Writing in Primary School: My Grandpa's Comments

1. Good Grandpa's composition evaluation During the Spring Festival, everyone has to go out to visit relatives and friends, but it is difficult to take a bus! On this day, I went to my aunt's house and met a kind-hearted man-an elderly grandfather.

On this day, the north wind roared, but there were still many people taking the bus. Everyone looks at the direction of the car from time to time. I shivered in the crowd, rubbing my hands and stamping my feet.

"Here comes the bus-"The voice did not fall, and the crowd became restless, and everyone pushed forward hard. Mom finally got on the bus, and my sister and I were blocked out. Seeing that the bus will leave if I don't get on the bus, my sister cried in a hurry. I pulled my sister, and my palms were sweating anxiously. There is nothing I can do in the face of so many passengers, but I can only watch eagerly. My mother was so anxious that she shouted, "My child, my child-"Just then, a kind old man reached out his hands from the window, lifted his sister up and put her on the seat. Then he picked me up and sat me in his seat. I refused because I thought: Grandpa must need this seat more than me. He said, "Thank you, Grandpa. Please sit down. I am standing. " Grandpa held his sister and sat down. The car started and bumped on the uneven road. The crowd staggered and I couldn't breathe. I was really angry, so I thought, this old car is crowded and bumpy, and it costs money. I might as well walk-but when I saw the old man, my anger was long gone. Grandpa saw my rickety body, so he pulled me to his side and sat me on his lap. At this moment, a warm current flows through my whole body. Half an hour later, our destination arrived. I got off the bus, said goodbye to my grandfather and said to him, "Thank you, Grandpa."

Every time I take the bus, I think of this kind old man and him.

2. My grandfather, who is in his early 70s, is tall and thin. His hair is not all black, but some white. His wrinkled face is inlaid with bright eyes, and he looks much older than his actual age.

Because we often live outside, we don't have much time at home and we don't have much time together, so we all cherish our time together. Whenever I go home, I will take out money to buy delicious food. I know grandpa's kindness, and I will use "no, grandpa, you are old, keep it for yourself!" " "This sentence refused him.

Grandpa cares about me very much. Although he is old, he still has a kind heart.

When I was nine years old, the village flooded my thighs, so I rolled up my trouser legs and walked in the water. Grandpa saw it, not only didn't stop me, but also took a bucket for washing clothes and let me sit in it and paddle with my hands. He just told me to be careful and pay attention to safety. He went back to the shore and looked at me. Seeing that I was not in danger, grandpa sat down, looked at my happy face and couldn't help grinning.

Although my grandfather has no special skills, he is very simple and never shows his seniority by wearing arrogant clothes. He just wants me to grow up quickly and become a pillar!

3. Autumn Composition Comments Li Qiuqiu, Class 3, Grade 3, Unify Road Primary School, Weihai City, Shandong Province, is here. Autumn has come quietly. The only thing I know is those lovely animals and plants. Silent autumn dyed the earth golden yellow. At the scene, Xiaomi was so happy that he accidentally smiled and bent over. The leaves of the big tree feel heavier and heavier at the thought of leaving the mother tree, and then the body becomes heavier and heavier. Mother tree thinks so. With a cruel heart, the child was born. Pine and cypress are proud princes in autumn. Look, mother pine and cypress bought a brand-new green winter dress for her child! When the pine and cypress leaves saw that the maple leaves had no new clothes, they laughed in unison. "Your family is poor and can't afford new clothes." Maple leaf blushed with anger and retorted, "What's the matter? Children of the poor are more likely to become useful people than children of the rich. I'm going out to do something earth-shattering! " A few days later, Maple Leaf put on a new red suit. When the pine and cypress leaves saw it, they bowed their heads in shame, and other trees were even more impressed by the maple leaves. When Maple Mother saw her son's heroic deeds, she gave up and said goodbye to her sons. In the orchard, apples and pomegranates quarreled. Apple said, "If it weren't for my grandfather's grandfather, there would be no cows!" " Pomegranate said, "I don't believe it. Let's make a bet. Can you call that Newton back? " The loser should get fifty bites from the worm! "Apple said," It's a deal! "However, no matter how the apple is called, Newton's shadow can't be seen. Some apples are blushing, some have been bitten by insects and turned green, and some have just fallen asleep, so their faces are still like Huang Chengcheng's. The weather is getting colder. Birds who are afraid of cold fly to the warm south for the winter. This big bear has a chubby belly. I'm going back to the cave to sleep A clever little frog thought of a good place to hibernate-a hole in the earth. But his friends ignored his suggestion. The little frog came up with an idea to let his friends have a hole-digging competition. Everyone is very happy. In this way, the little frog also has a home. The little squirrel also moved to the pine cone as food to cover him with a quilt-a big tail to bask in the sun! As soon as I think of autumn, I know that my favorite winter is not far away. Comments: Rich imagination, beautiful language and fairy-tale characteristics.

