Classic quotations of humor and emotion

1, don't pretend to be superman in front of me, because your underwear doesn't look good.

It's not the first time for us to know each other. Please call my wife first.

When I was fat, I didn't abandon people who were kind to me. I took a small notebook and wrote it down. I will definitely repay you when I lose weight.

Fortunately, when I chased you, you were too heavy to run.

If you are afraid of gaining weight, you are a pig, because people are afraid of being famous and strong.

6. Once upon a time, there was a fat man who heard that yoga could lose weight. Many things happen. Two months later, he became a soft fat man.

7. Dayu didn't enter the house for three times, and his wife sang at home every day and missed him: Dayu missed those years, and love missed those years.

8. An impulsive person like me should get a good beating to calm down.

9. Why do you remind me that money is not everything? I'm not that greedy. I just want money, but I don't expect it to do everything.

10, making money is a kind of ability, spending money is a kind of technology, my ability is limited, but my technology is very high!

1 1. After washing your hair, you should take some selfies even if you don't go out, otherwise it won't be a white wash.

12, don't tell me that school starts, it hurts my feelings.

13, your life is like a clothes hanger with a green hat.

14, I often see you on the bus, you often see me, I fell in love with you at first sight, but you covered your wallet.

15, how many children's shoes complain that the winter vacation time is too fast, because the school is about to start and the homework has not been finished.

16 teacher, I've been saving my homework all summer, and I feel it. Why don't we hand it in?

17, it takes courage to undress, perseverance to wash clothes, and explosiveness to get up.

18, I can tolerate that your oath is false, but I can't tolerate that even the money you gave is false.

19, I want to improve my life. I don't eat dried noodles, I want to eat instant noodles.

20, primary school class fee, junior high school class fee, high school class fee, university class fee process!

2 1, the so-called dilemma is to raise your head and raise your chin!

22. Master, you just played an amateur, so it's not a rest.

23, can you stop measuring, so I will think you can't shit.

24. What is the loneliest thing you have ever heard? Classmate, you are the only one left in the homework.

25. There is a silence called domineering, an introversion called individuality, a simplicity called profundity, and a disdain called conceit.

26, selfie or insist on sending, in case who takes a fancy to it?

Maybe we should kiss to ease the tension between us.

28. You said you were dressed cool and became depressed!

29. If life deceives you, don't be sad or impatient. Tomorrow will be the same anyway.

If you think I am wrong, please tell me. I won't change it anyway. Don't get sick!

3 1, a good brother is like a condom. Any trouble you make can be covered up for you.

32, look at the middle of the nose, Qi Liuhai looks at the face, oblique bangs look at the temperament, no bangs look at the facial features, I am suitable for masking!

33. Leave the diamond and the bachelor can go.

34. When I am strong, I will sweep away all the snacks in the supermarket.

35. How about studying hard when the old man's hair reaches his waist?

36. If you hurt a girl who really loves you, God will give you a complete bitch.

37. Children are happy when they are sad, but we adults can't. We have to eat a good meal or buy something.

When I have money, I will take the person I hate the most to the best mental hospital.

39. Sometimes when I feel that I am doing something, I suddenly feel that this scene seems to have appeared in my dream.

40. Money is not a problem. The problem is that I have no money.

4 1. The recent ghost weather makes me feel like opening the refrigerator every time I open the door.

42, time is always getting old, the palest miss, the most circuitous injury.

I always thought I was a talented person, but I was wrong. I didn't. I became a genius.

44. As an optimistic person in other people's eyes, you are probably hanging to death, and everyone thinks you are swinging.

45. Hard life needs no explanation.

46. The most awesome skill from childhood to adulthood is to be able to tell whether it is father or mother by listening to footsteps, and the even more awesome skill is 1. Within 5 seconds, quickly put away your mobile phone, turn off your computer, and then pick up a pen to study.

47. The representative figure of charm: Master Kong. Thousands of people soak it every day.

48. I'm Nuwa, and it's so hot. Give me 5 yuan to eat ice cream and I'll pinch a jujube for you.

49. I thought meeting me was your fate, maybe your hurdle.

50. How to explain your obesity gracefully? There are many things in my heart, and it is not good to lose weight.

5 1, computer, come on, let me go, I am a person with homework.

Since you are a loser, I will use it.

53. I have an impulse to take a nap as soon as I get up in the morning.

54. When I faced the examination paper, I found that I was suffering from illiteracy.

55. The teacher said that a wrong question is a kind of wealth. I read my paper and found that I am a local tyrant.

56. I suddenly had the impulse to study. I took a sip of water to calm my nerves. Okay, it's calm now. I was too impulsive just now. Fortunately, I have strong self-control.

57. Gold always shines, otherwise it can swim.

58. When it thunders, stand under the big tree and say to God, I want to live too!

59. Blink if you like me, and put your left foot on your right shoulder if you don't like me.

60. Finding a boyfriend is not very demanding. Don't talk to girls.

6 1, some people even say that I wear eye shadow, which is an insult to my dark circles.

62. I love you more than myself! Love is the most vague and unpredictable thing in the world. Times have changed, love has faded, and people who love each other have dispersed.

63. Life is full of hardships. There are many people who embarrass me. Who are you?