My 4-year-old son said: I am shy and don’t want to go to kindergarten.

School started yesterday, and my 4-year-old son PP successfully entered the middle class of kindergarten. The mythical beast has returned to its cage, and his parents are happy.

During *** two months of summer vacation, my father took me to Hainan for 10 days and played at my grandparents’ house for one month. I was happy every day. Occasionally, I remind him that this is during the summer vacation, and he will go to kindergarten and middle school when school starts.

One week before the start of school, we took him home. At this time, he was vaccinated every day and let him see us preparing for the start of school: vaccinations, a handsome haircut, and tidying up. Good school uniform and school bag... And he said he just likes to stay at home, why does he go to so many kindergartens.

We gave him various reasons: When parents are at work, who are you playing with at home? Play with fans, lamps, chairs? When I go to kindergarten, I can finally meet my good friend Xinming, and eat a lot of delicious food...

No more. The child's father continued to use aggressive tactics: Dad really wants to go to kindergarten, so let him go and you can play at home. There are so many delicious and fun things, and we can also meet Xinming. I want to play with him.

PP suddenly remembered the fun things in kindergarten, and then started talking non-stop: Our kindergarten has starfish, turtles, small trees, basketball players, and regional activities...

School started yesterday, and he was sent to kindergarten smoothly early in the morning. PP was very excited to see his long-lost good friend Xinming. After school, the two of them were inseparable and played in the open space outside the campus for a long time. I think he will like kindergarten again from now on.

As a result... As a result, this morning, when I woke him up as usual, he was quite happy, but when I put him in school uniform, he was not happy. It seemed that he suddenly realized that he was going to school. kindergarten.

Then I just stayed in bed and refused to get up. My teammates and I took turns trying our best to coax her. For example: The teacher said there was a surprise today... and we could play with Xinming again. ...He was unmoved. Dad said: If you don't go to kindergarten, just stay at home and I'll go. He said that he had to wear the school uniform by himself. PP cried and said: "No, no, no!"

He also pulled me to lie down and sleep with him. I said that my mother had to go to work, and then I got up to brush my teeth. He pulled me and cried hoarsely: "No. ! "

After his father threatened to go to kindergarten by himself several times, he still cried and reluctantly got up from the bed. I took him out to drink water, wash his face on the chair, and then helped him change. school uniform.

This time he did not resist, but he still had a grimace on his face. When he came to the door to put on his shoes and socks, he suddenly said: "I'm shy, I don't want to go to kindergarten." I was stunned after hearing this. Yes, is this the biggest reason? Or is it one of the reasons?

I remember one time during the summer vacation, a large group of relatives came to my parents’ house, and they hadn’t seen PP for a long time. They teased PP, saying that he was very naughty when he was a child. Because in the eyes of relatives, he had some bad deeds when he was a child, such as spitting at will, losing his temper and throwing things around.

This is the deepest impression my relatives have on PP. At that time, because I did not reprimand PP severely, my relatives still had opinions about me as a mother. Saying something like "it's a fault of not raising a good father", I must not condone it.

I am non-committal. I understand PP’s character. He has a difficult character described in “Developmental Psychology”. He takes soft rather than hard, and punishment has no effect on him. Facts have also proved that these two bad habits of his have disappeared by the time he is 3 years old and enters kindergarten. The bad habits that children have are temporary.

But this time the relatives seemed to want to find fault with PP again, saying that PP was very naughty. I told them that PP was actually very well-behaved in kindergarten because he was a little shy.

PP didn’t say anything at the time, but I was a little uneasy. PP could understand the chatter of adults. He was introverted and sensitive, and sometimes he wouldn’t say anything about what was on his mind. Teacher Lin Lin in the small class said that he actually knew everything and asked us to encourage him more. But this teacher who knew PP resigned, which is really a pity.

Today, PP suddenly said that he would not go to kindergarten because he was shy. I was in a panic and didn’t know how to answer. Because I was almost late and wanted to urge him to go out quickly, I didn’t think about it carefully.

I just said: "You can go to kindergarten even if you are shy." Unexpectedly, he cried louder, and I quickly said: "Mom was wrong, Paul is the best." He still didn't buy it, and the child's father pulled him out. He was still struggling. I still said mechanically: "Have fun." I watched my father carry him downstairs.

I began to blame myself and determined not to pay attention to the gossip my relatives said about my child. Even if the child has some minor problems, it doesn’t matter. I don’t need to cater to them. They don’t know the growth and upbringing process of PP. And from now on, I will never say that PP is shy in front of anyone, and then check whether Teacher Du has any solution for this kind of problem.

Afterwards, I asked the child’s father, would PP be willing to go in at the campus gate? He said he didn't want to, but he still used the provocation method "If you don't go, dad will go in." Then he went in, and then entered a short 10-meter epidemic monitoring corridor in the kindergarten. He moved slowly while walking. He squinted at his father with hateful eyes.

After calming down, I saw that there is no very specific answer on the Internet, but I think that since he is willing to speak out and express, this is a good thing, and I don’t need to blame myself too much. I will learn from it and learn from it. wisdom. Then, I want to tell PP when he is in a good mood, "Shyness is actually very cute. Many children will be shy. My mother was shy when she was a child. Do you want to know how to not be shy? Just forget about it." . "

Later I learned that PP was unhappy for a while after entering the classroom, but soon became happy after being relieved by the teacher.

When I came back in the evening, he still said not to go to kindergarten the next day. I took the opportunity to ask him if it was because he was shy, then I sat down with him and said the above words. He still didn't speak, seemed thoughtful for a while, and then ran away. Let's see what happens tomorrow.

"Raising children is like cultivating a small tree. During its growth, it must be pruned regularly so that the tree can grow tall and tall." Keep observing and grow with your children.