Women, if you don’t love yourself, no one will love you.

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Someone asked me, how do you think women can be happy?

I thought about it and typed Two words: Self-love.

One must love oneself, and then others will love others; one must respect oneself, and then others will respect others. This is most true in love.

I never think that the balance of love will be completely balanced. In love, there will always be one person who gives a little more. But I firmly believe that love that is too unequal will not lead to happiness. People who do not love themselves will not have true love, but only humble devotion.

So in my opinion, if you want to be together for a long time and be truly happy, you must learn to love yourself. Because you must first learn to love yourself before you can love others better, and only in this way can you be loved better by others.

I have a friend Yu whose husband works out of town and only comes back every few months. She usually lives with her mother.

We were pregnant at about the same time. After giving birth, we each took care of the baby at home, living a life that was reversed day and night. Occasionally we would send WeChat messages when we were free, communicate, and tease and comfort each other.

One weekend when our baby was almost six months old, she suddenly came to my house. It was still winter at that time, and she looked very weak and stood at the door holding her baby wrapped in a rice dumpling, which really shocked me.

The two babies were lying on the exercise frame and playing happily. I teased them and glanced at the girl. Her slender body was wrapped in a big sweater, her face was solemn, her dark circles and eye bags were serious, her eyes were red, as if she had cried, and she sat there without saying a word.

I knew something must have happened to her. It was definitely not as simple as raising the baby too hard. So, I pretended to be relaxed and asked her: "What's the matter? Tell me what happened to my sisters, and I will enlighten you!"

She lowered her head and smiled and said, "Yan, "My husband is back." When I heard that, this was a good thing, and I quickly said, "That's great. How long will it take for you to be back? I can just help you at home, how happy you are!"

She shook her head and said. : "I would rather he not come back. Just over two months after he came back, I...I got pregnant."

When I heard the word "pregnant", I jumped up instantly. You know, we have just given birth to a baby less than half a year ago, and all aspects of our body functions have not yet recovered. Especially for her, who had a caesarean section. Pregnancy at this time is really very dangerous.

I sat next to her and said very seriously: "Are you crazy? Are you pregnant now? Why are you so careless? He can really be so cruel."

Hearing what I said, Yu suddenly cried: "Yan, I don't want to either, but as soon as he came back... he didn't care about my health at all. I asked him to take measures, but he said that he had just given birth to a baby. , She didn’t even have her period, how could she be pregnant? There are so many things going on, and then she only cares about herself.”

Yu cried harder and harder. I hugged her, and I didn’t know where to go with my distressed hands. Let go, her shoulders twitched harder and harder, slowly turning from small sobs to loud sobs.

I knew before that her husband was a scumbag. The girl did everything in the house, and he always acted like an uncle. I saw with my own eyes that when the girl was six or seven months pregnant, she was cooking for him in the kitchen with her huge belly, while he was lying on the sofa watching TV. But I really didn't expect that this irresponsible man would do such a thing regardless of his wife's body and life.

Just when I was filled with indignation and wanted to roll up my sleeves to settle the score with this man, Yu said: "Yan, he said something happened at work, and he suddenly told me to go back early. I dare not tell my mother, you ...Can you accompany me to the hospital?"

Facing her helplessness, I suddenly didn't know whether to be angry or distressed. On the day after the operation, I carried her pale face home, crying and scolding with her. But at the same time, I was scolding her in my heart. She had her own reasons for everything happening today.

I have always felt that in this relationship, she loved very humblely. I don’t know why. Anyway, according to her, from the time they got together, they were destined to be in such a situation where the man is strong and the woman is weak. , she is always the one who compromises, and she can never express any valid opinions.

In this way, she gradually got used to accommodating and giving in, and the man became more and more arbitrary. Therefore, when faced with such a principled issue, she still didn't know how to refuse or protect herself.

I felt sad for her and wanted to slap her as I held her tight. If a woman doesn’t know how to love herself, then why do you expect a man to love you? When you don’t know how to respect yourself and love yourself, how can a man care about you?

People will always bully the weak and fear the strong, and men are the kind of people who will only add to the cake and will not give you help in times of need. The more you have your own principles and the more you make it beyond his reach, the more he will want to love you.

Women must understand that it is useless to just be nice to a man. What is important is that he loves you. When you keep saying that you want a man to respect you and want fairness and justice in a relationship, first reflect on yourself and see if you love yourself properly.

Many women are not responsible for themselves at all. If you love someone, you will be kind to him with all your heart and soul, and you will even love him to the point of constantly "being mean". In fact, such people are often easily abandoned and find it difficult to have a good marriage. Because she has no ability to control her own life.

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Compared to this friend who doesn’t know how to love himself, I have a friend who is a very grown-up woman.

At the beginning of this year, she dragged her husband, who had been separated for more than a year, to get a divorce. Her husband did not agree, and the two went to court. During the adjustment process, the lawyer asked the girl why she wanted a divorce. The girl said: "Because we don't love each other anymore, because we are no longer the same person."

She asked her husband: "I am so happy when we are together." After so many years, do you think you love me?" The man said leisurely: "I bought you a car, bought a house, and paid you so much money every month, isn't that enough?" The girl asked again: "Then Apart from these? What else is there?" The man fell into silence for a long time, unable to say a word.

The girl turned around gracefully and said: "Forget it, let's leave. We are no longer in the same boat. Why do we have to make do with it? I won't delay your happiness, and I hope that I can really live my own life." "

To be honest, many people are puzzled by her decision. They have been married for so many years, they rarely quarrel, they have no major conflicts, and they live a very prosperous life. In the eyes of most Chinese people, In my eyes, days like this are considered good days. You have to know how many marriages in China are full of quarrels, conflicts, and cheating, but they still manage to survive.

I admire my friend's low-key and powerful domineering attitude. If I don't love him anymore, I'll leave him, because I value my love more, and because I value myself more.

I don’t want to and am not qualified to judge anything. I am just curious about how many women care about their own love and their own hearts in today’s society.

What’s the use of holding on to a marriage without love? The house you guard is just an empty shell. When you give up the right to love and love yourself, then Don't really expect a man to give you dignity and fairness.

If you can't even grasp your own love, you can't protect it, or you even look down upon it. No matter how hard you strive for happiness, it's just a model of happiness built by society, and you don't have yourself at all.

In fact, I understand that you will underestimate your own love because of worry, fear and fear.

When you have a crush, you worry that he won’t like you. When you first got together, you worried that you weren’t perfect enough. After a long relationship, you worry that he will get bored. After finally getting married, you worry that he will cheat on you. Change of heart. Just like that, I kept worrying, just like that, I forgot about myself.

Fear makes you compromise without limit, always thinking that as long as you are willing to let go of everything, the other person will give up. But we forget that this kind of love does not have the flexibility that love should have.

Women, if you don’t love yourself, no one will love you, because you have despised yourself from the bottom of your heart.

Things that make us worry and fear will always exist. The Tathagata of the next level will always be the Wukong of the next level. Why bother to be trapped in a cocoon and wrong yourself? Why not be free and unrestrained, and go where the love is and where the heart is.

Love is earned through hard work and earned, but their premise is that you must have enough pride and self-confidence, and you must believe that you do not exist in this world for anyone. You are only there for yourself.

Learn to say no to the man who disrespects you, don’t be afraid of losing, learn to let go of the love that has expired, and don’t be afraid that you will never meet again. If love is an art, then proper self-love is a quality. Only people with this quality can become artists of love.

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