In my childhood, I had a good classmate. We go to school together and leave school together. We are inseparable partners.

She has ear-high short hair, a thin figure and loves to wear white sports shoes. It's Momo who laughs all day. She is a person who loves to help her classmates.

The angel of memory brought me back to that day.

On a sunny morning, I hurried to practice. A while ago, because the long flute team had to strengthen training because of the upcoming game, I didn't have time to collect my homework or hold it. Just after training, I suddenly found that the Chinese homework of the whole class was gone! I searched the desk inside and out, but there was still no trace of my homework. Seeing this, I can't help but panic. This is the homework of 39 people! Who will take it away at once? If the teacher finds out, he will definitely criticize me! At this moment, my eyes were full of tears, and I bit my lip and kept blaming myself. An idea came to my mind: go to the office and explain the situation to the teacher.

So I went to the office, but my feet were like lead, and I couldn't lift them. At this moment, a familiar figure jumped into my eyes. Why is this figure so familiar? Driven by curiosity, I decided to find out. When I saw it, it was Momo, the thinnest girl in our class! She seems to be holding her homework. What homework is she holding? So, I ran up to ask DOG. I asked her curiously, "DOG, you are not a department representative. What homework do you have? " But her answer surprised me! She smiled: "You go to training, you don't have time for homework. I am helping you with your Chinese homework! " ""ah! So you got your Chinese homework, do you know? I'm scared to death. " I said reproachfully, but the big stone in my heart fell to the ground. DOG said indignantly, "I am kind enough to help you with your homework, but you say so!" Say that finish, she is in tears, and she is about to cry. You have to tell me later. ""good. "We both do our homework in the office. Since then, she has been helping me with my Chinese homework. What a good classmate! She loves helping her classmates very much, but she doesn't complain or ask for anything in return.

DOG, like a fire in winter, brings warmth to people. She made me understand that it is within my power to help others, and I should do what I can. I should learn from her. (The second composition. Just change the name. )

As long as I can remember, I have had many classmates, including nursery students and kindergarten students ... Some students have been blurred in my memory, and some students have been alienated, but during my six years in primary school, he and I have always been good friends.

His round face, small nose and big eyes are shining with wisdom. Do you know who he is? Yes, Liu.

Liu is a very enthusiastic little boy. Once, our group was a student on duty. Liu is responsible for sweeping the floor and cleaning the blackboard. When he finished the task and saw that I was still working, he whispered to me, "Liao Jia, let me help you clean the water dispenser." Before I knew it, he grabbed the rag, twisted it in the water and cleaned it quickly. Some small cracks are difficult to clear. He put his fingers wrapped in rags into the narrow gap and dug hard. Many things happen. The original water dispenser with a gray head and a gray face has become as bright as a washed face. I was very moved to see all this.

Comments: This composition is well written. There are many good words and sentences in it. The description of the characters is vivid, and a concrete example is given to make people more prominent. Rhetorical devices such as dialogue and metaphor are also used to make the article more vivid. The title is very good, and the sentence structure and structure of the article are very good.

The words are beautiful, euphemistic and fluent, but the lack is that the clues are too messy.

The paragraphs are clear, coherent and beautifully written.

The overall structure and description are not bad.

Generally speaking, this article is well written, with fluent sentences, proper words and neat fonts. I hope to continue to work hard in the future.

My grandfather My grandfather is over 60 years old, but he looks very young, because he never loses his temper, doesn't drink or smoke, and pays great attention to maintenance. Although grandpa has retired and can't stay at home, he is still at work, but his work is very casual. Grandpa has a very important duty, which is to pick me up from school every day.

Every time after school, I will see a dark blue self-driving car parked at the school gate, next to my grandfather. Every time he sees me walk out of the school gate, he always greets me with a smile, and then a warm current comes on my face. My grandfather is a famous "cheapskate", but in my eyes, he is generous. Whenever I leave school, he will always pick him up: "Grandpa, I'm hungry. Buy me something to eat. Grandpa, I don't have an exercise book. Please buy me some ... "Grandpa always agrees to my request. Grandpa is the first person to know my grades every time. Grandpa always smiles and is happy when I do well in the exam. When I know that I didn't do well in the exam, my grandfather will also ask me in a reproachful tone if I was careless again.

In this way, under the careful care of my grandfather every day, I grow up healthily like a happy bird.

6. My grandfather wrote a composition. When I was growing up in the fourth grade of primary school, I thought my grandfather was right. Another example is what Mr. Lao She said: "Without labor, even a flower can't live. Isn't this a fact? " In fact, everyone can only gain something if they work hard. ...

