Selected funny jokes about men doing housework

Nowadays, many people feel very bored when doing housework because they do the same thing over and over again. So do you know any funny jokes that you can laugh at? Here are the men I have compiled for you Funny jokes about doing housework, I hope it can help you.

Funny jokes about men doing housework

1. The most decent reason: life lies in movement, joints lie in activities, and doing more housework is good for the body.

2. The most outrageous reason: I just like doing housework, what are you going to do to me?

3. The most entertaining reason: Since I do housework, I have a bad taste in my mouth after eating. , my body feels better, my waist no longer hurts, my eyesight is smoother, and I feel more energetic.

4. The most irrelevant reason: I heard that the guy in my community who loves doing housework won the lottery and won the jackpot. I also have to do housework, and I also want to win the jackpot.

5. The most naive reason: I want to keep doing housework, and I plan to apply for the Guinness World Record for the longest time doing housework.

6. The most stinky reason: Others say that my mopping moves are more handsome than Ling Lingqi’s pose.

7. The most motivated reason: My wife said that I never wash clothes cleanly and cut my hands when cutting vegetables. I don’t believe it, my seven-foot tall man can’t do this housework!

8. The most selfless reason: do your own housework and let others enjoy it!

9. The most touching reason: My wife gets dizzy when she cooks, and her hands blister when she mops the floor. I can’t bear to part with her.

9. The most romantic reason: I enjoy doing housework, and my wife enjoys directing me to do housework. There is such a perfect match in the world. What a match made in heaven! Funny jokes compiled

1. Xiao Zhang is most afraid of others saying she is fat. One day, Xiao Li saw Xiao Zhang and said: "You look so thin." ?Xiao Zhang is very happy. After leaving, Xiao Li said to himself: "I'm talking about your sleeves." ?

2. In the mechanical design defense, student Z was questioned by the teacher while holding the drawings. Finally, the instructor became anxious and said: Classmate, as long as you tell me something you really understand about this design, I will let you pass.

3. My graduation project was a study on the toxicity of copper ions and zinc ions to the Chinese giant toad. Then during my defense, the teacher asked you what is the difference between this and the previous classmate. I answered: He is a tadpole and I am a toad.

4. Once the leader inspected the recess exercise, after the end, the physical education teacher should have announced the "dismissal". But the physical education teacher got nervous and forgot his words. After holding it in for a long time, he shouted: "Retreat!"

5. A buddy gave his undergraduate defense. In order to highlight the importance of his research, the first sentence he said on stage was: The finite element method is obsolete. The row above is all professors studying finite element. So this guy was tortured for a whole day!

6. There was a classmate in our class who was very angry during his defense. The teacher asked him why the buzzer sounded? He thought for a long time and blushed for some reason, and then Muster up the courage to answer: Ding!

7. The dormitory is on the 6th floor. When I climbed up, I found that I didn’t bring the key. I went downstairs and asked my aunt to get it. Then I climbed up and opened the door. When I went down, I returned the key. When I climbed up, I found that the door was open. Close it tightly. A classmate next door passed by and said, "I see your door is open, so I'll close it for you." ?

8. After running 800 meters, I want to show off in front of MM. Originally I wanted to say: ?I am made of iron!? But I ended up saying: ?I am made of iron!? When I thought about it wrong, I corrected myself and said: ?I was made of iron!?

9. As the saying goes, there is no such thing. Penitential feasts do not count as feasts. Today is Shrovetide, so let me express all your regrets. If you want to make up for your mistakes, please choose to reply 1. Treat me to a big meal, 2. Treat me to a movie, 3. Give me RMB directly!

10. On Valentine’s Day night, my husband gave my 3-year-old daughter a bath. As soon as I put my daughter in the bathtub, she yelled: Mom, look, daddy is picking up girls? Go back to M to watch the hilarious Valentine’s Day pick-ups and dating real people, the last one will definitely make you laugh

11. Valentine’s Day The girl is having a date with her boyfriend in the park. Woman: It’s so cold. I forgot to wear a coat.

The boyfriend tightened his coat, retracted his neck into the collar and said: Fortunately I wore it, otherwise I would have frozen to death like you.

