Selection of classic humorous jokes on WeChat

Life is a big dye vat, with both sorrow and joy. Everyone hates sorrow and is close to joy, so let us use jokes to create the joy that everyone likes. Next is the "Selection of Classic Humorous Jokes on WeChat" that I carefully prepared for you, welcome to watch!

Selection of Classic Humorous Jokes on WeChat (Classics)

1. If you are safe Well, it was a bolt from the blue.

2. My boyfriend and I went to the park to play. By the park lake, I saw a pair of mandarin ducks swimming in the water. I was very envious and could not help but fall in love with the scene. I grabbed my boyfriend's hand and said affectionately: "Dear, let us be like this pair of mandarin ducks in this life and swim in the ocean of love forever, okay?" After hearing this, my boyfriend He actually laughed out loud, and then said in a puzzled manner: "How could a mandarin duck swim into the ocean? Unless it was hit with a stick!"

3. The teacher said, if you want to jump off the building Suicide, it's okay, take your time, try it from the first floor to every floor, make sure you don't want to die. . .

4. There was a constant quarrel across the street. The woman suspected that the man was having an affair, and they kept going on and off all night! This morning, a shirtless and tattooed man came into the elevator and walked straight to the man, "Are you X? Don't fool around outside anymore. I'll kill you!" The man ran down from the elevator, and the strong man shouted, "Don't let me hear anything happening in your house again!" The elevator closed, and the strong man patted his chest and said to himself, "Oh my god, you scared me to death, son. If you don't do well in the exam this time, I'm really sorry for your dad. You have tattoos and gangsters are pretending!"

5. At noon, my Fujian tutor said in the lab that there is a guide to pornographic films. Please take it. Go check it out. We excitedly took it and took a look: Anti-fraud guide...

6. My body is prone to sweating, even if the air conditioner in a large shopping mall is blowing, I went shopping with my girlfriend once and happened to pass by a store selling If you look around at the jewelry counter, you may be sweating too much. The saleswoman considerately handed me a piece of tissue and said, "Sir, it's okay. We can still get a 50% discount on the marked price..."

7. The flies in Beijing are angry! I would like to ask: "Why can the public toilets in Nanchang have three flies, but we in Beijing only have two?!!" The flies in Nanchang glanced at each other: "Who gave you the hukou in Beijing? It’s expensive!”

8. In order to verify whether my dad really quit smoking as he said, I didn’t turn off the gas when I went out this morning?

9. The biggest difference between Eastern and Western cultures is that we Easterners never shout: Amitabha!

10. Just now, my sister came over to me while she was doing her homework and asked me what "violation" means. I replied, "If you If you see a weird guy coming over to kiss your sister, then this is an invasion (my grandma is watching a TV show where this is being played). My dad heard this and came over and said, if a weird guy comes to kiss you, that’s an invasion. If a weird guy kisses your sister, that’s what you deserve!

11. The reason for the resignation of an employee in a certain company was that he had a bad stomach and could not digest the pie drawn by the boss.

12. Leader: Xiao Liu, you are still working overtime at 1 o'clock in the morning. Thank you for your hard work!! The answer is: not hard at all, life is hard? The students are watching the political teacher's broadcast with great interest In the video, the head teacher came over to say two urgent things. Many students "coughed" unconsciously. Seeing the students' reluctant expressions, the head teacher said: "Everyone, it's commercial time now. It will be more exciting after the commercial."

13. On the tip of the tongue The eight-episode documentary about the Periodic Table of Elements that we are planning to shoot: the first episode "Gifts from the Chemical Industry"; the second episode "The Story of Bleach and Melamine"; the third episode "Eating the Periodic Table of Elements"; the fourth episode " The Secret of Gelatin"; Episode 5 "Purification and Refining of Gutter Oil"; Episode 6 "Non-Toxic Pesticides"; Episode 7 "I Have a Date with Cabbage"; Episode 8 "We Are Not Afraid Anymore"! (@ wake up the big crow)

14. After the doctor went on a date with the beautiful woman, he sent the beautiful woman home and passed by a flower shop. The beauty picked up a bouquet of red roses and asked the doctor with a charming face: "Does it look good?" The doctor answered honestly: "It looks good." The beauty asked again: "Does it really look good?" The doctor nodded affirmatively, but still did not take any action.

The beauty finally couldn't help but remind him: "I think it's pretty good-looking too, and I like it very much." The doctor said very sincerely: "If you like it, just watch it for a while."

15. Only when you are not full One worry, when full, there are countless worries.

Selection of classic humorous jokes on WeChat (selected articles)

1. Three generations of poor people with flat chests and thick waists will ruin their lives. Having a big face is not a disease, having thick legs can kill you

2. There are still 100 days left, my dear! There are still 100 days left. The innocent freshman and elementary school girls are about to arrive! There are still 100 days left for sophomores. Seniors are about to have a discount sale, dear! There are only 100 days left, and junior seniors are going to buy one and get one free, dear! There are still 100 days and senior ladies are going to have it off the shelves~ dear~! Hold on~Dear~

3. This copywriting is quite sophisticated. My name is Feng Shujuan. I married a woman who came to rich Africa two years ago and became a local chief. Unfortunately, last month He was killed because of a tribal rebellion. Now I am fighting for the inheritance with his ex-wife. I have to get pregnant quickly and pretend that the child is his flesh and blood in order to successfully obtain the inheritance. Now looking for a serious man. I will give you 1 million for detailed discussions after meeting, and another 4 million after giving birth to the child.

4. I can’t quarrel with my wife, so every time I lose my quarrel, I will secretly increase my wife’s electronic scale by 1 kilogram!

5. Because of words, I will not easily Because the vocabulary has basically not grown, and you can forget it all after drinking two bottles of beer; because the words are always forgotten after memorizing them, I once suspected that I had soy milk in my mind; because Words, in that place, even if you memorize them crazily and crazy, you will still forget them after you memorize them.

6. The most dazzling black-faced master of Bao Zhengfeng is my love, and the mighty Dynasty Mahan stands in two rows. What kind of Weibo is the funniest, and what kind of being shot is the most helpless. I am the most beautiful boy in the Song Dynasty, with stunning appearance since I was a child. Singing the most dazzling Bao Zhengfeng leisurely, I never understand how handsome he is during the day. You are the most beautiful boy in my heart, and there is always a blue sky in the world. Singing leisurely the most dazzling Bao Zhengfeng, the bright moon from a thousand miles away shines in your arms every year

7. I decided to tidy up the house. Take out various rags and brooms to start cleaning. Suddenly I remembered what the Sixth Patriarch Huineng said, "There is nothing in the beginning, so where is the dust?" So I took a shower and went to sleep.

8. While taking the bus, the bus driver suddenly stopped, threw the person in the bus and ran into the convenience store alone. Everyone waited for a long time and was very puzzled. Then he bought a bottle of Coke and ran back. After a few stops, he stopped the car and ran away again. The passengers in the car were even more speechless. As a result, the driver came back with a can, which turned out to be "another bottle". . .

9.

10. "Mr. Gongsun, come and take a look. I have captured an annular solar eclipse. It's so clear." "Ah! It's really clear! Look. It looks like a month? Hey, my lord? You seem to be using the front camera, right?"

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