He, an old man in his seventies. Professional, serious people's teacher. Because of his early retirement, he went to work in other places. As he grew older, he retired and became interested in growing flowers. He-my grandfather.

I clearly remember that grandpa didn't start planting flowers until he was in his sixties. At that time, I was young and didn't know anything. I don't know why grandpa planted flowers. First, you can't eat; Second, you can't sell money; Third, occupy the place at home, ok. I tried to ask him several times, but all of them "returned". His seriousness made me afraid to ask. Somehow, grandpa always has a special feeling for flowers, just like Mr. Lao She said, "I love flowers, so I also love planting flowers."

I remember that every summer, the general mobilization of the whole family must "start". After grandpa watered all the flowers in the morning, the whole family should move all the flowers to the empty house to avoid being killed by the hot sun. More than 100 pots of plants have to be moved into the house at once, and they are often tired and sweaty. In the evening, we have to move the flowerpot in again, panting and sweating. I always thought grandpa was looking for trouble.

Until one night, the whole family sat in the yard to enjoy the cool. Grandpa hugged me and said, "Yang Yang, don't you really want to know why Grandpa keeps so many flowers?" "Yes, yes, tell me quickly." I was curious and rushed to the sky. "In fact, grandpa grows flowers for appreciation, in order to share the fun of growing flowers with you. You see, each potted flower has different characteristics and fragrance, which will bring people a lot of happiness, and it is not a bad thing to get more work. In the evening, we had dinner and went to the yard to enjoy the fruits of our labor. How interesting! " After listening to grandpa, I didn't understand, but I still listened with relish.

When I grow up, I think grandpa is right. As Mr. Lao She said, "Without labor, even a flower can't live. Isn't this a fact? " In fact, everyone can only gain if they work hard.

My grandfather is a good man, isn't he? I really admire an old man who loves labor and is serious, healthy and happy. In the future, I want to be like grandpa.

7. How to write the composition evaluation content? Daquan primary school composition evaluation: 1. The content is close to modern life, novel and unique, grasping the pulse of the times and showing the flavor of the times.

2. The context is clear, the sense of hierarchy is strong, and the narrative is orderly and not chaotic.

3. Proper details, clear priorities and clear thinking. Carefully selected, the material seems to be tailor-made for the theme.

4. The narrative is detailed and concrete, the details are vivid and vivid, the characters are vivid and prominent, and the images are full and vivid.

5. Use the environment to set off the emotions of the characters, and the scenes blend, the feelings are in the scene, and the scene is in the scene.

6. Rich imagination, strange ideas, not divorced from the truth of life, tied with the association of life, broaden the reader's thinking and make people feel lively and interesting.

7. Scenery description is vivid and lifelike, words and sentences are appropriate, scenes are born together, and scenes blend together, just like a vivid sketch painting presented to readers.

8. Imagination is wonderful. It not only comes from life, but also transcends life, broadens readers' horizons and is full of artistic charm.

9. The description of the event process is detailed and specific. Although there are many contents, it seems to be orderly, which reflects the author's clear thinking and planning ability for the layout of the article.

10. The appearance is lifelike, the characters are lifelike, and the clothes are decent, just like a mirror reflecting the characters' personality, which is really called "life depends on each other".

1 1. The description of the environment is objective and true, and the environment serves the characters, which better explains the ins and outs of the formation of the characters' personalities.

12. The expression is vivid and vivid, and there are not many words, which outline the personality characteristics of the characters at a glance. The words and manners of the characters have distinct and unique personalities.

Content 1. The content before and after is not closely related, and some contents are too isolated and not closely related to the main body of the article.

2. The narrative is simple and rough, with only one frame structure, and the characters lack distinctive personality characteristics.

3. Inappropriate details and unclear priorities.

4. The content is mostly outlined by lines, and there is no detailed description based on points.

5. Can't keep up with the times, and the content is too old.

8. Collection of Primary School Students' Composition Evaluation [Collection of Primary School Students' Composition Evaluation] This article is ingenious in conception and profound in connotation.

On the surface, the little author writes about squeezing mud by hand, but after careful tasting, he creates a brand-new campus with sincere childlike innocence, expressing children's expectations for the development prospect of the school, and the theme is positive. The language is lively and full of childlike interest.

The topic is the eyes of the article, and it takes some time before writing. The language of the characters in the article is true, especially a passage from my mother, which is original.

This article wrote a very common thing about giving up your seat. Although the selection of materials is a bit trite, the writing method of comparison is still very appropriate: the description of characters is concise and vivid. The description of the portrait of middle-aged women is only a dozen words, but it captures the characteristics.

The two descriptions of Mr. Pang are also very successful, which fully shows the author's disgust and contempt for him. Ending with a question leaves readers room to think.