12. A government official celebrated his birthday. When his officials heard that he was born in the year of the rat, they collected some gold, made a rat, and gave it to him as a birthday gift. When the official saw it, he said happily: "Did you know? My wife's birthday is coming soon. My wife is born in the year of the Ox." ?

13. My friend’s face is a bit long. Once I was sitting across from him at dinner. I said to him that when I saw your face, I thought of something. He followed up with: Eat. Don't say such disgusting things when you are talking!

14. Question: I only have 2 yuan in my pocket, what should I do with the next three meals? Answer: Buy a broken bowl and squat on the street. Question: With a monthly salary of 1,200 yuan, what car should I buy? Answer: Let’s buy two sets of chess. There are four cars! There are also four BMWs.

15. One day, the teacher was in class. Suddenly a cat barked outside and kept making noises. The teacher was very angry and said, "It's so annoying. What is it called?" A classmate replied: Today is Valentine’s Day?

16. I miss you so much that I think about you so much that my mind is filled with your image. Sister Furong, Sister Feng and Xiao Yueyue all see you as you. If I don’t wish you the best, Spring Festival It’s all over, and the blessings are here. I wish you happiness and joy in the Year of the Rabbit!

17. A psychology professor said to the host of the meeting: If you want the women in the meeting to calm down immediately , just ask them a question: Ladies, who is the oldest among you? The venue immediately became silent.

18. If you are my husband, listen carefully: I say one thing at a time, otherwise there will be no good results; work honestly in the class, and I will distribute the salary; you are not allowed to look at other women when you go shopping with you, if you dare He said half a word, kneeling on the washboard without mercy if punished severely.

19. The reporter interviewed Dumb at the news scene. Reporter asked: What do you think about the problem of setting off fireworks and firecrackers randomly in the city? Dumb: How else can I watch? I just climb up the window to watch?

20. Joke: A person with very picky tastes A customer came to the restaurant to eat. He asked the waiter: "Is there any wild duck?" The waiter thought for a while and replied: "No, but I can catch a domestic duck, drive it crazy and burn it for you?"

21. You have a mature face, a pair of squinted eyes, a plaid shirt, and an inherited property, bubbling like a full stop. More importantly, I heard that you still live a long life. Is it true that turtles live for thousands of years?

22. The two of them were chatting. A: Boxing is such a great sport! I like this sport. I rely on boxing to survive, and my income is good this year! B: So, you are a famous boxer? A: No, I am a dentist.

23. Someone participated in the God of Cooking competition and devoured a chicken, 9 burgers, and a large piece of apple pie, and finally won the championship. Before leaving the stage, he said to others: Don't tell my wife, otherwise she won't let me have dinner.

24. Judge: Last month you stole cars, was it efficient? Car thief: Yes. It is a big mistake for you to arrest me now. If you give me a few more weeks, I can guarantee that the traffic congestion problem in our city will be completely solved.

25. A little pig came to the company for an interview. The boss asked: "What do you know?" He said: "There are only two things in the world that I don't know!" The boss said: "So awesome!" Which two things don't you know? ? Xiaozhu said: ? This won’t happen, and that won’t happen either!?

26. Student: Are there any sleeper berths or hard seats at XX? Conductor: No more. Student: Are standing tickets available? Answer: Yes, but student tickets are not sold.

Question: Why? Answer: The Ministry of Railways said that no student will be allowed to go home standing this year!

27. One day, a lazy man took a car to the town to collect the national subsistence allowance subsidy. The car was very crowded, and he Ben asked someone to give up his seat to him, but the man refused. The lazy man said: The country takes care of me, shouldn’t I sit in this little care seat?

28. A happy moment in the Year of the Rabbit. : One day, the little white rabbit told the big white rabbit that he was hungry, so the big white rabbit gave the little white rabbit a pot of carrots and said: "If you are hungry, please help! Go and cut this pot of carrots into diced meat!"

29. On the night of the Lantern Festival, a group of fireflies were flying over the bustling city with people coming and going. When the mosquitoes saw this, they asked: What are you doing? The number is a little low, but at least it can shine!

30. A new soldier went to the mill. Because he was not familiar with the road, he asked an old man to point out the way. A few days later, the recruit went to the mill again and lost his way again. He happened to meet the old man again and asked for directions. The old man was shocked: Comrade, you haven't found it yet?

