feel sorry for his troubles.

13. If avoidant people often say that they are not good enough for you, be careful that he really thinks so. At this time, you should say: honey, maybe you feel bad and don't deserve me for some reason now. You know, not being worthy of me actually means that you care about me, and you want to be worthy because you care. As long as I have this love, it is enough. I am willing to bear and face the rest with you.

14, if your relationship with the evader stays in the same place and you are at a loss, you should tell him that we are really attracted to each other for some reason. I liked you, and I'm sure you liked it, too, otherwise we wouldn't have maintained this relationship, and we still insist on it until now. But at present, everyone has a wall and can't understand each other. I really want to tear down this wall and see what's going on there, but I know you don't want me to. Then we have to stop. Good luck.

15, if the avoidant is cheating, but he still has feelings for you, tell him: our feelings are really tortuous and the quarrel is not satisfactory. But I really didn't expect that one day you would move on and cheat on me. I always thought that no matter what, you would never do the last thing that hurt me the most. Anyway, I'm tired, I know, and you're tired, too. I wish you both happiness. Then, stop talking.

16, if you escape cheating and want to have a mistress, I don't care about you at all, change people.

17. If you break up, the evader will soon find a new lover, but you can't let go. At this time, you can only wait for the opportunity. Don't send messages as soon as people find new lovers. Nothing is appropriate to send. Especially when the other person is in love, you go in and join, and you are dead! Put up with it, save your strength, and then try to establish contact after they have a conflict. Believe me, the escapist likes her ex to interfere.

18. If avoidant attachment is fierce to you and scolds you, they will often feel guilty for a while at this time. In the meantime, don't be convinced when he apologizes. Tell him that you are hurt and show that you are really angry and hurt. And be sure to guide him to make changes.

19, if avoidant violence against you? Replace.

20. Avoidance is to test you when you quarrel, that is, to talk casually, but not to talk about the topic, such as asking if you have eaten, where you are and when you will come back. At this time, they are actually unsafe and need you. You should reply to the message in time, speak actively and enthusiastically, say anything, and go directly to him when they are slowly safe! Or call.

2 1, the evader sent a bunch of friends, but just ignored you: go to his circle of friends and praise him continuously, and then send a WeChat to ask him, do you like someone better, or do you want me to continue chatting with you?

22. When escaping recovery, there was just some progress, and with some coping, it disappeared immediately. At this time, he may be willing to talk to you and have a preliminary interaction with you, but he is not willing to have a deeper interaction. He may not like you and just want to be friends, or he already has someone he likes and wants to try. Therefore, I advise you not to act rashly. It is best to send a circle of friends to brush the sense of existence and wait for the opportunity to see if there will be any interaction. Or you can disappear for more than ten days and try to contact again.

23. What if the avoidant always doesn't meet me? In fact, the escaping heart doesn't have much desire for you, or has no feelings, or doesn't want to see other things. At this time, you talk too much and ask too much, which makes him hate, so bear with it and do your own thing.

24. Avoid telling you repeatedly that you may like others or want to try other women? You tell him: in any case, not cheating is my bottom line and principle in my relationship. If you think there is anything I need to improve, just tell me directly and I can change it. But if you really find someone else, I won't forgive you, and please clean it up before you find it.

25. Avoidant attachment always disappears with you. What if it disappears after playing for three days? You sent him a message: you didn't contact me for XX days today and didn't tell me what to do. I contacted you, but I didn't reply. I was really worried and almost wanted to call the police. The principle is to make him understand the seriousness of the disappearance and keep it in his mind.

26. If avoidant attachment refuses to communicate anything with you, you find that he can't get in. No matter what you say, you really need to calm down for a few days. If the circumstances are serious, you even need to calm down for more than half a month, and then contact him slowly to see if his anger has subsided.

27. If avoidant attachment tells you that he is in a bad state and is not suitable for falling in love, you should tell him: Then we can avoid falling in love and avoid the emotional part. I can still care about you, accompany you and be your friend. I know you really need such a person around you, and I will try my best to understand you more.

28. Avoidance type If it is due to practical reasons, tell you that he is short of money, in debt, under pressure from work, and family discord, and say that you are not suitable to continue. At this time, one or two words can't be solved. What you said is not nice, unless you can really help him in reality (for example, if he is in debt, you really lend him some money, and his family doesn't agree, you should try to get him to agree and go to see his parents), so that he can eliminate his worries, otherwise other words won't play much role. So this work is mainly about behavior.

29. What if avoidance tells you not to bother him again? There are several conditions for this score. If he has finished, he will accuse you a lot and vent a lot of emotions, indicating that there is hate, and there is love when there is hate, because he cares. So just come back in a few days and make him apologize. If you get hacked after you finish talking, or if you are really fierce and ask you not to disturb, then I advise you to calm down for more than half a month, or even a month. It is definitely necessary to take some measures (such as metaphysics) to promote your relationship, otherwise it will be gone.

No matter what incurable disease you have encountered, a heart that really loves him is the most important thing! With this heart, all the bars, moves and sentence patterns will reflect your mind and let the other person feel it. If you are just immersed in the moves and have no feelings, then the other person will be much less moved. Anyway, let him feel your love! I wish you make up.