The ending sticks to the theme and expresses the author's complicated feelings. That's right.

Start with crying, end with laughing, and end with roundness, which effectively expresses the theme. Little girl, don't forget, there is no limit to learning, and you can build a boat happily. Life has a long way to go. If you don't reach your goal, you will be exhausted. Then the door of Peking University Tsinghua is open, and you are missing. What a pity! The future is not * * *, twelve-year-old children should be congratulated, and another masterpiece has come out! Being able to speak this language means that there is no one in the motherland.

Careful description of inner activities and clever care before and after prove that you have mastered certain writing skills. From your article, I seem to see Ba Jin in 2 1 century! I understand your emotional pain very well. Thankfully, you are a strong child, a sensible child, because you have written such a touching masterpiece.

I'm glad to have a student like you. As long as you grasp today, your future will be beautiful and happy. An ugly duckling flew into my jungle. I sympathize with her inferiority and delicacy. I admire her honesty and frankness. I cherish and comfort her wet wings.

Can you believe it? Such an ugly duckling will really become a proud white swan in the dense jungle. This narrative only writes one thing, and I don't feel thin after reading it, because it is typical and can fully express the theme of the article.

It can be seen that young writers will choose materials. By setting suspense and profile, the author successfully created the image of a contemporary outstanding soldier.

This kind of writing is worth learning. Rigorous structure.

Seeing the truth in simplicity is a remarkable feature of this language. Good title.

Empty boxes give people a sense of mystery and have a strong suspense effect. At the same time, as can be seen from the title, this article is also very novel.

The idea is also very clever. Using flashback technique, I pulled out memories of the past from the box in front of me, and there was remorse between the lines, which also reflected my mother's good intentions in educating me.

The details are appropriate. At the beginning of this article, directly get to the point; The middle part grasps the characteristics of Yali pear, and describes its flowers and fruits respectively, with flowers briefly described and fruits detailed; The ending is concise and closely related to the theme.

Vivid language and delicate description. The author described the shape, color and taste of Yali pear in detail, among which the words "pudgy", "Huang Chengcheng" and "My Sweetie" were used properly.

There are many elves in nature. As long as you observe them carefully, they will give you rich associations and beneficial enlightenment. Some people observe bees and praise their selfless dedication; Some people observe ants and admire their industrious character. You observe the little crab and like its stubbornness.

Look, these elves really give us a lot of inspiration. As you said, it's cute for crabs to walk sideways, and it's annoying for people to walk sideways. You found this, and adults have to admire it.

Words are human faces. The progress in writing this composition is obvious, and your face is much brighter. However, the typos you have always hated always follow you and cast a shadow over your composition.

I'll give you a good prescription: look up the words you can't write in the dictionary, and ask the teacher or classmates after writing the composition. would you like to have a try？ Zhang Ming used to be at the starting line with you, but now, people have won three consecutive excellent compositions, and you still have 12 typos and 15 sick sentences, which is tragic enough! You, you. It's not that you have no ability, but that you have no ambition! I'm sorry for those adults. I wonder if this sincere apology can comfort your twisted mind.

I can imagine your anxiety when waiting for the bus; The pain of being left behind by a car; The embarrassment of being crowded in the car. I can understand your resentment.

But I also want to tell you frankly that the teacher is so crowded, and the teacher wants to tell you that just as you will grow up to be a handsome young man in the future, our society will be beautiful, because there are shadows in the sun, but more sunshine. Home should be warm and happy, but your situation is a bit' bad' now. The composition is guided by the reorganization of students' composition evaluation.

The teacher is sympathetic to this, but you should face up to the reality: on the one hand, bad environment can temper your will, and I believe you will succeed; On the other hand, we should try to change the environment. You can boldly do uncle's ideological work and persuade them to play less or not. Although this is not good,' everything is trying'. Let's work together! Li Jian, you dare to reveal your true thoughts in your composition. The teacher admires you for this, but the views in your composition are wrong and one-sided. Although * * students have such and such shortcomings, but this is by no means his whole.

We should learn to fully and correctly understand the things around us (including people). In fact, * * students also have many bright spots, such as he runs fast and works hard.

We should see this and try our best to help him. The beginning of life is good. As long as we sincerely help him, he will definitely change and become a good student, don't you think? * * classmate, do you know? The teacher is really happy for your progress! I hope you will make persistent efforts and recommend to you a famous saying by the famous writer Ostrovschi,' People should dominate their own habits, but never let habits dominate others. If a person can't get rid of his bad habits, it's worthless.

Knowing that Xiao Chang and literary talent are flying, this sophisticated language skill is unmatched by many candidates. If there were no whimsy, childhood would not be colorful. From another angle, I can understand the power and prestige of commanding others.