31. Someone asked His friend: Why do you smile when you smoke? Is the cigarette very fragrant? The friend replied: Where, I just read in the book that smoking a cigarette shortens your life by 5 seconds, and smiling makes you live longer by 10 seconds, so Every time I smoke, I have to smile and earn back 5 seconds of my life. ?

32. A naked girl ran into a taxi, and the driver covered her with his whole body. The girl cursed: "What are you looking at? Have you never seen a naked woman?" !?The driver said:?I want to see where you took out the money!?

33. Two women were fighting for a seat on the bus. The one who didn’t get it said: “I don’t take it often.” The nest fell quickly? The lady who grabbed a seat quickly got up? Sorry, please sit down, delaying your laying of eggs?

34. Reporter: What contribution does football have to physical exercise? ?The coach answered. Reporter: Why are 22 people who need rest running hard on the field, while 40,000 people who need exercise sit and watch. ?

35. There are many applicants for the bodyguard company, and the examiner asks them to perform unique skills. Boxing, karate, Chinese kung fu, etc. were performed. The last one didn't move. Examiner: What are you waiting for? I control the atomic bomb. ?The man said

36. A man applied for a job as a lumberjack, and the speed of logging was astonishing. The manager was surprised: Where did you learn to cut down trees? A: Have you heard of the Sahara Forest? Manager: Are you talking about the Sahara Desert? A: Yes, it is called this now!

37. The pastor is here When he was hosting a wedding for a newlywed couple, since both the bride and groom had long hair, he couldn't tell who was the groom and who was the bride, so he smiled and said to them: "Would one of you please kiss the bride?"

38. Today, my girlfriend of three years dumped her boyfriend! The boyfriend asked her if there was another man, and her answer was, "You are that other man."

39. The bird said to the crow: It would be great if you wear braces, but you will still look like a bird. The crow said to the bird that his teeth were all knocked out and he was still pulling like that. Tooth to Crow: You're a bird in the back, don't be embarrassed here. Crow said to Ya: You eunuch, you still have the nerve to criticize me.

40. The defendant promised the lawyer: If I can only serve half a year in prison, I will pay you an extra $1,000. As a result, he finally got what he wanted. When the lawyer collected the money, he said: This matter is really difficult. Originally, the judges wanted to acquit him.

41. A millionaire returned to his hometown and went to the best hotel, but no one paid attention to him. He shouted to the waiter: Give me a dish worth 1,000 yuan! Sorry sir, we don’t want to buy half of the dish! The waiter said.

42. A sick child held an alphabet card and shouted, "Let's drive. Come and buy a ticket!" The patients came to buy tickets one after another, but only one child did not move. The director asked why you didn't buy a ticket. The child paid. Take out a mental illness badge and say hum, I have a monthly ticket!

43. The CIA issued Orange Alert No. 0214: Millions of wives and husbands have hired private detectives to investigate their spouses’ behavior tomorrow, turning it into Valentine’s Day For Capture Day.

Please raise your awareness and correct yourself to ensure a happy Valentine's Day!

44. April Popularity: I once said to a girl that before I met you, I wanted to be a monk, but when I met I fell in love with you, and you changed the path of my life! But the girl said that she wanted to be a nun for the rest of her life when she met me!

45. Last night, I saw a UFO, and it said it was to retrieve The compatriot who was once left behind, then grabbed my mobile phone, dialed and said happily: Finally found it! I looked over in confusion, and surprisingly found that it was your mobile phone number!

46. Male: Dear Yes, marry me! Woman: Why didn’t you tell me until now? Man: Because I’m afraid of death! Woman: Then why do you still want to tell me? Man: According to statistical principles, married people live longer Ah!

47. A girl went on a date with a boy, even though the weather was cold, she deliberately didn’t wear a coat. The girl said: It's so cold, I forgot to wear a coat! The boy tightened his clothes and said: Fortunately, luckily I wore it, otherwise I would have frozen to death like you.

48. The wife complains that the husband does not understand a woman’s heart and cannot say what she likes to hear. The husband asked her what she liked to hear. The wife said that at least the title should be changed. Don’t call your wife something with three words to make it look more intimate. I understand, old woman.